2019 Subsim Fantasy Football Season [Archive]

Gut Wrench

09-09-19, 09:50 PM

Nighthawks Take Off
Gunners Sound Off

Here we go folks, it's Week One in the Subsim Fantasy Football League.

But all the action happened before we even got to week one

After the draft was completed at Ayers Rock, the largest rock in the middle of the Australian continent, there were murmurings, discord, and chatter.

We'll dissect and analyze in such detail, you may not have even heard of some of the issues that have surrounded the week. But before we get to Antonio Brown, this is something else you need to hear.

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Last year it was Le'von Bell, this year, is the Antonio Brown tempter tantrum.

Let's go back over the events that lead to the start of week one.

Brown has taken out a Subsim.com MVP (Most Valuable Torpedo) in each of the last five years, and ended up on the All Star team, was subject of chatter at Draft Day when the Helmand Nighthawks drafted him. Media microphones on top of the rock picked up the following conversations from Brown.

"The Helmand who? I'm not playing for them."

"Give me more money."

"Don't fine me for asking for more money."

"I want a trade away."

And the headline last Saturday; "If I don't get my way, I won't play."

Our Commissioner has intervened on very few matters in the preceding years once the draft is complete. This year was different. Brown recorded the Commissioner's telephone call on the now infamous "secret hotline".

Commissioner: Listen you little prick. The Nighthawks drafted you, you're playing for the Nighthawks until Mister Chris decides that your ass is no longer wanted. Do you understand me?

Brown:Yes sir. I'll fall in line sir. Don't beat me again, sir.

The Commissioner has denied beating Brown with a stick.

After concluding the conversation, the Commissioner placed Brown on the "Physically Unable to Shut the F *** up" List" (PUTSTFU), rendering him ineligible for Week One. The Commissioner called the coach of the Nighthawks to advise of the league decision, to which Mister Chris responded "Eh, I won't need him anyway this week."

Mister Chris was right!

The Nighthawks have owned Week One in the Subsim.com league, and they were our Game of the Week. Last year they were matched up against the Who Dat Nation. This year, they had the Who Dat Nation matched up again, but as the higher finishing team, they were playing again at home in Wembley Stadium, England. The Nighthawks got off to shaky start on Thursday night with Aaron Rodgers (QB), but it was the workhorse load of Cam McCaffrey (RB) that carried the brute force of this legacy team. The Nation had most of their players stacked to play Monday Night and despite Drew Brees (QB) throwing for over 350 yards (again), the 110 point lead that the Nighthawks held before the start of the day was just too much. Not even Drew Brees (QB) final 30 second drive and a career long 58 yards from Will Lutz (K) was enough. The Nation come up short as they attempt to run down the Nighthawks, who end up winning the game 147 - 143.

The furthermost point on the planet away from Wembley, quite possible would be the home field of the Australian Taipans as they hosted the Black Cats. The Cats were making their first opening week trip to Australia and arrived early to get used to the cold. While playing in the snow is not uncommon in the USA, this game was played against the backdrop of devastating bushfires licking the perimeter of the Taipans ground. The Cats drafted Matt Ryan (QB) this year and from early one, Ryan was in trouble. The Vikings (DEF) for the Taipans held Ryan to nothing, until the second to last play of the game. Ryan was able to connect for a touchdown which put him over 300 yards for the day, barely. Would those 12 points come back to haunt the Taipans? You bet they did. The Taipans started the game as underdogs, and their running back combination let them down, while they left almost over 50 points on the bench. While the Taipans were able to claw back into the game, Matt Ryan's (QB) last throw efforts would eventually sink the Taipans in their first home opener. Black Cats win the match 160-152.

Our final game of the week was last years Most Incredible Comeback team of the Drunk Monkeys hosting the Guns of Hochuli. The Gunners are the historically stronger team but the Monkeys showed everyone last year that they know how to win the regular season - and with some more discipline, they could have potentially swept the league. The Gunners handed the Monkeys one of the few losses last season, and this year, the Gunners were out to cannon their way back to the top of the league. Deandre Hopkins (WR) was the highest scorer the Gunners, but they didn't need to set any records, beating the Monkeys by outscoring them in every position. The Gunners put up the highest score in the league for the week, and it wasn't even close. The Cats get skinned by the Gunners 174-103.

So after Week One - where do we stand?

Half the league is 0-1, the other half is 1-0.

Next week, we come back to the USA as the Who Dat Nation head back to Oregon for their home opener against the Guns of Hochuli. The Gunners lead the league in scoring after the first week, but with all those Saints on the Nation, that's an explosive scoring team.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For only the second time, Antonio Brown (WR) is not going to receive the opening week MVT. For the effort of 313 passing yards, 3 touchdowns and 5 rushing yards, for a total score of 36.52 points, the opening weeks MVT goes to Carson Wentz (QB) of the Guns of Hochuli.

http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

Gut Wrench

09-16-19, 10:17 PM

...And Then There Was Only One
Black Cats Only Undefeated

Standby and get ready to hoist sail as Week 2 in the Subsim Fantasy Football League gets underway.

However, once again, we have to go back to the off field drama this week before we can get to the important stuff.

But before we get to that, make sure you get to this.

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Remember how last week the Commissioner put Antonio Brown (WR) of the Helmand Nighthawks on the PUTSTFU list? How we thought that the Commissioner wouldn't go any further and handed the matter over to the Coach of the Nighthawks, Mister Chris?

Don't get on the buss yet, cause there more drama drama unfolding as it was revealed this week, not only could Brown not STFU, he was also unable to put a coherent sentence together to a message to his "friend with benefits", that wasn't his significant other.

The league is still reviewing their "Incoherent Ramblings" policy in relation to Brown, so he was free to play. This week. And play he did. Brown only caught one catch for the Nighthawks as they visited the Black cats for the first of several meetings this year, but it was a blinder - 56 yards. The Nighthawks started their alternate quarter back, Tom Brady who enjoyed throwing the first TD to Brown, who apparently, while running down the sideline, could not keep his mouth shut. Black Cat fans were none too impressed at the "jawing" by Brown, Saquon Barkley (RB) lead the Cats running game while, once again, Julio Jones (WR) proved that that age was no barrier as he caught two (2) receiving touchdowns. Not bad for a guy approaching 400 years of age. For the second week in a row, Black Cats narrowly edge out their opposition, this time the Nighthawks, 155-151, and establish themselves as the league leading undefeated team.

Last year, the dominant team was the Drunk Monkeys. They won everything....well, just about everything, except the second last game of the year which put them into the Consolation final. The Monkeys, as we've reported over the years, are the best damm team to not show up for the league, and it looks like this year will be no exception. After a dominating performance in Week One, the Monkeys returned to their home opener and received a schooling in football from the Australian Taipans. After narrowly being defeated last week, making the long trip over the Pacific, and then crossing the country, the Taipans came to get their defense of the Torpedo Bowl back on track. This game was close, with O'dell Beckham Junior (WR) scoring 34 points late Monday night. Not starting David Njoku (TE) probably cost the Monkeys an unliely win. Australian Taipans narrowly defeat the Drunk Monkeys 146-136.

Our Match of the Day was back in the lush colors of Oregon. The Who Dat Nation after suffering a narrow defeat in Week One, were wanting to ensure their home field advantage came into play. And there was some elements in this game which made the final outcome swing back and forth. The Nations launched a juggernaut with the Patriots (DEF) giving the Nation a handy lead. Coach Casey, renown for their strength of fielding ultra competitive teams that respond to adversity, countered with perhaps the #1 player at their position, Travis Kelsy (TE) scoring 29 points. Unfortunately, a late decision to leave Tyree Hill (WR) on the team despite sustaining an injury at the Wednesday Night Beer Pong tournament, would have put this game out of reach. However, Who Dat Nation starting QB, Drew Brees, cut his finger opening a beer can (the steel type, not the aluminum type) n the sideline after the first exchange, ruling him out of the game. Brees (QB) may be out for some time, but the team had accumulated enough points to get in front of the Gunners. Final score, Who Dat Nation 127 - 116.

Get your calculators out folks, cause here we are in week two with a mess already. Let's run through the table and see if we can give you some clarity.

At the top of the leader board are the Black Cats at 2-0. The own both the league and the significantly harder Sub Simmers division. The Nighthawks, Gunners, Who Dat Nation and Taipans are all 1-1. Its quite possible that each of these four teams will make the playoffs, but it's more likely that one will miss out. (Yes, we are already taking about the playoffs in week 2!) The Drunk Monkeys are 0-2, but, they are only one win away from leveling the field. The combination of the favorite teams running at 1-1 after two weeks hasn't allowed anyone to show up following injuries. The Nation may be the first, having to use their #2 QB, Baker Mayfield, if the beer cut of Brees doesn't heal.

Next week, we head across the continent to the home field of the Guns of Hoculi as they welcome the Helmand Nighthawks to town. Both team are equally positioned in the league but with favorable results in other games, one of these two teams could be the new league leader come Monday night. As always, we'll be there to keep you up to date on all the scores. And as we're learning, anything that Antonio Brown touched.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

It's been a while since we've done this. There were some outstanding performances this week, including one from a QB that was super impressive. But, for the first time since Week 6 in 2017, it's not going to be a single player that receives this award. For the effort of 7 sacks, 4 interceptions, 2 defensive touchdowns and 0 points scored, for a total score of 42 points, the week two MVT goes to New England (DEF) of the Who Dat Nation.

http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

Gut Wrench

09-23-19, 10:20 PM

Antonio...You Are Releaved
Black Cats No Longer Undefeated

There is never a shortage of news in the Subsim Fantasy Football league, both on and off the field. We'll go over all the news form around the league that happened at 4.50pm on Friday

But before we get to that, make sure you get to this.

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Antonio Brown thank you for your service, but your services are no longer required.

Recall that last week Brown (WR) caught a touchdown pass, well, this week he's catching the bus to the unemployment line. The Commissioner has taken the situation out of the hands of Mister Chris, Coach of the Helmand Nighthawks by removing him form the league.

"We fell that the league needs to progress in another direction."

Commissioner Pioneer said as he ripped up Brown's contract at 4.50pm last Friday. Brown was retained by the Nighthawks through the weekend but was not scheduled to play. Interestingly, Coach Chris is not searching for a wide receiver, but rather, a Tight End. Does Mister Chris have something else up his sleeve? Let's look at his game this week.

Gunners finally return home to face the Nighthawks. Nighthawks came to play though, bringing their elderly and still in a wheelchair QB, Tom Brady. Brady rolled around the turf in his new electric wheelchair as the running back duo of Cam McCaffrey and Dante Cook just ran over the Gunners. Carson Wenzt (QB) attempted to right the ship but the wide receiving corps failed to score. In the end, the lack of offense by the Guns of Hochuli made for a bitter homecoming as the Nighthawks just ran rough shot over them, setting a the highest score of the year. A nasty slap to the Gunners already has whispers about the Nighthawks being the team to beat this year. In the biggest blow out of the week, Helmand Nighthawks slaughter the Guns of Hochuli 218 - 131.

Our quietest Coach of the year, so far, has been Coach Thad of the Drunk Monkeys. The Monkeys have historically, not shown up until somewhere between the third and fifth week of the season. Giving up that many potential wins is incredible as they have narrowly lost games with a little more accurate bus schedule, could have gotten them to the game on time. This week is no exception. Monkeys were hosting the Who Dat Nation, who, last week was decimated by an injury to their starting QB, Drew Brees. Coach Fuel for Blood called up their #2, Dak Prescott (QB) to hold the team together while their starter got healthy. Coach Thad though, was in the box seat with Deshawn Watson (QB), but, also like last week, they started their missing TE. Playing a man down, against the Nation, the Drunk Monkeys were never going to get close enough to challenge. Yet another missed opportunity for the Monkeys to steal a win, the Who Dat Nation went all the way and reversed that, rightfully maintaining their dominance. Final score Who Dat Nation defeat the Drunk Monkeys 174 - 114.

If you were watching the broadcast of the Black cats hosting the Australian Taipans, depending on when you changed channel, the end result may come as a surprise for you. Two weeks ago the Cats traveled across the globe and narrowly defeated the Taipans at their home opener. This week, the Taipans return and jumped out to a big lead with Patrick Mahonnes (QB). As they did two weeks ago, the Black Cats did not go down without a purr, as Matt Ryan (QB) made his final pass to Julio Jones (WR) putting Ryan (QB) over 300 yards, and Jones (WR) for 100 yards. With Sequan Barkley (RB) on the team, you would assume that the Cats would just run away, but when Barkley tripped over a ball of yarn, injuring himself, the cats turned to pussies. The Taipans slithered back into the equation, when Keenan Allen (WR) put up career scoring points. The Cats couldn't stop the onslaught and while the score indicates a blow up, this was one of those games that went back and forth. Final score Australian Taipans defeat the Black Cats 189 - 149.

So with three weeks down, the Black Cats loss means that the 72 Dolphins are opening champagne a lot earlier this year, as no team will go undefeated. But, have we got a log jam at the top of the schedule.

The entire Sub Simmers division of the Helmand Nighthawks, the Black Cats and the Who Dat Nation lead the league at 2-1. As if that wasn't a log jam, the Australian Taipans make it a four way tie, with them also being 2-1. The Guns of Hochuli are one game back at 1-2 and the Drunk Monkeys occupy the cellar at 0-3. Remarkably, the Monkeys could be 3-0 but for one player each week.

Next week, we head across the pond to Wembley Stadium for a top of the table battle as the Helmand Nighthawks host the Australian Taipans. The British Isles have not been favorable to the Taipans but with the drama that the Nighthawks have had with Antonio Brown (WR) who knows what disruption that may occur. But we'll be there to cover every play.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

Hard to overlook the leading point scoring of the week when you're team puts up the highest score of the year. For the effort of 11 receptions for 113 yards and 2 touchdowns, for a total score of 39.20 points, the week Three MVT goes to Cooper Kupp (WR) of the Helmand Nighthawks

http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

Gut Wrench

09-30-19, 10:16 PM

Underdogs Rise
...and nothing But Bad News for Antonio.

Week Four in the Subsim Fantasy Football league, and Vegas is furious. If you were backing all the favorites this week, well, do we have bad news for you. If you were thinking that we'd have no mention of Antonio Brown, well, do we have bad news for you.

Let's get down to the tin tacks and runs those stats across the board and find out what our superstars did this weekend.

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No Antonio, you are not one of the Superstars. As reported last week, Brown (WR) was still on the Permanently Unable to Shut The F!@# Up list with the Helmand Nighthawks, but early in the week, with little to no fan fare, Brown was let go.

Bye bye Antonio.

For those of you that thought that the Helmand Nighthawks were going to miss Antonio Brown, have we got bad news for you. Nighthawks hosted their oceanic counterparts the Australian Taipans in a top of the table battle. The Nighthawks did not enter the game as favorites - which is a little strange given the rivalry of the two teams. Didn't matter to Aaron Rodgers (QB) though who started with his best performance of the year on Thursday night. (I guess Danica Patrick wasn't in town to distract him.) The Taipans had Pat Mahomes (QB) who responded, but not with the same gusto that the Taipans have shown in their previous games. Once again, the Nighthawks had the Patriots (DEF) show up and put up some big points. This game was all over by Monday night, when it looked like Ju Ju Smith - Schuster (WR) would turn the Nighthawks score into a landslide. Smith - Schuster barely showed up, but it's not like the Nighthawks needed it. Nighthawks obliterate the Taipans 184 - 135.

Coach Casey of the Guns of Hochuli has fired the first salvo in their run to the championship, taking on the more highly favored Who Dat Nation. Casey has been quiet in the first few weeks, with their pure mathematical approach. A change of player here, adjusted teams there, just systematically putting together game plans for the opposition. This week their opponents were the Nation who right from the onset had the Nation behind on thew scoreboard. Who Dat Nation fans knew that the game would be close and may have expected Dak Prescott (QB) to produce a game winning driver, but Prescott failed to deliver handing the Gunners a cheap win. Gunners run out clock to beat the Who Dat Nation 149 - 126.

Our third and final game produced our first thriller and rewrite of the season. The Drunk Monkeys, despite being 0-3, were heavily favored to sink the Black Cats alive. Coach Thad has assured the press that the "team is alive". Probably on life support, but there is a pulse. Monkeys Devonte Adams (RB) lead the charge scoring almost 40 points, but it was the star O'dell Beckham who threw a cog into the work only making two catches. This opened the door for the Black cats, who despite leaving Seyqon Barkley (RB) and Greg Kittle (TE) on the advertised team, despite their very publicized auditions for Dancing with The Stars of the Voice for Americas Got Talent Show. Come Monday Night, Coach FYC, who is yet to make an appearance on any field, only needed James Connor (RB) to have a mediocre day in order to win. Black Cats, with their last player on the field, managed to stay in front of the Monkeys to cause the third upset and underdog win of the week. Final score, Black Cats 119 narrowly beat out the Drunk Monkeys 111.

So what does this do for the league as we reason the end of the first quarter of the season? We'll take it apart piece by piece and try and reassemble it into a Subsim format.

The Helmand Nighthawks and the Black Cats have the best record in the league at 3-1 and sit 1-2 in the league, and in their division. The Cats surprising climb above the Who Dat Nation has come without a public appearance of their Coach. If the Cats go much deeper into the season and continue to win without their coach, perhaps that's their winning formula? The Who Dat Nation at 2-2 come in as the #3 seed, meaning, the entire Sub Simmers Division would advance to the play offs if the season were to end now.

Over in the Surface Skimmers Division, the Guns of Hochuli and the Australian Taipans with records equal to the Nation at 2-2, occupy the #4 and the #5 position. The loss by the Taipans dropped them form a countback as the league leader to the #5 position. The Gunners and the Taipans have separated themselves form the Drunk Monkeys, who despite still being win less at 0-4, are only two games out of the chase. Not an unsurmountable task

Next week, we go back to Carolina to see if Coach FYC will make an appearance as the Black Cats host the Guns of Hochuli. With the two teams have an equal record right int e middle of the league, the winner of this game, with some favorable results elsewhere, could elevate themselves to outright leader of the league, or alternatively, drop themselves out of a playoff position into 5th place.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

When you lift your team from being the underdog to being a convincing winner, it's hard to overlook. For the effort of 82 rushing yards, 8 receptions for 83 yards and 1 touchdown, for a total score of 26.5 points, the Week Four MVT goes to James Connor (WR) of the Black Cats.

http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

Gut Wrench

10-07-19, 10:22 PM

Nighthawks Soar
...elsewhere the Taipans slither away to recover.

Week Five in the Subsim Fantasy Football league, and as best we know, not a word will be spoken of Antonio Brown, former WR of the Nighthawks. Not a word will be spoken of the international team that almost scored the least number of points, while having the most number of points on the bench. And we certainly won't mention which powerhouse team has suddenly become the divisional leader and #2 team in the league.

But we will talk about the two most important things that you, the avid reader, must do today.

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Paramedics to Oregon please. 9 players for ER. Stat.

What happened in Oregon? The Who Dat Nation were hosting the Australian Taipans, and it looks like the Taipans sent a flag football team. Coach Fuel for Blood only made one mistake the entire weekend in starting Mike Evens (WR) who did nothing for their score. Zero. Zilch. Not to worry though, the Taipans starters were so bad, that their six bench players scored more points, than their nine starters. What happened to the Taipans? They got skinned alive by the Who Dat Nation despite their star Drew Brees (QB) being out injured. This wasn't even close, the Nation slaughters the Taipans in a landslide 163 - 128.

Our match of the day this week was the Black Cats hosting the Guns of Hochuli. If you turned off the Who Dat Nation/Taipans game in the first quarter you were treated to a real gun slinging match between these two former champions. Cats Coach FYC, still absent from the games but producing a winning record, went to town early on the Gunners. Again, while they still have Seyquan Berkly (RB) in the line up, the remainder fo the Cats have stood up to take the load, this week lead by Amari Cooper (WR) with a personal point tally of 45. The entire receiving corps of the Gunners had days of 88, 92 and 109 yards individually to put the Gunners in front. The Cats entire team then rode on the arm of Matt Ryan (QB) as he passed for 333 yards and 3 touchdowns. It was never going to be enough, not even a performance from Greg Little (TE) on Monday Night could lift the tails of the Cats to snuff out the fuse of the Gunners. Coach Casey and the Guns of Hochuli put together back to back wins against two of the strongest teams in the league. Final score, the Guns of Hoculi defeat the Black Cats 155.26 - 152.80

Our third match of the day is nothing short of an embarrassment for one team, and a ominous omen for the remainder of the league. The Drunk Monkeys lead by "yes I am here" Coach Thad failed to show up again this week. Unlike in previous years, this time it was a downright thrashing of the Monkeys, taking away some of the harsh glare of the earlier thrashing of the Taipans. Mister Chris has out up yet another mammoth scoring spree to solidify the Nighthawks as the favorites for the Championship. There is very little we can write about this game, except the final score. Helmand Nighthawks score 204 points, overwhelming the Monkeys 118.

Next week, after their outstanding annihilation of the Taipans, we head up to Oregon where the Who Dat nation host the Black Cats. The Nation and the Black Cats are ties at 3-2, one game behind the Helmand Nighthawks. While not even halfway through the season, this is a game which could end up deciding the #3 post season seed. With the Nighthawks looking like a rugby winger running away for the try, the Nation and the Cats may have to fight it out among themselves in order to meet the Nighthawks in the Championship game. It's still early, but we're already looking at a potential Sub Simmers division domination of the post season - again.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

There are few players in the league that ever score a half century in points, but it seems, that that when they do, they are playing for one team. For the effort of 176 rushing yards for 2 touchdowns, 6 receptions for 61 yards and 1 touchdown, for a total score of 53.70 points, the Week Five MVT goes to Cam McCaffrey (RB) of the Helmand Nighthawks. .

http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

Gut Wrench

10-14-19, 10:23 PM

Drunk Monkeys Win
Scalp the League Leader.

Week Six in the Subsim Fantasy Football league, and do we have a round of upsets to work our way through. We'll talk about the brutal schedule that saw the same two teams that played last weekend, play each other this weekend but with a different result. We'll talk about the re surging fire power in the Surface Skimmers Division, and we'll find out just how good the best ghost team in the league is.

Before we do any of this though, we have find out just how good you, the reader can be, be following these two messages.

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When the schedule for this year first came out everyone circled week 5 and week 6. By a brutal coincidence, the same two teams, the Helmand Nighthawks and the Drunk Monkeys, play each other in back to back weeks. Last week the Monkeys were given a red rump as they had their ass handed to them by the Helmand Nighthawks. After crossing the Atlantic and showing up at Wembley, one would of thought the Nighthawks would have taken care of the Monkeys in a "business as usual" manner. Coach Thad and the Drunks had other ideas as they flew into finally get out of the cellar. Tom Brady (QB) had another stellar day with the Nighthawks, and were heavy favorites when the Drunk Monkeys announced their starting lineup, that included two players on vacation. Deshawn Watson (QB) outperformed his Nighthawk counterpart but it was a combination of receiver and running backs that buried the Nighthawks in their lowest score this season. And....what's frightening, the Drunk Monkeys could have turned this into a major drubbing had they started anyone at TE and WR. Drunk Monkeys throw the Helmand Nighthawks a major banana peel spill, on their home field, outscoring the Nighthawks 160-106.

The Drunk Monkeys have historically been the best damm ghost team in the league...until this past weekend. Coach FYC of the Black cats hasn't been seen since before the draft but that hasn't stopped them from amassing a 3-2 record prior to this weekend, better than half the teams in the league. The Who Dat Nation were hosting the Black Cats in Oregon this weekend, and while not an easy park to win in, the Nation have lost some games at home in the past seasons to teams that they had no business losing to. The Black Cats would be another. The Nation were stymied by a lack of scoring across all their players, none more so than their star Dak Prescott (QB). As if to say "look at me", Matt Ryan, starting QB for the Cats was not going to be outplayed this weekend by any stretch of the imagination, throwing for over 350 yards and 4 touchdowns. While the Cats continue to list Seyqan Berkely (RB) as a starter the Who Dat Nation, like other teams, have not been able to put the Cats out of contention. The Nation, surprisingly, comes up short to the Black Cats this week who march on to a 4-2 record without their Coach ever seeing the sidelines. Imagine what he could do if he showed up. Final Score Black Cats 140, Who Dat nation 123.

Our final game of the week had the Guns of Hoculi hosting the Australian Taipans. These two teams have been divisional rivals since playing in the Old Testament League. The Gunners have quietly gone about their business without fanfare, being the super disciplined team that Coach Casey runs. The Gunners were helped immensely by Carson Wentz (QB) finally throwing for over 300 yards and Chris Goodwin going for 151 yards. Coach Casey's last minute team addition of the Redskins (DEF) gave him double figures, while the Chargers (DEF) could barley stop the opposition for the Taipans. On Monday night, the Taipans had just one player left, Aaron Jones (RB) who needed at least 100 yards and a touchdown. Jones came up way short of that mark, and the Taipans suffer their third consecutive loss. Final Score Guns of Hochuli 142 - Australian Taipans 122.

In one of the most unusual seasons that we have seen, there isn't a team that has yet to take a stranglehold on the season. Nor, is there a team that is borderline elimination form the playoffs this far into the season. This weeks results have mucked up the league ladder, so lets take this apart position by position.

#1 - Helmand Nighthawks.
The Nighthawks despite the loss this week, lead both the league and the Sub Skimmers division. Despite getting shut down by the Drunk Monkeys, they remain the highest scoring team in the league.

#2 - The Guns of Hochuli.
The Gunners have ever so quietly stolen the Surface Skimmers Division, which until a few weeks ago, could have been either of the other teams. The Gunners take 2-0 record against their divisional opponents is putting them in a position where they control their own destiny.

#3 - The Black Cats.
Are they the best damm Ghost team in the league? At 4-2 they are tied on win - loss with the Nighthawks but loose the countback. This is a team whom has been playing with a visible Coach, and are borderline to winning their division. If that should happen, it will be a historical first.

#4 - The Who Dat Nation.
The loss this weeks drops the Nation back to 3-3, and despite that being a .500% rating, they are only one game behind the Nighthawks and the Black Cats. As the (predicted) stronger division within the league, you would expect the Nation to march into the playoffs as the #3 seed. But, anything can happen.

#5 - Australian Taipans.
The leagues defending champions are in trouble - but they are not out of it yet. They have given up a two game margin to the Gunners that will take some time to chase down. If the Taipans are going to make into the playoffs, their run needs to start now as their reach only appears to be as high as the #4 seed. If they are lucky.

#6 - Drunk Monkeys
Don't spank the monkeys just yet. The Monkeys get their first win of the season are only two games out of contention. The Monkeys have been known as spoilers going into the second half of the season, and if they get a run on, can potentially decide the final play off seeding. It's way too early to eliminate the Monkeys from contention.

Knowing all of this, where do we go for out Match of the Day next week? We go back across the Atlantic as the Helmand Nighthawks welcome the Who Dat Nation. The Nighthawks lead the division - by countback. They need to defeat the Nation to ensure outright ownership of the division and the league. The Nation need to defeat their divisional rival to regain ground on the Black Cats, and level up their divisional record. Will be another cracker game on foreign soil.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

It took them six weeks but they finally got their first win of the season and once again, we find ourselves saying "don't count them out yet." For the effort of 18 rushing yards, 7 receptions for 167 yards and 3 touchdowns, for a total score of 49.50 points, the Week Six MVT goes to Stefan Diggs (WR) of the Drunk Monkeys.

http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

Gut Wrench

10-22-19, 12:28 AM

Nighthawks Score 200
Who Dat Get Slaughtered

Week Seven in the Subsim Fantasy Football league, and we should really start talking about the playoffs for some of these teams. We'll talk about the team that has scored yet another 200+ points game, the team that continues to win as ghost, and the team that is lasting their way through the division

Before we do gossip over any of these, however, we have to talk about two other important topics.

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Our Match of the Day this week was the Who Dat Nation hosting the Helmand Nighthawks. These two power house teams have gone back and forth on one another within the division for the past few years. Coming into today's game, the Nighthawks were beaten last week in a stinging loss to the lowest rank team in the league. They were looking for redemption at all costs, and redemption they earned as they plowed their way trough the Nation. While the Nation had some credible performances from Dak Presscot (QB) and Michael Thomas, (WR) it was the combined aspect of the Nighthawks that ran over the nation. Even their defense got in on the act this with with the Patriots (DEF) outscoring every player on the field for the Who Dat Nation. This one wasn't even close, but as we look at the final score, there is an air of ominous from the Helmand Nighthawks as they solidify their position as the league leaders. Helmand Nighthawks blow out the Who Dat 207 - 130.

Across the nation, the Guns of Hochuli were hosting the Drunk Monkeys. The Monkeys, after beating up the Helmand Nighthawks last week, must have partied well into the week for they only brought five (5) starters. Even then, those starters still managed to put up more points than one other team this week (well get to that in a minute) but it was always going to be an easy win. The Guns of Hochuli account for the Drunk Monkeys 124 - 103.

How many ways are there to lose a football game? Just ask the Australian Taipans. The Taipans started their start Patrick Mahonnes (QB) who was good for one quarter before succumbing to injury. With that many points not met, you would have assumed that the Black Cats would just steamroll their way to a victory. Cats starter Matt Ryan (QB) also sustained an injury early in the game, and both teams were now in a race to the bottom of the ladder. The Cats were revitalized by Amari Cooper (WR) and the Rams (DEF) who put them over 110 points. The Taipans needed their lowest score of the year to win it but even with Julian Edelman (WR) and Mike Nugent (K) couldn't help their cause. For the second time this season, the Taipans crash narrowly in a loss to the Black Cats 111 - 100, but really, both teams probably need to be relegated if that's their best performance.

So for the first time in many years, we have three teams at the top of the ladder and we have one ghost team showing how to play football. Perhaps Coach FYC should not show up to more games?

The Hemland Nighthawks at 5-2 lead the Surface Skimmers Division while the Guns of Hochuli with the same record lead the Sub Simmers division. The Black Cats. also 5-2, occupy the #3 seed. The rest of the league follows at below .500%.

The Who Dat Nation at 3-4 are in the stronger of the two divisions and are attempting to stave off the following teams who may get by them. The Taipans at 2-5 are almost eliminated from winning the Sub Simmers division, whilst the Drunk Monkeys at 1-5 are still not eliminated form playoffs.

How is that possible?

Next week we go back to the Carolina's for a top of the ladder challenge as we look to have both 5-2 teams battle it out. The Black Cats will be hosting the Helmand Nighthawks and while the Cats continue to ghost - and win, they can't be discounted. The Nighthawks may not have to put uo 200 points next week but they will still need a load of points to take the win.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

Hard to looks past one of the most outstanding performances in the history of the league. As much as we wanted to give it to another Defense, this players numbers were just took good. For the effort of 492 yards and 5 touchdowns and 6 rushing yards for 1 touchdown, for an enormous score of 59.26 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Seven MVT to Aaron Rodgers of the Helmand Nighthawks.

http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

Gut Wrench

10-28-19, 10:36 PM

Who Dat Fire the Gunners
Taipans End Their Slump

Week Eight in the Subsim Fantasy Football league. The half way point of the entire season and so far, it looks like we have only one playoff contender showing how it's done, and one relegation showing how it's not done. And in the middle, it's just a big old Antonio Brown mess. (Too soon?). As we get ready to go around the grounds and find out just what happened, here's the most important happening you need to know about.

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Lets take this for the bottom of the table and work our way up, this week.

In Australia, the Taipans return for a much needed home field stretch. Our defending Torpedo Bowl Champions have been just awful this year amassing four consecutive losses. A divisional loss this week would put the Taipans on the brink of elimination, but thanks to some sloppy work in another game, and with the coaching of the Drunk Monkeys, the Taipans got a break. Brandin Cooks (WR) could do with an additional Kit Kat bar as he sustained a concussion running out on to the field, leaving the depleted Taipans wide receiving corp one player down before the kick off and after the close of starters. Not to worry, the Drunk Monkeys who made the long trans Pacific crossing helped out when Devonte Adams (WR) Ezekial Elliott (RB) and Juystin Tucker (K) were all detained at Sydney International Airport for Customs Inspection. The three Monkeys on their quarantine card had responded to the question "Do you have anything to declare?" with "Mind your own business." The players were detained across the weekend ensuring that the Taipans would have no trouble winning the match. Final score Taipans 161 Drunk Monkeys 90.

Back on the mainland, the Who Dat Nation arrived for a showdown with the Guns of Hochuli, still licking their wounds after being given a right royal ass beating by the Nighthawks. The Nation, heavily stacked had been waiting on the star Drew Brees (QB) to return from injury, this being his first week back. Brees did not disappoint coming out and throwing for over 373 yards and 3 touchdowns. The Gunners were resting on their star Carson Wentz (QB) to at least stay on pace with Brees so that their running backs could carry the load. However, Coach Casey, in a rare error, started David Johnson (RB) who this week was scheduled to have his ass enlarged to fit his padded shorts. With Johnson as a non starter, the Nation were able to capitalize on the gap with Mike Evans (WR) going for 198 yards and 2 touchdowns. This game wasn't even close as the Who Dat Nation reaffirmed their position as the leagues potential #2 team by disposing of the the divisional leader Guns of Hochuli. In a massive blow out, the Who Dat Nation put their Torpedo Bowl hopes back in motion, thoroughly beating up the Guns of Hochuli 190 - 103.

Our Match of the Day this week was in the Carolina's where the Black Cats have amassed a 5-2 winning record without Coach FYC ever showing up and without making a single change to their team. The Cats have gone deeper into the regular season than any ghost team prior, to put themselves in the unfathomable position of being league leaders with a win.

"We don't give a crap about their record," Coach Mister Chris of the Helmand Nighthawks responded to the media when asked. "We're here to play the Black Cats."

And play them they did. The Nighthawks for the second week in a row put up the leagues highest score, and set the Nighthawks up not only as the highest average scorer in the league, but come away with sole possession of the best record. The Nighthawks skinned the Black Cats 216 - 125.

So, with the wins and losses there is a little more clarity in the league positions.

The Helmand Nighthawks at 6-2 have the best record in the league and lead the Surface Skimmers Division. Competing in the tougher of the two divisions, the Nighthawks are not yet assured a divisional seeding, but they can put themselves into position to capture either the #1 or #3 seed, and potentially the softer path to the Torpedo Bowl.

The loss by the Guns of Hochuli and the Black Cats keep them at 5-2. The Gunners have a two game lead over the nearest divisional rival and are currently the #2 seed. The Cats with the same record have the #3 seed, but they only hold a one game lead over the divisional rival.

The Who Dat Nation at 4-4 occupy the #4 seed and are the third team in the Surface Skimmers division. The Nation are only one game behind the Black Cats and two games behind the Helmand Nighthawks. This division is undecided for while they may be the #4 seed, they are a past Torpedo Bowl Champion and potentially could play spoiler. There is no one who thinks that the Who Dat Nation can't win the division from two games back.

The Australian Taipans at 3-5 have a much trickier path to the play offs. They have lost games they had no business losing, giving the Black Cats a two game lead. If the Cats continue to ghost along, the Taipans not only have to pick up two games, but also have to get a third game in front of the Cats to win the countback. If they fail to do so, the Black Cats will be the first ghost team to make the playoffs. There's a lot for the Taipans to loose.

At the bottom of the ladder are the Drunk Monkeys at 1-7, but their sole win was against the league leader. The Monkeys are already four games back of the Sub Simmers divisional leader, the Guns of Hochuli, and with the closeness of the Surface Skimmers, are getting close to facing elimination from the playoffs. It's very simple for the Monkeys from here on out. Win everything.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

We so looked at giving this weeks aware to another Defense for their outstanding performance, however, they were overshadowed in the Great Southern Land by a second half worthy of the record books. For the effort of 67 rushing yards, 7 receptions for 159 yards and 2 touchdowns, for a score of 47.60 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Eight MVT to Aaron Jones (RB) of the Australian Taipans.

http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

Gut Wrench

11-04-19, 11:34 PM

Getting Easy For Some
Getting Harder for Others

Week Nine in the Subsim Fantasy Football league. If you're keeping score than you better start penciling in one team for the playoffs. You can also pencil one team for an early trip away at the end of the season, and while you're scratching over the remaining intermediary positions, you can keep the eraser handy as we still don't have a clear picture of who's advancing and who's not.

But we do have a very clear picture of the two most important items you should do, right now.

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Week Nine in the Subsim Fantasy Football League, and in past years, we would normally be touting the virtues of one team an "winner takes all"...and then going "oops" about four weeks later when they crash and burn int he final weeks of the season. We're going to look at the low scoring adventures of this weeks games then come back and really draw our first predictions on the final placings.

Let's start with the first game where we nearly had a massive choke. Drunk Monkeys were playing the Helmand Nighthawks, again this week. The Monkeys sole win this year came against the Nighthawks, but it wasn't going to be a repeat performance this week. Despite the sloppy play of Aaron Rodgers (QB) and Ju Ju Smith - Schuster - probably form doing too many commercials, it was Cam McCaffrey that kept the Nighthawks on the winning path. Not that they needed much of a performance, Coach Thad once again started two (2)players still on their season break and was only able to post a paltry score. The Nighthawks didn't have to do a lot to win, but, at one stage, they didn't look like they could post a score to won. Grinding out needlessly what should have been an early slam dunk, the Nighthawks finally come away with the win defeating the Drunk Monkeys in a low scoring game, 120 - 81.

Our Match of the Day this week, although unadvertised in this forum, cause I forgot to really proof read my own publication (bad, Gut Wrench) was the Black Cats hosting the Guns of Hochuli. These two divisional rivals have been almost locked in step since the start of the season, and while the Gunners have quietly and methodically gone about their business, it has been the Black cats which has been the most surprising Ghost Team of the past decade, amassing wins early in the season. Well, those wins came to a historical low halt today as the Cats register the lowest ever score in the history of the league. Fielding only three players, the Cats had more players on the field than in the stands (barely). The Guns of Hochuli made a quick meal of the Cats disposing of them 129 - 53.

Our closest game of the week was the Who Dat Nation hosting the Australian Taipans. The Nation have been stifled by the Black Cats winning ways and needed to get back on track against the Taipans. The Taipans have been frustrated week after week, plagued by injuries, and this week was no exception as they started six (6) players on the Questionable list. There was even an unconfirmed report of Antonio Brown (WR) being at the ground getting ready to suit up for the Taipans. Taipans started with a weak score and finally put some points on the board to at least make this a game. Who Dat Nation crippled the Taipans with their receiving corps and though behind on the scoreboard at the start of Monday night, had really only to take the field and put on a quarter of a game to ensure the win. Who Dat Nation get back on the wining track defeating the Taipans 157 - 122.

So this week the low scoring aspect of the league has brought some question into the final play off positions. We'll take this apart one by one and start to clear the air.

The Helmand Nighthawks at 7-2 lead the league and the Surface Skimmers division. The Nighthawks still have to play the Monkeys two more times before the end of the season. Giving the Nighthawks wins in both games, they only need to win one more game to ensure a play off position. They will, in all fairness, probably finish the regular season as the #1 seed. Again.

We're going skip over the #2 seed for just a moment, but we will come back to it.

The #3 and #4 seeds in the league so far are the Who Dat Nation and the Black Cats. The Black Cats have shown themselves to be the best damm ghost team ever, but the Nation have chased them down from arrears and equaled their 5-4 record. If the Cats continue to ghost the remainder of the season the Who Dat Nation will mathematically outscore them and assume the higher seeding within the consolation series. For the moment, we'll give the Nation the #3 seed, but we're not going to give the Cats a seeding just yet. Let's get back to the #2 seed.

The Guns of Hochuli with their win this week reach 6-3 and hold the #2 seeding, for the moment. Their division included the Australian Taipans and the Drunk Monkeys. As we mentioned earlier, we don't expect the Monkeys to carry through on wins, so unless there is an appearance by Coach FYC, we'll go ahead and pencil the Monkeys in as the #6 seed and eliminated from the playoffs.

But what does that have to to with the #2 seed. Everything.

The Gunners, have, in the last few weeks, methodically gone about business and won games. But, they also give the appearance of being a part time Ghost team as well. They need another four (4) wind to solidly their position, because they are also scheduled to play the Who Dat Nation, the Black Cats and the Taipans in the final weeks. On paper, that's a tough draw.

The Black Cats are 5-4 and in the #4 seed, but they are also 2-1 in their division, while the Who Dat Nation are 0-3 within the division. The Cats really only need to beat the Nation one more time to ensure a higher ranking then them, or, hope for the Nation to be defeated by the Nighthawks. The Cats may end up stealing the #3 seeding from the Nation, unless they can get some help. And where is that help going to come form?

The Australian Taipans at 3-6 are three games back of the Divisional Leaders and in trouble if they want to play in December. The Taipans have had more injuries this year than...they did last year, when they won the league. The Taipans have to play everyone in front of them on the ladder in the last few weeks, and most of their past games have been decided by one or two players, or one or two injuries. The Taipans look like they will miss out on the playoffs, unless they can win. If they do, their wins will reshuffle the Who Dat Nation, Black Cats and possibly, but less likely, the Guns of Hochuli.

So what does that mean? The seeding for positions #2 through #5 are not yet decided, and with too many variables and ghost teams, could change next week. But fortunately, that's why you have us writers at the helm. Which leads us to next weeks Match of the day, the Guns of Hochuli hosting the Who Dat Nation. The Nation need the win to pull ahead of the Black Cats, and if the Gunners are in fact ghosting, this will be the week when it shows up. The Nation can pull ahead of the Black Cats with a win and leapfrog up the ladder to strengthen their claim on the #3 seed, As usual, we will be there to capture all the highlights and the low lights.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

With some low scoring this week, we really had to look hard to find a worthy recipient for this award. We found it in a previous winner of this award for the this season. For the effort of 146 rushing yards and 2 touchdowns, 3 receptions for 20 yards and a touchdown, for a total of 43.60 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Nine MVT to Cam McCaffrey (RB) of the Helmand Nighthawks..

http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

Gut Wrench

11-12-19, 12:11 AM

Taipans Down the Nighthawks
Drunk Monkeys Get an Uber Home

Week Ten in the Subsim Fantasy Football league. There are only a few more weeks left before we enter the playoff season and as yet, no one has cinched a position. We do, however, have our first team eliminated from the playoffs, but if you were thinking that you knew what was going to happen this week, you were most definitely in for the ride of the the year.

Let's find out about what happened before the first match of the week, and what controversy now surrounds one of our Coaches, whose name is not Antonio Brown.

Right after this very important message.

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Let's start with what happened before the first match of the weekend

The Australian Taipans have been a little disappointing this year. Earlier in the week there was some "conversations" which correspondents may interpret as "mudslinging". The Taipans were heavy underdogs against the Helmand Nighthawks who were going to have travel through some of the worst fires in the history of the world, just to get to the ground. Now, Mister Chris is not one to shy away from a response, but before it got out of Hand, Commissioner Pioneer called in Coach Pioneer for a friendly reminder. Word on the street is that conversation was fiery, and that Coach Pioneer left the Commissioner Office, and both parties are now not talking to each other.

That would make for a dandy drive home that day.

On to the game. Taipans were in desperate need of a win having lost several games they had no business losing. The Nighthawks were starting to run away with the league, and looking like a mighty dangerous force to sweep the playoffs. Early Thursday the Taipans started well just getting their nose in front, but it was the work on the ground where they truly shone. Having been steamed by abysmal performance the Taipans came ready to meet the Nighthawks head on. Following the draft, the Nighthawks scouting report indicated that this would be their most vulnerable week, and the report was correct. Mister Chris had been outspoken on all opponents being dangerous, and like a knowledgeable Coach, knew that this was a difficult game. The Nighthawks out ran the ball with Devonte Cook (RB) and Christian McCaffrey (RB) but a soft air game from Aaron Rodgers (QB) and the wide receiving corp set this game up as an ugly loss for Mister Chris. As he proclaimed, all opponents are dangerous until defeated and Mister Chris and the Nighthawks were defeated by the Taipans 105 - 167.

Our Match of the Day was a thriller, but I will confess, somewhere I turned off the national broadcast thinking the Guns of Hochuli had this sewn up, only to return after full time to discover the Who Dat Nation had blown the Gunners away. The Gunners came out and had 100 plus points on the board before the Who Dat Nation even took the field. Tryee Hill (WR) was outstanding for Coach Casey, but, a bruised ego on the opening drive to David Johnson (RB) robbed the Gunners of a high scoring machine. The Who Dat Nation got off to a start with a frightening scare as Drew Brees (QB) choked. The Nation would need some voodoo to get back into this one, and they did so Michael Thomas (WR) scoring over 34 points. However, it wasn't quite enough as they were only able to draw closer to the Gunners, and had to rely on their Defense to bring home the goods. The Nations stomping by the Steelers (DEF) carried the Nation through the still smoking haze from the Gunners who had left the field to go and celebrate. In a come from behind win, and a chase from over 100 points back, the Who Dat Nation got a well deserved, albeit high scoring and narrow win over the Guns of Hochuli. The Who Dat Nation hang on to win the game 173 - 160 over the Guns of Hochuli.

So, those four teams represent the strength of the league and at least three of them will be going into the playoffs, albeit we do not know what their seeding will be. We have two more teams in the league who are Ghosting along, at opposite ends of the spectrum. The Back Cats continue their record breaking run of winning - without a Coach, while the Drunk Monkeys continue to be the best damm "almost won again" team without Coach Thad.

Monkeys and the Cats was always going to a low scoring affair. Both teams started a lot of players either attending Tupperware parties and had requested the weekend off, or were attending Marine Corp Balls (Thanks you for your service.) The Cats were without a running back and a tight end, while the Monkeys were without a quarterback and a running back. Playing 9 a side offense, this game was indeed offensive. Low scoring, hampered scores, this is one of those games when you look back at the end of the season, you will ask "how did we let that happen?" Black Cats had a glimmer of honor as Amari Cooper (WR) had 11 receptions and 147 yards with a touchdown for a score of 39 points. That one score would be the deciding factor in the game as the Black Cats dispose of the Drunk Monkeys 115 - 83.

This weeks games have provided a minor upset, and in one instance, has stifled the juggernaut of the league leaders. It has also given us our first elimination. Let's take the league apart piece by piece, and see where we are. By starting at the bottom.

The loss of the Drunk Monkeys drops them to 1-9. They would have to win five of their next four games in order to reach a countback situation for the playoffs. Not going to happen. The Drunk Monkeys are eliminated from the post season. They will finish the season as either the #5 or #6 team watching from the grandstands.

Let's move to the top of the ladder, where that is almost as clear. The shock loss by the Nighhawks leaves Mister Chris at 7-3. His lead on the league is back to one game. The Nighthawks can still miss out on the play offs, but, they have the easiest run into the post season as they have to play the Drunk Monkeys two more times. While the Monkeys defeated them on their first time around, rest assure, Mister Chris is not going to let it happen three times. Still, with his lead over the rest of the league reduced, he needs three wore wins to finish out as the #1 seed.

It gets a little more complicated right behind him.

The Who Dat Nation, the Black Cats and the Guns of Hochuli are one game behind the Nighthawks at 6-4. Each of these teams have trailed the Nighthawks all season, and to be one game in arrears, must be disheartening for Mister Chris. Lets take the Guns of Hochuli first. The Gunners lead the Surface Skimmers division by two games. It's too early to be forecasting their position yet as they play the Taipans twice in the last three weeks. But the Gunners could snatch the #1 position away from the Nighthawks with some help. That help is going to come from the Who Dat Nation and the Black Cats.

Both the Who Dat Nation and the Black Cats are in the same division as the Helmand Nighthawks but with very different records. The Cats are 2-1 in their division, and they have defeated the Nighthawks. The Who Dat Nation while an equal record, but are 0-3 in their division. The Nation, in order to finish higher than the Black Cats, have to win within their division and get some help. The Black Cats, need to score more points for while their divisional record is better, if the Nation don't win the division, the Cats fall behind on the countback of points. This division is too close to call.

And that leaves us our fifth team vying for the fourth and final position, the Australian Taipans. The Taipans at 4-6 have to chase down their divisional rival the Guns of Hochuli first, and then rely on other favorable results to make their way to the playoffs. They could end up as the #3 seed, but their fate is more likely the #5. They have more to loose than than any other team.

So what does that mean for next week. The marquee gave is the Australian Taipans hosting the Guns of Hochuli, however, the fires in Australia have put the Taipans home ground in jeopardy of being burnt to the ground. The Taipans have asked the Commissioner for an alternative field, but after the Commissioner and the Coach of the Taipans "meeting" earlier this week, the Commissioner may not be as receptive to moving the game. Let's stay with a game that we know has just as much on the line, and not subject to being moved. The Who Dat Nation hosting the Black Cats. The winner of this match will own the #3 seed in the league with just a few weeks left. The Nation are fighting for divisional wins, while the Cats have amassed an impressive Ghost Record. If the Cats win, it will be repercussions across the league on managing your team "from afar".

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

They took on the giant of the league, and they came home with a victory. For the effort of 223 passing yards and 3 touchdowns, 64 rushing yards for 1 touchdown, for a total of 39.42 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Ten MVT to Lamar Jackson (QB) of the Australian Taipans.

http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

Gut Wrench

11-18-19, 11:48 PM

Who Dat Win
...but the Nighthawks Haven't Clinched, yet.

Week Eleven in the Subsim Fantasy Football league. We're coming down to the final weeks of the regular season and as yet our front runner of the league has not yet clinched a play off spot. And while we've been talking all season about him, look around and recognize that at least one team has kept pace within a game to cast the entire league deep into the regular season without booking their ticket to the Post Season.

We'll go around the grounds, include the wild weather that plagued one game, right after we tell you about the most important thing to do this week before getting your turkey.

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With so much to talk about, let's begin with our Match of the Day that turned into a snooze fest. This come after our proclamation last week that the winner of the Who Dat Nation hosting the Black Cats would have outright hold on the #3 seed in the league. James Connor (RB) was the first to trot out onto the field for the Black Cats, but he really could have stayed back in the pavilion as he only produced 2 points before coming off. This left the door open for the Who Dat Nation to romp away, but even with the poor start of the Cats, the Nation made the first "rookie" coaching mistake of the year by starting Jarvis Landry (WR) who went for one touchdown, and the Steelers (DEF). Mistakes like this in the post season won't advance the Nation and although they ran away with this game by almost 90 points, it was a very unlike Coach Fuel For Blood error. For a game with so much on the line, Coach FYC of the Black Cats no longer looks like the best Ghost Coach in the history of the league. Final Score Who Dat Nation 152, Black Cats 61.

Now where I live the Helmand Nighthawks and Drunk Monkeys game was the locally broadcast late game. I will confess, I was having several beers at the start of this game, but you couldn't put money on the Nighthawks to loose this one. Recall just a few weeks ago the Drunk Monkeys upset the league leaders, and this week, they almost pulled off a second defeat of the Nighthawks. Deshawn Watson (QB) started for the Monkeys and when he only scored 1.96 points, you might have thought the win by the Nighthawks was going to be by "how much". Hold the phone, the Nighthawks Mister Terrific, Tom Brady (QB) was equally unimpressive scoring only 8 points, and when each of the Nighthawks three wide receivers failed to find the in zone, I for one stopped drinking. The Monkeys were leading the Nighthawks late Sunday afternoon and the Nighthawks only had one more player left. Cooper Kupp (WR) needed just one catch and maybe thirty yards to give the Nighthawks the lead, but they had to wait an awfully long time, almost into the darkness before Kupp finally made the catch. Having secured the win Kupp (WR) took a nap on the field and was only good for two more catches, a big disappointment for the Nighthawks who should have pummeled the Monkeys into oblivion. The Drunk Monkeys, having been eliminated from the playoffs last week, came oh so close to handing the league leaders their second loss as the worst team in the league. The Nighthawks barely fly the coop on this one and eek out a win in the ugliest way finally overcoming the Drunk Monkeys 112 - 105.

Now we go Down Under for the Taipans and Gunners match up that had fire and ice throughout the course of the game. Last week the home field was in direct line of the raging bushfires and under threat of the stadium being burnt. Come game time, the fires were still surrounding the stadium but the usual 1 million people turned out for the game. Halfway through the game the heavens turned an ugly shade of green and the skies opened up with hail the size of baseballs.

https://www.abc.net.au/news/image/11712280-3x2-700x467.jpg

The groundskeeper closed the roof of the stadium and after a short delay play resumed with the Taipans just blowing thee Guns of Hochuli away. While both teams had multiple players still on the field late Monday night, this game was over by halftime. Traditional divisional rivals were unable to rise to the standard we've come to expect as the Taipans lowers the boom on the Guns of Hochuli 156 - 105.

So with just a couple of weeks left in the regular season, we've got some issues at the end of Week Eleven. As yet, the top five teams are still in contention and none of them have cliched a play off berth yet. The Drunk Monkeys were eliminated last week and with favorable results the Nighthawks could have been the first team guaranteed into the playoffs. While the Nighthawks look like they are the team to beat, they've have two weeks now where the just haven't have that firepower that they are known for.

Right behind them on the ladder just one game back, the Who Dat Nation had been stalking the Nighthawks all season, and now in the last weeks. they may end up stealing the #1 from the Nighthawks, albeit they will need some help. The Who Dat Nation win over the Black Cats only gives them their first divisional win. While more probably they will be the #3 seed, the Nation can't be counted out. The Black Cats fall one game back of the Nation but have a better divisional record. These two teams will be relying on other games to sort out their final seeding at the end of the regular season.

The third of the close matchups is in the Sub Simmers division where the win by the Taipans moves them within a game of the Guns of Hochuli. Both teams have the same divisional record but the Taipans have scored more points than the Gunners. We could be looking at a third count back in this division if one of these teams doesn't take control of their destiny.

Tough decisions to be made for the Match of the Day. The Drunk Monkeys are taking on the depleted Guns of Hochuli, the Black Cats get to host the Taipans after they get out of the fires and hail, but our biggest game, possibly for the year, is the Helmand Nighthawks hosting the Who Dat Nation at Wembley. The Nighthawks can wrap up the division and the #1 seed with a win over the Nation, but the Nation can force the issue into countback rules with a win. This is more than a Prime Time Game, as we may be watching a preview of the Torpedo Bowl final.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

This one has been a long time coming. This player has been right there, week after week with outstanding performances as an individual, but not supported by his team. This week, however, the entire squad showcased their A level game. For the effort of 8 receptions for 114 yards and 1 touchdown, for a total of 31.40 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Eleven MVT to Michael Thomas (WR) of the Who Dat Nation.

http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

Gut Wrench

11-25-19, 11:25 PM

Best Game of the Year
...closest score ever!.

Week Twelve in the Subsim Fantasy Football league. You know the playoffs are just around the corner, but this week, we had to wait until the final whistle late Monday night before we would know where the top five teams would be ranked. That's right - the top 5 teams positioning was undecided until the final play of Monday night - and even then, we needed to go back and correctly aligned the teams before we go send this report to the presses.

Let's hear about this wild game being dubbed the best game of the year - right after we hear about these two important messages.

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When things are on the line, and the playoffs are just a couple of weeks away, rest assure, the Guns of Hochuli are going to show up, regardless of who their opposition is. This week the Drunk Monkeys hosted the Gunners. There had been speculation that Coach Thad (Monkeys) and Coach Casey (Gunners had actually gone an an all expenses paid vacation to the honeymoon capital of the world - Niagara Falls; but those rumors were put to rest when Coach Casey picked up three (3) players form the waiver wire, including Kareen Hunt (RB) Coach Casey really needed to pick up four in order to replace their kicker Harrison Butker (K) Butker was serving a one game suspension for eating too much ice cream at the team table. Monkeys, having been eliminated form the play offs, were wanting to play spoiler and it was in this role that this first game hinged on Stefan Diggs (WR) who was also serving a similar suspension. With both teams without their full compliment of players Monkeys jumped out early with Deshawn Watson (QB) who threw for 298 yards. Being just two yards short would be a theme for the weekend when Carson Wenzt (QB) finally took the field for the Gunners and had a miserable game scoring just 11 points. With the Monkeys leading it would come down to the Gunners booming receiving corps to drag the Gunners ahead of the Monkeys. Even with Justin Tucker (K) * playing on Monday night, the Gunners cruised to an easy win over the Drunk Monkeys 147 - 104. Their appearance and waiver claims this week has implications for the two teams in the next game.

In the Carolina's, Coach FYC and the Black Cats were hosting the Australian Taipans as they take on the longest away game series of the year. The Black Cats have set records going this far into the regular season as the Undisputed Ghost Team of the Year, ironically, displacing the Drunk Monkeys. You got the feeling early on that this was not going to be close after Matt Ryan (QB) scored 11 points for the game for the Cats, while Lamar Jackson (QB) had 20 points by the end of the first quarter for the Taipans. Having been unceremoniously beaten earlier in the season, the Taipans returned to fine form with a right royal skinning of the Cats. Were it not for George Kittle (TE) scoring 30 points on Sunday night, this would have been the largest margin of defeat in the history of the league. Final score: the Australian Taipans run away with the win against the Black Cats 179 -78.

And that leaves us with one game. This is the game that the world will talk about for years as the best game of Subsim Fantasy Football ever. But it's result could quite easily have been revered - we'll get to that in a moment.

The Who Dat Nation had slowly kept pace with the Helmand Nighthawks throughout the season, until the realization set in that they were only one game behind, but, behind on the countback having lost three times to divisional opponents. The Nations path to the playoffs required a win over the Nighthawks. The Nighthawks were on a two week losing streak and really needed to cement their place in the post season with the win. Late Sunday morning Mister Chris made four (4) changes to his team - but the one change he did not make was Bill Maher (K) and New England (DEF). This was only the second rookie mistake of the season, the last having been played by their opponent, the Who Dat Nation, the week before. While it wasn't a big loss in points, Maher (K) did take points away from the Nighthawks defense. Would that come into play?

Nighthawks started strong on Sunday morning but the Who Dat Nation came back and retook the lead shortly before lunch. The lead would swap three more times on Sunday and leaved the two teams in a battle with less that 2 points between them. Come Monday night, the Nation only had Mark Andrews (TE) to match up against the Nighthawks Cooper Kupp (WR). The lead changes twice during the Monday night. Andrews had a long 38 yard catch to give the Nation the lead, but Cupp. wasn't done. With just 2:13 remaining in the week. Cupp caught one last catch...for a whole 2 yards. If Cupp had gotten 3 yards, the end result would favor the Nighthawks. The shortage by Cupp plus the playing of Maher(K) and New England (D) would cost the Nighthawks the chance to wrap up the regular season and cement the #1 seed. As it was, these two teams set the closest score in the history of our game, beating the previous margin of win of 0.8 points set three (3) years ago. In the best game of the year, the Who Dat Nation scrape home against the Helmand Nighthawks, 164.14 - 163.98, a difference of 0.16.

Well done to both teams. But we have to talk about the impact of this game across the league. There are only two weeks left in the regular season and we still have a mess. Let's start at the bottom, and then come back to the top.

The Drunk Monkeys continue with their record losing season and are currently placed 6th. They have been eliminated form the playoffs.

Back to the top where it gets a little messy.

The Helmand Nighthawks still retain the league lead, but have not yet clinched a play off spot. They could fall out of the playoffs in the last two weeks.

The Who Dat Nation divisional record puts them in a hole if they need to go to the countback. They need to win their last two games and have some help to finish as the top seed. If they don't get it, they could fall out of of the playoffs in the last two weeks.

The Guns of Hochuli lead the Sub Simmers division by a game, but, they have not yet clinched. Their main opposition is one game behind them and they still have to play them again. The Gunners could fall out of the playoffs in the last two weeks.

The Black Cats are the best damm Ghost team ever, but that doesn't mean very much if they don't make the playoffs. While holding a divisional advantage over the Who Dat Nation, they can still win the division, and they could fall out of the playoffs in the last two weeks.

The Australian Taipans are the last team on the ladder, living week by week. At best, they could be the #2 team, but, they could also fall out of the playoffs in the last two weeks.

All five teams are subject to falling out of the playoffs in the last two weeks. But if they win, well, there's too many variables at the moment to begin forecasting final positions. We'll have a better idea after next week.

As we head into the longest weekend of the football for the year, both the two international teams must travel to the United States as we celebrate Thanksgiving. This year, Thanksgiving occurs during Week 13 of the regular season, and someone's goose will be cooked this week. Their goose in fact could be finished by Thursday evening. We'll be covering the Guns of Hochuli hosting the Who Dat Nation. Following the events of this week, these two teams could be fighting it out for the #1 seeding in the post season, or, they could also be trying to avoid being the second team eliminated. That's how close the tail end of this regular season has been. It has been wild, but we're not done with it yet.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

Though the Nighthawks and Nations game was the marque matchup of the year, the marque player of the week did not come from that game. For the effort of 7 receptions for 184 yards and 2 touchdowns, for a total of 43.40 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Twelve MVT to Chris Goodwin (WR) of the Guns of Hochuli.

http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

*Wow. Two kicker references in the one paragraph!

Gut Wrench

12-02-19, 11:33 PM

Gunners Clinched Division
Two more clinch play off berths.

Week Thirteen in the Subsim Fantasy Football league. This was the longest week of football, no matter whether you team won or loss. For there was no team that won from the outset, there was no team who were behind from the start of the week, and most results were not decided until late in the week.

We'll go around the grounds one by one and see where your favorite team ended up, and the implications that this has for the play off seeding. And we'll do that right after this message.

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Last week the Helmand Nighthawks earned a record they didn't want - the smallest losing margin in the history of the league. That "hiccup" for the Nighthawks suddenly brought the entire league into a muddled mess. With a chance to close out the regular season as the #1 seed, they were unable to do it. This week the Nighthawks traveled to the Carolina's where the Black cats have shown they are now they best damm ghost team in the history of the league with their 6-6 record. The Cats were needing to get by the Nighthawks to make the play offs as their fantastic start to the season was now coming back to earth with a 3 game losing streak. Once again, we saw the Black Cats start two (2) players already ruled out of the season with genital herpes, but the Cats insist on starting their scabs. Matt Ryan (QB) was impressive for the Cats as they took an early lead on Thanksgiving Day, but the juggernaut of the Nighthawks were not going to be denied. Although the Nighthawks may be looking for a new kicker after Bill Maher (K) missed a field goal, the Nighthawks came to town to play for the post season. Lead by Aaron Rodgers (QB) the Nighthawks just rolled right through the Cats litter box and went on to earn a well deserved 141 - 122 win, to right their ship as they head into the final week. The win elevates the Nighthawks to the top of the league ladder, but they would have to wait on another game to know if the owned the leagues this year ... again.

Oregon was the state for the Who Dat Nation hosting the Guns of Hochuli. The Who Dat Nation had ever so quietly kept pace with the Helmand Nighthawks throughout the season until they suddenly appeared and in contention for the league regular season winner. The Gunners, even more quietly, have made minimal changes to their team that included only their 7th change when they added Todd Gurley (RB) to the team. The Nation were on fire on Thanksgiving Day as Drew Brees (QB) once again lit up the scoreboard. This time, the Gunners sounded their bugles that they were not going to away as Carson Wenzt (QB) put in one of his finest performances of the season,. As the game went into Sunday the Gunners stole the lead away from the Nation when Gurley (RB) showed why he was added to the team as he rushed for 95 yards and a TD. The Gunners cemented the weekend when Devonte Hopkins (WR) passed for a TD late Sunday night. The Gunners cruised to an easy victory over the Who Dat Nation 150 - 105, and solidified their claim on the second strongest team in the league.

The final game of the week was one that carried no television broadcast - which turned out to be good thing given the embarrassment that the Taipans suffered at the hands of the Drunk Monkeys. The Monkeys have only one win this season as the second ghost team Their sole win came against the league leaders, and surely they couldn't win again? Having been eliminated from the playoffs, the Monkeys had nothing to loose playing spoiler. And spoil they did.

The Taipans started no one on Thanksgiving Day as the Monkeys were again, playing one started down. The Taipans suffered an indignation starting the Jets (DEF) and the Monkeys saw an opportunity to seize the lead. With outstanding playing from Deshawn Watson the Monkeys pummeled the Taipans but the for the valiant effort of Julian Edelmann (WR) to keep the game close. They only needed until the second quarter on Monday night for Stefan Diggs to get his first catch of the game to record the Monkeys second win of the season and their first win at home. In an defeat that will be talked about in two weeks time as the playoffs begin, the Taipans lost a game they had no business losing. Final score Drunk Monkeys 123 - Australian Taipans 118.

Wow. Week thirteen has certainly turned the league on it's head, and has significant implications for the playoffs. Let's start with the division where it's a little clearer - the Sub Simmers.

The win by the Drunk Monkeys does nothing for their cause except bragging rights. They were eliminated weeks ago and will finish out the season as the #6 team. No amount of wins or losses will change that.

The win by the Guns of Hochuli means that they are the first team to lock in to the playoffs. The win elevates the Gunners to 7-5 and with a two game lead, the Gunners become the first team to win a division. The Gunners will head into the post season as either the #1 or the #2 seed.

The loss by the Taipans puts them on the cusp of elimination. At 6-7 the Taipans must win next week to ensure they advance to the playoffs, or else, they go into a countback situation. As we predicted weeks ago, this is the team with the most to loose, having lost some games they had no business doing so.

Let's look at the Surface Skimmers division where the play off picture is a little more muddle.

The Helmand Nighthawks win elevates them to 9-4 and ensures they have a play off berth - which seeding they have is still undecided. The Nighthawks play the Drunk Monkeys next week where they are expected to win - however, one of the two Monkeys win this year has come against the Nighthawks. The Nighthawks will go into the playoffs as either the #1 or #3 seed.

The loss by the Who Dat Nation drops them back one game behind the Nighthawks at 8-4. The loss does secure them a playoff seeding, at worst as the #3 seed. But, they can still win the division. The Nation plays the Black Cats next week, their divisional rival, and in order to get to the countback, the Nation needs to win over the Black Cats and have the Nighthawks loose.

The third team in the Surface Skimmers division are the Black Cats. The Black cats are tied with the Taipans with a record of 6-7 and must win over the Nation - and then have some help, in order to make the playoffs. The Cats can only rise to the #4 seed, but a loss will eliminate them from the playoffs either on win loss record, or on a countback. As such, the Black Cats when they travel to Oregon to face the Who Dat Nation is our Match of the Week. With the potential #1 and elimination riding on the outcome, it's bound to be the best damm ghost appearance by the Cats.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

If ever there was a time for a player to show up, it was this week. For the effort of 243 yards, 3passing TD's, 1 reception for 6 yards and a recieving TD for a total of 33.36 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Thirteen MVT to Deshawn Watson (QB) of the Drunk Monkeys.

http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

Gut Wrench

12-09-19, 11:58 PM

Nighthawks Stumble
Playoffs Decided By Countbacks (Multiples)

Week Fourteen in the Subsim Fantasy Football league, and if you put your money on the favorites this week, you lost. We'll find out how the league leaders stumbled in the final game of the regular season to a team they had no business losing to - for a second time in four weeks. We'll find out which team backed their way into the playoffs after losing on the last play of the weekend and going to the countback, and we'll talk about the two teams that have just stormed through the league in the past four weeks, who will be meeting each other in the first round of the playoffs.

And if you thought you knew who was going to finish where, well, you and your crystal ball better come and put a team together because in the last thirty (30) minutes of football this weekend, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) had to rewrite and recalculate the final seeding five (5) times.

But before we do any of that, and just in case there's an Antonio Brown story looming, here's the most important message you need to hear today.

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When you're the "big dog" in the league, everyone wants to knock you off. Including the team with the leagues worst record. It's embarrassing when you loose to them once, but to do it a second time just weeks later - when the playoffs are on the line? Makes you question whether the Nighthawks can go all the way. Playing at home and still seething after recent losses where they lost to the Drunk Monkeys and had the smallest losing margin in the history of the league, the Nighthawks were hosting the Monkeys back in merry old England where you would think they would steamroll over them. Hold the phone though. This year we've been talking about the Black Cats possible being the best damm ghost team in the league - well the Monkeys put paid to that by defeating the league ladders for the second time in a few weeks. And this wasn't just a narrow win, this was a win of significant margin to disrupt the betting on the Nighthawks. At Wembley Stadium, where the Nighthawks have been unbeatable, The Drunk Monkeys defeat the home side 135 - 105. The Nighthawks secured a playoff berth last week, but the loss this week will need two (2) other games to be completed before final seeding.

In Oregon, our Match of the Day was the Who Dat Nation hosting the Black Cats. The Black Cats have exemplified "irritating", winning games this season they had no business doing so. The Who Dat Nation suffered at the hands of the Black Cats earlier in the season putting them in the position where they would have to go through the countback sequence with the league leaders. The Nation came ready ready to play, lead by Drew Brees (QB) who individually put up 56.06 points. And the Nation were going to need it 'cause the Black Cats brought their A game. Matt Ryan (QB) responded in kind with a 30.82 response, but that additional 20 points by Brees for the Nation would be the deciding factor. The Cats were valiant chasing down the Nation but ultimately fell short. Final score in Oregon, the Who Dat Nation win 158 - 134. The Nation would be waiting on the result of our final game for their final seeding.

The Guns of Hochuli had already secured the Sub Simmers division, the Australian Taipans were reminisce of the NFC (L)East, fighting for their lives with a possible losing record to make the playoffs. The Gunners started strong taking an early lead on Thursday with minimal points, but it was the Taipans running game that allowed them to retake the lead Sunday morning. The Gunners fired back with Austin Ekeler (RB) putting on an outstanding performance Sunday afternoon. The Taipans were marginally behind the Gunners with just Carson Wenzt (QB) to play for the Gunners and Zac Ertz (TE) for the Taipans. The Taipans closed the gap to within 1 point, and it looked like we were going to have another narrow margin winning performance, in this high scoring game. At the end of regulation time, the Gunners held a narrow three (3) point margin. On the last play of the weekend, Wenzt (QB) threw, surpassing 300 yards, to Ertz (TE) who didn't reach 100 yards. Guns of Hochuli win a thrilling high scoring game 187 - 176.

So with all those results and the implications therein, we have to take this apart piece by piece in order to achieve the right seeding. We'll start with what we knew before this weekend.

The Drunk Monkeys finish the regular season with three wins (two against the Nighthawks) and were eliminated from the playoffs beforehand. Their position doesn't change, they get grandstand tickets to the playoffs.

Everything else is up for grabs.

Now, before we get started, a moment to take note. The countback rules have been in place since the league started. This is the first time in the history of the league we've had to use this many countbacks to establish the final seedings. In previous years, it's been one or two teams. This year, five teams are in countback for four play off positions. Let's roll the dice and find who misses out.

The regular season ends with the Helmand Nighthawks, Who Dat Nation and Guns of Hochuli at 9-5. Three teams who last week ensured they had a play off position but their seeding was not yet established. The Guns of Hochuli won the Sub Simmers division last week, so they are either the #1 or the #2 team. The Helmand Nighthawks and the Who Dat Nation are in the same division, so that's where our first countback begins. The Who Dat Nation have a 3-3 divisional record while the Helmand Nighthawks have a 4-2 divisional record. This drops the Who Dat Nation down to the #3 seed, but we still haven't established the #1 seed. The Guns of Hochuli have an equal divisional record of 4-2, so we have to go the second countback; total points scored for the season. The Nighthawks, prior to this week, held almost a 300 point lead in total points scored for the season over the Guns of Hochuli, so this week, despite their loss, hold a reduced margin of total points. This gives us the #1 seed for the playoffs of the Helmand Nighthawks, who hold home field advantage. The Gunners remain divisional winners and ensure they are the #2 seed.

Let's jump down to the #4 seed where the Black Cats and the Australian Taipans are tied at 6-8. The divisional winning percentage is ignored as they are neither in the same division nor contending for the Divisional Winner, so we go to back to total points scored. The Australian Taipans despite having the same record, held a 300 point lead in total points scored for the season, which like the Nighthawks, was never going to change. The Black Cats needed to win to get in, and on the countback, fall to the #5 seed, and get to watch the playoffs from the grandstands with the Drunk Monkeys. The Australian Taipans slither through the backdoor to take the #4 seed.

Alright, now that we have the seedings, let's look at the matchups. The Helmand Nighthawks, rightfully, as the #1 seed, host the #4 seed the Australian Taipans at Wembley Stadium. Both teams in the last three weeks have lost to the Drunk Monkeys, the lowest scoring team in the league, but these two teams represent the highest scoring teams in the league. A repeat of last years Torpedo Bowl, this should be a shoot out.

The Guns of Hochuli get to wait for the Who Dat Nation to come across the country. These two teams have been the hot hand in the past few weeks, and if you go back to the early weeks, if they had a slight change of luck, these two teams would b the matchup for the Torpedo Bowl. Alas, only one will go on, the other will play in the Consolation Series.

But we'll have all the actions from both games next week, when we find out who gets to go to the Torpedo Bowl.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

There were some outstanding performances this week, but only one performance that set the seedings. Had this player rushed for just 1 yard less, three of the four seedings would not have gone to countback. For the effort of 101 rushing yards, 4 reception for 112 yards and a receiving TD for a total of 43.30 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Fourteen MVT to Austine Eckler (RB) of the Guns of Hochuli.

http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

Gut Wrench

12-16-19, 11:12 PM

Gunners Shock Win
Nighthawks In A(nother) Thriller

Week Fifteen in the Subsim Fantasy Football league. It's the first week of the playoffs and the last week to advance to the Torpedo Bowl. We'll cover both games, with a special love for the Nighthawks and Taipans game

The Black Cats and the Drunk Monkeys got the week off to prepare for the Toilet Bowl Game, so they were, naturally, in Las Vegas. So let's delve deep into the games that were played, right after this important message.

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The #2 seed Guns of Hochuli were hosting the Oregon based Who Dat Nation #3 seed. The Nation had outscored the Gunners throughout the regular season, but lost on a countback to the Nighthawks. Relegated to the Consolation Series, the Nation had to go on the road. The Gunners had ever so quietly advanced through the Sub Simmers Division to take a throttle hold on the Divisional a couple of weeks out from the end of the regular season, but had to wait out other games. That lack of prominence plays into the Gunners "quiet achievement" game as they hosted the "sing and dancing" Nation. Carson Wendzt (QB) was impressive for the Gunners, but it was their receiving corps that really shone this week. By late Sunday they had amassed an impressive lead, and even with the Who Dat Nation having stacked their team for a late Monday night charge, it may have been a record breaking night for Drew Brees (QB) but it wasn't enough to advance. Trailing by over 100 points the Nation would need a(nother) miracle if they were going to come from that far back. The chase byt eh Nation wasn't enough and in the end, the Gunners ran out winners to advance to the Torpedo Bowl. Final score, Guns of Hochuli 173 - Who Dat Nation 153.

So lets change our focus on the other match up of the weekend. First their background. The Helmand Nighthawks were the dominating team all year until the final weeks when they fell to the worst team in the league, (twice) the Drunk Monkeys. The Australian Taipans despite their sub .500% record, had a positive for and against, but they too also fell to the Drunk Monkeys, costing them the #2 seed. The Taipans have set the lowest losing margin (12 points) in the history of the league for the second consecutive year. They traveled to England and Lamar Jackson just lit up the scoreboard on Thursday. The Nighthawks benched Aaron Rodgers (QB) for Jimmy Garapollo (QB) and that almost cost them the game. With a poor performance at QB, the Nighthawks barely managed to get in front of the Taipans by the end of Sunday morning. The Taipans came back Sunday afternoon to have a narrow lead, but it was the last second touchdown catch of Cooper Kupp (WR) that cemented the win for the Nighthawks. Even with William Lutz (K) playing on Monday night, the TD by Cupp (WR) was too big for the Taipans to kick over. Having no players on Monday, the Nighthawks had to wait out Lutz(K) before the could celebrate, and the Taipans to mourn yet another close loss. Final Score The Helmand Nighthawks 161 defeated the Australian Taipans 151.

So what does that mean. Pack your Guns, Hochuli, you're going to England as the two divisional winners go head to head in the Torpedo Bowl. They only met once in the regular season and the Nighthawks ran out almost 90 point winners.

The Who Dat Nation after traveling across the country, get to come home and host the Australian Taipans for the bronze medal. The Who Dat Nation and the Taipans met twice during the regular season, with the Nation winning both games.

In the Toilet Bowl, we go to Carolina where the Black Cats will host the Drunk Monkeys. The Monkeys met the Cats twice during the regular season and lost both, however, unlike the Black cats, the Drunk Monkeys defeated the league leaders, the Helmand Nighthawks, twice during the regular season. It might even be worth watching this game.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

Some of our best performances of the year came from teams that lost this week. T'was hard to pinpoint a single player - but we found one. For the effort of 11 receptions for 142 yards for a total of 31.20 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Fifteen MVT to Travis Kelce (TE) of the Guns of Hochuli, making for back to back wins by the Gunners.

http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

Gut Wrench

12-23-19, 11:33 PM

Guns of Hochuli Win Torpedo Bowl
...another record margin against Nighthawk.

Week Sixteen in the Subsim Fantasy Football league, and it's the final week of the year. Sixteen regular season games have come to an end and the second of the two playoff games have closed, and do we have one of the best Torpedo Bowl finals...ever. In 10 years of Subsim Fantasy Football, never have we had what happened in Wembley, England occurred.

We go around the games starting at the bottom and work our way up to the one game that represents Subsim Fantasy Football. And we'll do all that right after this message.

NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM.

Let's start with the Toilet Bowl.

After yet another year where we didn't see Coach Thad, we have to ask if he and Coach FYC were using the same technique. The Monkeys had a woeful season, with their only highlight being two wins against the regular season winner, the Helmand Nighthawks. Coach FYC on the other hand with his absence was in the hunt from the first game as they established themselves as the best damm Ghost team in the league. Last week the two teams had the bye and this week they met in Carolina where it was no contest. The Cats got all their starters back, including Sequain Barkley who single handed demolished the Drunk Monkey opposition. The Drunk Monkeys were valiant but the Cats just put up too many points. In hindsight, the Black Cats quite possibly could have been playing in the Torpedo Bowl, had Coach FYC bothered to show up (again). As it was, the Black Cats easily accounted for the Drunk Monkeys 180 - 98.

Our Bronze medal Game was the Who Dat Nation hosting the Australian Taipans. Let's talk about how they got here. The Taipans lead the Sub Simmers Division for the first three weeks before releasing it to the Guns of Hochuli, and never getting it back. They went on to find new ways to loose to put up a second consecutive year of narrowest losing margins. They also proved you can find the #1 player in the waiver, but if your wide receivers don't catch the ball, you wont win the season. The Who Dat nation trailed the Helmand Nighthawks week after week through the regular season, losing divisional games which hampered their run into the playoffs. After a narrow loss to the Divisional winner, the Nation were forced into the lower bracket, where they lost to the Gunners. There would be no repeating that this week as the Who Dat Nation of Michael Thomas (WR) and Alvin Kamara (RB) easily accounted for the sub .500% team of the Australian Taipans. While the Taipans were able to add some respectability to yhe score late Sunday night and Monday, it was never going to be a "miracle". In Oregon, the Who Dat Nation for the third time this year, accounting for the Austrlaian Taipans, defeating them 173 - 132.

And now.... the Grand Finale.

Last year, the Guns of Hochuli were the lowest finishing team, a shock to the dynasty of the Gunners. This year they came to play, ever so quietly and without fanfare. They took the lead of the Subsimmers Division in Week Four and lead the entire regular season by a game. As the #2 seed, they accounted for the visiting Who Dat Nation, and set sail to to England to meet their opponent.

The Helmand Nighthawks, the team that Bill Belichick once said "wished I coached them" is the powerhouse of the league. From the first week they lead, but this year, they were closely pursued. In the last few weeks of the regular season, they almost lost their dynasty, falling to the lowest team in the league twice, and then, losing in the closest margin ever recorded in the history of our sport. It couldn't possible happen again, could it?

Gunners stacked their team to play late Sunday, so the Nighthawks went ahead early with Jimmy Garrapolo (QB), but the points scoring just wasn't there. When Deandrew White (WR) caught just one catch for one yard for the Nighthawks, you wondered if this game was going to be a boil-over. Mister Chris is not that easily swayed, as Christian McCaffrey (RB) bolstered the Nighthawks score. On last Saturday, the Gunners took a narrow lead. It would all come down to Sunday. The two teams went back and forth, trading the lead with whoever had the ball. The Nighthawks had no one playing Sunday afternoon and the Gunners had held back for the primetime. It would be the final catch of Tyree Hill (TE) for 1.4 points that would give the Guns of Hochuli a narrow lead, which they would hold until full time. In the closest scoring game of all time, the record having only been reset earlier in the month, the Guns of Hochuli become the 2019 Torpedo Bowl Champions, defeating the Helmand Nighthawks, 121.86 to 121.72. The margin lowers the closest wining score to 0.14 points - that's a yard and an inch. One yard and one inch was the difference between Gold and Silver in the Torpedo Bowl. Absolutely outstanding fantasy football played by both teams.

Congratulations to the Guns of Hochuli on their second win in the league.

Come back tomorrow as we complete the tally of votes and announce the 2019 All Star Team

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

Historically, the winner of the Week Sixteen award has come from the Torpedo Bowl, but with the record lowering effort, it was one player in another game, the Toilet Bowl, that shone the brightest

For the effort of 189 rushing yards with a rushing touchdown, and 4 receptions for 90 yards for a total of 49.90 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Sixteen MVT to Sequain Berkley (RB) of the Black Cats.

http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

Gut Wrench

12-25-19, 12:24 AM

2019 All Star Team Named.
Honoring a childhood of 50 years.

It's that time of year folks. The votes have been tallied, the lobby is over, the decision have been made and what is left are the biggest and brightest starts of our league. Some of these players didn't have a winning record, but they continued to top the charts of our league scoring week after week.

Each year, the All Star Team is names after after an icon, a figure so easily recognizable that no Google search is needed. An icon so associated with goodness and purity, everything that Subsim Fantasy Football represents. While we could have gone with a much larger, and yellow person, the grime of the game essentially chose the All Star name itself.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, the 2019 All Star Team

THE CAROLL SPINNEY GROUCHES

https://cdn.cnn.com/cnnnext/dam/assets/181017062653-caroll-spinney-exlarge-169.jpg

Starting Line up:

QB: Lamar Jackson (Australian Taipans)
WR: Michael Thomas (Who Dat Nation)
Chris Godwin (Guns of Hochuli)
Cooper Kupp (Helmand Nighthawks)
RB:Christian McCaffrey (Helmand Nighthawks)
Aaron Jones (Australian Taipans)
TE: Travis Kelce (Guns of Hochuli)
K:Will Lutz (Australian Taipans)
DEF: New England (Helmand Nighthawks)

Bench:

Dak Prescott (Who Dat Nation)
Julio Jones (Black Cats)
Ezekiel Elliott (Drunk Monkeys)
Greg Kittle (Black Cats)
Justn Tucker (Drunk Monkeys)
Pittsburg (Who Dat Nation

There you have it folks, as voted by your writers covering the greatest fantasy sport in the world.

It's Christmas Eve in the US, and while the rest of the world has already had a visit from "The Fat Man", The Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) wish you and your families a safe and Merry Christmas.

We'll put this column to bed and dust it off in July next year when we'll welcome you back to sixteen of the most frustrating weeks of the year -where you can win a Championship by the narrowest of margins.

We look forward to see you for the 2019 season.