This is the comment thread! pt II

[Onkel Neal]

And not to be confused with no comment thread, which was posted last year.The aim, with this thread is to be able to express themselves, with something that does not always belong to "them" regular headlines in the GT.

And it can be as simple things, like your wife/girlfriend, do not have seasoned your food enough, or you do not really have the same opinions on how you think your boss, the company employs you manage the work ... . or someone in your circle of people you know acting like a donkey.

Or that you simply are a bit off balance, and feel that now I have time off, to get some rest.

And that "someone" where you plug has been pain in your PC, or stashed your favorite movie or book.....So practically what is in the life! :DL

Continues from the old thread. (https://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=184195)

[Aktungbby]

Lose hope all ye that enter here!:k_confused::arrgh!:https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d6/Monster_in_Parco_dei_Mostri_%28Bomarzo%29.jpg/1280px-Monster_in_Parco_dei_Mostri_%28Bomarzo%29.jpg

[nikimcbee]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwXAIlYlkTo

[nikimcbee]

You could post in the old thread Aktung.....
if you only spoke Hovitos!:Kaleun_Thumbs_Up:

[Jimbuna]

I'll do the stupid thing first and then you shy people follow .

[Jimbuna]

How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.

[Gerald]

It takes less time to do one thing than to explain why everything went wrong.

[Jimbuna]

One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife!

[Eichhörnchen]

This was once very familiar to me when I was an Army Cadet - the Lee Enfield .303 no.4 service rifle. I became a marksman with this and shot for the Regiment at Bisley

https://i.imgur.com/MGoQLon.jpg

The 'leaf' sight seems to have been chopped off when someone cropped the photo (the combined battle sight and leaf sights flipped up & down). The short lever inside the trigger guard is the magazine-release

[Gerald]

The greatest right is the right to be wrong.

[Aktungbby]

This was once very familiar to me when I was an Army Cadet - the Lee Enfield .303 no.4 service rifle. ^ U braggadocios' dolt !:arrgh!: Real men shoot the .577 1858 2-band Enfield as carried in the Civil War https://www.subsim.com/radioroom/picture.php?albumid=815&pictureid=12622 :Kaleun_Salute: PS: I was 'Bisley":O: for an hour getting this unburied from my mancave gun locker-closet and rounding up the original 1800's Snyder bayonet that it mounted! Authentically rifled & ladder sighted, I competed with this cannon and used to march with it in 4th of July parades with my regiment :Kaleun_Salute: (photo to credit to my "belle of the Blue-Gay ball wife:yep:) Rule 1 of mid-19th-century combat: DO NOT get hit with a .577 Minie ball...https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSyN5lEz38TOEmTmqM2L_RzhYMZe181V yrtunwY-bUpLg&s< as at the bloodbath Picketts Charge, Gettysburg on this date: 7/3/1863...U will die. https://www.thoughtco.com/thmb/PuyesNnp-RjxqzGYe-UJb31lBao=/650x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc() :format(webp)/Picketts-Charge-Gettysburg-print-2500-56a487db5f9b58b7d0d76e1d.jpg ATTN moderator: perhaps these two posts would better suit in the gun thread!:salute:

[Jimbuna]

What I do when I see someone pretty is, I stare, I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down.

[Jimbuna]

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers.

[Catfish]

Calling this generation soft or weak because they are actually quitting toxic jobs ...
How is staying and licking your boss's boots every day for the rest of your life a show of courage exactly?

[Jimbuna]

What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!"

[mapuc]

​I sing so false, that even my cat put her paw up to my mouth-In way saying hush silence

Markus

[Jimbuna]

People say you can't live without love, but I think oxygen is more important.

[Jimbuna]

The secret of success is to go from mistake to mistake without losing your enthusiasm.

[Jimbuna]

Life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away.

[Jimbuna]

Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying.

[Jimbuna]

I believe there should be a better way to start each day... instead of waking up every morning.

[Jimbuna]

I can't wait for that to never happen.

[Skybird]

Lose hope all ye that enter here!:k_confused::arrgh!:
That refers to Dante, I suppose, the scripture over the entry to hell.
The interesting thing is, it is claimed that Dante mixed up his travel notes from which he transcribed the final version. The common publication in Italian orginal is

Voi che entrate, abbandonate ogni speranza - You who enter, abandon all hope.

But what the poet in truth wanted to write there, according to his notes, was this:

Lasciare andare ogni speranza e poi entrare - (First) Let go all hope, and then enter.

He who has no hope in his heart, cannot get disappointed or desperate, but he could get royally surprised.

I speak no Italian, I know these described facts, but used a reverse transalation by DppL to come to the Italian lines. But if memory does not completely fool me, they sound indeed like what I seem to recall. I first read about it in a book by Watzlawick, and then later again somewhere else, online.

[Jimbuna]

I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!

[Jimbuna]

A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.

[Jimbuna]

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't like the thought of being gone so long!

[Jimbuna]

Always run away from temptations... but slowly, so they can catch up to you.

[Jimbuna]

The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.

[Jimbuna]

I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.

[Jimbuna]

Life is a pretty cheezy game, but at least it has good graphics.

[blackswan40]

getting more bang for your buck $

When visiting your local brothel and you enquire about the prices and you are imformed $1 for the rocking chair or $10 for the bed you hand over two $5 bills then your are asked so you want the bed then you reply no thankyou i would prefer ten goes in the rocking chair :D

[Jimbuna]

When a door closes another door should open, but if it doesn't then go in through the window.

[Aktungbby]

/\...whic is why "Virginia is for Louvers!":yeah: is on the license plates!??:O:

[Jimbuna]

A girl called me once and said "come over, nobody is home!" I went there and she was right, nobody was home!

[mapuc]

Jealousy show it's ugly face now and then.

Markus

[Jimbuna]

I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

[Jimbuna]

The richer you get, the more expensive happiness becomes.

[Jimbuna]

A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.

[Jimbuna]

Bathroom sign above toilet: It's like basketball, the basket is bigger than the ball! Learn to score properly!

[Jimbuna]

What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine.

[Jimbuna]

I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking.

[Jimbuna]

Some of the greatest ideas of all time have come to people during Math class... none of which had anything to do with Math.

[Jimbuna]

When I stare at the sky, I see you. When I stare out into the ocean, I see you. When I'm looking at the moon, I see you. Geez! Would you move aside, you're constantly getting in my way!

[Jimbuna]

Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted to get it for you, but then I realized it's my own reflection!

[Jimbuna]

To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you.

[Jimbuna]

A few days ago I lost my weapon of Math instruction... my trusty pocket calculator.

[Jimbuna]

I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.

[Jimbuna]

Happiness: The emotion that puts your face in motion. Fear: The emotion that puts your legs in motion. Anger: The emotion that puts your fist in motion. Lesson: Don't be afraid or angry and you won't have to run and fight.

[Catfish]

You can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or in a while.

[Jimbuna]

Me: For the first time in life, things seem to be getting better.

Life: LOL, give me a second!

[Jimbuna]

A zooology teacher asks the class 'What is the one animal in the jungle that a lion is afraid of?' The class answers: a lioness.

[Jimbuna]

Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone.

[Jimbuna]

What is the difference between having a cold beer and going to the bathroom? About 35 minutes.

[Jimbuna]

Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying xyz airlines, we hope you enjoyed your flight as much as we enjoyed taking your money. Please remember to take all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among crew members.

[Jimbuna]

When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess.

[Jimbuna]

Finding a treasure is like working on algebra equations, all you have to do is find the X.

[Jimbuna]

Most of us don't realize it, but we're all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we're all connected in some way, not just through Facebook.

[Jimbuna]

You can talk to yourself and you can answer yourself, but if feel the need to pardon yourself, that's when you know something's wrong.

[Jimbuna]

After (M)onday and (T)uesday comes WTF !

[Jimbuna]

Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend.

[Jimbuna]

You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.

[Jimbuna]

A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest. - coolfunnyquotes.com

[Jimbuna]

Why do you always see lightning first and hear the thunder later? Because your eyes are in front of your ears.

[Jimbuna]

I always try to cheer myself up by singing when I get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems.

[Jimbuna]

When I tried to do a search for marital advise on Google, it tried to finish my sentence for me, just like my wife does.

[Jimbuna]

A fisherman who just caught a huge salmon reels the fish in, looks at the fish and says 'I am taking you for tonight's dinner!' The fish replies 'I already ate, can we go somewhere else?'

[Catfish]

Facts have a well known liberal bias.

[Jimbuna]

What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute!

[Jimbuna]

If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?

[Jimbuna]

One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, that way if something goes wrong I have somebody to blame other than myself.

[Jimbuna]

Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!

[Jimbuna]

When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed.

[Jimbuna]

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

[Jimbuna]

A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.

[Jimbuna]

Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real.

[Jimbuna]

An adult is a person who no longer grows in height, but instead grows in length and width.

[Jimbuna]

Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date.

[mapuc]

You can not sell what you do not own

Markus

[Jimbuna]

According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings.

[Catfish]

Some say their body is a temple. It often looks like one in Thailand, where those monkeys sh!t all over the place.

[Jimbuna]

When is yelling during a robbery a bad idea? When you have gold teeth.

[Jimbuna]

The best advise I have for all my teachers during a test is to pass the test out as fast as possible before I forget everything.

[Jimbuna]

When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad.

[Catfish]

Due to high copper prices and low budget NASA may finally cut the wires that they have been spooling out to communicate with Voyager 1 and 2

[Jimbuna]

A bikini is like a barbed wire fence. It protects the property without obstructing the view.

[Jimbuna]

When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner.

[Eichhörnchen]

https://i.imgur.com/xhsqO1C.jpg

[Catfish]

^ :rotfl2::rotfl2:

[Jimbuna]

I tried that yesterday Kai and I'm obviously missing something :doh:

[Jimbuna]

Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, 'Send one of my bags to New York, one to Los Angeles, and one to Miami.' She said, 'We can't do that!' I told her, 'You did it last week!'

[Catfish]

I tried that yesterday Kai and I'm obviously missing something :doh:
In case you are not joking, Eich is a very mean person* :haha:
Did you trust him to turn the picture?

* of course I am joking here :D

[Jimbuna]

I turned it 180 degrees yes.

[Catfish]

Unless you want to make fun of me .. :D
(You should not have trusted the caption)

[Jimbuna]

Rgr that :)

[Jimbuna]

I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.

[Jimbuna]

I think I've discovered the secret of life, you just hang around until you get used to it.

[mapuc]

( I put it here-No reason to start a new thread. See it as a comment)

These people has always earphone on them-Here a voice is saying..inhale....exhale.

None of this has anything even remotely to do with American politics, but that didn't stop a QAnon Telegram channel from insisting that Charles signed "a proclamation stating that Donald Trump won the 2020 Presidential election and is the rightful President by law."

https://www.comicsands.com/qanon-charles-proclamation-trump-president-2658207405.html

If it doesn't fit here-Then erase it.

Markus

[Jimbuna]

Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs.

[Jimbuna]

The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?'

[Jimbuna]

Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits.

[Aktungbby]

/\ precisely what my sig's quote attempts to convey...:yeah:

[Jimbuna]

After a lot of research, scientists have concluded that the most vitamins are found in the pharmacy.

[mapuc]

Due to rising electricity bills, there will not be light in the end of tunnel

Markus

[Catfish]

^ :haha: good one

[Jimbuna]

Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up.

[Jimbuna]

If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.

[Jimbuna]

Stop worrying about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.

[Jimbuna]

The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!

[Jimbuna]

Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry.

[Jimbuna]

If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.

[mapuc]

I only needs to walk around 100 meters in one direction to become outstanding in a field

Markus

[Jimbuna]

I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making.

[Catfish]

My studies in speculative philosophy, metaphysics and science
are all summed up in one image:
Of a mouse called man, running in and out of every hole in the cosmos
hunting for the Absolute Cheese.

[Jimbuna]

The best revenge is massive success.

[Jimbuna]

The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.

[Jimbuna]

I always intended to pay for my sins, but I could never afford it.

[Jimbuna]

I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.

[Jimbuna]

Don't disturb me, I am disturbed enough already.

[Jimbuna]

In life, we must find happiness. I've been looking everywhere and still haven't found it.

[Jimbuna]

Being angry is not necessarily bad, some the best things were invented by angry people. Lamborghini didn't produce a single car until Enzo Ferrari made him angry.

[Jimbuna]

Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find?

[Jimbuna]

Retirement is great, you get to be your own boss and tell yourself to do nothing all day.

[Jimbuna]

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.

[Jimbuna]

Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find?

[Jimbuna]

The first person who decided to say a word instead of throwing a rock can be considered the starter of civilization.

[Jimbuna]

I love making friends. I usually prefer to make them out of plaster and give them funny looking hats.

[Eichhörnchen]

The 'Who What Where' thread is about to slip down to page 2 because no-one can think of a popular Brit TV sci-fi series that stretches back to the 1960s and features a time-travelling lead with long line of pretty sidekicks

[Jimbuna]

Stick a clue up and hopefully that'll revive it.

[Jimbuna]

You never run out of things that can go wrong.

[Jimbuna]

The hardest thing to find in life is happiness - money is only hard to find because it gets wasted trying to find happiness.

[Jimbuna]

Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on.

[Jimbuna]

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

[Jimbuna]

You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.

[Jimbuna]

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

[Aktungbby]

You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.Life is an adventure....'till it's not!??

[Aktungbby]

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? Not to a two-fisted swiller! who can't tell time!:shucks: https://odditymall.com/includes/content/upload/double-beer-mug-5528.jpg https://i5.walmartimages.com/asr/ea9194cc-7039-4355-8fe6-5110557cfd65.b46060524d00bf99979c5ed7a36a5e64.jpeg

[Jimbuna]

Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.

[Shady Bill]

I stumbled onto this article a few hours ago, about 12 Jungian Archetypes. Carl Jung. Never looked into the man till now but he might be onto something? :hmmm: It feels eerily accurate.


I never really understood the term I realized.


Hope this is allowed in this thread, it feels like a "comment".


https://personality-psychology.com/guide-12-jungian-archetypes-popularized-by-the-hero-and-the-outlaw/

[Jimbuna]

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.

[Jimbuna]

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.

[Jimbuna]

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

[Jimbuna]

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice' ?

[Jimbuna]

I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.

[Jimbuna]

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

[Jimbuna]

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

[Jimbuna]

If there is a wrong way to do something, then someone will do it.

(Murphy's Law)

[Jimbuna]

The most important four words for a successful marriage: 'I'll do the dishes.'

[Jimbuna]

There was a time when people said, 'Jim, if you keep on making faces, your face will freeze like that.' Now they just say, 'Pay him!'

[Jimbuna]

When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it.

[mapuc]

(a Politician slogan) I'll kiss your butt until I get elected, then you can kiss mine.

Markus

[Jimbuna]

The world today doesn't make sense, so why should I paint pictures that do?

[Jimbuna]

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

[Jimbuna]

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

[Jimbuna]

The last thing that blew my mind was the wind.

[Jimbuna]

A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up.

[Eisenwurst]

Miss Puerto Rico married Miss Argentina. :yeah:

[Jimbuna]

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

[Jimbuna]

Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years.

[Jimbuna]

The only English words I saw in Japan were Sony and Mitsubishi.

[Jimbuna]

Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn't seen my big screen TV.

[Jimbuna]

If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.

[Jimbuna]

God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.

[Jimbuna]

I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police car.

[Jimbuna]

I live my life one weekend at time, for those two days nothing else matters, I am FREE.

[Jimbuna]

Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.

[Jimbuna]

A joke is a very serious thing.

[Jimbuna]

After many years of studying my Geography book I finally know by heart that Australia is on page 23.

[Jimbuna]

In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria.

[Jimbuna]

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

[Eisenwurst]

Not really a comment...just a link to some great military related artwork from a famous painter of the "Tora Tora Tora" movie publicity paintings.

https://www.mccallstudios.com/tora-tora-tora/

Might be unknown to some here, but well known to others...:)

[Jimbuna]

They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

[Jimbuna]

The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist.

[Jimbuna]

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

[Jimbuna]

I have the worlds largest seashell collection. You may have seen it, I keep it spread out on beaches all over the world.

[Jimbuna]

If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'

[Jimbuna]

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

[Jimbuna]

You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.

[Jimbuna]

Don't be stupid, it might make you famous.

[Jimbuna]

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

[Catfish]

The biggest danger of taking your child to a drag show is that a christian could show up with a gun.

[Jimbuna]

The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following.

[Jimbuna]

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

[Jimbuna]

I'm not afraid of flying, I'm afraid of not flying.

[Jimbuna]

It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.

[mapuc]

When you're young, speed and adrenaline seem amazing. But as you get older and wiser, you learn that security and peace of mind are more important.
This is called S.O.S. (slow, old, smart)

Markus

[Jimbuna]

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

[Jimbuna]

Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution?

[Jimbuna]

I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say.

[Jimbuna]

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

[Jimbuna]

Whether you give a crap or don't give a crap, nobody wants crap anyway!

[Catfish]

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

[Jimbuna]

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

[Catfish]

It is so cool that everything in the entire world is now made of cheap garbage that becomes useless in two years
and can't be repaired, but takes 2,000 years to decompose
and 1000s of kilograms of carbon emissions to make.

[Jimbuna]

That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another....

[mapuc]

It was not 12/21/12 the world would come to an end-It's 12/21/22

Markus

[Jimbuna]

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.

[Jimbuna]

Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.

[Jimbuna]

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

[Catfish]

"To hunt mushrooms, you have to think like a mushroom."
(Swedish proverb)

[Jimbuna]

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear.

Dave Barry

[Jimbuna]

I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing.

[mapuc]

(Didn't know where to put it-because I don't want to start a new thread)

Tonight 85-90 % of us will for a brief moment at 19.56 be ingulfed in darkness

"According to our calculations, the moment of maximum darkness happens on Tuesday, December 6, 2022, at 19:56," they write on their website.

"At that instant, the sky will be completely dark for about 85.92 percent of the world’s population as the night reigns across the three most populous continents: Asia, Africa, and Europe (with very minor exceptions)."

https://www.iflscience.com/for-a-brief-moment-today-90-percent-of-humanity-will-be-engulfed-in-darkness-66517

Markus

[Jimbuna]

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.

[Jimbuna]

Newspaper Ad: Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!!

[Jimbuna]

I love my job only when I'm on vacation.

[Jimbuna]

Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

[mapuc]

I was chewing on a steak-Oh manner was it very dry and though to chew...then I woke up and...I was chewing on my pillow

Markus

[Jimbuna]

Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer.

[Jimbuna]

Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog. - coolfunnyquotes.com

[Jimbuna]

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.

[Jimbuna]

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.

[Jimbuna]

The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.

[Catfish]

Fox News:
A billionaire hires millionaires to explain to the middle class that all their problems come from poor people.

[Jimbuna]

Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'

[Jimbuna]

Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.

[Jimbuna]

The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.

[Jimbuna]

Smile today, tomorrow could be worse.

[Catfish]

Be happy and pray they said, it could become worse.

So i was happy and prayed and it became worse.

[Jimbuna]

Love is like playing bridge, if you don't have a good partner, it's good to at least have a good hand.

[Jimbuna]

If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.

[Jimbuna]

Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.

[Jimbuna]

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are three billion to one.

[Jimbuna]

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

[Jimbuna]

Intelligence is chasing me, but I'm beating it so far.

[Jimbuna]

If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.

[Jimbuna]

Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.

[Jimbuna]

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

[Jimbuna]

You're born free, then you're taxed to death.

[Jimbuna]

Newspaper ad: Hiring clowns, must be serious.

[Jimbuna]

What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna pee on myself.

[Jimbuna]

To be a good hunter you need good eyes, a steady hand, and a loud voice so you can yell for help when you're in a tree top.

[Jimbuna]

Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals.

[Jimbuna]

I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too.

[Jimbuna]

When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!!

[Eisenwurst]

For me the Subsim Calendar is stuck on December 2022 and won't move forward....Anyone else having this problem??

[mapuc]

For me the Subsim Calendar is stuck on December 2022 and won't move forward....Anyone else having this problem??

He's clever he has made the calendar so...so...you have to download an addon to your calendar so it moves forward to January 2023-Problem is this addon cost 4 times more than the calendar cost.

Markus

[Jimbuna]

To make time fly, throw your watch out the window.

[Jimbuna]

When is the longer way always better than the shorter one? When you're a taxi driver.

[Jimbuna]

Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there.

[Jimbuna]

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

[Jimbuna]

There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer.

[mapuc]

....or use your spare time on Subsim forum.

Markus

[Jimbuna]

Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control.

[Jimbuna]

The difference between running and walking is a lot more apparent when you have to go to the bathroom.

[Jimbuna]

Growing up is amazing, until you get old!

[Jimbuna]

I once finished first on my running team, then the coach asked me where everyone else is.

[Jimbuna]

When I saw the monkeys at the zoo it reminded me of watching political debates on TV.

[Jimbuna]

Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red!

[Jimbuna]

Why was the rabbit chasing the frog? Because the frog kept calling out "riaabit.. riabbit.."

[Catfish]

Scientists claim to have found the first transgender whale.
They have named it Maybe Dick.