U-Boat Joke

[Mowgli]

A couple was touring a shipyard area in a coastal city of Italy when they saw a strange looking craft. They stopped and asked a worker, "Sir, is that a U-boat?
"No," he replied, shesa belonga to da goverment."

[HEMISENT]

Cool!
:up:

[jonsson]

:rotfl:

[Kaleun_Thomsen]

Q: How do you recognize an Italian made tank?



















A: It has one forward gear and four reverse.



:-j

[Christian Reich]

Q: How do you recognize an Italian made tank?



















A: It has one forward gear and four reverse.



:-j

hey at least that is step up from the french. They don't even have one forward gear.

[Zonked]

hey at least that is step up from the french. They don't even have one forward gear.

Why are the street's of France lined with tree's?









So the German's can march in the shade.

[Christian Reich]

ok most fogs speak english i believe, though the NEVEr want to admit it. if you want to trick them to speaking english do one of two things.

1. get them really drunk

2. tell your friend why all the streets in paris are lined with trees in earshot of said frenchman.

Bet he will start speaking english real fast

but ok as much fun as i make of them i love those little guys. i mean where would we be without french fries, and french toast?

[stratege]

>>>> AND FRENCH KISS !!!!!!!!!!

[Kalach]

but ok as much fun as i make of them i love those little guys. i mean where would we be without french fries, and french toast?

Hmmm, 'French' fries came from Belgium :P

[Christian Reich]

Did they really? i was just kidding. i thought they were an american invention...what being are love for fried food is.

"mmm this is fantastico, what is it?"

"boot deep fried"

[Justin Prince]

Why do credit cards not work in France?











Because they don't know how to say Charge.

[Christian Reich]

hehe i like that one.

[larsen]

Mmmm... Don't forget there's a good number of frogs (and italians I guess) in these forums. And as of the contribution of the french to the english language think "rendez-vous", "menage à trois", "french letter" and so on...

[Mowgli]

How do you sink an Italian submarine?

Swim down and knock on .the hatch.

[kholemann]

Why did the French build the maginot line?

So that the Germans could have high-quality headquarters far in the rear of their front lines.

[jonsson]

How do you sink an Italian submarine?

Swim down and knock on .the hatch.

How do you sink the same submarine again?

Knock on the hatch again, they will open and tell you they are not that stupid this time.

[Dowly]

How do you sink an Italian submarine?

Swim down and knock on .the hatch.

How do you sink the same submarine again?

Knock on the hatch again, they will open and tell you they are not that stupid this time.

Old, but good one. :D

[Dowly]

Kursk´s audion recorder caught this minutes before the explosion:

Captain: Is the new fire control Windows OS installed yet Comrade?
Seaman: Almost Sir. We just need to finish filling out the
registration card.
Captain: Excellent. Soon we will be able to point and click our
enemies into oblivion. [evil laughter in background]
Seaman: Comrade Captain! It is booting! Look, it says 'Preparing to
run Windows for the first time'. [long pause]
Seaman: Arrgh! Sir, it wants me to reboot again. That makes the 27th
time.
Captain: Hmmm. This is not encouraging. Go ahead and reboot again.

Seaman: Aye aye, Sir. [another long pause]
Seaman: Captain, it is up again. It says it found new hardware . . .
. A CD-ROM drive and that it needs drivers.
Captain: Where are the drivers?
Seaman: On the CD-ROM.
Captain: You are joking, no?
Seaman: No Sir.
Captain: Reboot the damn thing again. I am starting not to like this
Windows. [another long pause]
Seaman: Sir! It is back! It says it found the Gorby2000 Torpedo and
is looking for the device drivers. Do we have a driver disk?
Captain: I do not think so.
Seaman: I will tell it to use the default drivers. [another long
pause]
Seaman: Crap. It wants to reboot again.
Captain: How many times are we going to reboot today? This is taking
forever. Our hull is going to rust out before this works. [another
long pause]
Seaman: Sir! It is up and this time it is not asking for anything!
Captain: Really? No device drivers? No registration cards? No user
profiles?
Seaman: No Sir. I think it is ready.
Captain: Good work comrade. Now click on the fire control icon and
let us see how this works.
Seaman: Clicking now, Sir. [another long pause]
Captain: Why does the fire control screen have a dancing paper clip on
it?
Seaman: I have no idea Sir.
Captain: Hmmm, well try clicking on the menu.
Seaman: Aye aye, Sir. Let us see; Open E-mail, Spam a friend, Mail a
Virus, Fire a Torpedo . . . .
Captain: We will spam a friend later. L et us fire a torpedo.
Seaman: Aye aye, Sir. [another long pause]
Seaman: It is asking us to load the torpedo and to click when ready.
Captain: Torpedo room, load a torpedo in tube number 1!
Intercom: This is the Torpedo room. The torpedo is loaded Sir.
Captain: Click on the continue button.
Seaman: Aye aye, Sir. [another long pause]
Seaman: It is asking for a target Sir.
Captain: Hmmm, target the Rainbow Warrior.
Seaman: Aye aye, Sir. Damn! It says the torpedo is low on ink.
Captain: Click ignore. W e will get some ink when we return to base.
Seaman: Aye aye, Sir. We are ready to fire.
Captain: Very good. You may fire when ready comrade.
Seaman: Firing torpedo, Sir. [another really long pause]
Captain: Well?
Seaman: I am trying Sir. Nothing is happening. Wait a minute . . . .

[Loud explosion in the background]
Intercom: [Screaming]
Captain: What the **** was that?!?!?
Seaman: Captain! A new screen has appeared! It says, "Outlook
Express Fire Control has performed an illegal operation and will be shut
down. Click 'OK' to continue."
Seaman: Oh my God! The paper clip has died! What should I do?
Captain: Shut it down! Shut it down!
Seaman: It is not responding, Sir!
Captain: Try 'CTRL-ALT-DELETE'!
Seaman: Aye aye, Sir. . . . Sir! We are in luck! The task manager is
still operating. I am instructing the task manager to shut down Outlook
Fire Control. [another long pause]
Seaman: The task manager says "Outlook Fire Control not responding."
Captain: Well no ****. Tell it to "End Task".
Seaman: Nothing is happening Sir.
Captain: Try 'CTRL-ALT-DELETE' again.
Seaman: Aye aye, Sir. [sounds of frantic pecking on keyboard.]
Seaman: Oooh! What a pretty blue screen!
Captain: Holy $@#%! Not the blue screen of death
[Loud explosion heard]

End of recording.

[Marhkimov]

Dowly, ROFL :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

That was just too funny!