A Letter Home

[Dodger01]

10 September 1939

Dearest Lili,

Do you remember how excited we were when I received my orders? Straight out of command school, and my own boat! We opened a bottle of wine, and had such an evening! They'd said that these older IIA boats had been outfitted for blue-water, that they would do the job as well as any. And I was just so happy to have a command that I believed them.

U-9 has just this night returned to the quay in Kiel, and I feel as if the life has been sucked out of me, bit by tiny bit. I don't think I got more than three hours in a row in my bunk over the last 10 days. She leaked from almost every rivet, sparked from almost every fuse. The crew, as good as they were, was not large enough to have regular shift rotations and we were forced to sail with many duty stations under-manned most of the time just to avoid utter exhaustion. We had barely enough men to keep the boat running, let alone engage the enemy. It's a good thing the only ships we saw were Norwegian.

It was the simple fact that my crew was a good mix of both fresh and experienced sailors that saved us. And me, to be honest. I found myself often seeking advice from some of the non-commisioned officers who'd seen sea-duty many more times than I had, and they offered it easily.

But I still feel so dissapointed right now, my sweet, and I am filled with such a deep desire to be next to you in our bed.

I've been told we'll have a full compliment for our next patrol, and that things should be different this time. As I write this, I sit in my small bunk as we take on fresh supplies, looking at your photo, and my heart sinks at the thought of another patrol like this last one.

All my love,
Heinrich

[Cdre Gibs]

Ministary of Propoganda
Letter cencored

Dearest Lili,

Do you remember how excited we were when I received my orders? Straight out of command school, and my own boat! We opened a bottle of wine, and had such an evening! They'd said that these -----------------------------------------------, that they would do the job as well as any. And I was just so happy to have a command that ----------------.

--- has just this -------- to the quay in ---, and I feel as if the life has been sucked out of me, bit by tiny bit. I don't think I got more than three hours in a row in my bunk over the last 10 days. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------. The crew, as good as they were, ---------------------------------------------- and we were ------- to sail with many ----------------------------- most of the time just to avoid ----------------. We had ---------------------------------------. It's a good thing the only -----------------------------.

It was the simple fact that my crew was a good ----------------------------------------. And me, to be honest. I found myself often ------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------, and they offered it easily.

But I still feel so ------------------, my sweet, and I am filled with such a deep desire to be next to you in our bed.

I've been told we'll -------------------------------, and that things should be --------------. As I write this, I sit in my small bunk as we --------------------, looking at your photo, and my heart ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------.

All my love,
Heinrich

Memo to BdU:
Kpt H Dodger seems to lack self disapline and has a tendency to flout KM Security measures. Please address this issue promtly.

In Confidance:
Memo to Gestapo:
Kpt H Dodger may need to be investigated.


(hehe just kidding matey, well done! :D )

[Coda]

20 September 1939


Dear Heinrich,

Yes I remember how excited we were when you got your orders. I couldn’t wait until you got to your boat. I hope you are enjoying long days at the bottom of the sea in a can full of men.

Do you remember Hans, the milkman? He’s helping me through this difficult time. He said I shouldn’t have to worry about you for much longer. He says that 75% of sub crews don’t stay at sea for that long. That’s such great news. Hans is very understanding and he promised to bring me a bottle of wine to make me feel better tonight.

Do you remember Fritz the butcher? He said he has some very special sausage for me to keep me from missing you. He invited me over tomorrow and said he could slip me a big sausage, no extra charge. All the people here are being so kind during you absence. Don’t worry about me; I think I’ll be fine.

Love,



Lili

[WhiteW0lf]

Lmfao :lol:

[Dodger01]

Okay, now you guys do not encourage new members to be creative with their patrol reports with this stuff, honestly...

[Respenus]

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

[AVGWarhawk]

Did these guys get a Dear Hans letter or a Dear John letter?

Dear Hans,

To help the war effort, I entertained an entire panzer division. For the life of me, I have never seen such huge cannons, not to mention the quick and effortless loading of shells. What team work! There always seems to be someone circling his turret and another tiger tank bringing up the rear. What support! A nice tactic in the heat of battle. When they circle the tanks around the target is it just one explosion after another. What excitment when they bring their cannons to bear! I had a mighty fine time lubing their chassis and polishing the cannon tubes. It is a filthy job but someone had to do it. The boys were just blown away at my ability to bend and extend myself to get to the hard to reach places. For the most part, I was able to accomodate all at the same time. They said it was quite a talent! Rest assured that all the boys were well lubed and ready to shoot their shells at a furious rate! I believe an entire platoon is marching into town tomorrow. I think I will get a close look at the rifling in their weapons. So how goes it at he bottom of the ocean? Are the crew especially friendly in the heat of battle?

[bartholomeus84]

Okay, now you guys do not encourage new members to be creative with their patrol reports with this stuff, honestly...
;) I liked it Dodger... don't mind those few who aren't serious. It's always nice to see that people enjoy this game and want to share their thoughts, feelings and storries! :)

Greetz

[Safe-Keeper]

Immersion is always good:cool:.

[Sailor Steve]

Cdre Gibs was just having fun, and they probably would have censored a letter like that. And he did say he was kidding and he thought it was good.

Coda just took off from what Gibs did.

It's all in fun, Dodger, and I agree: it was good stuff.

[_Seth_]

Good writing, Dogder! Looking forward to more letters from the deep, blue sea!

PS: Even when we have fun with things here on subsim, we never forget the dedication and seriousness in the topics & threads. I think you did a great job on that letter, keep 'em coming! Its just that some of us have been to sea for a looong time, and when we finally reach port, we have to "blow of some steam"! Thank god for Kaleun Gizzmoe; without him we would have some pretty seriouse "virtual-fist-fights" here! :yep:

[Hybris]

My Dearest Kim,

I don't think I could have drawn a worse assignment then this. I can't give details of course but I'm now commanding a prototype U-boat that is set to be released into full service in either '44 or '45, It is almost as beautiful as you my love with its sleek lines and a little over two dozen eels. Despite the new boat I didn't have enough men for the first patrol and now we are back at dock I seemingly blink before I have my weapons officer Hanz you remember him from last christmas wakeing me up to talk with Uncle Donitz about one thing or another. This is a war I think we won't win but none the less I will fight to keep you and Germany safe not the Nazi's... Germany safe, let my parents know that I am well. Please stay safe so that I will always come back.

Your Love,
Sr. Liteutenant Cope

Will this past the censoring?:lol:

[Cdre Gibs]

Ministary of Propoganda
Letter cencored

My Dearest Kim,

I don't think I could have drawn a ------------ then this. I can't give details of course but I'm now ----------- a ------------- that is set to be -----------------
-------------------. It is almost as beautiful as you my love with its sleek lines and a little over -----------. Despite the -------- I didn't have ---------- for the --------- and now we are -------- I seemingly blink before I have my ----------------- you remember him from last christmas wakeing me up to talk with -------- about one thing or another. This is a war I think ---------- but none the less I will fight to keep you and Germany safe -----------------, let my parents know that I am well. Please stay safe so that I will always come back.

Your Love,
Sr. Liteutenant Cope

Memo to BdU:
Sr. Liteutenant Cope seems to lack self disapline and has a tendency to flout KM Security measures. Please address this issue promtly.

In Confidance:
Memo to Gestapo:
Sr. Liteutenant Cope must be investigated. He shows a distinct lack of respect and loyalty to the Party. Its strongly recommended that the Underseaboot arm of the KM be thourghly checked for malcontents and unofficial Party doctrine. They seem to think they are above the Party and an example must be made.


(keep em coming guys, I wonder what it would take to get past the Ministary of Propoganda - :lol: )

[_Seth_]

My dearest Lulu


Im fine. All is good. Im treated well, and im eating good. Im proud to be a German submariner, and we are going to win this war. We will be doing war-related stuff sometime in the future, but i dont know where. I dont know where i am, or what my job is. But its a lot of fun. I hope this letter passes the Ministry of propaganda.

Your faithful love

Bernard Dummköpf

[bookworm_020]

Dear Bernard,

Have married Father,

Love

Mother

:o

[_Seth_]

Dear Bernard,

Have married Father,

Love

Mother

:o
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:....."He is also my brother, but you know that, son..."

[TarJak]

Ministary of Propoganda
(keep em coming guys, I wonder what it would take to get past the Ministary of Propoganda - :lol: )

Liebster Lili

Ich liebe dich und Hoffnung, dich bald zu sehen. Kann nicht zu viel sagen! Einige bummeln im Propagandaministerium willen keinen dobt Zensor dieses.

Deinen Willi lieben

[Hylander_1314]

Dearest Gert,

We are scheduled for a rest after this trip. How I long for the nights in the Alps as we sat by the fire enjoying our wine and fresh apples. Everything is moldy after a few days, even though it is the best that can be had.

The old hares do a good job of tending to the new boys, and our boat is quite well cared for by staff at base. I have recommended five of the men for medals, and Uncle Karl will see they rewarded.

How are your Mother and Father? We've heard of the bombing in Dusseldorf, and my first thoughts were of them. I received a short note from Heinz, as he's being promoted, and will go to Capitains School and then command of his own boat when they dock after this patrol.

We should be done soon, and I will then have a 30 to 40 day leave, as we're supposed to get a new and better boat fresh from the builders, with many new features. I hope they have proper heating in the new boat, as the colder water up north makes the boat very uncomfortable, as you are constantly numb from the lack of heat. I hear the Americans have many luxuries for their crews, and find myself rather envious of them at those times when it's so cold.

I've found a nice bottle of French Champagne dated 1925, and have sent it home for us when I get there. I'll see if I can get those things for you and the children that you requested, but there have been some restrictions on commerce due to shortages, and don't know for sure what will be available.

Tell the children we will soon be a family again, at least for a while. And for you my darling, I wish this wretched war over so we wouldn't have to apart for so long.

Yours truely,

Wilhelm

[Hybris]

Ministary of Propoganda
Letter cencored

My Dearest Kim,

I don't think I could have drawn a ------------ then this. I can't give details of course but I'm now ----------- a ------------- that is set to be -----------------
-------------------. It is almost as beautiful as you my love with its sleek lines and a little over -----------. Despite the -------- I didn't have ---------- for the --------- and now we are -------- I seemingly blink before I have my ----------------- you remember him from last christmas wakeing me up to talk with -------- about one thing or another. This is a war I think ---------- but none the less I will fight to keep you and Germany safe -----------------, let my parents know that I am well. Please stay safe so that I will always come back.

Your Love,
Sr. Liteutenant Cope

Memo to BdU:
Sr. Liteutenant Cope seems to lack self disapline and has a tendency to flout KM Security measures. Please address this issue promtly.

In Confidance:
Memo to Gestapo:
Sr. Liteutenant Cope must be investigated. He shows a distinct lack of respect and loyalty to the Party. Its strongly recommended that the Underseaboot arm of the KM be thourghly checked for malcontents and unofficial Party doctrine. They seem to think they are above the Party and an example must be made.


(keep em coming guys, I wonder what it would take to get past the Ministary of Propoganda - :lol: )

They'll have to drag me out of my XXI first!:lol: That is if they can find me that is.:ping:

A month later...

My Dearest Kim

Today I'm receving a great honor from BdU after saving the top brass from the Gestapo despite being surrounded by the torpedo boats and destoryers that had shot down their plane. As part of the reward I'm going to meet the Furher and guess what? I'll be in the capital for a week so I get to see you again. I must go now Bernard just got stuck in the torpedo tube... again.

Your Love
Cpt. Cope

How's that for the Gestapo!

[HunterICX]

Dear Bernard,

Its a long time since you screwed with us.
the crew and I dont miss you at all...we still wish you dead, remember that time we had the Tanker lined up perfectly I orderd to Fire tube 1/3 , but you launched the torpedo in tube 5!!!!!!, because of you the Escorts detected us!
We're were pissed off because of you!, so we decided to releaf the radio man so he could get some rest and put you there....you got an radio contact unidentified but you told the navigator it must be a big ship...so we high tailed ourself there for a bloody Fishing boat!!! we spended too much diesel on that one. we couldnt get to the grid anymore and return to base afterwards so we had to decide what to do...we fired you off the radio station and we putted you in the Elec. Engine compartment...we spotted an Large Cargo so we decided to dive...we were detected by one of the airplanes that was flying nearby and we crash dive but at the sudden you got a smart Idea by pushing the screwdriver into an empty Lightbulb entry....you blew up most of the security fuses in the Sub. keeping us dead in the water recieving mayor damage from the Depth bombs.
We still didnt hurt you, but we started to hate you very very much. The navigator got ill for a while so we decided to put you in his place. you didnt do much but at the sudded we noticed that we got it cold very very cold....I went on the bridge to see what was wrong. you send us the wrong ****ing way!!!!! you got us near antartica for crying out loud!!! now we didnt have enough fuel to get back to base!!!! at the way home we left you locked up in the Bow torpedo room we tied your hands so you couldnt screw anything up. we where heading back to base on the right course but 100 km from base I had to send an Emergency report so someone could pick us up...after 9 hours the Trawler arived to pull us back to base...we didnt know what happend but at the sudden you managed to slam ur head on the Fire Torpedo button giving the trawler the 4 Eels Surprise package up his ass! I didnt hesitate , I went to my Room opened the vault picked the Ludger went to the torpedo room and shot you in the chest 4 times , 3 times on ur knees and 2 in each hand of yours. we tought you where dead. you're were still alive...at that moment the crew knew you where Hell itself....we got back to base. I got took a full beating from the BDU how in hells name we sunk that trawler...I explained everything. but it didnt save me...I lost all my awards and fame . I got downgraded from an VIIC type to an IIA type. I lost most of my crew because they had an traumatic experience and they where sended to an Hospital for the mental diseased....all because of YOU!!! BERNAARD!

Dont get well , and please do the German Navy a pleasure an jump from the roof.

HunterICX
Commander of the U-9

Adress: Kriegsmarine Hospital
52103 Lorient
2nd Flotilla

[Cdre Gibs]

Ministary of Propoganda
Letter cencored

Liebster Lili

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------.

Deinen Willi lieben

Memo to BdU:
Deinen Willi lieben - NO RECORD FOUND. Letter cencored. Suspect under survalliance

In Confidance:
Memo to Gestapo:
Deinen Willi lieben - Suspected spy. Letter seems to be a cypted msg of some sort. Have CENCORED the letter but have forward the content on to Gestapo HQ. Its strongly recommended that he be brought in for questioning.

[Cdre Gibs]

Ministary of Propoganda
Letter cleared.

My dearest Lulu


Im fine. All is good. Im treated well, and im eating good. Im proud to be a German submariner, and we are going to win this war. We will be doing war-related stuff sometime in the future, but i dont know where. I dont know where i am, or what my job is. But its a lot of fun. I hope this letter passes the Ministry of propaganda.

Your faithful love

Bernard Dummköpf

Memo to BdU
Bernard Dummköpf - Represents a Fine example of an upstanding Germanic Soldier and an Ideal German. We recommend him for a commendation.

[Cdre Gibs]

Ministary of Propoganda
Letter cleared.

Dear Bernard,

Have married Father,

Love

Mother


Memo to BdU.
Since Bernard Dummköpf is such a Fine example of German Pride we feel that its appropreate that on such a grand day as this he be given a 48Hour Shore leave pass to travel home for the happy ocassion.

[Cdre Gibs]

Ministary of Propoganda
Letter cencored

Dearest Gert,

We are scheduled for a rest after this trip. How I long for the nights in the Alps as we sat by the fire enjoying our wine and fresh apples. Everything is -------------- days, even though it is the best that can be had.

The old hands do a good job of tending to the new boys, and our boat is quite well cared for by staff at base. I have recommended five of the men for medals, and Uncle Karl will see they rewarded.

How are your Mother and Father? We've heard of the ---------------, and my first thoughts were of them. I received a short note from Heinz, as he's being promoted, and will go to ----------------- and then -------------- when they ------- this ------.

We should be done soon, and I will then have a 30 to 40 day leave, as we're supposed to get a -----------------, with --------------. I hope they have ------------ in the -------, as the colder water ------- makes the -----------, as you are constantly -----------------. I hear the -------------------, and find myself rather -------------------------------.

-------------------------------------------------, and have sent it home for us when I get there. -------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------.

Tell the children we will soon be a family again, at least for a while. And for you my darling, I wish this --------------- so we wouldn't have to apart for so long.

Yours truely,

Wilhelm


Memo to BdU:
Wilhelm - Please supply the Last name and Boat of this sender.

In Confidance:
Memo TO Ordnungspolizei
Wilhelm - Additional information has been requested of BdU on this indurvidual. Hes suspected of being involved Contraban/Smuggling.

Memo to Gestapo:
Wilhelm - Additional information has been requested of BdU on this indurvidual. More flagrant flouting of Part doctrine. He shows a distinct symapthay to decadent american standards. The KM, it would seem, may need an intensive shake up.

[Cdre Gibs]

Ministary of Propoganda
Letter cencored

My Dearest Kim

Today I'm receving a great honor from BdU after -------------------------------
-------- despite being surrounded by the torpedo boats and destoryers that had shot down their plane. As part of the reward I'm going to ---------- and guess what? I'll be in the capital for a week so I get to see you again. I must go now Bernard just got stuck in the torpedo tube... again.

Your Love
Kpt. Cope

Memo to BdU
Kpt. Cope - How is it that this man, under investigation, has been promoted from Sr. Liteutenant to Kpt. No 1 person is above the Party Line, regardless of circumstances. We strongly protest this matter and have forwarded it to a higher authority.

Memo to Getapo
Kpt. Cope - At this stage in time we recommend that all further investigation in to this man be suspended. We would suggest that you wait untill public awarness has droped over this unfortunate and embarressing matter and then, when he least expect's it, make him disappear.

[Cdre Gibs]

Dear Bernard,

Its a long time ---- you -- with us.
The crew and I -- miss you --------------------------------------------------------
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HunterICX
-------------------

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Memo to BdU
HunterICX - This would have to be with out a doubt the worst case of service rilvalry that has ever crossed my desk. The amount of dicontent this officer has shown to a fellow member of the KM is appawling. We rcommend immediate displinary action on this matter and a reduction in senoroity for 2 years.

[SteamWake]

Memo to BdU
HunterICX - This would have to be with out a doubt the worst case of service rilvalry that has ever crossed my desk. The amount of dicontent this officer has shown to a fellow member of the KM is appawling. We rcommend immediate displinary action on this matter and a reduction in senoroity for 2 years.

That will teach you to dis Bernard !

LOL this thread cracks me up. Keep it up !

[_Seth_]

Dear Bernard,

Its a long time since you screwed with us.
the crew and I dont miss you at all...we still wish you dead, remember that time we had the Tanker lined up perfectly I orderd to Fire tube 1/3 , but you launched the torpedo in tube 5!!!!!!, because of you the Escorts detected us!
We're were pissed off because of you!, so we decided to releaf the radio man so he could get some rest and put you there....you got an radio contact unidentified but you told the navigator it must be a big ship...so we high tailed ourself there for a bloody Fishing boat!!! we spended too much diesel on that one. we couldnt get to the grid anymore and return to base afterwards so we had to decide what to do...we fired you off the radio station and we putted you in the Elec. Engine compartment...we spotted an Large Cargo so we decided to dive...we were detected by one of the airplanes that was flying nearby and we crash dive but at the sudden you got a smart Idea by pushing the screwdriver into an empty Lightbulb entry....you blew up most of the security fuses in the Sub. keeping us dead in the water recieving mayor damage from the Depth bombs.
We still didnt hurt you, but we started to hate you very very much. The navigator got ill for a while so we decided to put you in his place. you didnt do much but at the sudded we noticed that we got it cold very very cold....I went on the bridge to see what was wrong. you send us the wrong ****ing way!!!!! you got us near antartica for crying out loud!!! now we didnt have enough fuel to get back to base!!!! at the way home we left you locked up in the Bow torpedo room we tied your hands so you couldnt screw anything up. we where heading back to base on the right course but 100 km from base I had to send an Emergency report so someone could pick us up...after 9 hours the Trawler arived to pull us back to base...we didnt know what happend but at the sudden you managed to slam ur head on the Fire Torpedo button giving the trawler the 4 Eels Surprise package up his ass! I didnt hesitate , I went to my Room opened the vault picked the Ludger went to the torpedo room and shot you in the chest 4 times , 3 times on ur knees and 2 in each hand of yours. we tought you where dead. you're were still alive...at that moment the crew knew you where Hell itself....we got back to base. I got took a full beating from the BDU how in hells name we sunk that trawler...I explained everything. but it didnt save me...I lost all my awards and fame . I got downgraded from an VIIC type to an IIA type. I lost most of my crew because they had an traumatic experience and they where sended to an Hospital for the mental diseased....all because of YOU!!! BERNAARD!

Dont get well , and please do the German Navy a pleasure an jump from the roof.

HunterICX
Commander of the U-9

Adress: Kriegsmarine Hospital
52103 Lorient
2nd Flotilla


:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:I P*SS MYSELF!!!!! ROFL!!!!!! INSANELY GOOD!!!!!!! THATS THE BEST I'VE EVER READ!!!!!!! HUNTERICX: YOU ARE THE MAN!!!!!!!!!

[HunterICX]

Thank you Seth, I was at work wich i had a rather boring hour of doing nothing ,so i wrote this nice letter.

Also I pissed myself laughing when I pictured the scene where the Herrkaleun goes to his fault picked the Ludger , and shot bernard straigh away just imagine urself as one of the crew member in front of the door to the Torpedo room...you would see the Herrkaleun going inside with his ludger and you're thinking ow crap he really done it now....and then PANG PANG PANG PANG PANG PANG!!! THERE BERNARD HOW YOU LIKE THAT YOU CRUBLIM PIECE OF AMPHIBIAN SH!T!:rotfl:


Just a warning seth, more to come soon.

[_Seth_]

Thank you Seth, I was at work wich i had a rather boring hour of doing nothing ,so i wrote this nice letter.

Also I pissed myself laughing when I pictured the scene where the Herrkaleun goes to his fault picked the Ludger , and shot bernard straigh away just imagine urself as one of the crew member in front of the door to the Torpedo room...you would see the Herrkaleun going inside with his ludger and you're thinking ow crap he really done it now....and then PANG PANG PANG PANG PANG PANG!!! THERE BERNARD HOW YOU LIKE THAT YOU CRUBLIM PIECE OF AMPHIBIAN SH!T!:rotfl:


Just a warning seth, more to come soon.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: :up::up::up: Keep 'em coming!!!!!

[HunterICX]

like I promised at this moment another hour without something to do so.

this is about Bernards Diary,

Dear Diary,

I,m having good fun on this submarine wich HunterICX commands. the U-9 VIIC type. I really like al those shiny buttons and especialy the big red one nearby the Tubes Door system. Someday I will be pressing those. after a week of a rather boring patrol I managed to kill time by playing with the lights switch turning it off and on all the time, untill it blew up and the Herrkaleun told me to knock it off. when the watch discovered an Tanker we had to go battlestations.I was next the weapon officer and he told me that I had to press the Fire Torpedo button when he gave the order...it was like my dream came true. everything was setted HunterICX told to open door 1 and 3...but I didnt like the number 13 so I opened Number 5 , number 5....that number gives me good memory's I was born on the 5th, got my first kick under the ass on the 5th, I joined the german navy on the 5th , failed my submarine exam 5 times, I had done 5 training session in an IIA U-5 ...oooooh...number 5...I was drooling so when the Weapon Officer said Fire!!! I pussed the big red button it was like I was cumming in my pants....a heavy orgasm indeed because my underwear was soaked...after 2 minutes the captain gave me a slap in the neck pulled me and yelled at me ''YOU IDIOT YOU FIRED THE WRONG TUBE NOW WE ARE DETECTED!!!!....He pulled me by the hair and pulled me to the radio station...the radio man got his rest and I sat their for 35 hours doing nothing untill I heared BEEP BEEP BEP BEEP BEEP BEPPERDEBEEP....a contact message of a ship...it must be huge because of the amounts of beeps it gave so I ran to the navigator excited that this ship must be a big juicy target..the navigator calculated and said that it will take 9 hours on full speed....we were all waiting to shoot that ship down to the bottom...when we arrived at the intercept point we saw that beautifull..........fishing ship...it was my first ship that I had spotted with the radio contact so I was waiting for a ''Congratz Bernard reply from my dear friends'' ....but what I got was a full flame in the face by the captain yelling at me that because of me we waisted too much Diesel....he grabbed me by the neck pulling me into the empty elec.engines compartment and he told me too clean it...the equipment and the tools....I spend 21 hours cleaning and was cleaning an screwdriver....I heard that we we're diving so crew entered the elec.engine compartment starting to launch up the batteries and the engines...I saw the light which I was toying with at the beginning on the patrol...the bulb was gone...but I though...would this screwdriver give light if I pushed it into it? but first I heared that we had to crashdive...well , thats something I had done an couple of times...so I continued with my master Experiment...I pushed the screwdriver in to the socket of the light and I heard a loud ''PAT!!!'' all the lights whent out the engine died...and I heard a loud scream ''BERNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!!!!!!'' HunterICX entered the room and he looked like he could kill me...I also felt that way so I wet my pants and started to cry...he yelled at me about the fuses I blew up and the damages we're about to take from an airplane...and just when he said that the sub started to shake, we we're falling on the ground , water came in from all dirrections.....I fainted....when I woke up. HunterICX was next to me saying...the Navigator is sick, so you are going to take his position wich I think cant include your stupidity. I looked on the map and saw that we where heading grid BE...I didnt like B/E it sounded like Bacon and Eggs...wich I hate...so I decided to head north...as far as we can...I wanted to see polarbears...ofcourse I didnt told nobody that...I told HunterICX after passing Iceland that I was going on watch so nobody could see where we were going...I wanted to see polarbears and I wanted to see the crew's faces when they also see one...beautifull creaters they are. I was alone in the tower with the map and gave dirrection to the guys beneath me....It was going well my expedition but HunterICX knocked onto the Tower Door saying ''LET ME UP BERNARD ITS GETTING COLD IN HERE!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!'' I was afraid because I havent seen an polarbear yet!!!! OMG!!!!...I opened the door with my hands shaking when he came up...he looked around without saying nothing ''those moments I,m scared to death because you never know what he might going to do with me'' he turned to me...his eyes where raining fire...everything in front of my eyes whent black...I woke up noticing my hands are tied up....he locked me in the bow torpedo.....I cant tell about how long I have been locked up their...but after a long time I woke up hearing screws in front of me...I thought '' OMG ENEMY SHIP!!! AND HUNTERICX HASNT NOTICED IT , NOBODY IS HERE TO FIRE THE TORPEDO'S !!!! it must be close about 300 - 400 meter close enough for the torpedo's to explode.. I HAD TO SAVE THIS SUBMARINE I HAD TO SAVE MY BELOVED FRIENDS!!!! So I managed to use my head for the first time in my life...I managed to set it on an Salvo Fire of 4 torpedo's and then I gave a hard slam on that big shiny button and the torpedo's where off to sink that pesky brit....I heard 4 loud explosion and cracking...the ship sunk directly! I was a HEROOOO!!! I waited 1 minute I knew that hunterICX was going to give me a knights cross for this one....but I heard something completly different I hear the crewmembers saying ''Dont Do It HunterICX....I know he can be very anoying..I know he screws up but dont do this'' ''Comon HunterICX I know Bernard went too far on this one but what you're going to do is going to cost ur reputation'' I heard loudly HunterICX yelling ''I DONT ****ING CARE!!! HE HAS TO BE GONE!!! THIS IS A REAL NIGHTMARE FOR THE GERMAN NAVY!!! AND I,M ABOUT TO GET RID OF IT!!!!'' I heard the door opening and saw HunterICX his face looked like that one from a Madman..I looked at his hand and he had his Ludger...Ow No !!! he's Going to kill me!!! I received bullets everywhere I heard him screaming to me and he laughed ...but that stopped when I opened my eyes...''THIS CANT BE HAPPENING!!!'' the crew entered the room and looked at me with fear...they mumbles about ''He's straight from hell , giving us bad luck ow no....'' I heard panic going around the submarine...but I fainted because of the loss of blood.....I woke up 6 weeks later in an hospital...I was alive.

this was my ''5''th patrol, numberrrrr 5

ps. I received a nice ''Get well soon card'' from HunterICX in his new submarine an IIA type sub. the U-2

ps2. I hope he will be good friends with my Twin brother Bernard whois also an sailor on the U-2.

Bernard Dummkopf.
Bye Bye Diary

[_Seth_]

@ HunterICX: :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:Fraking awesome!!!!!!!!!!! You are good at this, mate!!!!!!!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!!! :rotfl: Kudos kudos kudos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SteamWake]

@ HunterICX: :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:Fraking awesome!!!!!!!!!!! You are good at this, mate!!!!!!!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!!! :rotfl: Kudos kudos kudos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It would be even better if it had paragraphs... phew that was a tough read. But funny.

[U-104]

"ps2. I hope he will be good friends with my Twin brother Bernard whois also an sailor on the U-2."
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

[Dodger01]

Oh crap, I've created a monster. :oops: :yep:

[Respenus]

@ HunterICX: :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:Fraking awesome!!!!!!!!!!! You are good at this, mate!!!!!!!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!!! :rotfl: Kudos kudos kudos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fraking? You wouldn't be a BSG fan, would you?

"ps2. I hope he will be good friends with my Twin brother Bernard whois also an sailor on the U-2."
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

:rock::rock::rock:

I must say, my first large uncottrolable laught since I read saw a picture in the Funny SH3 pictures thread where there was a similar issue.

I wonder how the ministry of propaganda would censure this one?

[_Seth_]

[quote=_Seth_]@ HunterICX: :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:Fraking awesome!!!!!!!!!!! You are good at this, mate!!!!!!!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!!! :rotfl: Kudos kudos kudos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fraking? You wouldn't be a BSG fan, would you?

:oops: Sorry, my mistake. "Im not going to that Frakin party" :rotfl:I ment Freaking...

[Respenus]

[quote=_Seth_]@ HunterICX: :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:Fraking awesome!!!!!!!!!!! You are good at this, mate!!!!!!!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!!! :rotfl: Kudos kudos kudos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fraking? You wouldn't be a BSG fan, would you?

:oops: Sorry, my mistake. "Im not going to that Frakin party" :rotfl:I ment Freaking...
Too bad them! :down:

Here's my attemp at letter writting: :shifty:

My darling Helga,

How much I wish I could be with you right now! But Fatherland calls and who are we to say to our dear Furer's call.

I'm stationed somewhere in Scandinavia and the city in which the port is situated is very nice. Warm and kindly. Me and my man are having great time here.

I have been given command of a new boat. Straight from the yards. A real beauty. With this kind of boats, that swine Churchil will have to hide in the little ****hold that is England (All British, PLZ do not kill me).

I have to go now, my the port master is already here to pick me up.

Have a great time, my dear Helga and I hope to see you soon, celebrating the victory of our Fatherland.

Your's truly,
Respenus

Cdre Gibs, could you PLZ "cenzor" mine! THX! :D

[HunterICX]

:up: Thx all who enjoyed the read.

Sorry for the dificulty , I should have made pharagraphs...I will.....

on the next one :arrgh!: ''Story of the U-2'' comming soon
stay tuned tomorow

[Hybris]

My dearest Kim

Since everything from my last patrol has died down I'm back to the sea but with a new found liking of the party they treated me well and let me keep my rank after showing me my letters to you.

No matter I promise to come back to you unless Bernard rams my boat again then well... I rather not say.

Your Love
Kpt. Cope

P.S
Heil Hitler!

[Dodger01]

You know, I started this thread in all seriousness, trying to post a patrol report that was creative and different, and I do appreciate those of you who recognised it -- thank you.

But it's taken on a life of it's own, and not a bad one! :smug:

Me likey.

[Hylander_1314]

Dodger,

Don't take things too seriously. It'll give you a coronary.

[Safe-Keeper]

But it's taken on a life of its own (...)Dear you,

All threads here take on a life of their own (most commonly by turning themselves into suggestion threads for Silent Hunter 4:p). Must be part of the forum's aura or something:yep:.

Your beloved me.

[Spellir_74]

Good thread.

Nicely played, Cdre Gibs

[Spellir_74]

&&&&&&


My beautiful Anitra,

I just got your letter.

I asked about your cousin's husband, Goldenberg. He was an editor of a weekly: 'der bigmouth troublemaker'. I can't find out any more; and
there's nothing I can do from the Navy anyway. His father was decorated in the previous war wasn't he? I wouldn't worry about it. These
things have a way of working themselves out. [modern edit could include " ... " there]

Regarding your other issue. Yes, I did read that "Long Legs Und Liquor" was shut down. But we all know it was a ses pit, so... But I do remember back in '33 when me and your brother use to stand out back and try to sneak in. Good times!

Speaking of your brother, can you find out if that land plot is still there? But don't trouble yourself over it; I'll ask him when I get there.

Same for your father... How is he? That's hard work he's doing there. But the men in your family have always been tanks.

See you soon. I love you, my beautiful.

Love,
Erich.

-----
Leutnant z.s
Erich Spellir
etc and sundry

&&&&&

[bookworm_020]

:up: Thx all who enjoyed the read.

Sorry for the dificulty , I should have made pharagraphs...I will.....

on the next one :arrgh!: ''Story of the U-2'' comming soon
stay tuned tomorow

Oh No!!! I cracked up laughing at your previous posts, and that a problem as I work in a library!!!

How come I've got a feeling that the good captain is going to be promoted to a garbage bin in the near future:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

[GT182]

SUBCOM North Atlantic to Allied Command:
We have intercepted numerous letters from German sailors to their loved ones. I must say that the war will not last long here at sea with some of them being on the German side. It seems they have a sailor on one of their TypeIIs by the name of Bernard that could be helping the Allied war effort. Even tho he's a complete idiot, if he is captured he is to be given the best of care, and to be well fed. He's sinking his own country's shipping. We need more like him by God. We need train him and send him back to the German Kreigsmarine post hast.

SUBCOM North Atlantic out.

[TarJak]

Ministary of Propoganda
Letter cencored

Liebster Lili

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------.

Deinen Willi lieben

Memo to BdU:
Deinen Willi lieben - NO RECORD FOUND. Letter cencored. Suspect under survalliance

In Confidance:
Memo to Gestapo:
Deinen Willi lieben - Suspected spy. Letter seems to be a cypted msg of some sort. Have CENCORED the letter but have forward the content on to Gestapo HQ. Its strongly recommended that he be brought in for questioning.
Not code just plain simple German! For those unable to sprechen:

Dearest Lili

I love you and hope to see you soon. I cannot say too much! Some bugger in the propaganda Ministry will no doubt censor this.

Your dearest Willi

Mind you I'm sure the questioning will still happen!

[Hybris]

Lose lips sink U-boats:rotfl:

[HunterICX]

And here I go again,

The U-2 Story

HunterICX
U-2 Type IIA
5 September 1944

Whoever reads this must know that I wrote from an Mental Hospital.
Here's my story that became my downfall in my Uboat Career.

As because of Bernard Dummköpf, I lost everything I had.
My awards, My Rank most of my Crew, and my beloved U-9 VIIC submarine. He managed to survive the gun assault I gave him...and I wished I shot him in the head as soon as I met the bastard. So me and my crew where transfered to an new submarine an IIA U-2 and there where a couple of new sailors I had to met.

After the meeting we had an order to leave in 3 days.

The time had come...an new patrol BERNARD FREE AT LAST!!!!
we were sailing out of the harbour covering our hears because of that all-time the same tune the band plays that began to become extremly annoying.

Afte 1 hour we reached the Harbour exit. but in the sub something was itching in my neck because something wasnt right in here...1 of the sailor I met 3 days ago looked extremly familiar. the sailor was on the Radio position receiving the messages. I could think about it because I had to focus on the mission we had before us..it wouldnt be a big one because of the limitations the IIA give us. only 6 Eels. low fuel cargo.

The problems began when an H&K group came on our path we crash dived. everything went right..No asdic nothing...we had to be very silent. but at the sudden we heard a loud tune of the RIVERDANCE!!!! I ran into the Radio comparment saw the sailor dancing on the riverdance on max volume!!! I took the LP and smashed it into his mouth and told him to eat it! and after that to keep his mouth shut...but it was too late ''PINNGGGG'' PINGGGG'' ASDIC!!! I looked at the sailor very angry and went back into the command room...I told to dive to 180 meters...but I forgot...I,m in an IIA boat...120 would be the crush depth so I decided to go 100. but the Asdic continued followed by heavy Depthcharges around us...We got smashed from side to side.....after 7 hours of darkness and repairing the damages we moved away...after another 5 hours we didnt hear anything on the hydro and we surfaced.

Now on the surface it was time to find out who this idiot was...I grabbed him with my both hand and yelled ''Who ARE YOU!!!'' TELL ME UR NAME'' He told his name very cool...''Bernard Dummköpf the 2nd...the twi-i--i----inbrother of the fool I shot'' I didnt had my ludger anymore because the High order took it away from me. AAAAAAAAH!!!!! I knew I was screwed now...bad luck chased me everywhere.

Well lucky we hadnt much to do after meeting the H&K group, I left Bernard on the bridge together with the Watch officer. spotting things wasnt that Hard for an idiot like him...the WO jumped down from the ladder yelling AIRPLANES..ALAAARM ...bernard stayed up...I told him to get down , he got down and told there where 6 planes coming straight for us....so I ordered an Crash Dive...as soon the sub started to dive a huge splash of water fell into my neck...and it kept comming in?! HOW !!! HOW!! so I ordered to blow ballast and as soon as i Looked up the IDIOT BERNARD LEFT THE HATCH OPEN!!!!! we close it as fast as we could crash dived again...we crash dived with luck the bombs missed us by 50 meters...I was pissed of I I put my arms out to strangle Bernard but the crew hold me away from him. they tried to save my reputation before I did it again.

After 9 days on see we spotted our first target...I looked in the periscope and yes!!! an Passenger liner...we prepared the tubes...and where ready for combat...but I couldnt look and calculate the torpedo's at the same time...because the weapon officers was a new one and did paniced out..so I decided to let bernard to look...I told him to warn us when we are close enough..after 5 minutes he stared at throught the periscope...I told him ''Bernaard! How close are we'' He looked at me with that goofy smile of his...and said very very very verrrry close sir'' I said ''How Close???'' and after I said that BANG, BLOING, CLANG!!! the front torpedo room reported flooding so I hadnt had the time to think what could I do to this moron. after 4 hours we got everything repaired...I walked to bernard but he kept smiling...why did he smile? He said ''That Close Sire'' at this moment my mind exploded I wanted to kill that son of a bitch...but I couldnt....WeEeeEeeee...

5 days later, we where submerged I had to test the amount of time we could do with the air we have. Now to kept everyone busy a crate of beer for the Sailor...at the end a very bad idea. 2 hours later I noticed the lights going on and off...no explosion so we havent been attacked...I went to the elec.Engine compartment and saw the following thing ''BERNARD PISSING ON THE EQUIPMENT LAUGHING!!!'' I couldnt believe it!!! This was to much ... I started run and scream all the way to the bow torpedo room ''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah BOING!'' rammed my head full speed against the wall..Black Out.

the next days everything went wrong...I started to pull my hear out...Biting on my hand and ripping my clothes appart...and that bernard kept terrorizing me..he didnt stop...for crying out loud..I locked myself up in the toilet thinking whois fault is this , the navigator told that where close to base and that Doenitz and Hitler in person wanted to see me....and at the sudden I knew who's fault this is!!! Hitler's and Doenitz's fault!!! THEY ACCEPTED BERNARD IN THE NAVY!!! THEY PLACED HIM ON THE SUBS I OWNED!!!! HAHAHAHA I laughed like a crazy man. I ordered to go full speed back to base....I went on the bridge with a madmans grin on my face. I couldnt wait to see those 2 bastards.

When we docked and the bridge was lowered on I ran over it walked straight to Hitler and Doenitz and....


and.




and.






kicked them both in the balls! REAL HARD and LAUGHED ''YOU LIKE THAT!!! GIVING ME THE HORROR OF EVERY HERRKALEUN!!! NOW HERE!! !I GIVE YOU PAIN!!!! HAHAHA BLARBLABBLALALALBLALBLALBALA WHEHEHEHEEEEEEEEEEHHEHEHEHE WHOHAHAHA SLARSLARWWWEE I was losing my mind . and 5 military soldiers grabbed me and one slammed his club on my head and everything went black...

I woke up...dressed in white...my hand tied up in front of me in an special suit to keep me restrained....

HunterICX senteced for life in the Mental Hospital. Isolated in an special cell for never to be released

the Doctors stated ''the Bernard Syndrom''
and terrible incurable mental disease

[Sailor Steve]

But it's taken on a life of its own (...)Dear you,

All threads here take on a life of their own (most commonly by turning themselves into suggestion threads for Silent Hunter 4:p). Must be part of the forum's aura or something:yep:.

Your beloved me.
Are you suggesting that SH4 should have a letter-writing function added? Let's talk about that...

[Hybris]

But there is a cure for Bernard Syndorme... Knowing Bernards luck he will get command of a boat you must bribe a BdU clerk to send EVERYONE named Bernard in the whole U-boat fleet on to that boat. When they reach deep water you fire a full salvo of accusitic torpedos right into their engine room!:rotfl::rotfl:

[Respenus]

But there is a cure for Bernard Syndorme... Knowing Bernards luck he will get command of a boat you must bribe a BdU clerk to send EVERYONE named Bernard in the whole U-boat fleet on to that boat. When they reach deep water you fire a full salvo of accusitic torpedos right into their engine room!:rotfl::rotfl:

Possible! A type XXI with 6 of the best acustic fish! Fire! Dive like hell! And smile your ass off! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I can say for sure, everyone in the SH3 forums has the Bernard Syndrom. It all depends on the ammount. I believe that my weapons officer is Bernard!

I'm gonna rename my whole crew Bernard!

MUAHAHAHAHHA! DB SJDASKU$Z($#/$()# $="#/Q$"()Z#W(QRZR(OQR

*SLAP!!!*

Oh :oops:

Sorry guys, I'm near the late stage. It's just a matter of time :nope:

[Hybris]

*Man's quad flak gun*
You want me to put you out of your misery?:doh:

[John Pancoast]

Ministary of Propoganda
Letter cencored

Dearest Lili,

Do you remember how excited we were when I received my orders? Straight out of command school, and my own boat! We opened a bottle of wine, and had such an evening! They'd said that these -----------------------------------------------, that they would do the job as well as any. And I was just so happy to have a command that ----------------.

--- has just this -------- to the quay in ---, and I feel as if the life has been sucked out of me, bit by tiny bit. I don't think I got more than three hours in a row in my bunk over the last 10 days. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------. The crew, as good as they were, ---------------------------------------------- and we were ------- to sail with many ----------------------------- most of the time just to avoid ----------------. We had ---------------------------------------. It's a good thing the only -----------------------------.

It was the simple fact that my crew was a good ----------------------------------------. And me, to be honest. I found myself often ------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------, and they offered it easily.

But I still feel so ------------------, my sweet, and I am filled with such a deep desire to be next to you in our bed.

I've been told we'll -------------------------------, and that things should be --------------. As I write this, I sit in my small bunk as we --------------------, looking at your photo, and my heart ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------.

All my love,
Heinrich

Memo to BdU:
Kpt H Dodger seems to lack self disapline and has a tendency to flout KM Security measures. Please address this issue promtly.

In Confidance:
Memo to Gestapo:
Kpt H Dodger may need to be investigated.


(hehe just kidding matey, well done! :D )

Lol. Actually though, probably a more likely version :)

[Bernard Dummkopf]

Dear fellow Sailors,

I got a letter from Dönitz which authorizes me to visit each boat and to report from their war patrols. I am very happy to visit every boat and to help all out. The only strange thing about this is: the letter is signed by Dönitz but the letter paper has "SUBCOM North Atlantic" printed on it. But this is great news since the german navy now also seems to control SUBCOM.

See you soon on your boat!
Bernard Dummkopf

[danlisa]

Dear fellow Sailors,

I got a letter from Dönitz which authorizes me to visit each boat and to report from their war patrols. I am very happy to visit every boat and to help all out. The only strange thing about this is: the letter is signed by Dönitz but the letter paper has "SUBCOM North Atlantic" printed on it. But this is great news since the german navy now also seems to control SUBCOM.

See you soon on your boat!
Bernard Dummkopf

Noooooooooo! He's real:o

We can now expect weird/unexplaned happenings in this forum too.

(new member or old member/new name?:hmm: )

[Hybris]

Brace Yourselfs!

[Respenus]

*Man's quad flak gun*
You want me to put you out of your misery?:doh:
DO IT NOW!!!! Especially that Bernard himself has joined!!! :dead:

[mapuc]

Bernard may be an idiot in the eyes of the officers

But he's well-liked among the others why?

He knows where to get stuff and so on

parfume
Silk
a.s.o

Markus

[_Seth_]

SCHEISSE!!!!! IT'S ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE END OF SUBSIM!! :arrgh!:

[Respenus]

SCHEISSE!!!!! IT'S ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE END OF SUBSIM!! :arrgh!:

ALLLLLLLARMMMMMMM!!!!

[AVGWarhawk]

Simple way to rid of us Bernard, go out to sea with Bernard. Order him to check out the port screw as something seems to be wrong with it. Once Bernard is under begin your full ahead drills:D


Dear U-boat crews,

It is my pleasure to annouce that I'm now "Furher da U-Boot" as appointed by Hitler himself and Bernard Dummkopf will take up my old position at BDU. Please help me welcoming Bernard to his new duties. I believe his first order for the boats will be a wolf pack surrounding the island of Japan. Again, please welome Bernard and enjoy the sushi!

Donitz

[Hybris]

*Fires quad gun*
NOOOO! BERNARD YOU FILLED THE FLAK GUNS WITH BLANKS!:damn::damn:

[_Seth_]

Could someone tell Dowly that his son is about to torpedo Subsim.com? :rotfl:

[FIREWALL]

Dear Broomhildo DEC 1944

BREST FRANCE

Received your letter. Glad the milkman and butcher are making life
bearable. How about the baker and candlestick maker? They helping
out too?

Just received orders from Bdu. We are to pick up a case of french champane and bring it thru the english channel so the fuher can toast xmas.

We looked those order's over a few times and said " screw this"
We have a long range IXD42 were headed for sunny California " warm weather, hotter babes. Let those idiots at Bdu " win the war ".

So good luck and a parting wave to you and your town merchants

" @@I@r "

Yours
Kapt. Gunther Hindlick

P.S. I sent a letter to the Gestapo and said your all a bunch a spies
for England.













You

[bookworm_020]

Can I chage my sig and avatar name to Bernard????:88) I would love to see the response from all the members!:o

[FIREWALL]

Can I chage my sig and avatar name to Bernard????:88) I would love to see the response from all the members!:o


I think someone beat you to it. See page 3. :huh:

[Bernard Dummkopf]

SCHEISSE!!!!! IT'S ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE END OF SUBSIM!! :arrgh!:
Thank you all for the warm and heartly welcome! The good news is I've been assigned to the norwegian wolfpack to help Seth out, since something is alive there.

Respectfully
Bernard D.

[Bernard Dummkopf]

Can I chage my sig and avatar name to Bernard????:88) I would love to see the response from all the members!:o

Dear bookworm_020 no need to impersonate me. I'm already here to help you all out and make sure TONIGHT OUR U-BOATS TAKE OVER THE WORLD (quiet tentakle, quiet! sorry just some voices in my head).

Your helping hand.
Bernard D.

[_Seth_]

SCHEISSE!!!!! IT'S ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE END OF SUBSIM!! :arrgh!:
Thank you all for the warm and heartly welcome! The good news is I've been assigned to the norwegian wolfpack to help Seth out, since something is alive there.

Respectfully
Bernard D.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGG!!!!!!!!!!! :rotfl:

[Mr.Fleck]

SCHEISSE!!!!! IT'S ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE END OF SUBSIM!! :arrgh!:
Thank you all for the warm and heartly welcome! The good news is I've been assigned to the norwegian wolfpack to help Seth out, since something is alive there.

Respectfully
Bernard D.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGG!!!!!!!!!!! :rotfl:

Seth we will miss you! Farewell to your never-to-return-patrol! Any last words? ;)

Cheers
Mr. Fleck

[mapuc]

Can I chage my sig and avatar name to Bernard????:88) I would love to see the response from all the members!:o

Dear bookworm_020 no need to impersonate me. I'm already here to help you all out and make sure TONIGHT OUR U-BOATS TAKE OVER THE WORLD (quiet tentakle, quiet! sorry just some voices in my head).

Your helping hand.
Bernard D.

Dear Bernard D

Should any of your friends be nasty against you, the SPABB* is there for you

*Subsim Player Against Bullying of Bernard

Markus

[Hybris]

Dear Kim,

As I write this letter me and my men aboard the U-17 are letting our families know that we may not be coming back from this next patrol. New favorite with the big wigs has come aboard his name is Bernard Dommkopf he is the devil worse then any destroyer or depth charge. In case if for one reason or another I don't make it I just want you to know that I love you and if I could have the honor of your hand in marriage.

If the worse happens tell my family I love them.

Your love,
Cpt. Cope

P.S Pray for us.

[_Seth_]

SCHEISSE!!!!! IT'S ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE END OF SUBSIM!! :arrgh!:
Thank you all for the warm and heartly welcome! The good news is I've been assigned to the norwegian wolfpack to help Seth out, since something is alive there.

Respectfully
Bernard D.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGG!!!!!!!!!!! :rotfl:
Seth we will miss you! Farewell to your never-to-return-patrol! Any last words? ;)

Cheers
Mr. Fleck

I have written my will. Everything i own, goes to subsim.com, including my girlfriend.. My last wish: A luger with one bullet! :rotfl:

[Hybris]

"A fine way to get us killed."
~Willembrock U-96~