Embarrassing/awkward Moments

[Armistead]

Wanna share?

I've had too many, but I'll share one of my worse. I worked for a company for about 19 years when I finally got promoted to the Sr. Project Manager. I had a nice size room outside of my office that I made sort of a man cave out of.

Anyway, I had been dating my wife for some time and one late night I took her there. We decided to get it on on the sofa in my man cave. Now, the boss often came by and worked late, but he wasn't there. Just so happen he drove by late and saw my truck there and wondered why I was there near midnight. We had the light off and we were shocked when it flicked on, both naked getting it on, my boss standing there. We all looked at each other for a few seconds in shock. He turned the light off, didn't say anything and left...

I walked in the next morning, he acted fine, so we never discussed it for months. My wife was always embarrassed when she came by for years after that...

[GoldenRivet]

That... is awesome :yeah:

[GoldenRivet]

My best friend and I are at a party, everyone is drinking. we brought our wives along. (years ago when i was married)

His wife and my wife are the same height and weight with almost the same hair color. keep that in mind.

So i am perched on the edge of the kitchen table, and a friend of mine is standing on the other end of the room and we are talking and cutting up. My wife is standing in front of me a few paces listening to the conversation with her back turned to me facing the story teller across the way.

Part way through the story as he is finishing up his tale i get up while paying close attention to the ending of his story and walk up behind her, and take a sniff of her hair, i run my hands up her back and start rubbing on her shoulders and she is backing up to me and getting a little into it and i run my hands down her arms and onto her hips.

well about this time my wife walks into the room next to the guy telling the story and grabs a couple of drinks out of the refrigerator behind him.

my brain immediately goes "wait a minute... if you are over there, how am i..."

:88) i announced with a shy laugh "oooops! wrong woman."

it was embarrassing as hell but when i pointed out my error everyone was dying of laughter, including my buddy and both of our spouses thankfully.

[magic452]

You got very very lucky on that one GR. :o:D:D

Magic

[GoldenRivet]

well....... almost :haha:

[magic452]

If only the wife hadn't walked in. :haha:

Magic

[KrazyDimondRX]

first kiss was with a super cute blonde girl at an ice rink, i was 14 or 15. mid kiss i slipped on the ice and she had to catch me in a "dipping" fashion:oops:

18 or so at work, fooling around with a long drain pipe and attempting to play it as a didgereedoo as i walked. The bottom edge of pipe caught a lip in the floor and cut my upper lip enough to scar a crescent shape permanently. Lamest/dumbest scar story ever

[BossMark]

When I was in church at my mates wedding and just couldn't help it, I farted I thought it would silent but how wrong how I was not just loud but also very smelly :haha:
There is more awkward moments but some are unrepeatable on these forums :D

[Jimbuna]

Too numerous to mention but one of the lighter moments.....sitting in a patrol car on an icy winters day and observed another vehicle failing to adhere to a no entry sign about 50 yards where I was situated and approaching me.

I immediately exited my vehicle, walked to the centre of the road and gestured with a hand signal my requirement for him to pull over and stop.

Next thing I slipped and was sitting on my posterior, I'm sure I heard a few laughs coming from those pedestrians walking by...the vehicle stopped and the driver helped me back to my feet using much restraint to curb his natural desire to laugh.

That driver never got a ticket that day and for many a day after I was known in the station as PC Wetty Pants.

[TarJak]

PC Wetty Pants.
Noted.:03:

[BossMark]

Noted.:03:
Indeed :D

[Herr-Berbunch]

Noted.:03:

Indeed :D

Me three. :haha:

[Jimbuna]

Noted.:03:

Indeed :D

Me three. :haha:

Ha! looks like an interesting period of moderation could be coming along shortly :)

[Betonov]

wetty pants here reminded me when I sliped on ice in Ljubljana and fell flat on my back. When I got up I saw a shocked senior citizen, looked him right in the eyes and said: it happens to the best of us
And limped on

And that one time I fell asleep on the train to Ljubljana and was awoken by a customs officer on the Croatian border. Luckily, that train was headed to Belgrade :oops:

[Jimbuna]

^ :stare:

I was also known as the milky bar kid because I would always ask for pop when visiting a 'tea spot' (a garage, shop or other business premises) :oops:

[Betonov]

I've been called the brick due to my shape and name.
And a lot of things by my mother that are not suitable for the forum.

And there was that one company picnic where I said I'll jump in the river if I hear Alejandro again and as fate would have it, someone had a Lady Gaga Cd with him. And so I swam, underwear only infront of the entire company.
Took me 4 years to loose the name Alejandro.

And when I was in Rovinj, the designated driver trying to herd 3 drunk friends to the car. From all the catching and picking up people from the wet grass I looked like I thrown up all over me, did a #1 and #2 in my pants and went half a mile on my knees. And I was the only one sober :nope:

[Wolferz]

I'm fueling my vehicle at a convenience store pump when a lady pulls up to the other side and proceeds to fumble around with the fueling equipment clearly at a loss in it's workings. So, like a good samaritan, I offer to assist. Unbeknownst to me the previous patron was lazy and had shoved their gas cap into the trigger. I pulled the nozzle from the pump and flipped the switch only to have gasoline come spewing forth in the direction of the lady, soaking her in gas from the neck down.:huh:

[Tango589]

When i was seeing my girlfriend (now wife) for the second time I had a bad chesty cough. We were sat at her place drinking red wine and I had just taken a mouthful when, without warning, I coughed a spray of red wine all over her face, neck, coffee table and carpet. Fortunately she was ok about it and to my surprise even wanted to see me again! She still reminds me of it today.:oops:

[Wolferz]

Tango has the right idea. Spit in her face right off the bat.:up:

[Tango589]

:har:

[Jimbuna]

Better sooner than later I suppose :)

[AVGWarhawk]

There are better ways to lay down how it's gonna be.....:haha:

[Aktungbby]

Now, the boss often came by and worked late, but he wasn't there. Just so happen he drove by late and saw my truck there and wondered why I was there near midnight. We had the light off and we were shocked when it flicked on, both naked getting it on, my boss standing there. We all looked at each other for a few seconds in shock.
In flagrante Dilicto..:o:D.http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs40/i/2009/006/4/f/In_Flagrante_Delicto_by_Thats_Your_Funeral.jpg

red wine all over her face, neck, coffee table and carpet. Fortunately she was ok about it and to my surprise even wanted to see me again! She still reminds me of it today.:oops:

"In vino veritas!":Das said by Val Kilmer (Doc Holliday in Tombstone):woot:http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/90/2f/24/902f241f8a648514dccd03b37eae4c06.jpg Whatever it takes for a happy ending: Boy gets girl!:yeah:

[Armistead]

I had a worker call in from a jobsite once stating he had to go home because he crapped in his pants. I told him he should've just said he was sick and went home...Everyone on the jobsite knew and his new nickname from then on was Pooter...

[TarJak]

Ha! looks like an interesting period of moderation could be coming along shortly :)
You'll find it tough to moderate in a pub in July. ;)

[TarJak]

Went to a movie with the wife and kids a few years ago. It was a 3D movie :down: and after the obligatory advertising had finished I put my "3D" glasses on and was puzzled by the fact that the screen was fuzzy and out of focus.

Whispered to the wife that my glasses didn't seem to be working.

We swapped and she happily informed me that I was using my sunglasses instead of the 3D glasses in my shirt pocket. Got ridden on that one for a day or so and every time we go to a movie get reminded was
check which glasses I've got on.

[Platapus]

Back in the mid 80's I was stationed in Omaha Nebraska. A great place to live and a good place to meet nice people. Including one special lady.

I was intimate with this lady when I was living in Omaha. One evening we decided to spend some time together.

She happened to be a little kinky and I was a lot kinky. I had my "toys" with me and we decided to go back to her house to desport ourselves in our particular manner.

When we got to her house, I made sure the front door was locked (scene security; rule 1)

We were then desporting ourselves in her bedroom and everything was going swimmingly. Then I heard the front door open and after what appeared to be about 0.5 seconds later, her bedroom door opened.

Enter the mother :o:o:o:o:o

(now if this were a Penthouse letter, it would have ended much differently with a hot kinky threesome. However this was reality. :nope:)

Judging from the mother's body language and dialogue, it became quickly apparent to me that the mother

1. Did not know that her daughter was kinky
2. Did not know that her daughter was intimate with me
3. Did not understand the concept of Safe, Sane, and Consensual play
4. Did not understand what was going on
5. Was not pleased at all.

Hurried explanations, more hurried untying, and an even more hurried departure quickly followed. It was .... awkward to say the least :yep:

It was lucky the mother did not have a gun. :o:o:o

I learned a very important lesson: Find out if your play partner's mother has a key to the house and has a habit of just walking in, before starting to play. Door chains are your friend. :yep:

Surprisingly, I did not get a Christmas card from her mother that year. Go figure.

Sadly, this play date also adversely affected my relationship with the lady. I truly regret the embarrassment she suffered in front of her mother. That was not the intent. That was about 30 years ago and I still feel bad for her. She was a special lady.

[Betonov]

It was a 3D movie

Went to see Avatar 3D. During the scene where they blew up the giant tree I mistook a 3D amber for a fly and slapped my own face

[Red October1984]

There's a couple I could mention...but none of them can top anything posted here. :rotfl2:

[Wolferz]

There's a couple I could mention...but none of them can top anything posted here. :rotfl2:

You're young yet and you'll have ample opportunities in the future.:03:

Flipping your car was a good one though, Chitwood.:rock:

[Red October1984]

You're young yet and you'll have ample opportunities in the future.:03:

Flipping your car was a good one though, Chitwood.:rock:

Not really an embarrassing one...just a bad one. :)

[Armistead]

hehe Platapus, you got to watch those toys... When my son was about 5 he found the toy drawer, walked into the living room with one. Lucky my wife and I were the only ones there and we told him it was a flashlight.

[Wolferz]

hehe Platapus, you got to watch those toys... When my son was about 5 he found the toy drawer, walked into the living room with one. Lucky my wife and I were the only ones there and we told him it was a flashlight.

Armistead jr; " Looks more like a dong to me daddy.":haha:

[Jimbuna]

Or a bunny rabbit :)

[Armistead]

Armistead jr; " Looks more like a dong to me daddy.":haha:


The size probably confused him..

[Wolferz]

The size probably confused him..

It's not a problem until the tyke tells the pastor about it.:doh:

[Friscobay]

[QUOTE=Armistead;2190431]Wanna share?

I've had too many, but I'll share one of my worse. I worked for a company for about 19 years when I finally got promoted to the Sr. Project Manager. I had a nice size room outside of my office that I made sort of a man cave out of...



For me, summer of the year. Pearl Harbor Naval Base. on the museum grounds, which was then undergoing renovation, sat a perhaps 1/2 to 3/4 scale iron model of a Japanese midget sub. Maybe the Ko-yoteki No.19, which I visit from time to time in Fredericksburg, Texas, I never knew. Anyway, lurching back with a few mates from a night on the Honolulu town in the dives of Hotel St, we came upon the sub in the darkness of an early Saturday morning and climbed onto its tower, which was topped by a simple round hatch and climbed inside.
It was in this pitch darkness, lit only by a ZIPPO, that I went under from too much drink served with too many paper umbrellas. Time passed. Upon awakening, startled in the dark, I clanged my head on a pipe and then realized with a shock the ''where''. But what was ''now''? And where was everybody else?
Fumble for the hatch, throw the lid back, and stand up..

..before what was around Noon the same day in front of dozens of shrieking and startled Japanese tourists and elder veterans wearing Hawaiian shirts and blue ballcaps snapping pics as fast as they could while I slunk down from the conning tower and beat a hasty retreat towards the Loch and my own ship , where I was fortunately, not ''UA'', this being another weekend day.


Weeks later, after avoiding the area and the sub around the museum like the plague, I noticed that a hasp had been welded onto the conning hatch with a sturdy padlock included...

Days later I left Pearl, not to see her again...:hmmm:

[Armistead]

It's not a problem until the tyke tells the pastor about it.:doh:


The tyke is 17 now and thankfully has never mentioned it..

The drawer beside the bed now holds other needed items, vapor rub, Ben Gay, earplugs, etc....

[TarJak]

The drawer beside the bed now holds other needed items, vapor rub, Ben Gay, earplugs, etc....Kinky.

[Wolferz]

The tyke is 17 now and thankfully has never mentioned it..

The drawer beside the bed now holds other needed items, vapor rub, Ben Gay, earplugs, etc....

He's probably been trying to light his torch ever since.:rock:

I guess you keep the Metamucil in the kitchen?

Have you ever used Vaseline for sex? Cover outer door knob of bedroom with generous amount. Keeps the kids in the hall where they belong.:03::O:
Works just as well on future mother in laws if used on front door knob.:timeout:

[Armistead]

He's probably been trying to light his torch ever since.:rock:

I guess you keep the Metamucil in the kitchen?

Have you ever used Vaseline for sex? Cover outer door knob of bedroom with generous amount. Keeps the kids in the hall where they belong.:03::O:
Works just as well on future mother in laws if used on front door knob.:timeout:

we use those things called door locks! you should google it........

[Wolferz]

we use those things called door locks! you should google it........

Those don't always work. Ask Platapus.:smug:

[Armistead]

Those don't always work. Ask Platapus.:smug:

Hehe.....We also put a sign on the door "Don't come a knocking if your hear Armistead a rocking - Be done in 2 minutes, you can wait"

[swamprat69er]

I was at the hardware/feed store a couple of years ago with the daughter in law. I eased out a fart that was absolutely silent......Wow! Did it ever stink!

[Wolferz]

I was at the hardware/feed store a couple of years ago with the daughter in law. I eased out a fart that was absolutely silent......Wow! Did it ever stink!
I hope you were in the fertilizer aisle.:huh:

[swamprat69er]

I hope you were in the fertilizer aisle.:huh:
I was right at the counter talking to the owner.:o

[em2nought]

Both of mine involve not learning the principles of liquid transfer. after a night of drinking if about to throw up in the presence of a couple cute girls do not cover your mouth so tight with your hand that the liquid jets out the small openings between your fingers. ...and in the cafeteria in high school if someone tells a joke while you are drinking milk sometimes you can laugh so hard that milk shoots out your nose.

[Red October1984]

I was at the hardware/feed store a couple of years ago with the daughter in law. I eased out a fart that was absolutely silent......Wow! Did it ever stink!

Me and a really good friend of mine were stocking the same aisle in the store last week....

He THOUGHT it was me that walked behind him....so he decided to go cropdusting. And it was a completely silent one....like yours

It smelled BAD....and so did the lady who walked behind him. She had the most disgusted look on her face....leaves the aisle, turns the corner and lets out a coughing fit.

I gave him a pat on the back and a "great job, buddy" when I walked by after that.

[Armistead]

I let a silent deadly during church one time, funny watching people try to deal with it respectfully while trying not to puke..

[swamprat69er]

SBD's are hilarious! :har:Try sneaking one out while sitting on a wooden pew. Almost impossible.

[Wolferz]

Ripped one on an elevator while it headed for the main floor. Doors opened, got out, four people got on and headed upwards with the stench. I could hear their exclamations of dismay through the doors. "OMG! Anybody have a match!?":haha:

[Red October1984]

Ripped one on an elevator while it headed for the main floor. Doors opened, got out, four people got on and headed upwards with the stench. I could hear their exclamations of dismay through the doors. "OMG! Anybody have a match!?":haha:

At the State BETA Club convention earlier this month, somebody did that on an elevator with about 20 people on it. We were all squished in there together and suddenly everybody just, all at once, needs out. Some guy in the back cleared an elevator of 20 people. It was bad.

[Wolferz]

A fart smells for the benefit of those who didn't hear it.

[vanjast]

Let me have a go...

Next to my kids school there are 3 fast food joints, Nando's, MacDonalds and KFC. Every day when I pick him up he always bugs me to get a take away.
I always say no.

So one day, feeling daring, I say let's get a Big Mac - there are cheers from the crowd (1), and we 'whip' into the first drive through.

Teller: "What would you like, sir"
Me: "2 big Mac's, and two small fries, please"
Teller: "Sorry sir, we don't do big macs"
Me:"Come on, is it the wrong time of day or what - you do big Macs don't you ?"
Teller: "No sir we don't do big mac's"
Me: "Really! , may I ask why not ?"
Teller:" This is KFC, MacDonalds is next door over there"
Me: "£%^$%^$£^&$££"

My kid never stopped laughing, within hours the whole family was having a go at me.
:har: :har: :har:

[Wolferz]

This is KFC, MacDonalds is next door over there"


Who am I?
What am I
Where am I!?

:rotfl2:

[Armistead]

I watched a cop show where the cop pulled a married couple for rolling through a stop sign. The male driver was a lil peod and the cop asked him had he been drinking, he said no. The cop got peod over the mans attitude, asked could he search the car, man gave permission. The cop found a old empty prescription bottle and they searched more, into the luggage. The cop found the couples sex toys....

I always love on cops where dumb people give permission to have their cars searched and cops pull out all sorts of drugs, guns, illegal stuff...

[Red October1984]

I always love on cops where dumb people give permission to have their cars searched and cops pull out all sorts of drugs, guns, illegal stuff...

Heh. 4th Amendment buddy....learn it, live it, love it.

[Tango589]

A fart smells for the benefit of those who didn't hear it.
I was out with wife, and after a day on the beer and a curry dinner, we stopped at the convenience store by the station. My wife was queueing up to pay for our purchases whilst I was nosing round the shop. Suddenly I let the most almighty SBD go. The stench disgusted me! I took a walk outside the shop and watched the 7 or 8 people in there walk out without buying anything, commenting about 'who crapped themselves?' My wife came out, burst out laughing and said that's the first time a fart has cleared a shop!

[Armistead]

Heh. 4th Amendment buddy....learn it, live it, love it.


I left NC to work in New Orleans, coming home we had a flat on the trailer. My dumb brother had took his jack out and forget to put it in. I called 911 as we were barely off the road on the highway. Cop came and called a tow guy to come change tire. It was about midnight so it took awhile. Cop started asking who were were, what we were doing, etc. Guess being from out of state. He asked could he search our truck and trailer. I reminded I called him and had nothing, but my brother let him search truck. I forgot I had my prescribed pain meds in a blank bottle cause I only carried what I needed out of town. Cop found them and got on me. His friends came and based on that they searched the trailer. They even had a drug dog come out. They went through luggage, got stuff muddy and threw a lot of equipment out, even broke one piece. I was mad as hell. I gave them my Dr.s. name, ect, but obviously still got a ticket and they took my meds.
Had to pay a lawyer $400 to deal with it.

[swamprat69er]

I left NC to work in New Orleans, coming home we had a flat on the trailer. My dumb brother had took his jack out and forget to put it in. I called 911 as we were barely off the road on the highway. Cop came and called a tow guy to come change tire. It was about midnight so it took awhile. Cop started asking who were were, what we were doing, etc. Guess being from out of state. He asked could he search our truck and trailer. I reminded I called him and had nothing, but my brother let him search truck. I forgot I had my prescribed pain meds in a blank bottle cause I only carried what I needed out of town. Cop found them and got on me. His friends came and based on that they searched the trailer. They even had a drug dog come out. They went through luggage, got stuff muddy and threw a lot of equipment out, even broke one piece. I was mad as hell. I gave them my Dr.s. name, ect, but obviously still got a ticket and they took my meds.
Had to pay a lawyer $400 to deal with it.
I surely hope your brother covered your lawyer costs, and he learned a lesson about cops and the 4th amendment.

[Wolferz]

But I witnessed the event.
I'm at work, on my way out of town and stopped at a gas station to fill up.
While the attendant was pumping the gas, we both watched as a woman parked her car on the street in front of the station. She came around to the passenger side to retrieve her toddler from the car seat. She was a fine looking lady with legs right up to her neck. When she hiked the little fellow up onto her hip his little tennis shoe caught the hem of her already too short skirt, pulling it up past her gorgeous bottom covered in panty hose only and she proceeded up the street while the attendant and I just stared in appreciative disbelief. We weren't the only ones staring as a motorist drove past and caught a look too. He failed to notice the police car stopped at the light on the corner and slammed it without ever touching the brakes.
I would have stayed to listen to his attempt to explain himself to the good officer but, I had work to do. As soon as I stopped ROTGLMAO.
:har: