You Know You're Getting Old...

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/SMfOe79.jpg?1

We can't all be in such great shape as Nobby Penfold, and the idea for this thread arose when I returned just now from my daily hypertension-lowering bike ride: I came in, aimed an imaginary six-gun at my wife, as I often do, then quickly decided instead that I'd better go to the toilet.

How do you members over 50 know you're near or past your sell-by date, apart from having to sit down to get your socks on? I'd prefer real personal ones, rather than the well-known platitudes.

I knew... the first time nice a young bird smiled at me, not with the come-hither expression of former times, but instead like she would a sick pet.

(PS: younger members please feel free to contribute with mockery)

[Dowly]

(PS: younger members please feel free to contribute with mockery)

http://i.imgur.com/c0vi6Qv.jpg

[Aktungbby]

http://i1084.photobucket.com/albums/j408/donna577/funny-birthday-cake1_zpso9kbqmup.jpg (http://s1084.photobucket.com/user/donna577/media/funny-birthday-cake1_zpso9kbqmup.jpg.html) When the local bordello restricts your selection only to those ladies who know CPR and bills extra for the defibrillator to be standing by!:k_confused::Kaleun_Crying:(^thanks Donna!)

[Wolferz]

Polite children address you as "Sir"

You look in the mirror one day and see your dad staring back at you.



For all of our mocking young whippersnappers...

Like you we were and like us you'll be.
Contemplate that, I dare you.:D:haha:

[Fubar2Niner]

When your ball hair starts to get as silver as the hair on your head :( Also you can't spell simple sentences !!!

[Sailor Steve]

This is meant to be a family-friendly forum. Please keep it clean.

[Sailor Steve]

My ex-wife was the youngest of three sisters, the eldest being the product of an earlier marriage. When we were still newlyweds my 70-year-old father-in-law once told me "You know you're getting old when you realize your children are starting to look middle-aged."

[Wolferz]

This is meant to be a family-friendly forum. Please keep it clean.

Nothing wrong with hair on balls or grass either.:O:


http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/wilson2.jpg

[Platapus]

I knew I was getting old when I recognized the functionality of banisters.

Before that banisters were something decorative that little girls "like" to slide down.

But now I know and appreciate banisters.

The other sign also involved stairs.

When I was younger if I were to find a paper clip while cleaning up I would bound up the stairs with the single paperclip to put it in the office.

These days, I save up stuff and actually plan trips up stairs. I used to laugh at those little baskets that sit on the stairs... now I think they are a great idea.

[The Dark Wolf]

When I recently turned 59 and my 20 year old son said "tragic"
I also noticed it takes me longer to recover from a depth-charge attack :wah:

[Tango589]

I've noticed multi knees aching more than usual...

Is the rot setting early?

[Red October1984]

I could add a bit of my discussion I had the other day with some friends...but you all would laugh.

Some of you got over 50 years on me. :har:

[Aktungbby]

^50 years ago I used to want to change the world; now I just want to leave the room with a little dignity...:huh:

[Buddahaid]

^50 years ago I used to want to change the world; now I just want to leave the room with a little dignity...:huh:

Oh man.........I here you on that note. This new world sucks and get off my over-watered lawn you young whippersnappers!

Seriously, there is a huge shift with the PADD replacing rote. Young people these days can't do math without a calculator. The relationships of value are lost. Ever try to get change when the cash register is on the blink? It's disgusting!

[Wolferz]

Oh man.........I hear you on that note. This new world sucks and get off my over-watered lawn you young whippersnappers!

Seriously, there is a huge shift with the PADD replacing rote. Young people these days can't do math without a calculator. The relationships of value are lost. Ever try to get change when the cash register is on the blink? It's disgusting!

C'mon on now...
It's fun to make a McDonalds employee cry.:haha:

Experience and treachery will always win over youth and enthusiasm.

[fireftr18]

My first indicator was, when in a public place, I started seeing two nice looking ladies approach. As they got closer, I would realize they were mom and daughter. A later indicator was in the same situation, I would prefer the older lady over the younger. Now it's just my knees screaming at me going up and down stairs.

[Jimbuna]

When you start to feel the aches and pains in various joints and noticeably slow down.

When going to the garage to get beer stocks for the fridge is an irritable chore in itself.

When you give serious consideration to making the rear area of the house maintenance free at a considerable cost/expense.

My forgetter's getting better
But my rememberer is broke
To you that may seem funny
But, to me, that is no joke.

For when I'm 'here' I'm wondering
If I really should be 'there'
And, when I try to think it through,
I haven't got a prayer!

Often times I walk into a room,
Say "what am I here for?"
I wrack my brain, but all in vain
A zero, is my score.

At times I put something away
Where it is safe, but, Gee!
The person it is safest from
Is, generally, me!

When shopping I may see someone,
Say "Hi" and have a chat,
Then, when the person walks away
I ask myself, "who was that?"

Yes, my forgetter's getting better
While my rememberer is broke,
And it's driving me plumb crazy
And that isn't any joke.

P.S. Send this to everyone you know . . . because I don't remember who sent it to me!

[Wolferz]

Alzheimers is scary isn't it?:salute:

[Jimbuna]

Aye, took my wifes father at the ripe young age of 59.

[Eichhörnchen]

I would prefer the older lady over the younger.

I get this, too! Watching a movie, and all the guys out there are supposed to be lusting after the teen daughter and I'm thinking: "Are they kidding? Just look at the mother!"

[STEED]

You know when your getting old when you see a naked busty women saying lets do it and you turn around and say I'm shagged out and need some sleep.

[Sailor Steve]

Alzheimers is scary isn't it?:salute:
I don't know. There's always a bright side.

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a325/SailorSteve/Alzheimers_zpshayxh0au.jpg (http://s14.photobucket.com/user/SailorSteve/media/Alzheimers_zpshayxh0au.jpg.html)

[Aktungbby]

Alzheimers is scary isn't it? You look in the mirror one day and see your dad staring back at you.

When your ball hair starts to get as silver as the hair on your head :( Also you can't spell simple sentences !!!

Oh man.........I here you on that note. This new world sucks and get off my over-watered lawn you young whippersnappers!


:har: ^It begins! Every morning I take my Aracept and drop the wife's hairdryer in an inch of water in the tub just to jolt the Amyloid plaque around just enough so I can post online...@ Wolferz: as for seeing daddy in the mirror: that just pisses me off; he makes fun of all the hair I've lost!:O: I used to guard a large SF senior facility with 100+ Alzheimer patients meandering aimlessly in just their hospital smocks...and Depends...all still trying to get 'lucky'...and pulling the fire alarms. I put my mom in a home straightaway when, on my visit to inspect, she turned to me and asked "Do I know your mother?"...:huh:
https://s3.amazonaws.com/lowres.cartoonstock.com/death-die-died-death-life-living-rjo1184_low.jpg

[Eichhörnchen]

I swear this is true. My father-in-law once said to us there was this programme on the radio that evening which he really didn't want to miss: it was about memory-loss. He forgot to tune in and missed it.:88)

[Platapus]

You know you are old when "shooting up" involves the enema bag

(Salute to the late great Rodney Dangerfield)

[Mud]

When your wife is looking like an old bag and she's 5 years younger than you are.

[STEED]

Today's pop music is bloody awful what a load of dribble it is.

In my day....:03::haha:

[Platapus]

When your wife is looking like an old bag and she's 5 years younger than you are.

A few years ago, I ran in to a guy I want to Tech School with. The first thing I thought was "man, he looks old!" Then I realized we were the same age. :wah:

[Jimbuna]

When you go to a disco and somebody offers you a chair.

[Aktungbby]

When you go to a disco and somebody offers you a chair.


https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/56/0c/ea/560cea03c8ce29b679cf6293bec5d409.jpg:rotfl2:
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/86/62/fd/8662fd5c1017fea5f14a2ca6dfadc12e.jpg

[Eichhörnchen]

When you start taking pockets full of grunting-bunting into town, in case there isn't any in the public toilets.

[Fubar2Niner]

Baah humbug, use newspapers lad, if you don't need 'em you can read 'em. They are probably better for the former use anyway these days.


Fubar

[STEED]

Taking more pain killers

Running to the bog every 10 minutes

shouting out the window - "Hey you kids get off the lawn and turn that dam music down"

[Fubar2Niner]

Suddenly thinking photographic images of Maggie Thatcher look like page three girls in a hall of mirror exhibition.

[STEED]

Suddenly thinking photographic images of Maggie Thatcher look like page three girls in a hall of mirror exhibition.

Your sick! :o

Gets some therapy fast. :stare:














:har: :har: :har: :har:

[Fubar2Niner]

I'm trying................... Immediate reaction, open beer! Do you think this will help, or at least give me a glimmer of hope 'till I can get a GP appointment ? Thanks again bloody Cameron !!!

[STEED]

I'm trying................... Immediate reaction, open beer! Do you think this will help, or at least give me a glimmer of hope 'till I can get a GP appointment ? Thanks again bloody Cameron !!!

http://4pfotenforum.iphpbb3.com/forum/images/smilies/big_rofl.gif http://www.sherv.net/cm/emo/laughing/roflmao.gif http://i.imgur.com/rxK9BZW.gif

[Armistead]

when you're in bed with your wife and most the moaning is due to body aches and pains....

[Wolferz]

when you're in bed with your wife and most the moaning is due to body aches and pains....

Her too!?:O:

When you get to that point, sex is no longer a luxury, it's a miracle.

[Aktungbby]

Today's pop music is bloody awful what a load of dribble it is.

In my day....:03::haha:
Old is when I wonder exactly what load of dribble you're referencing...:timeout:
Her too!?:O:

When you get to that point, sex is no longer a luxury, it's a miracle.
Getting LUCKY lies in Not Getting Lucky!:O:

[Platapus]

You know you are getting old when you remember Pluto being a planet and indigo being a color.

[Harvs]

I'm trying................... Immediate reaction, open beer! Do you think this will help, or at least give me a glimmer of hope 'till I can get a GP appointment ? Thanks again bloody Cameron !!!

Maybe its the beer goggles thats bringing on your illness but then you would have to drink bucket loads of beer to make Thatcher look half sexy.

[Tango589]

You know you are getting old when you remember Pluto being a planet and indigo being a color.

Dammit, this means I'm old already!


*Damn kids*

*I remember when it was all fields round here*

*During the war...*

[swamprat69er]

I may grow older, but I will never grow up.

[STEED]

When your offspring pack your bags and dump you in a OAP home.

[Jimbuna]

When you have difficulty remembering the thought you had a minute or so earlier.

[vienna]

Wait,....what?...


<O>

[Aktungbby]

When your offspring pack your bags and dump you in a OAP home.
AHEM! Your acknowledged offspring...you know: just the ruthless jackals with their own copies of the will that are getting impatient! God knows I can't remember any of their mothers' names...:/\\!! :haha:

[vienna]

I gave this a bit of thought. I think the definitive moment was when I realized I was older than the President of the US. If there is anything heinous to blame Obama for, it is making me realize I am quite old now. If he runs again, I will not vote for him...

This subject brought to mind something I've thought about in recent years. I've lived in my present neighborhood for 40 years and have been in and out of the area about another 10 years. In that time, I've noticed a lot of overt changes; buildings torn down, buildings going up, businesses closing, new ones opening, etc. Some of the changes were far more subtle. A few years back, a clerk in a store I frequent made the offhand comment that I must have lived here a long time since he has seen me around for several years. After he said this, I thought about some of the people whom I had seen as more or less "regulars" in the area. I didn't really know any of them, they were just people I would see in the streets, in the stores, on the busses. Then I remembered one particular person. I never knew his real name, but his nickname was "Three Fingers" owing to two truncated fingers on his left hand. He was a low level bookie and I had been introduced to him by a co-worker at a bar we used to both frequent. It was a literally nodding acquaintance, both of us just giving a silent nod of acknowledgement on the occasions we noticed each other. He was already in his early 50s when I first saw him and I was in my early 30s. Through the years I watched him age. He was fairly healthy at first, then he began a long, slow decline. Walking became an effort for him. A few years later, I saw him walking with a walker. Then, he was using a motorized wheelchair. Next, an portable oxygen device was added to his needs. Then I saw him around no more...

I thought about the whole sequence, watching someone fade and decline, then fade off for good. The clerks comment made me realize: perhaps I have become some other person's "Three Fingers", the old guy they've seen around the neighborhood who is slowly declining and who will someday fade away, leaving behind the question "Whatever happened to that old guy..."...


<O>

[eddie]

I knew things were going bad the other day. I got up and put my shirt on but buttoned it wrong. Then spent the next 15 minutes trying to figure out how I did that in the first place! Ah, the Golden years!:D

That plus my youngest son just turned 40, and I get Medicare next month.

[Eichhörnchen]

I thought about the whole sequence, watching someone fade and decline, then fade off for good. The clerks comment made me realize: perhaps I have become some other person's "Three Fingers", the old guy they've seen around the neighborhood who is slowly declining and who will someday fade away, leaving behind the question "Whatever happened to that old guy..."...


<O>

This is both poignant and true: why is it we notice ageing the most in those people who are "familiar strangers" to us; familiar faces of long-standing in our home town? And who indeed might be out there watching us in the same way...?

[Tango589]

6:00 AM is the time you get up, not when you go to bed.

[Aktungbby]

"Whatever happened to that old guy..."...


<O>
When I was young I thought I would be the exception to the rule and live forever...I'm beginning to perceive that is not going to be the case....Damn! I was just getting the hang of it all too! :shucks: :stare:

[vienna]

Then there is the relative timeline of memories: when you are young, everything was a few years ago, maybe several years ago. When you age, years turn into decades. My teen age years? Fifty decades ago, an entire half century. Watergate, Nixon, the end of the Vietnam War? Four Decades ago. Reagan, Iran-Contra? Three decades ago. Everything is in lumps of decades, not years...

Add to this the realization that even if I live to be 100 years old, I will still have fewer years to live than the amount I have already lived...

I still plan to live to be 100; there are still too many people I have yet to annoy...


<O>

[Betonov]

I'm older than my own country :O:
Can't se why you are complaining

[swamprat69er]

I intend to work and live until 2045. It is called 'Freedom 99'.:)

[fireftr18]

I'm older than my own country :O:
Can't se why you are complaining
:k_rofl:

[Jimbuna]

Then there is the relative timeline of memories: when you are young, everything was a few years ago, maybe several years ago. When you age, years turn into decades. My teen age years? Fifty decades ago, an entire half century. Watergate, Nixon, the end of the Vietnam War? Four Decades ago. Reagan, Iran-Contra? Three decades ago. Everything is in lumps of decades, not years...

Add to this the realization that even if I live to be 100 years old, I will still have fewer years to live than the amount I have already lived...

I still plan to live to be 100; there are still too many people I have yet to annoy...


<O>

Fifty decades eh? :hmmm:

You win the oldest on SubSim prize by a country mile :)

:03:

[swamprat69er]

Fifty decades eh? :hmmm:

You win the oldest on SubSim prize by a country mile :)

:03:
I caught that too. I was waiting to see if you would comment on it. :har:

[Jimbuna]

I caught that too. I was waiting to see if you would comment on it. :har:

Comment?....took my breath away and nearly made me speechless :)

[u crank]

Fifty decades eh? :hmmm:

You win the oldest on SubSim prize by a country mile :)

:03:

Go easy on him. This is what happens when you get old. :D

Wait a second........never mind ....I forgot what I was going to say. :O:

[STEED]

When your drugs cabinet is so over loaded you could open up a drugs store.

[Wolferz]

When you start threads about getting old.:03::yep:


I'm not old. Just really, really ripe.:sunny:

[Fubar2Niner]

When you think Eminem is a bag of sweets.

[Harvs]

When you can remember that games used to come on a cassette tape that took 4 hours to load and your commodore 64 had no memory so you had to do it every stuffin time. :/\\!!

[Fubar2Niner]

Commodore 64..... You were lucky lad. Spectrum ZX here. My eyes are watering.

[Harvs]

When you know Dos

[Aktungbby]

When your drugs cabinet is so over loaded you could open up a drugs store.

Some of us are so old we still call it 'the apothecary'!:woot:

[Fubar2Niner]

Some of us are so old we still call it 'the apothecary'!:woot:

:har: Eye of newt, skin of toad.... ahhh memories

[Harvs]

When your first state of the art games console was a Hanimex tv tennis game played on a black and white tv that had a wooden cabinet the size of a bus.

[Eichhörnchen]

Yeah, and it was down the pub!

[Torplexed]

When you actually start buying into that claptrap about "sexy senior citizens". :D

http://pyxis.homestead.com/Old-and-lovin-it..jpg

[Aktungbby]

When you actually start buying into that claptrap about "sexy senior citizens". :D

http://pyxis.homestead.com/Old-and-lovin-it..jpg
You a talkin' 'bout 'death in the saddle' ol' pard?:wah: http://cache3.asset-cache.net/gc/tlp1004430-elderly-cowboys-attending-the-old-cowboy-gettyimages.jpg?v=1&c=IWSAsset&k=2&d=0EhlWqpbOYGbljioIpGf6pZ5Hr43oJzquBq7imY%2beLxFmL GiFEaKs3CjA9uZxp%2bL

[Torplexed]

You a talkin 'death in the saddle' ol pard?:wah: http://cache3.asset-cache.net/gc/tlp1004430-elderly-cowboys-attending-the-old-cowboy-gettyimages.jpg?v=1&c=IWSAsset&k=2&d=0EhlWqpbOYGbljioIpGf6pZ5Hr43oJzquBq7imY%2beLxFmL GiFEaKs3CjA9uZxp%2bL


Yup. Going out with my saline bags on. :)

[Wolferz]

Yup. Going out with my saline bags on. :)

I think it would be more enjoyable going out with her silicone bags on.:D

[STEED]

Fighting off viruses takes longer and longer the older you get.

My uncle gave me this advice years ago - What ever you do don't get old.

[Harvs]

When the prostate exams start :o

[STEED]

When the prostate exams start :o

If your over 50 you can tell the wife sorry darling I'm masturbating tonight its good for my prostate. So the research goes not sure how it would affect your marriage.

[Wolferz]

If your over 50 you can tell the wife sorry darling I'm masturbating tonight its good for my prostate. So the research goes not sure how it would affect your marriage.

Most wives will appreciate the reprieve.:03::O:

[Aktungbby]

If your over 50 you can tell the wife sorry darling I'm masturbating tonight its good for my prostate. So the research goes not sure how it would affect your marriage.

Most wives will appreciate the reprieve.:03::O:

"NOT tonight Hunnybunch" I'm going the scientific route!:arrgh!: http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/prevent_prostate_cancer/printer.php (http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/prevent_prostate_cancer/printer.php) Where's my ginger, oregano, rosemary, and green tea and the Cabernet!???:Kaleun_Salivating::Kaleun_Party:http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3072021.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3072021.stm)

[mapuc]

Found this picture on an another forum, When looking at it, I recalled this thread

http://i1235.photobucket.com/albums/ff440/mapuc/thumb-Exclusive%20Club.jpg

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