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View Full Version : How to Simulate Submarine Life


shegeek72
05-29-06, 02:50 AM
Obtain a dumpster. Paint it black, weld all the covers shut except one which can be bolted closed from the inside. Hitch it to the back of your wife's mini van. Gather 12 friends and bolt yourselves inside and let your wife pull it around for several weeks while she does the errands.
Sleep on the shelf in your closet. Replace the closet door with a curtain. Six hours after you go to sleep, have your wife whip open the curtain. shine a flashlight in your eyes, and mumble "Sorry, wrong rack".
Don't eat any food that you don't get out of a can or have to add water to.
Paint all the windows on your car black. Drive around town at high speeds with your wife standing up in the sunroof shouting course and speed directions to you.
Renovate your bathroom. Build a wall across the middle of your bathtub and move the shower head down to chest level. When you take showers, make sure you shut off the water while soaping.
Repeat back everything anyone says to you.
Sit in your car for six hours a day with your hands on the wheel and the motor running, but don't go anywhere.
Put lube oil in your humidifier instead of water and set it to "High".
Don't watch T.V. except movies in the middle of the night. Also, have your family vote on which movie to watch, then show a different one. Record The Sound of Music and show it at least every other night.
Don't do your wash at home. Gather your neighbors clothes along with yours, pick the most crowded laundromat you can find, and do the neighborhood laundry in a single washer and dryer. Make sure that 12% of the laundry is lost and 20% of the finished laundry is incorrectly distributed to the wrong neighbor.
continued...!

http://www.submarinestore.com/stories/facts-simulation.htm

http://users4.ev1.net/%7Etaragem/moon_sub3.jpg

VipertheSniper
05-29-06, 03:26 AM
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

kiwi_2005
05-29-06, 08:11 AM
Hehehe

John Channing
05-29-06, 05:18 PM
My favorite is...

Sit down at the Microwave and shout "Microwave manned". After staring at it for 6 hours stand up and shout "Microwave secure" and then go to bed.

JCC

Sailor Steve
05-30-06, 11:33 AM
Oldie but still a goodie.

STEED
05-30-06, 12:25 PM
:rotfl: :rotfl:

Dowly
05-30-06, 01:52 PM
Makes me laugh everytime I see this one! :up:

Sulikate
05-30-06, 05:37 PM
very funny one:rotfl:

Tim D
05-30-06, 07:47 PM
Somethings will never change in the good ole canoe club:arrgh!:

SkvyWvr
06-06-06, 01:01 PM
Somethings will never change in the good ole canoe club:arrgh!:

Just remember:
A Chief never drinks.
Should he drink he never gets drunk.
Should he get drunk he never staggers.
Should he stagger he never falls.
Should he fall he does so in a manner that hides his collar devices so passerbys mistake him for an Officer.:()1:

FesterShinetop
06-06-06, 01:20 PM
:rotfl:
Nice ones!