EUROZOMBIE

[Eichhörnchen]

Every May a glittering (usually bearded) lurex-clad titan is resurrected, which exerts an appalling fascination for the normally staid citizens of Europe. Even the anally retentive British (especially the anally retentive British).

There's a febrile week of hand-wringing anticipation, the monster is finally unleashed, then some tranny with a beard comes mincing out (or a bunch of Lithuanian dwarves in National Costume) and everyone complains bitterly about him/her/it winning. It all then all disappears up its own backside as quickly as it came.

Yes, it's Eurovision. Who knows: maybe the Scots are hoping to escape this on September 18th and that's the real reason for the referendum. Good luck with that. And if our pals in the US are reading this, you wouldn't understand, trust me.

I love it. I'm deeply ashamed but there it is. My wife and I get the snacks and beer in and turn off the phone. It's an annual event. Is this so wrong?

[ExFishermanBob]

It's wrong....but so right. My (Scottish) wife loves it - from her time living in Italy, I think, where it was a good excuse for a night in and a party. I'm not so keen.

We stopped watching for a few years until they changed the voting mechanism so that is wasn't as political. I enjoyed the last one and was quite pleased that the bearded lady won as his performance was very good but I thought that other songs were better. That might sound a little confused to non-Europeans, but the wording is correct. I think.

If we get independence I suspect we won't be allowed to join in. Apparently everything will go wrong, we'll be invaded by aliens, nobody will love us, etc., so we'll not be able to send anyone to Eurovision. On the other hand, perhaps we could send Karen Mathieson from Capercaillie with a beautiful Gaidhlig song...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ll-7j0Hs9M

It's only about 200 years old (the song, not the video). If you know what the lyrics mean (and who the writer was) it will break your heart. In fact, now I think of it, it's quite apt for marine gamers.

If it is thy pillow the sand
If it is thy bed the seaweed
If it is the fish thy candles bright
If it is the seals thy watchmen
I would drink,
though all would abhor it
Of thy heart's blood after thy drowning

[Eichhörnchen]

Yes indeed, my wife said earlier tonight that if we'd only send someone like Maire Brennan (forgive spelling) or Bellowhead, we might finally stand half a chance; that we spend too much time trying to imitate other people's music instead of drawing on our own culture the way the other entrants do.

And it is hard to explain, isn't it, why such crappy songs and often ludicrous acts get so far in front of the genuinely good stuff, but that's Eurovision!

[ExFishermanBob]

Exactly. I was thinking of, I think it was the Danish entry, which was very different from the other pap. There is so much good British music (quirky stuff, like The Divine Comedy) that could be shown. I suppose it's the Eurovision cringe that prevents people entering.

[Buddahaid]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzYzVMcgWhg

This the extent of my Eurovision knowledge......

[Aktungbby]

Hey! were not out of it totally here! My my daughter completed her BA in anthropology studying Irish folk music at Galway, but I've beaten her to the punch... I can listen to this siren sweetly singing all day-lashed to the mast of my longship (or a Catalina 25) with no wax in my ears! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZ91KDaW7kc (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZ91KDaW7kc)

[Eichhörnchen]

I'm no expert or anything, but I seem to recall that the Irish entries (notwithstanding the brilliant "Father Ted" p...take above) are usually among the "proper" music entries. Why do they even bother?

[Jimbuna]

Eurovision....more political than the vast majority of political programmes.

[Eichhörnchen]

Very true. I think we should send all trainee Foreign Ministers there to learn something useful, and then maybe sing us a song...