Bernard....Could live

[Hakahura]

Hi Everyone

Just had a crazy thought... "The Bernard Mod".

Once installed you are given Bernard as a member of your crew! Where do you put him? Reflecting the radom events of SH3 Commander 2.6, put Bernard in the torpedo room and whoosh, for no apparent reason a fish launches! You get the idea, but the guys got limitless energy put him in crew quarters and he reasigns himself to the helm!

Oh no you can't dismiss or transfer him, Bdu are glad to send him to sea where he can't flood a dry dock in port! Your stuck with the guy!

Anyone want to give this a go? Or preferably give me some tips on how to do this?

We've all had a good laugh at the guy now the ultimate challenge....

Take him to sea with you!

[Dowly]

If there ever will be a mod like this, I will use it in WaW

0011 04DEC1941

FDU

S.O.S.

BERNARD TAKING A SHOWER. AFT QUARTERS FLOODING. SINKING. S.O.S.

U-#

:rotfl:

[Torvald Von Mansee]

Heh. If Bernard were someplace you could see him (i.e., bridge or control room), perhaps he'd do silly things?

[The Noob]

Great!:rotfl::D

[Hakahura]

Great I'm not the only one who gets this.

Yes If I had my way he would show up on the manifest f7 screen. You would have to put him where he could the least damage at that time. Maybe you could get through a patrol without incident maybe not.

Now does anybody have a clue as to how to create this guy?

From all the pics and posts I've seen on Subsim I'm sure many Captains would be prepared to enlist him for a least one patrol.

[_Seth_]

Excellent idea!!!!!! Modders, go to work!! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

[stabiz]

:huh: My worst fear may come alive.

[HunterICX]

Well I know exactly where to put him in early war

that in the Radio Seat, he cant do sh!t there because there is noting to do then accepting incomming messages....and play the Gramophone...but still.....if I have an DD close by and he pumps up the volume to the max..the DD might hear through their Hydro's ''OOOOOW DEUTSCHLAND SCHÖNE DEUTSCHLAND!!! ICH LIEBE MEIN LAND OOOOW DEUTSCHLAND!!!!'':huh:

[_Seth_]

Well I know exactly where to put him in early war

that in the Radio Seat, he cant do sh!t there because there is noting to do then accepting incomming messages....and play the Gramophone...but still.....if I have an DD close by and he pumps up the volume to the max..the DD might hear through their Hydro's ''OOOOOW DEUTSCHLAND SCHÖNE DEUTSCHLAND!!! ICH LIEBE MEIN LAND OOOOW DEUTSCHLAND!!!!'':huh:


:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

[enaceo]

It would be great if this mod would be created ...
I'd love to actually have bernard on my boat!Now I could really blame him for all the sh** that happens :D

[Biggles]

Um.....who is......Bernard?:hmm:

[enaceo]

Um.....who is......Bernard?:hmm:
You don't know who Bernard is ?HOW COULD YOU ??!11!!!/??
Now seriously, Bernard was first ... "invented" by Dowly .He used him as someone to blame for all the stupid things that happened in the funny screenshots.
Now ,we are all blaming him for all the stupid things that happen (ramming ships while under water / firing torpedoes by mistake / destroying friendly ships...)

[Bezoomney]

Yes, yes indeed great idea.

BUT........ can I shoot him??

[enaceo]

That would be cheating :D
And sadly,you can't man the flack gun and have someone on the bridge at the same time :(

[Dowly]

Yes, yes indeed great idea.

BUT........ can I shoot him??

I´m sure that Bernard has been executed atleast 50 times already, but the bstard just keeps coming back. :nope:

[Biggles]

Allright allright, I get the picture, but look at my post-history okay? 7(8) posts total:nope:

[HunterICX]

:nope: No no No No .... doesnt matter the few post the first you have too look for.
Whois Bernard!

or else you piss off Dowly ;)

[GakunGak]

Imagine you are runing silent. And Bernard is at the helm. Then you look at the speedmeter and it says AHEAD FLANK. "We have been detected, sir."
"Bernard, this is your last patrol. Hans, get me my luger!!!":yep: :up: :rock:

That mod would be the most downloaded after GW.
BTW, how do you do those pics 'bout Bernard? Is it a game bug or you edit pics?:doh: :stare: :88)

[Hakahura]

Sorry Hunter ICX, but the way I see it if Bernards manning the radio....

What if your tracking a convoy for intercept? Just using hydrophones, dolphining up and down about 15 to 20 Km away just out of detection, now Bernard decides to send a status report to Bdu...... surprise you just got DF'd. Not so covert now!

Or maybe he just calls up that Somers Destroyer for a chat about the weather!:rotfl:

I'm glad lots of you also find this idea amusing, it would be really fun, however does anybody know where to start?

Remember :yep: nothings impossible.:yep:

[bookworm_020]

Knowing my luck, I'd be given 3 Bernard's:o

With this mod could you load them into torpedo tubes and fire them against the enemy?? So, it's against the Geneva convention, but this is unresticed warfare!!

[Safe-Keeper]

Um.....who is......Bernard?:hmm:
Our Idiot Mascot:cool:.

[stabiz]

B-astard
E-xtremely stupid
R-etarded
N-00b
A-hole
R-oyal arse
D-imwitted beyond state of the art dimwitting measuring tools

[mr chris]

B-astard
E-xtremely stupid
R-etarded
N-00b
A-hole
R-oyal arse
D-imwitted beyond state of the art dimwitting measuring tools

:rotfl: :rotfl: You should put that on a t-shirt and sell it :rotfl: :rotfl:

[Torvald Von Mansee]

What would be Bernard's last name? Or surname, if you use that term.

EDIT: Oh, and another thing: if you use Bernard, you really should get some sort of bonus on renown for having had to deal w/him. And if it were possible to have him as an NCO or officer, the bonus should be even larger.

[stabiz]

They could include him in the sh3 commander sabotage thingy. Weapons check okay, crash dive okay, rudders okay. hmmm ... I seem to be good to go.

"Hello, herr Kaleun!"
"Scheisse!"

Btw, Bernards last name should be Hellheimer.

[bookworm_020]

B-astard
E-xtremely stupid
R-etarded
N-00b
A-hole
R-oyal arse
D-imwitted beyond state of the art dimwitting measuring tools

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Can Bernard have this written on the back of his shirt???

[Bezoomney]

Maybe we can launch him from Rohr eins. :up:

No no, bad idea. He'd probably make a circular run......

[_Seth_]

What would be Bernard's last name? Or surname, if you use that term.

EDIT: Oh, and another thing: if you use Bernard, you really should get some sort of bonus on renown for having had to deal w/him. And if it were possible to have him as an NCO or officer, the bonus should be even larger.

Dummkopf, Bernard Dummkopf.

[Biggles]

Bah, we should put him in the bed with the captains daughter (early in the morning:) )