Bully at work? [Archive] - SUBSIM Radio Room Forums

areo16

03-24-14, 03:46 AM

I have an ******* at work that I'd label someone who deserves a punch in the snot box "bully". I've tried to avoid the situation, ignored him, confronted him and fought fire with fire (all verbal). But it doesn't seem to help the situation.

I work in the food service industry and I live in the US. It is a family business restaurant I work for, so I don't think management would be of any help. The person who is bullying is a co-worker.
My concerns are of course losing my job or criminal charges if I start a physical confrontation. It is in downtown of a city so the cops are everywhere. I like the job. Its great money.

I'm new to the job and I think the guy is just jealous or whatever that I've started working there. He's been there longer than I, about a year. I think it's an alpha male thing. I'm a nice guy in person, so he really has not excuse for what he is doing.

Any ideas? A shot to the snot box?

TarJak

03-24-14, 04:01 AM

If all that he's done is give you verbal a whack in the nose is a bad idea. What exactly has he done to you?

areo16

03-24-14, 04:18 AM

He comments about everything he can think of. Makes fun of it out-loud to everyone. Most of it is based on jealously. But he will also talk out-loud about even the little mistakes that I might make at work on occasion, just like the mistakes everyone else makes. Like mistakes on tickets. He also has a tremendous urge to tell me what I might be doing wrong. Like a "know it all". There has been some suttle shoving going on while working. Running in to each other, I shove back.

BTW, there was a girl co-worker that he was trying to get with. Anyhow, she and I hit it off because she knew my younger brother from school. Just friends we became. I think she grew a liking for me. I have a wonderful woman at home so I am off the market. Anyhow, I think that sparked everything.

He shoots spit balls at the high school kids who do the dish washing. Young kids who get paid crap for doing crappy job. S*** like this. Just a dick.

fireftr18

03-24-14, 06:37 AM

Document, document, document, then document some more. Then if you think you've documented enough, document even more. Write down every little incident, what he did, date, time, and who it was directed to. REPORT IT TO MANAGEMENT. He is creating a hostile work environment for you. You document the incidents, report them, and nothing is done, you have a lawsuit. Whatever you do, DON'T RETALIATE IN ANY FORM.

Geno_Mariner

03-24-14, 06:39 AM

Workplace harassment shouldn't be ignored, even if you do not think management will help, you should report it to them. Things like that shouldn't be tolerated. I wouldn't try fighting back to the point of potentially causing physical harm, nor return the shoving he's been giving you. The more you fight with him, the more he will do it.

It should be a great help if other people are getting harassed by him as well, more people to prove the case. Besides, him spit balling workers in the kitchen regardless of where they are is unsanitary, it's a violation of health and safety I believe...

Armistead

03-24-14, 08:43 AM

Sounds more like a prick than a bully. Don't let people like this get under your skin, try to ignore the small crap like him pointing out mistakes, just act like you don't care. If he points out a mistakes, just say "Thank you". Don't let people like this know that they're getting under your skin

If it's bad enough and effecting several of you, best you all get together and talk to the owner, so it doesn't appear to be just you.

AVGWarhawk

03-24-14, 09:20 AM

Pride goeth before the fall. Physical confrontation is never good. As suggested, ignore him and do your best.

Jimbuna

03-24-14, 09:50 AM

Record everything in writing, time, place, witnesses etc.

In the meantime don't retaliate but be polite with a "Thank You" as already suggested...nothing annoys a protaganist more than forgiveness.

When you feel you have sufficient evidence, witnesses etc. approach the manager/owner and present your case.

Should all that fail, sort it out man o man outside of work.

Onkel Neal

03-24-14, 12:07 PM

http://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/harassment.cfm

Let management know this harassment is illegal and you want then to address it before you take it up with the EEOC.

desertstriker

03-24-14, 12:16 PM

http://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/harassment.cfm

Let management know this harassment is illegal and you want then to address it before you take it up with the EEOC.
This but be tactful about it. Have evidence to back up your complaint as well. The key thing to remember is to CYA.

Also check with the other workers he is being a prick to and see if you can get them to document their instances too. Never underestimate the power of a group having a complaint.

areo16

03-24-14, 03:06 PM

Thanks guys. I didn't realize the response would be similar and everyone is on the same page. Thanks. I will take everyones advice.

Jimbuna

03-24-14, 03:12 PM

If at all possible....keep a cool head.

TarJak

03-24-14, 03:14 PM

Stop making mistakes as well. :D

Jimbuna

03-24-14, 03:23 PM

This from the Guy that said, and I quote!
"Should all that fail, sort it out man o man outside of work."
:haha:
:03:

My meaning was whilst inside work...outside of work, all bets are off :03:

Armistead

03-24-14, 05:35 PM

Stop making mistakes as well. :D

:har:

Herr-Berbunch

03-24-14, 05:36 PM

Don't retaliate is a good way of thinking, however, if you've some 'friends of friends' who should just be passing his way one day . . .

As long as your hands are clean, and as Jim said - it's away from work. :03:

You could also get this friendly girl to have a word with him, how uncool it is and how unimpressed she is by his machismo.

Or, and this should surely be up there, find out when his birthday is and organise a gay stripogram for closing time. :haha:

d@rk51d3

03-24-14, 05:57 PM

Why wait for closing time?

Armistead

03-24-14, 05:57 PM

When I was in my teens I worked at a fish house. We had a standing rule for *******s and tip thieves...they got a large bucket of hushpuppy mix dumped on them, followed by flour, hauled down to the pier and thrown in the lake. The owner had no problem with this.

Course it was in the late 70's and the owner only hired guys as the work was hard and messy. In fact, the owner was a former neighbor, Robert Shaw, our State Senator for years. I went to work there at 15 years of age.

areo16

03-24-14, 10:41 PM

Ok, so I called the HR lady. She then called a manager. And they want me to type everything up and hand it to them the next day of work.

raymond6751

03-25-14, 06:28 AM

You may get the chance "out of work" to deal with him anyway. If the planned documentation works, he might get fired. He will likely blame you.

Be prepared and watch your back. Guys like him are not likely to 'confront' you fairly -- or he would have done so already.

If it comes to it, take out his knees and walk away. He can't chase you with busted knee(s). Try to be in a public place when it happens, so you have witnesses who can say you were defending.

A side kick inside of the knee, heel to the outside of knee. He's down.
:/\\!!

Wolferz

03-25-14, 08:06 AM

Course it was in the late 70's and the owner only hired guys as the work was hard and messy. In fact, the owner was a former neighbor, Robert Shaw, our State Senator for years. I went to work there at 15 years of age.

Tell us about the two times you were battered and tossed in the lake.:haha:

swamprat69er

03-25-14, 10:53 AM

Tell us about the two times you were battered and tossed in the lake.:haha:
How was the water? :haha: Wet, I'll bet.:haha::har:

BrucePartington

03-25-14, 11:10 AM

Armistead

03-25-14, 08:36 PM

Tell us about the two times you were battered and tossed in the lake.:haha:

Not me....We got robbed once at gun point. The funny thing was they locked the old lady that did the register and the lead cook in a trunk together. They hated each other and happened to be arguing at the back when they came in...

Wolferz

03-26-14, 01:37 PM

Not me....We got robbed once at gun point. The funny thing was they locked the old lady that did the register and the lead cook in a trunk together. They hated each other and happened to be arguing at the back when they came in...

What does that have to do with you being battered and dunked?:-?:O:

swamprat69er

03-26-14, 01:53 PM

What does that have to do with you being battered and dunked?:-?:O:
He is evading the question.:D

Wolferz

03-27-14, 02:06 PM

What's the word, Areo? :)

Jimbuna

03-27-14, 02:53 PM

DEFCON 2 :hmmm:

vanjast

03-27-14, 05:06 PM

I recently had a similar situation...

Had a big office renovation, and everything was hunky-dory until some dweeb complained. A certain executive who always uses a 'bullying nature' via 'name-dropping' and cc'ing higher authorities in their emails, sent 'accusational' emails my way when I stood my ground.

I then replied cc'ing the same people, with a neutral and logical reasoning email that effectively neutralised every point this person brought up, but it also implied indirectly this persons shortcomings.

The silence was deafening... and I was in hysterics..
I just sat there smiling with my feet up on my desk while I sharpened my blade.
:03:

desertstriker

03-27-14, 06:52 PM

The silence was deafening... and I was in hysterics..
I just sat there smiling with my feet up on my desk while I sharpened my blade.
:03:
Best feeling in the world ain't it.

areo16

03-28-14, 12:32 AM

Thanks guys for being concerned.

So, I typed up my recollections of events and the things I saw him do to others, and things others said about him. I typed it up and made it into a sworn statement with notary stamp. I then gave it to one of the supervisors. I made it a sworn statement so they knew I wasn't just ****ing around. I was telling the truth and I'd take my word to court.

The manager had a chat with the owner, who is on vacation. Anyway, I went into work today, and the managers called in various employees to ask them their opinions (the other staff I mentioned in the sworn statement) and they confirmed everything.

The managers then told me he was going to get "written up" at the end of the shift. Which just ended an hour ago. So, that is the latest....

I hope things turn around, and he either changes the way he acts, or they get rid of him. Because the guy has a temper and I'd consider him a loose cannon.

I also took Neal's advice and put that I would contact the EEOC in my sworn statement if they didn't try to solve the situation.

Thanks all! I'll tell you more when I get more news.:Kaleun_Salute:

TarJak

03-28-14, 01:24 AM

Best of luck and watch your back at the end of your shift.

Wolferz

03-28-14, 05:47 AM

One could resort to the old banana in the tailpipe defense.:D
A potato in the tailpipe is also good for a laugh.:haha:

areo16

03-29-14, 03:27 AM

Wolferz

03-29-14, 08:32 AM

The guy was written up three times last night for all this. The manager also told me that when the owner gets back from vacation, he is likely to be fired.

So.... great news. Hate to see someone lose their job. But, he is a prick. He needs to grow up too.

I'll see what unfolds...

Some people must, unfortunately, learn their lessons the hard way.:shifty:

I've seen more than my fair share of this kind of co-worker.
Normally I would patiently wait for Karma to come back around and bite them in the back side. But, sometimes you have no choice but to unsheathe your blade, spit on your hands and start cutting throats.:arrgh!:

swamprat69er

03-29-14, 08:49 AM

IF he confronts you after he gets fired and off the property, ie. in the bar, provided he takes the first swing and you actually let him hit you, then pound the piss out of him. Usually with a bully, you only need to kick the supreme snot out of them once and then they leave you alone.
I don't advocate fighting, but sometimes that is the only way to get the point across.

CaptainHaplo

03-29-14, 04:51 PM

The guy was written up three times last night for all this. The manager also told me that when the owner gets back from vacation, he is likely to be fired.

So.... great news. Hate to see someone lose their job. But, he is a prick. He needs to grow up too.

I'll see what unfolds...

The employer needs to be careful. Writing him up for 3 different times (assuming at least 3 different situations) in one night and then firing him as soon as the owner returns - is going to open them up to some problems. In essence, they are not willing to let him correct the problem. Had they fired him outright it would have been ok - but letting him stay and then firing without something else happening - isn't going to sit well with the ESC.

Of course - if they "find" something else he does wrong - they are in the clear.

Wolferz

03-30-14, 06:24 AM

Now would be a good time for video surveillance.:yep:

Catfish

03-30-14, 06:32 AM

ALl the best, i hope theer will be no more fuss, and it ends well. And if it does, your co workers can be proud of you, as a side effect.

One could resort to the old banana in the tailpipe defense. A potato in the tailpipe is also good for a laugh.:haha:

This is old school. The higher tech version is either using polyurethane foam for the exhaust, or use the thumbmobile zapper (tm) and get rid of the car once and for all, electronically. :03:

Wolferz

03-30-14, 10:15 AM

ALl the best, i hope theer will be no more fuss, and it ends well. And if it does, your co workers can be proud of you, as a side effect.

This is old school. The higher tech version is either using polyurethane foam for the exhaust, or use the thumbmobile zapper (tm) and get rid of the car once and for all, electronically. :03:

Permanently vandalizing the guy's ride isn't the effect I was alluding to.:hmmm: We don't want to see Areo get arrested do we?

A potato wedged firmly in the tailpipe will prevent the vehicle from starting or running very long, but not cause permanent damage. There will be a loud BANG if the potato becomes dislodged.
The banana will only stink as it gets cooked by hot exhaust.:O::up:
Well, at sixty years of age, yes I'm old school.:D
Is this "thumbmobile zapper" a real piece of technology, or should I modify a bug zapper?:haha:

One could still resort to numerous old school pranks like...
Draining atmo from the tires.(many ways to do this one) Though I recommend the non-damaging varieties.
Pouring brake fluid on painted surfaces in the shape of a pud. Scratch that one.
Filling the air cleaner with a foreign substance. Dog food is a good one and it's cheap.
Apply a generous amount of axle grease to the door handles.

swamprat69er

03-30-14, 10:47 AM

Go fishing and leave one laying on his exhaust manifold. :D
I'm 'old school', too.
For snap crackle and pop. Reverse number 8&1 wires on a V-8 distributor, #2&3 on a 4 banger or 3&4 on a 6 cylinder. It will backfire and not accelerate too good.