2024 Subsim Fantasy Football

[Gut Wrench]

IN IT'S 15TH YEAR, IT BEGINS...


Are you ready for some (make believe) football?

All right bitches, get ready for 17 of the most frustrating weeks you can ever imagine. Summer will be done and its time to get dirty on 4th and 25 and make believe your season can last longer than Aaron Rodgers Achilles heel (or his relationship with Danica Patrick.)


Yes, its time for some freaking Fantasy Football.


So we got some things we need to let you know about this year. With the American Labor Day holiday being Monday September 2 2024, the Commissioner is taking us....


to the Terceira Mar Hotel, on the Azores Island. (https://www.ticati.com/hotel/terceira-mar-hotel-115475/)


https://www.ticati.com/img/hotel/2830737s.jpg



...and at $3000 a night, we now know where all that hard earned championship money that Pioneer won last year went.


With the Labor day holiday falling early this year, that mean that Draft day is Saturday 31 August, 2024, at 0800 PDT. (USA Time)

That's an early draft day this year so don't get left behind because YOU didn't pre select your team before taking a flight.


The league is accepting expansion teams until August 30 2024, after which the league will be locked...and you'll have to buy your own tickets to see if the Drunk Monkeys can once again show they are the best damm 2-25 team in the world.

If you think you've big enough (foot) balls to go against the Best of Subsim, you want learn how to play, or you're just looking to get written about each week in the post match reports, click on the link and get ready to play fantasy football.

2024 Subsim Fantasy Football League (https://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/f1/679924/invitation?key=237fd6b7a56ac342&soc_trk=lnk&ikey=b4264bf938322b95).

[Gut Wrench]

IT'S DRAFT DAY...


Are you ready for some (make believe) football?

...and the first surprise of the year happens even before we get tot he draft.


Coach Casey has a new team.


Coach Casey has moved on from the the Guns of Hochuli and taken on a new team, Wasted Potential.


In a little over an hour, we'll see how the former Gunners coach and the new team performs.

[Gut Wrench]

DRAFT RESULTS...


Are you ready for some (make believe) football?

...and the first shocker of the year has already dropped.


The banter brigade has the first pick of the draft, but it was the Who Dat Nation who came out of the draft with the best looking team, predicted to win the championship this year.


But it was the fifth pick of the draft that shocked everyone. The Australian Taipans, the defending champions, selected....Brandon Aiyuk (WR)...and he wasn't even the best wide receiver.


We learned after the draft that the Taipans were on the clock for their first pick, expecting to take a RB. They were lining up their subsequent picks when they placed Aiyuk in the cue for their third pick...and inadvertently selected Aiyuk as their first pick. It was all over for the season as far as the Taipans were concerned, unable to recover with positional players, forced to forgo probably a top tier RB and and top tier WR. While they did recover to select a top tier QB, their draft was already looking like a dogs breakfast. On the draft results, the Taipans, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are predicted to only win three (3) games this year - if they're lucky.


The season kicks off next Thursday and we'll be there at all the grounds as we cover every error committed both on an off the field.

[Gut Wrench]

MONKEYS SILENCE THE BANTER
...and share the lead..

Week One in the Subsim Fantasy Football League...and don't look now, but the best damm 2-12 team in the league, the Monkeys have an equal share of the league.

And at the other end of the toilet bowl, the defending champions are already in trouble.

How do your favorite fake team do. Stand by, for we have all the details, right after this important message.

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The Helmand Nighthawks kick off the season with the local derby against the Boss Brigade - on the shortest "away" game of the season. (They took a London bus.) Lamar Jackson (QB) started the season hot putting up 32 points, and when CJ Stroud (QB) only put up 20 points for the Nighthawks, it was looking like a loss. Welcome to the field Tyree Hill (WR) and Saquan Barkley (RB) who just decimated the Bosses. In what was predicted to be a modest scoring game, the Nighthawks came out and showed they are the team to beat by putting up the highest score of the week. In the end it wasn't even close as the Helmand Nighthawks scorched the Banter Brigade 181 - 138.

The Banter Brigade had the first pick of the draft,where they choose Christian McCaffrey (RB) but it does you no good if he calls in sick at 4.30pm on Monday afternoon. The Banter were at home at Twickenham hosting the Drunk Monkeys in what became one of the best games of the weekend. Banter were out early with Kansas City (DEF) but when the Marvin Harrison Junior (WR) made his debut scoring 1 point, they were in trouble. The Monkeys had Jordy Love (QB) go out early with injury to put the win in jeopardy, but when McCaffrey called in sick, and no relief available, the game was handed to Coach Thad.Drunk Monkeys topple the Banter Brigade 128 - 70.

"Hell, yeah," he said after the game. "We're going to the playoffs."

Steady Thad, its still Week One. :)

At the other end, the most disappointing game of the week were the defending champions, the Australian Taipans hosting the new expansion team, the Wasted Potential. The Taipans are still reeling from from a "costume malfunction" during the draft and barely made the field. Their only bright spot was Jayden Waddle (WR) who save them from being spat on. The Waste just showed up, went through their bowel motions and did just enough to get the win. The only bright spot for the Taipans is that the waiver wire opens this week. Final score in Australia, Wasted Potential defeats Australian Taipans 119 - 97.

It's Week One and we're already rewriting this column. Twice. In Oregon, the Who Dat Nation were hosting the Black cats. Josh Allen (QB) did his usual magic given the nation a hefty 32 points, the Cats responded with every member of their team scoring double point. On Monday night, the Cats still had the Jets (DEF) to play. Dallas (DEF) had already given the Nation 17 points so this was going to be a line ball call. Jets (DEF) gave up more points than expected and the lead for the Cats started to dwindle. A stop of 3rd and 3, forcing a punt, stopped the scoring hemorrhage. And in time too. You can have the best draft but it's the W's that count, and this week the W went to the Black cats who squeak out a victory 141.22 - 139.58. Less than 2 points. Wow.

So where does that leave us at the end of Week 1, half the teams are 1-0, the other half are 0-1. Next week we go to Pearland to see the Wasted Potential host the Drunk Monkeys.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

We've had some big individual scores on opening day. For the effort of 109 yards for 2 touchdowns, 2 receptions for 23 yards and 1 touchdown, for a total of 39.20 points, the Week One MVT goes to Sequan Barcley (RB) of the Helmand Nighthawks.

http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

[Gut Wrench]

THRILLER IN PEARLAND
...not so in Oregon.

Week Two in the Subsim Fantasy Football League...and we have our second rewrite of the year. And it came on our match the day, and she was a thriller.

We'll give all the fake football news you can handle, , right after this important message.



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Opening Day in the Carolina's as the Black Cats were hosting the Helmand Nighthawks. Both team coming off wins in week with a potential for sole leadership of the league. Nighthawks played their exceptionally consistent game with Debo Samuel (WR) leading the team with 24 points. Wasn't helped by the rest of the receiving corp and this left the way open for The Cats to capitalize. Even with AJ Brown (WR) out, the due of duo of Devonte Adams (WR) and Nico Collins (WR) put up over 65 points. With Samuel (WR) going down late in the game (now confirmed out for four weeks) Coach FYC was able to roll his team to an equal share of the league lead. Final score in Carolina, The Black Cats defeat the Helmand Nighthawks 131 - 117.


It was a long trip to Twickenham for the Australian Taipans and frankly, they should have stayed home. Even with Christina McCaffrey (RB) being declared out for four weeks, the Taipans receiving copy didn't put up a single touchdown or 100 yards. Marvin Harrison Junior (WR) for the Banter put up more points than the entire Taipans wide receivers. Taipans only highlight was Isiah Pacheco (RB) who promptly broke his leg prior to reaching 100 yards. This one wasn't even close as the Taipans slip further into the toilet bowl by yielding an easy win - and they should consider themselves lucky the Banter didn't play Alvin Kamara (RB) who sat on the bench for 50 points. Banter Brigade bring the cheer defeating the Taipans 130 - 115.


Wrestling for the bottom of the toilet bowl the Who Dat Nation were hosting the Boss team in Oregon. While both teams lost in week one, they did so with reasonable scoring and plenty of touchdowns. Not as impressive as last week, both teams left one (1) player off the field so this was going to come down to one other player. For the Bosses, it was James Cook (RB) - not the explorer, who had a total of three 93) touchdowns. The Boss Team get a win on the road in Oregon defeating Coach Fuel For Blood 128 - 112.

Our match of the day was a beauty with the score alternating back and forth. The expansion team of Wasted Potential has their first home game of the year as the Drunk Monkeys came to town. The Monkeys looked super impressive last week, despite not having a QB, and this week they arrived without another QB. Not to be concerned, Coach Casey being with a new team started both Drake London (WR) and Philadelphia (DEF). Turns out that was right combination as the lead change five (5) times int he last thirty (30) minutes on Monday night. This one went down to the wire folks and it wasn't until London crossed for a touchdown that the Waste finally out some space. if only all games were as good as this one. Final score to a raucous crowd in Texas, the Waster Potential defeat the Drunk Monkeys

133 - 125.

So lets run down the board and see where we are two weeks into the season.

The Black Cats and the Wasted Potential sit atop the board at 2-0 each. Right behind them at 1-1 are a flock of team, the Helmand Nighthawks, the Drunk Monkeys, the Boss team and the Banter Brigade. Occupying the cellar are the Who Dat Nation Rises and the Australian Taipans.

Next week we go to the Carolina's for our match of the day as the Black Cats host the visiting Boss team. The Cats can't stake a claim for sole possession of the #1 seed while the Bosses have to regain some ground to the divisional rivals.

And we'll be there for every snap of every game....and based on the top five picks in the draft all now being injured, the next domino to fall.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

There were some great candidates for this week. For the effort of4 receptions for 129 yards and 2 touchdowns, for a total of 35.00 points, the Week Two MVT goes to Marvin Harrison Junior (WR) of the Banter Brigade.



http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

[Gut Wrench]

WASTED POTENIAL
...the last standing undefeated.

Week Three in the Subsim Fantasy Football League...and is this the most offensive year of football ever? I watched seven hours of of football and replays yesterday, and this time last year, we had teams scoring 160, 170, even a 200 point score. This year, this week, we had four (4) teams score less than 100.

Enough with the bitching, let's look at this week games, after we look at this.


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Black Cats got to stay at home for two weeks in a row and were our match of the day. In something resembling a retirement home afternoon nap, the Cats are the first team this week that didn't have a wide receiver score a touchdown. The Bosses were marginally better with both Jamar Chase (WR) and Garret Wilson (WR) crossing for scored, but the Bosses were barely able to crack the 100 point barrier. In a game where no one wanted to win, the Black Cats should have forfeited - they would have achieved the same result. Boss team comes in and defeats the Black Cats in a low scoring 115 - 85.


Speaking of low scores, how about them Drunk Monkeys. At home they had the opportunity to put the defending Torpedo Bowl champion down 0-3, basically, if they showed up. But they didn't. Not even the Taipans receiving corp scoring 0 touchdowns helped the Monkeys get the victory this week. In a case of "how low can you go" The Australian Taipans slither to their first win of the season to defeat the Monkeys 94 - 88.


Banter Brigade were hosting the Wasted Potential of Coach Casey this week. With McCaffrey (RB) still out of the Brigade with injury, this was an easy coast to victory by the Waste - they didn't need Derek Henry (RB) to blow through the Banter scoring 36 points. The Banter are in trouble with the star RB out of action allowing the waste to claim another easy victory. Wasted Potential blow out the Banter 138 - 88.


The only match that was worth watching was the Who Dat Nation hosting the Helmand Nighthawks. The Nighthawks and the Who Dat Nation are traditionally the powerhouse teams of the Sub Simmers league but this year they're struggling to get going. But, it's week three and for the third week, we've had rewrite this column as the complexion of the game changed Monday Night. The Nation were 0-2 on the season and 40 points behind on the scoreboard before Josh Allen (QB) took to the field. Allen (QB) put on a clinical display while the Nighthawks kicker, McPherson, was scoring more points than Tee Higgins. This was a nail biter of a game, easily the best game of the week and the season so far. (Perhaps there is hope for the rest of the league.) With Josh Allen (QB) at 38 points, Coach Fuel For Blood pulled him form the game, I thought, maybe too early. I was right. Tee Higgins (WR) did barely enough to give the Helmand Nighthawks the win by the narrowest margin of the week. Final score, the Helmand Nighthawks defeat the Who Dat Nation Rises 110.52 - 109.92, a gap of 0.5


So let's check the board and see what happened.


At 3-0, Wasted Potential sit at the top of the league with sole ownership, being the last undefeated team. After that it gets a little murky. The win by the Bosses over the Black Cats has both teams at 2-1 sharing with the Helmand Nighthawks. Behind them, Drunk Monkeys, Taipans and the Banter all sit at 1-2, and the Who Dat Nation is alone in the cellar at 0-3.


Next week we go to Wembley for our match of the day as the Helmand Nighthawks host the Drunk Monkeys. While billed as battle of 1-2 teams, there's a lot closer on paper than one might expect. With both teams at 1-2, there's a lot on the line here, even this early int he season.

And provided we have no more injuries decimating teams, it wants to be a better week than this.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

Looking aorund there were probably three candidates for this week, maybe four. But there can only be one. For the effort of 6 receptions for 118 yards and 2 touchdowns, for a total of 35.80 points, the Week Three MVT goes to Jamar Chaser (WR) of the Boss Team.



http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg[

[Gut Wrench]

COACH CASEY STILL....UNWASTED
...not so Coach Fuel For Blood.

Week Four in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. We're one third of the way through the regular season and for the fourth consecutive week, creating a new record, we have had to rewrite this column AGAIN late Monday night.

People. everyone loves a close game,,,except the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) when it's a blow out and your team comes charging back on Monday night.

Let's hear for the stability of our chief product.




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Right now, Coach Fuel For Blood couldn't buy a win if his life depended upon it. This week the team that was given the highest draft rating met the team with the lowest draft rating, the Australian Taipans. Having made more changes to their roster than the rest of the league combined, the Taipans are still missing that explosive powerhouse at wide receiver. Fortunately for them the Who Dat Nation Rises only suited up one (1) WR for this game, and while the Taipans only scored one (1) touchdown from the receiving corp, one (1) was all they needed. In a disappointing game which saw even our advertisers turn the game off, Australian Taipans string together just enough to get their second win in a row. Final score in Oregon, the Australian Taipans defeat the Who Dat Nation Rises 120 - 76.

In the Carolina's the Black Cats were hosting the league leaders the Wasted Potential. Since changing franchises, Coach Casey has had the Waste over everyone. He's gone through his own and is now stinking up the other division. Black cats started the game less two (2) players so this was always going to be by "how much". About 40 points is how much. Final score sees the Wasted Potential remain undefeated beating the Black Cats 144 - 91.

Our Match of the Week and first of rewrite of the night saw the Helmand Nighthawks hosting the Drunk Monkeys. Now, the Nighthawks are normally unbeatable at home at Wembley but this year they have stumbled. The Drunks rode into town less two (2) players and the same question that we asked at another game, "how much" was "about 10 points". But not the way you think. CJ Stroud (QB) was spectacular for the Nighthawks, but Jory Love (QB) was more so for the Monkeys. In one of the biggest upsets possible in the year, the Drunk Monkeys accounted for the Helmand Nighthawks, edging ahead with a late touchdown with four (4) minutes to play on Monday night. Final score at the now less vincible Wembley, the Drunk Monkeys ride out town victors, having defeated the Helmand Nighthawks, 144 - 133.

Our second rewrite of the night (guys, c'mon on) was the nail biting Boss Team hosting the Banter Brigade. Drawing a slightly larger crowd than the Nighthawks game (there's a first) these two teams both left one of the key positions out. Lamar Jackson (QB) opened the scoring for the Bosses while Michael Pittman (WR) responded for the Banter. On Monday night both teams had players one the field as the chase for victory by the Banter continued. This was close folks, with just two minutes left in the weekend, the banter had the last two (2) players on the field needing just one (1) point. Less than one point. Did not happen. Needed less than two yards for the win, they come up short. Final score the Boss team defeat the Banter Brigade 101.84 - 100.08.

So a quarter of the way through the season let's check the state of play.

The Wasted Potential lead the league, remaining undefeated at 4-0. The narrow win this week puts the Boss team at 3-1. Behind them the 2-2 log jam include the Helmand Nighthawks, the Drunk Monkeys , the Black Cats and the Australian Taipans. the first team below .500% are the Banter brigade while the Who Dat Nation Rises sits at 0-4 still looking for their first win.

Next week we go to back to Twickenham where the Boss Team will be hosting the Wasted Potential. Now despite the lesser winning record, the Boss team starts as favorites against the Waste based on their impressive recent performance. As always, we'll have all the games and all the fake highlights to keep you coming back and reading this column week after week.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

Late voting on the Monday night players almost swayed this result. For the effort of 199 rushing yards for one touchdown, and 3 receptions for 10 yards and a second touchdown, for a total of 41.90 points, the Week Four MVT goes to Derrick Henry (RB) of the Wasted Potential.



http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

[Gut Wrench]

THE POTENTIAL GETS WASTED
...owed by the Bosses

Week Five in the Subsim Fantasy Football League.


Fellas, it's week five and the fifth rewrite of the season. You guys have got to do better and not be leaving it till the last minutes of Monday night to win or lose your game.


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Our match of the day was a ball tearing affair. At Twickenham, the Boss team were hosting the Waster Potential. Coach Casey and his waste came in looking like they were going to run the table - I hadn't seen anything yet to show they might get beaten. And then the Bosses took the field! In a high scoring affair, even playing a man down, the Boss team ordered troops and just rode roughshod over the visitors. Thus, ends the unbeaten run of the Wasted Potential, as they get to go home, humbled by the Boss team. This one wasn't even close, and you have to think the Bosses might have a playoff team this year. Final score at Twickenham, the Boss team blow out the Wasted Potential 190 - 135.


Across town, the other English game today saw the Banter Brigade hosting the Helmand Nighthawks. The Nighthawks are currently sitting at .500% and the two league leaders were just starting to put some distance on them. Likewise, the Banter brigade with only one win, needed to get a win to stay in contact with the body of the league and avoid the wooden spoon. (is it too early to be talking about that?) The Banter, playing three players down put the game in the hands of Kyler Murray (QB) who put up almost 30 points on his own. The Nighthawks, with a full compliment of players, just methodically stayed focus and ran the Banter down. One of the highlights of this game was the Nighthawks defense, Pittsburgh, who played the same game over two days. Final score in the English derby, the Helmand Nighthawks defeat the Banter Brigade 134 - 100.


Halfway around the world and fifteen time zones away, the Australian Taipans were hosting the Black Cats. A pair of .500% teams met but you would have to think based on the first four weeks that Coach FYC and his Cats would be favorites. The Taipans, disappointing in the first two games of the year, have stopped the nosebleed and have put their head down to do some work. They still have a lot of work to do in the remainder of the season but for this week, Brandon Aiyuk (WR) score over 27 points without getting a touchdown. Finals score in the Australian spring the Taipans defeat the Black Cats 131 - 72.


Final game of the week was the Who Dat Nation Rises hosting the Drunk Monkeys. The Nation have been abysmal this year, and even at week five were still waiting on their first win. The Monkeys rode into town and flung their stuff around the ground, and this looked like it was going to be a low scoring game. Not even Josh Allen (QB) got into noteworthy scores. The Nation held a slight 12 point lead going into Monday Night, while the Monkeys only had one players left to score, Chris Olave (WR). Oh come on, Olave (WR) can do that. Not so fast reader. Olave (WR) only had two catches the whole night and gave away a certain win. The Who Dat Nation Rises get their first win of the season by defeating the Drunk Monkeys 90 - 80.


So after this weeks games lets look at the spread.


The Boss team and the Wasted Potential sit top of the league and their respective divisions with 4-1 records. One game back at 3-2, and in second place in their respective divisions, are the Helmand Nighthawks and the Australian Taipans. The Drunk Monkeys and the Black Cats are the next pairing at 2-3 and the Who Dat Nation Rises and the Banter Brigade round out the league at 1 - 3. One team from both divisions at each level. Hmmm.


Next week we're going to sort out the Sub Simmers division when the Helmand Nighthawks host the Boss team. A win by the Nighthawks puts them level with the Bosses, and they can battle out the remainder of the division for either the #1 or #2 seed.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

Wasn't hard to find this weeks winner. For the effort of 348 passing yards for four touchdowns and 55 rushing yards, for a total of 46.92 points, the Week Five MVT goes to Lamar Jackson (QB) of the Boss Team



http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

[Gut Wrench]

TAIPANS STRIKE THE WASTE
...Who Dat beat them Cats?

Week Six in the Subsim Fantasy Football League, and before we do anything, we acknowledge two things:

Happy freaking birthday O'Neal and thank you for Subsim.
1370 views already this season - thanks to our readers.



With that our the way we have plenty of time this week to resolve what actually happened because for the first time this season - we do not have to rewrite this column in the last half (Thank freaking God for that.)

But before we tell about what we didn't rewrite, let's tell you about what you need to do.


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Let's start with our Match of the Day with the Helmand Nighthawks hosting the Boss team. This was the first of two of the most intriguing matchups of the week and the Bosses were leading the league. One game back the Nighthawks needed to beat their divisional rivals to level the series and get back on pace to win the division. And the Nighthawks did it pretty easily too. CJ Stroud (QB) was outstanding (finally) as the Nighthawks QB and even though Garret Wilson (WR) closed the gap on Monday night, the Nighthawks had already done the work. In a convincing win, the Helmand Nighthawks defeat the Boss team 135 - 116


But it wasn't the best game of the week, that belong to an unpredictable Australian Taipans. The Taipans were visiting the wasted Potential who had very quietly put games on the remainder of the division. The Waste were looking to put their second divisional win on the Taipans - but they were having nothing of it. On Thursday night the Taipans ran out three (3) players and then just marginally stayed in front of the Waste. Coach Casey had Derrick Henry (RB) chase down the slithering snakes, but it was the aerial work of Baker Mayfield (QB) who allowed the Taipans to get away. This once wasn't even close in the end with the Taipans winning 157 - 134.


Year after year, we continue to talk about one team that is perhaps the damm 2-13 team in the league, and this week the Drunk Monkeys did not disappoint again. Hosting the Banter brigade both teams were starting a man down, but the Monkeys started two (2) players who both had total negative scores: Chris Olive (WR) for -.5 points and Travis Etienne Jnr (RB) for -.1 points. That didn't hold the Monkeys back though as Jordan Love (QB) threw for four (4) touchdowns. This was a big scoring game with implications for the Monkeys to get them back to a .500%. Final score, the Drunk Monkeys defeat the Banter Brigade 105 - 69.


Our final game of the week was the Black Cats hosting the Who Dat Nation Rises. The Cats and the Nation have been wrestling back and forth for the wooden spoon (surprisingly) since the start of the season, and this game was no exception. Jaylen Hurts (QB) showed why Coach FYC invested heavily with him but is was Josh Allen (QB) who lifted the Nation to the win - with no help from Dallas (DEF) who scored -1 points. Final score int he Carolina's the Who Dat Nation Rises get an unexpected win by defeating the Black Cats 97.5 - 92.4

This weeks games has shuffled the spread so we're going take them apart and clarify.

Four (4) teams share the league lead at 4-2 but we have to break this down using count backs. The Helmand Nighthawks catapult to the league lead and the Sub Simmers division with their win. Wasted Potential with their loss drop from the #1 to the #2 seed but continue to lead the Surface Skimmers division based on divisional wins. The Boss Team is also 4-2 having been defeated by the Nighthawks this week and have the #3 seed in the league. The Australian Taipans are the second team from the Surface Skimmers with a 4-2 record but loose the divisional count back to the Waste. Those four teams look like they are going to wrestle this for the next few weeks.

The Drunk Monkeys are the sole occupants of a 3-3 record and hold the #5 seed. The Who Dat Nation elevate themselves with a win and avoidable results to 2-4 and the #6 seed on the count back to the Black Cats. Bringing up the rear, the Banter Brigade at 1-5 look to be struggling.

Hard to pick a stand out game next week but we've picked the Drunk Monkeys hosting the Wasted Potential. In a match up which has the potential to drag both teams lower in the division, this intricate situation is our Match of the Day next week.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their team's performance.

They have sucked for their first five weeks of the season but a change at Quarterback sees this team get their first award. For the effector of 325 passing yards, 4 touchdowns and another 39 rushing yards, the Week Six MVT goes to Baker Mayfield (QB) of the Australian Taipans.



http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

[Gut Wrench]

WTF HAPPENED TO WEEK 7
...screw it, here's Week Eight.

Week Eight in the Subsim Fantasy Football League.....ummm, where the hell did Week Seven go? Did the Board, for only the second time eat my post?

Last Weeks Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) was Jaylen Hurts (QB) of the Blackcats with 22.76 points.


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It was a good article last week too.

On to this week with remorse for last week.

This weeks Match of the Day was the Wasted Potential hosting the Banter Brigade. As you would have read last week (had it published correctly) we picked that game despite it being a top of the table and bottom of the table game. It looked like it was going to produce the best football - and we were almost right. The Waste were at home and even though Kirk Cousins (QB) had an outstanding 35 point day, not one of the Waste's receiving corp of London, Cooper or Kirk (sounds like a law firm) caught one touchdown. :o How did that happen? Now it was almost a repeat performance by the Cats receiving corp of Pittman, Moore and Harrison, but Marvin Harrison (WR) went for over 100 yards with his 1 touchdown catch. And that was all it took. The Black Cats stun the Wasted Potential 127 - 100.

If you thought that was big upset, you should have watched the game at Wembley. The Helmand Nighthawks were hosting the Who Dat Nation Rises. As we documented last week (if it had published) the Who Dat have been close but not close enough to get wins, and represented better than their 2-5 record. The Nation came into town and Cee Dee Lamb (WR) lit up the Nighthawks for 45 points. The Nighthawks receiving corp didn't even score that combined, and even with Travis Kelce (TE) on National Tight End day contributing 25 points, it was never going to be enough. In the second upset of the week, the Helmand Nighthawks get handed another astonishing defeat at the hands of the Who Dat Nation, and loose 190 - 115.

Game three of the week, could we see a third upset?

In Australia, the Taipans were hosting the Drunk Monkeys, and the Slytherin started as underdogs. The Taipans have swapped more players than diapers and climbed back into discussions. The Monkeys, steam rolled along with their chore players, including those not scheduled to play. Justin Jefferson (WR) opened a scoring blitz for the Monkeys but it was Baker Mayfield (QB) who brought back the Taipans. Even George Kittle (TE) got in on National Tight End day. The Taipans run up a cricket score on the Drunk Monkeys to take the win 160 - 128.

Final game of the week in Carolina saw the Black Cats hosting the Boss team. There are some serious implication on this game, a win to either team being significant advantageous in their division. Conversely, a loss would break up the entire league. Cats had last weeks MVT (if the post was published) Jaylen Hurts (QB) come out with another 30 plus point score. But unlike the Cats, the Bosses with the exception of Balimore (DEF) were double digit scorers. The Cats did not have that, and this game slipped out of their claws like kitty litter. The Boss team come home with a convincing win 157 - 135.

Ok, so last week, you would have read about the log jam on the league ladder. This week, we've got some break up and pieces are starting to move into position doe the post season.

At the top of the ladder, the Boss team and the Australian Taipans (where the hell did they come from?) lead the league and their respective divisions at 6-2. One game back at 5-3 is the Wasted Potential, and another game back at 4-4 (.500) are the Helmand Nighthawks. The Drunk Monkeys, Who Dat Nation and the Black Cats all sit at 3-5 while the Banter Brigade at 2-6 can take pride that both their wins were against the league leaders.

There's probably no chance of the Nighthawks slipping to the consolation series but the clutter behind Mister Chris makes the path forward being chased by the pack.

Next week, we're England Bound for a top of the table clash between the Boss Team and the Australian Taipans. The winner of this game will have sole possession of the league lead and with a least a two game lead over their divisional rival, will probably be the #1 or #2 seed.

Each week, including those that don't get published, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their team's performance.

We talked about this high scoring game and the efforts of Justin Jefferson (WR) earlier, but it was actually another teammate who earned it this week. For the effort of 127 rushing yards and 2 touchdowns for a total of 31.5 points, the Week Eight MVT goes to Josh Jacobs (RB) of the Who Dat Nation Rises.



http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

[Gut Wrench]

See, it published.

[Gut Wrench]

WHO'S LEADING THE LEAGUE IN WEEK 9?
...ghost-buster.


It's week Eight in the Subsim Fantasy Football League, and while we can look around at the end of week results and ask "who", its becoming a season for some teams of "why".

What's the frequency Kenneth? Stand by as we get ready to go around the grounds and find out what happened and how it happened, right after this message.


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The first of the English bound games this week had the Helmand Nighthawks hosting the Wasted Potential. Mister Chris has struggled to find his dominating stance this year, not from anything he has done wrong, but the guy can't get a break this year. Like one of other teams, plagued with in game injuries the Nighthawks have not been able to soar. Coach Casey has been in and out of the waiver wire with his new team, anchored by (King) Derrick Henry (RB). The scores are beginning to get larger (finally) so the chase for Mister Chris on Monday night came down to Deandre Hopkins (WR) and Travis Kelce (TE). Kelce (TE) must have caught the first five passes of the game and I thought was headed for 100 yards receiving...until he fumbled. The run back for the Nighthawks was just too far even for Hopkins (WR) and the Nighthawks fall to the Waste 155 - 148.

In Oregon, the toilet bowl game of the worst teams in the league (how the mighty have fallen) saw the Who Dat Nation Rises hosting the Banter Brigade. Now, the Banter have knocked off the (then) two leading teams in the league, but no one else. And it was about to be another win today. In a pitiful low scoring offense lead by Kyler Murray (QB) who only scored 3 points, the Banter barely scored enough to exceed the Nations Josh Allen (QB) personal score of 28 points. This wasn't even close, and you can't blame the rain. The Who Dat Nation Rises flush the Banter Brigade 106 - 48.

The most interesting game of the week being conducted in the daylight savings change - they got to play one hour of their game a second time. For a pair of 3-5 times this was an intriguing match up knowing the results of the earlier games in England. The Monkeys were unable to capitalize on their earlier form, only Joe Nixon (RB) showing up to score 23 points. Jaylen Hurts (QB) did the job for the Cats but it can't go without mentioning that the Cats defense of the Jets (DEF) scored 14 points. Black Cats were able to purr past the Drunk Monkeys to defeat them 119 - 100.

Our match of the day and second English game this week was the Boss team hosting the Australian Taipans. The dumpster fire that was the Taipans in the first four weeks have somehow slithered up the ladder to be in contention for the divisional lead. Meanwhile, the Boss team has methodically just worked their ghostly way through the season to put up some respectable numbers. The Taipans have made wholesale changes at every position but are still afflicted by continuing injuries robbing them of greatness. The Boss team, who started as 10 point favorites this week, even with Chris Goodwin (WR) out for the season but listed as a starter. The Taipans would have won it too had they played anyone other than Denver (DEF) who scored, - 3points. The final score in Twickenham has the Bosses defeating the Taipans 144.2 - 142.3, but its the cascading effects of that game that interests the league the most.

So where does that leave the league log jam? Get your picks out, we'll push through this and get down to the nitty gritty sawdust.

Sole possession of the league lead at 7-2 is given to the Boss team. They've managed to scale to the top through adversity, but I wouldn't say they were the favorites.

The loss by the Taipans and the win by the Wasted Potential have them at 6-3 battling for the divisional title.

Then it gets a little more complicated.

At 4-5 we have an unexpected group headed by the Helmand Nighthawks. The Nighthawks are sub .500% at week 9 - I'm hoping the Royal Family don't bring pressure to bear and Mister Chris finds himself out of coaching job. Equal record with the Nighthawks are the Who Dat Nation and the Black Cats, two teams vastly inferior, but sticking it to the Nighthawks. Behind them at 3-6 are the Drunk Monkeys and the Banter Brigade at 2-7.

Next week, our broadcast crew stays in England to move across town for our match of the day between the Helmand Nighthawks and the Australian Taipans. In their only regular season meeting this year, the two expected cross paths with very different agendas - the Nighthawks needing a win just to stay in consideration, the Taipans wanting the win to eliminate a divisional rival from the playoffs. And we'll be there for all the details - although it may be a late publication next week as I'll be in different timezone non conducive to any Monday night games. I don't even know if my hotel carries the broadcast.

Each week the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their team's performance.

We mentioned him earlier and given the chase that followed, it was this player who solidified the win. For the effort of 106 rushing yards and 2 touchdowns, 1 reception for 27 yards, for a total of 32.30 points, the Week Nine MVT goes to Derrick Henry (RB) of the Wasted Potential.



http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

[Gut Wrench]

BOSSES LEAD THE LEAGUE
...and gut wrench the Nighthawks.


Week Ten is traditionally when we start to see teams guaranteeing themselves a play off berth, or begin facing elimination. We've got two shocks, one at the top and bottom of the league ladder. What is going on with English teams?

Thanksgiving is coming, someone's going to get stuffed and cooked, and it could happen both ends of the ladder.

Let's go around the grounds right after the second most important message you'll hear this Veteran's day.


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Thursday night. It's always a crap shoot on Thursday night - starting the week a couple of days ahead of anyone else. Unless you're the Drunk Monkeys and the Boss team is starting. This game was over Thursday night as Ja'marr Chase (WR) set a league individual record score of 61.40 points. Combined with Lamar Jackson (QB) they combined for over 100 points - before the Drunk Monkeys even walked on to the field. This was a landslide victory for the Bossses who suddenly look like the #1 overall seed in the post season. Can anyone stop them? Not the Drunk Monkeys this week as they collapse 164 - 76.

Can the Nighthawks catch the Bosses? Not this week. Our Match of the Day at Wembley had the Nighthawks hosting the Taipans on their longest away game of the year. The long haul flight didn't affect Chuba Hubbard (RB) who opened the scoring for the Taipans with a solid 30 points. While the receiving corp for the Taipans failed to score a touchdown, so too did the Nighthawks wide receivers fail to score, leaving the touchdowns to Taylor's boyfriend, Travis Kielce (TE). This has implications for both teams, but the most significant is the loss by the Nighthawks. What has happened to the Nighthawks as they loose 136 - 89.

In Carolina this week, the Black Cats hosted the Banter Brigade, who welcome the return of Christian McCaffrey (RB). Easing back into the game to make a full team compliment, we'll expected bigger scores in the next week, but a respectful 16 points on return from injury. With McCaffrey back in the game, the Cats Jalen Hurts (QB) capitalized and threw for 2 touchdowns while running another 2 touchdowns in. This one was not close int he end as the Black Cats extinguish the Banter Brigade 142 - 104.

Final game of the week was the Wasted Potential hosting the Who Dat Nation Rises. This was expected to be an easy win for the Waste based on the underperformance of the Nation lately, but not this week - the Nation came to rise. The Waste were stifled by a late inactivation of Cooper Cup (WR) leaving the door open for the Nation to steal one of the biggest wins of the year. At 4-5 the Nation have not yet been eliminated - but they're getting close. Monday night would decide this game with the Waste getting Cooper Cup (WR) back from injury, and the Nation with Nacua (WR) and Williams (RB). In the two on one battle the Waste were able to just hold on for a win. Wasted Potential gets up over the Nation 103 - 94.

With the unexpected come unexpected league results. Let's take this apart division by division so we get clarity, and we'll start with the Sub Simmers division.

The Boss team lead the league and the division at 8-2. A win gets the Black Cat to 5-5, while four games back from the Bosses at 4-5 are the Helmand Nighthawks and the Who Dat Nation. Who had the Nighthawks at the bottom of the division other bingo card.

Over in the Surface Skimmers division the Wasted Potential and the Australian Taipans are at 7-3 with the Waste holding the tie breaker. A long way back are the Drunk Monkeys 3-7 and the Banter Brigade 2-8.

Next week we have two (2) great matchups but we're going to stay in England with the Helmand Nighthawks hosting the Boss Brigade in the local derby. The Bosses can confirm a playoff position with a win while the Nighthawks are facing elimination with a loss. Nighthawks need the win just to stay in contention for the Championship bracket.

Each week the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their team's performance.

Thursday night was a wild night and it was hard with the record score, but there was another player in that game that was outstanding.For the effort of 290 yards, 4 touchdownsand a 2 point conversion, for a total of 40.90 points, the Week ten MVT goes to Lamar Jackson of the Boss Team.

http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

[Gut Wrench]

BOSSES WIN, WASTE LOOSES
...and we've got a league tie.


Week Eleven and finally, we get to see some teams stretch their lead, some teams wallop in pity, and some teams getting ready for the next season,

Strap on the thinking caps and get ready to put the brain cells to work as we go around the grounds and piece together this weeks events, right after this important message.


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In a battle for the worst record in the league, the Drunk Monkeys were hosting the Banter Brigade. What has happened to these two teams, near the top of the league in week 2 they have cascaded and tumbled their way down the league. The Monkeys, traditional owners of the best damm 2-23 team in the league have outperformed themselves racking up three wins already. The Banter opened the season on fire and then burnt out reducing their year to charcoal bricks. Though playing without a scheduled WR or TE, Amon St. Brown (WR) was outstanding for the Monkeys with his performance, ably assisted by Joe Nixon (RB) who by the end of the first quarter already had scored 20 points. Which was more than any player for the Banter. Jahymr Gibbs (RB) was the only bright spot for the Banter scoring 19 points, unmatched by their other RB, Christian McCaffrey. In the end this was a landslide performance by the Monkeys - much needed as it keeps them with the (remote) possibility of making the championship playoffs. Maybe. In an early victory, Drunk Monkeys secure the win over the Banter Brigade 141 - 64.

The local derby in England saw the Helmand Nighthawks hosting the Bosses. The Bosses have lead the league since week three and while a couple of teams have caught them, the league leaders haven't been able to close the gap. The Nighthawks, having a terrible season and potentially facing elimination, needed a stellar performance, which they delivered upon. With Saquon Barkley (RB) running up 39 points. The Bosses were helped by Jamar Chase (WR) who scored 36 points, but he was the top scorer of the team, and you don't win games like that. The Bosses take their third unpredictable loss of the season as the Nighthawks stay relevant with a 130 - 114 win.

In Pearland, Texas, it was old rivals the Wasted Potential hosting the Australian Taipans. The Taipans were devastated this week with three (3) players being ruled out with injury, including George Kittle (TE) an hour before kick off. Using back ups that they signed in the parking lot, this game was always going to be "by how much". Surprisingly, this was much closer than many expected - once again dominated by Cooper Kupp (WR) who scored 36 points. Needing a lot of points on Monday night, the Taipans reduced the gap but it was never going to be a spectacular performance. Wasted Potential get their second win of the season over the Taipans and hold the post season tie breaker by defeating the Taipans 149 - 128.

Our final game of the week saw Coach FYC and the Black Cats hosting Coach Fuel For Blood and the Who Dat Nations Rises. This could have been an abysmal game for the Nation with three Cowboys on the team - Lamb (WR), Aubrey (TE) and Dallas (DEF). Those three have not been league leaders this year, but they didn't need to be. With the Black Cats highest scorer being Jaylen Hurts (QB) with 19 points, the Cats rolled over on their belly and got scratched. Final score is a unneeded loss by the Black Cats, the Who Dat nation wins 127 - 78.

The results shake up the standings just a little to give some clarity.

The Boss Team and the Wasted Potential sit at the top of the ladder both at 8-3. Which of these two will have home field advantage is still to be decided, but one game back at 7-4 are the Australian Taipans who might want to dispute that. Then there's a small two game back to three teams at 5-6, the Helmand Nighthawks, the Who Dat Nation Rises and the Black Cats. Any of these three teams can still upset the ladder and win their way into the Championship Playoffs. One game further back are the Drunk Monkeys at 4-7 who mathematically could make the Championship Playoffs, but more likely they will be deciding who doesn't. At the bottom of the ladder at 2-7 are the Banter Brigade who have been eliminated form the Championship playoffs.

Next week we're going to call our Match of the Day from the Drunk Monkeys home field. The Monkeys can still make the Championship play offs but they are going have to hold off the Wasted Potential. The Waste are currently leading the Surface Skimmers division by one game but still have a couple of difficult match ups in the final weeks. This could be an essential for both teams, and we'll be there to catch all the action.

Each week the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their team's performance.

Some big individual scores and none were bigger than for this player. For the effort of 109 yards, 3 touchdowns and 2 receptions for 44 yards, for a total of 41.30 points, the Week Eleven MVT goes to Joe Mixon (RB) of the Drunk Monkeys

http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

[Gut Wrench]

BOSSES LOST, WASTE WINS
...unlike last week..


Week Twelve in the Subsim Fantasy Football league, and it's the Monday night before we get to turkey day. But before we sit down, we've gotta pluck the weekend games and work out, who's been stuffed.

It's a short working week before the longest weekend of the year so let's cranberry the games, right after this important message.


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Where doe we start? Let's start with our luck luster match of the day.

The Drunk Monkeys were hosting the Wasted Potential in what was initially predicted to be a low scoring defensive game - which is the reason we picked it. During the week Coach Casey made some team changes, went to the waiver wire and suddenly it's no longer close. Coach Thad did no favor by starting San Francisco (DEF) who scored -2 points, but the Waste was somewhat lucky. If they didn't have Sam Darnold (QB) throw for 330 yards and 3 touchdowns, this would have been the game we were expecting on paper. Monkeys suffer a huge loss and with it comes bad news as they succumb to the smell of the Waste 147 - 78.

In Twickenham, the Boss team were hosting the once glorious Who Dat Nations Rises. The Nation have wallowed this year while the Bosses have appeared at the top of the league for most of the season. Not today though. resting their key players - 1, 2, 3 4 of them. Lamar Jackson (QB) was their sole stand out but on the other side of the ball, who were those guys wearing the Dallas (DEF) jerseys that scored 22 points. Wow. In a huge upset - maybe the biggest of the year, the Who Dat Nation keep their aspirations for the Championship alive by knocking off the #1 seed 138 - 72.

Across town the Helmand Nighthawks welcomed the Black Cats to Wembley Stadium The Nighthawks are limping their way into the playoffs. But there was no limping this weekend as the Nighthawks provided a statement game with Saquon Barkley (RB). The Cats were not helped by the loss of three (3) players but AJ Brown (WR) showed up to put a respectable 29 points on the board. Coming in strong when they need it the most, the Helmand Nighthawks hand the Black Cats a much needed loss to break the three way 5-6 divisional tie in the Sub Simmers division. Final score at Wembley, the Nighthawks throttle the Cats 137 - 89.

Our final game of the week was a nail biter as the Australian Taipans host the cellar dwellers of the league, the Banter Brigade. The Banter have two wins on the season and one of them came against the Taipans. The Taipans have had another week of injuries and waiver wire replacements trying to piece a team together. This week both the Taipans running backs combined for a season low score of 6 points. The Banter likewise had a brain meltdown with Kyler Murray (QB) only scoring 8 points. On Monday night the Taipans lead by 8 points with the Banter's Justin Tucker (K) the last remaining player. A 49 field goal by Tucker (K) put the Banter within 2 points of the Taipans with 12 minutes to play. That would be the last time that Tucker touched the ball and the Taipans get very lucky to narrowly defeat the Banter 112.96 - 111.60.

With that briefing out of the way, let's look at the league standings.

The win by the Wasted Potential puts them at sole possession of the league at 9-3 and guarantee them a Championship play off appearance. The win also eliminates both the Drunk Monkeys and the Banter Brigade from the Championship playoffs.

The loss by the Boss team puts them at 8-4 and they have sole possession of the SubSimmers Division. The Taipans are also 8-4, and both of these two teams can still win the league, and also fall out of the Championship bracket. Nothing is guaranteed yet.

...and now it gets a little murky. The Nighthawks and the Who Dat Nation come in at 6-6 with their divisional rival the Black Cats one game back at 5-7. With these three (3) teams within a game of each other, it's too close to call who is in, and who is out.

Bringing up the tail and the cellar of the Surface Skimmers Division are the Black Cats at 4-8 and the Banter Brigade at 2-10.

Get ready for the longest weekend of football as we start our broadcast in Oregon. In a "must win" situation for both teams, the Who Dat Nation Rises host the Helmand Nighthawks. A win for either team will go a long way towards cementing a Championship playoff, but both teams are dependent upon other games so their fate won't be known until at least the following week.

Each week the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their team's performance.

Not hard to find this week's winner. For the effort of 255 rushing yards, 2 touchdowns and 4 receptions for 47 yards, for a total of 52.20 points, the Week Twelve MVT goes to Saquon Barkley (RB) of the Helmand Nighthawks.

http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

[Gut Wrench]

WASTE AND BOSSES CLINCH DIVISIONS
...implications still pending


Week Thirteen in the Subsim Fantasy Football league - the longest week of football this year, and traditionally the week we get our first seeding. Not this year though, we may know who the division winners are but we've still got a long way to go before we get to final placings.

Let's serve the leftovers from Thursday through Monday and get those plates cleaned off before the second last week and do it all over again - after we give you this message.

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First game of the week and we're in Oregon where the Who Dat Nation was hosting the Helmand Nighthawks. Both the Nation and the Nighthawks entered this game at 6-6, on the edge of the playoffs. This was really a game of two quarterbacks with Josh Allen (QB) of the Nation teaching Justin Herbert (QB) of the Nighthawks that 5.48 points is not going to be enough to win the game. Saquon Barkley (RB) tried to keep the Nighthawks in the game with 25.70 points but it with Kyreen Williams (RB) almost matching with 24.30 points, it would be the Nighthawks outstanding Dallas (DEF) scoring 17 points that would put this game out of reach for Mister Chris. Final score in the north west - the Who Dat Nation keep their playoffs alive with a 146 - 117 win.

We'll get to the implications of this later.

In the Carolina's, Coach FYC and the Black Cats were hosting the surprising ghosts of the Bosses. The Bosses have have had their league leading charge stifled in recent weeks and to get back on track needed a big win on foreign soil. And a big win they got aided by Mike Evans (WR) who finally showed up for 31.80 points. The Cats had Bijan Robinson (RB) almost match with a personal tally of 31.50 points, but was left unaided by the remainder of the team. This one wasn't even close - as you would expect from the Bosses. In a high score affair, the Bosses out-purr-form the Black Cats 161 - 133.

We'll get to the implications of this game later.

In Texas, the Wasted Potential were hosting the visiting Englishmen of the Banter Brigade. The Banter came into the week with their star Christian McCaffrey (RB) back to form - at least until the third quarter when he pulled a muscle, left the game and now needs season ending surgery. The Waste were able to ooze their players through the long arduous weekend with Brock Bowers (TE) carrying the team with a career high 36.20 points. While the Banter gave them a worthy chase and outscored predictions, the Waste was just too pungent to keep bottled up. The Waste Potential has the Banter Brigade another loss by winning 129 - 117.

We'll get to the implications of this game later.

Our final game of the week was a nail biter - and again rewritten at least twice. The Drunk Monkeys were hosting the Australian Taipans and went out early with Thursday scores. Unfortunately, their cause was not helped by San Francisco (DEF) who scored -4 points, leaving the door open for the Taipans. The Taipans did everything they could to avoid having players in the snow. Unfortunately, the replacements of Baker Mayfield (QB) and Taysom Hill (TE) got injured during the weekend (of course they did) putting the Taipans victory in doubt. With 1:49 remaining on Monday night, Denver (DEF) intercepted and returned for a touchdown, giving them a shock come from behind win. Final score Taipans 130 Drunk Monkeys 110.

We'll talk about the implications of this game and the other games, now.

First, Coach Casey and the Wasted Potential secure the Surface Skimmers division. With just two games remaining they hold the tie breaker over the league. Their final seeding of either #1 or #2 is still to be decided.

The win by the Boss Team secured the Surface Skimmers division for them, but they are still in contention with the Waste for the #1 or #2 seeding in the league.

The Bosses win and the Taipans win also ensures the Taipans the #3 seeding.

The divisional win by the Who Dat Nation elevates them to 7-6 with the Nighthawks a game back at 6-7. The Taipans hold the tiebreaker over both teams, so only one of these two teams will make the Championship bracket.

A game back at 5-8 are the Black Cats who may still be able to reach the #4 seed - with help.

Neither of these three teams - the Nighthawks, Black Cats or Nation are secure yet and will need both of the remaining two weeks to sort out the seeding. Behind them the Drunk Monkeys and the Banter Brigade can look on and wonder.

Next week we go back to the Carolina's where the Black Cats are hosting the Wasted Potential. The Waste can secure the #1 seed with a win but the Black Cats can keep their hopes of a championship bracket with a win. This may not look like a great match up but the implications are enormous for seeding across the league.

Each week the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their team's performance.

I cannot remember the last we had a single player who scored three different ways. For the effort of 148 passing yards for 2 touchdowns, 18 rushing yards for 1 touchdown, 1 reception for 7 yards and a touchdown, for a total of 32.42 points, the Week Thirteen MVT goes to Josh Allen (QB) of the Who Dat Nation Rises.


http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

[Gut Wrench]

WHO DAT COMPLICATES THE PLAYOFFS?
...Dat nation did.


Week Fourteen in the Subsim Fantasy Football league and we're getting down to the pointy end of the season. And at the point end of the season, there's hardly a reason to give space as the final two seeding are still undecided.

Let us go around the grounds and get the information needed to make an informed decision on the future of the league, right after this message.

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Our match of the day this week was the Black Cats hosting the Wasted Potential, and she was a beauty. The Waste had already secured the division and were only playing for ranking. The Black Cats having been bundled out of the Championship Bracket, were playing for home field advantage on the Consolation Series. The Waste were without their star Derrick Henry (RB) this week and this hurt their chances when the Cats Devonte Adams (WR) gave them a 31 point lead. The Cats and Waste exchanged the lead several times and late Sunday was looking like a big Cat upset. Not so fast, in a week where we saw multiple Defenses score negative points, it was the Jets (DEF) that took -1 points off the board for the Cats. Sam Darnold (QB) had to play the game of his career in order to chase the Cats down the final quarter. In a nail biting conclusion, the Wasted Potential narrowly defeat the Black Cats 129.98 - 128.32. Wow.

In the local English derby between the top and bottom of the league, The Banter Brigade were hosting the Bosses. The Bosses had already secured the division and were only fighting with the Wasted Potential for the top 2 seedings in what became a lopsided game. Despite not starting Lamar Jackson (QB) and two other players the Bosses only ran six (6) players out onto the field. The Banter, wanting to keep it fair also only ran six (6) players out onto the field, but their players were a lower caliber that the Bosses. It was Jamar Chase (WR) who stole the show and made up the difference, lifting the Bosses to a 117 - 76 win.

Across town, the Helmand Nighthawks were hosting divisional rivals the Drunk Monkeys in a must win game. Trailing a divisional rival by one game, the Nighthawks needed to put the Monkeys away early and hope for a favorable result in Oregon. The Nighthawks were outstanding with the waiver wire pick op of Zac Charbonnet putting up a debut of 44.30 points. the Monkeys still had Justin Jefferson (WR) who almost matched with a score of 38.20 points, but were not able assisted by the rest of the team. The Nighthawks complete the first part of the championship equation defeating the Drunk Monkeys 155 - 110.

Our final game of the week was the Who Dat Nation hosting the Australian Taipans. the Nation were fighting for one of the last playoffs positions and they fought tooth and nail in this game. Josh Allen (QB) was outstanding for the Nation scoring a record high individual score of 63.88 points. The Taipans chase saw all their players in double figures....except for the Bills (DEF) who scored -4 points. In the end, this shoot out was wild stretching into Monday night with Cee Dee Lamb (WR) lifting the Nation into the double century mark. Final score in Oregon the Who Dat Nation score 205 points to the Australian Taipans 161. (Scores that many points, still gets a loss.)

So with all the games out of the way the next to last week standings look like this.

The Wasted Potential and the Bosses are still squabbling over the #1 seed and home field advantage through the playoffs. The Taipans remain in the Championship bracket but its not clear whether they will be the #3 or #4 seed. And then it gets complicated. The Who Dat Nation at 8-6 hold a game advantage over divisional rivals the Helmand Nighthawks at 7-7. The Nation must win next week for if they loose and the Nighthawks win, the Nation will loose the countback. the Nighthawks on the other hand are win and wait on help. But they are going have to do it the hard way.

Our match of the day next week stays in England with the Helmand Nighthawks hosting the Wasted Potential. With the possibility of a championship play off berth on the line, the Nighthawks will need to win outright and wait for the result of other games before they know if they made the championship final, or even if they got in. Love it when the final seeding come down to the last week of the season.

Each week the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their team's performance.

For a come from behind performance, we find this weeks winner. For the effort of 14 receptions for 177 yards, 2 touchdowns and 14 rushing yard, for a total of 51.10 points, the Week Fourteen MVT goes to Jamare Chase (WR) of the Bosses team.

http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

[Gut Wrench]

REGULAR SEASON OVER
...final seeding set.

Week Fifteen the Subsim Fantasy Football league and it is the last week of the regular season. The last chance to make or break a fantasy season. We only had one seeding set before the start of the week and now we have them all. Lets go around the grounds and get the details on who's in, and the shock of who's out.

Right after this important message.


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Let's do this the right way and start with the games that have implications.

We'll start in Australia with the Taipans hosting the Bosses. Earlier this year the Taipans lost a thriller to the Bosses and were looking for revenge after scoring over 160 points last week....and still loosing. This week, the Taipans scored over 160 points again...and still lost. The Bosses came to play seeking the #1 seed and between La Mar Jackson (QB) and Mike Evans (WR) they put up almost 90 points on their own. The Taipans best show up was Baker Mayfield (QB) but they needed more than him. In a shoot out, and not as close as last time, the Boss defeat the Taipans 182 - 164. (All those points and they still lost - again.)

That was the first piece of the equation, the second and most important was the match of the day in England with the Helmand Nighthawks hosting the Wasted Potential. The Waste needed a win to secure the #1 seed in the league and home field advantage throughout. The Nighthawks needed a win...and some help, if they were going to make the Championship playoffs. This was a low scoring game with the best performers being Tee Higgins (19.8) for the Nighthawks and Sam Darnold (QB) scoring 13.24 for the Wasted Potential. The Nighthawks were lucky and had the luck of a failure by the Wasted Potential to help them to a 93 - 67 win.

That was the important part of the equation for the Nighthawks, and now the help they needed was to come at Twickenham with the Banter Brigade hosting the Who Dat Nation Rises.

It didn't come.

For the second time in two (2) weeks, the Who Dat Nation Rises put up over 200 points. This was always going to be a big ask for the #8 team but the Banter's best player was Jaycee Gibbs (RB) for 28 points was never going to be enough. In an extraordinary turn of speed in the last two (2) weeks, the Who Dat Nation Rises easily accounts for the Banter Brigade in a lopsided scoring, defeating them 217 - 118. The 217 points scored by the Nation is the highest score this season.

Our final game of the week was in Carolina with the Black cats hosting the Drunk Monkeys. In a battle for the #6 and #7 seeds, this was another lopsided game with Devonte Adams (WR) leading the way for the Cats. The Monkeys had Amon St. Brown (WR) help out with 48 points but was let down by a lack of scoring from the remainder of the team. This one got away early with the Black cats running out convincing winners 183 - 138.

So, with the regular season over, let's go to the final standings.

The Boss team and the Wasted Potential finish on top of the league with the best records of 11-4, and each team will win their division. The Boss team holds the count back decider, so they earn the #1 seed and get to stay at home throughout the playoffs. The Wasted Potential's loss in the last week relegates them to the #2 seed.

The Taipans have known for three (3) weeks they were the #3 seed.

And now comes the shock.

In the past two weeks, the Who Dat Nation Rises have outscored their opponents. Their furious points spree has given them two decisive wins lifting them to 9-6, the same record as the Taipans - but the Taipans hold the tie breaker. The Who Dat Nation Rises into the Championship bracket as the #4 seed.

Which means, the Helmand Nighthawks who finish the season at 8-6, earn the #5 seed. The Nighthawks have had the toughest schedule this year and for the first time in years, do not make the championship playoff. :o

The win in the last week is inclusive for the Black Cats who finish the season at 6-9 as the #6 seed. The Drunk Monkeys at 4-11 have the #7 seed, and the Banter brigade with 2-13 are the #8 seed.

Next weeks games.

The Bosses stay at home and welcome the Who Dat nation Rises. The Bosses have outscored everybody this year - except the Nation in the last two weeks. For a pair of ghost teams this will be an outstanding battle at Wembley.

The Wasted Potential, with Coach Casey in their first year with a new team advance to the championship against a known opponent, the Australian Taipans.

Also playing at Wembley this year, the Helmand Nighthawks as the #5 team will be hosting the Banter Brigade, while in Carolina the Black cats will welcome the Drunk Monkeys.

It doesn't matter what happens next week, we'll be there to cover all the games including the two scheduled for Saturday.

Each week the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their team's performance.

We could have taken one of two players just form the same team for this award, but we went with another player who secured their team one home field game in the play offs. For the effort of 9 receptions for 198 yards, 2 touchdowns and a 2 point conversion, for a total of 48.8 points, the Week Fifteen MVT goes to Devonte Adams (WR) of the Black Cats.

http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

[Gut Wrench]

BOSSES STOP THE NATION
...and advance to the Torpedo Bowl

Week Sixteen in the Subsim Fantasy Football league it's the first week of the playoffs. Who will make it to the Torpedo Bowl and who will remain in the Toilet Bowl. We get all those answers, right after we give you this very important message.


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We'll start at the top and work our way down the league ladder.

The Bosses stayed at home and welcomed the Who Dat Nation to Wembley. The Bosses have been a league leader all year but its been the Nation Rising in the past four weeks. The Bosses were too good across all facets of play with Jaylen Cook (RB) scoring 33 points. The Nation looked like they might be able to hunt the Bosses down but late on Monday night, Josh Jacobs (RB) just didn't get enough yards in his 20 point spree to secure the win. The Boss Team advance to the Torpedo Bowl with a win over the Who Dat Nation 163 - 151.

Our second game of the week saw the Australian Taipans travel to meet divisional rival the Wasted Potential. The Waste are Coach Casey's new team this year (we miss Ed Hochuli) and they have had the Taipans number in two meetings earlier in the year. Making claims from the waiver wire late Saturday and after three games were already underway was a bold move, and helped Sam Darnold (QB) lead the Waste. But it was the Taipans second running back, Chuba Hubbard who lifted the Taipans to shake of this years wasted hoodwink. For the third week in a row, the Taipans put up over 160 points, and this time, they don't loose. Final score in Pearland the Wasted Potential fall short of the Taipans 122 - 160.

The biggest upset of the year is the Helmand Nighthawks not making the Championship, but that was not going to stop Mister Chris from playing championship football. In the second game at Wembley this weekend, the Nighthawks hosted the Banter Brigade. The Banter only have two (2) wins for the season, both against championship seeded teams, so the Nighthawks needed to be cautious of their opponent. The Banter had Jaycee Gibbs (RB) scare the Nighthawks with an early 31 points, but it was Saquon Barkley (RB) and the unlikely Green Bay (DEF) which lifted the Nighthawks to new heights. The Nighthawks dispose of the Banter Brigade 140 - 112.

In Carolina, it was the Black Cats hosting the Drunk Monkeys in a bottom of the barrel consolation series. Both these teams have had minor victories throughout the year but this is probably about where they belong. Having said that, however, doesn't mean this was anything less than a good game. While the Cats Jaylen Hurts (QB) did nothing for 4.54 points, it was A.J. Brown (WR) scoring 23 points that started the Cats meowing. The Monkeys had Justin Jefferson (WR) champion the team with 42 points, but that was their only stand out for the week with San Fransisco (DEF) taking points off the board scoring -1. Final score in the Carolina's the Black Cats defeat the Drunk Monkeys 122 - 97.

So with those games in the book, here's how next weeks games look.

The Boss team will be hosting the Australian Taipans at Wembley for the Torpedo Bowl. The Bosses have won both of the regular season meetings between the two, but we'll see if the Taipans with the worst draft ever, can slither to one more championship, or will the Bosses get their first?

The Waste Potential will be hosting the Who Dat nation Rises for the bronze medal in Pearland, Texas. The Waste and Nation only met once during the regular season with the Waste getting the win.

In the consolation series, the Helmand Nighthawks stay at home at Wembley and welcome the Black Cats to play off for the #5 seed. The Toilet Bowl will be played with the Drunk Monkeys hosting the Banter Brigade for the worst record in the league.

And we'll be there at every game in order to come back and crown a new Torpedo Bowl Champion.

Each week the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their team's performance.

We haven't had this position take the MVT this year, and it's always a thrill when this position gets elevated for their work. For the effort of 3 sacks, 1 interception, 1 fumble recovered and zero points scored against for a total of 22 points, the Week Sixteen MVT goes to Green Bay (DEF) of the Helmand Nighthawks.

http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

[Gut Wrench]

TAIPANS SKIN THE BOSSES
...in a shock last to first rise.

It's Championship week in the Subsim Fantasy Football league and she's been a wild week too. We'll cover all the games, get the low down on who finished where and try to explain why, right after we give you this very important message.


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We'll start with the Torpedo Bowl and we'll work our way through the other games.

At Wembley, the #1 seed in the league the Bosses, were hosting their first appearance in the Torpedo Bowl, against the Taipans. The Taipans had the worst ever draft, lost their first two games of the season, lost both their running backs this weekend - one of them mid week after games had started, and still managed to put up a high score. The Bosses started the weekend with Lamar Jackson (QB) storming to an early 32 point lead. With the Taipans signing Ladd McKonley (WR) midday Friday, the Taipans were able to match the scoring and not lose.. Final score in the Torpedo Bowl, the Australian Taipans defeat the Bosses 185 - 144.

In the bronze medal game, the Wasted Potential were hosting the Who Dat Nation Rises. The Nation stormed through the last four games of the regular season decimating all before them, but Coach Casey with their new team were having none of that. The Waste had Sam Darnold (QB) score 37 points, which was partly matched by Devonte Admas (RB) with 36 points, but it was the absence of Ceedee Lamb (WR) that left a gap in the Nation scoring machine. In the end, the Wasted Potential in their first post season appearance came up with the goods defeating the Who Dat Nation Rises 158 - 130.

The first game in the Consolation Series saw the Helmand Nighthawks hosting the Black Cats. After s surprising miss for the Championship Series, the Nighthawks were never going to give the Cats a chance to purr and set about their systematic demolition. While Coach FYC went without a quarterback and the Jets (DEF) scored -4 points, this was always going to be "by how much". And it was huge. The Nighthawks punctuate their season with a convincing win over the Black Cats 175 - 80.

Our final game of the week was the Toilet Bowl of the Drunk Monkeys hosting the Banter Brigade. The Monkeys may have lost their mantle of "best damm 2-14 team" with the success of the Boss team, but that wasn't going to stop them getting flushed int he last game of the season. Terry McBridge (TE) was their lone stand out with 36 points, but it was going to take a team to stop the Banter. The Banter had Jaycee Gibbs score over 32 points, and then it was just the systematic scoring that downed the Monkeys at home. Elevating themselves to 7th and relegating the Drunk Monkeys to 8th (again), the Banter come home convincing winners 156 - 105.

Counting has already begin on the All Star team which will be announced around lunch time morning, USA time.

Each week the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their team's performance.

Our winner this week had the singe highest individual score, and also came from the Championship game. For the effort of 359 yards, 5 touchdowns and 2 rushing yards for 49.56 points, the Week Seventeen MVT goes to Baker Mayfield (QB) of the Australian Taipans.






http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

[Gut Wrench]

ALL STAR TEAM NAMED
...and a public announcement.

Here it is folks, the final column of the year fittingly, on New Years Eve. It's when we graciously thank our host Subsim.com and the many fans by presenting the 2024 All Star Team.

Let's get to the formalities, right after this message.

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This year's competition was a strange affair, a cloak and dagger, hunt and destroy type blockbuster. The honoree for the All Star Team comes not from their most famous role, but perhaps the role to which all of us at Subsim.com identify with...integrty.

Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW), I give you this years All Star Team....


THE JAMES EARL JONES ADMIRALS


https://static1.srcdn.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/James-Earl-Jones-in-naval-uniform-in-The-Hunt-for-Red-October-Cropped.jpg?q=70&fit=crop&w=750&h=422&dpr=1




QB: LaMar Jackson (Boss Team)

WR: Ja mar Chase (Boss Team)
Justin Jefferson (Drunk Monkeys)
Brian Thomas (Banter Brigade)

RB: Saquon Barkley (Helmand Nighthawks)
Derrick Henry (Wasted Potential)

TE: Brock Bowers (Wasted Potential)

K: Chris Boswell (Australian Taipans)

DEF: Denver (Australian Taipans)

Bench: Joe Burrow (Drunk Monkeys) Cee Dee Lamb (What Dat Nation Rises) Bijan Roberson (Black Cats) George Kittle (Australian Taipans) Cameron Dicker (Helmand Nighthawks)

So.... early this morning - and we had long suspected this - the Subsim Fantasy Football League ended. The league was sold off for two tickets to the USS Cavalla, a hot dog and a soda to an undisclosed buyer. The Subsim Fantasy league has run now for fourteen years - with its diehard players including Mister Chris (Helmand Nighthawks) emerging as the Bill Billicheck Honoree for best performing coach.

Congratulations Mister Chris.

Come July next year when practice starts, all the Subsim Fantasy Players will probably go off and play in the lower league of the NFL.


It's been an honor and privilege to write of the fantasy accounts of many of our teams, some no longer here, and some of the lasting memories (Tarjack taking the 49ers Defense in the first round being the most incredible).

To our readers, thank you for patronage and the many thousands of page views that we've had year after year.

And as we reach to turn the lights off, we thank Mister Stevens for creating the most fabulous community around where we could talk fantasy football in a subsim setting. We graciously tip our hat, bow, and head out of the room.


#thankyou.


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