Duffleblog: 72 Black-Eyed Virgins Still Waiting To Give It Up

[Ducimus]

http://www.duffelblog.com/2014/01/72-virgins/

Too funny. :haha::har:

[nikimcbee]

I defer to family guy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dxpMTFBg48

[GT182]

But little do these hori know that the 72 virgins promised these lads of premature detonation are all male. They're waiting for some moron that will never show up because he's now gay. :haha:

[Wolferz]

Achmed was so surprised when he reached paradise and saw his virgins that he just went to pieces....again.

http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/goat9.jpg

Ahh. Nubian. We got lots of that.

[Sailor Steve]

As someone else pointed out long ago, they have it completely wrong. It's not 72 virgins, it's one 72-year-old virgin.

[fireftr18]

I saw a political cartoon once. The 72 virgins were all grumpy old nuns. :haha:

[Sailor Steve]

And then there's the joke: Osama Bin Laden gets to paradise and is greeted by George Washington, who punches him in the face. Next is Thomas Jefferson, who does the same. The comes James Madison, Patrick Henry, James Monroe...

Osama finally gets to see Allah and demands an explanation. Allah says "Didn't you read the text? I said you'd be greeted by seventy-two Virginians..."

[Aktungbby]

Achmed was so surprised when he reached paradise and saw his virgins that he just went to pieces....again.

http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/goat9.jpg

Ahh. Nubian. We got lots of that.

http://comps.canstockphoto.com/can-stock-photo_csp4299445.jpg Wrong thread old pard'; should be "Goats you think are beautiful"!

[Jimbuna]

And then there's the joke: Osama Bin Laden gets to paradise and is greeted by George Washington, who punches him in the face. Next is Thomas Jefferson, who does the same. The comes James Madison, Patrick Henry, James Monroe...

Osama finally gets to see Allah and demands an explanation. Allah says "Didn't you read the text? I said you'd be greeted by seventy-two Virginians..."

After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington. "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yells Mr. Washington, slapping Osama in the face.

Patrick Henry comes up from behind. "You wanted to end the Americans' liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose.

James Madison comes up next, and says "This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He drops a large weight on Osama's knee.

Osama is subject to similar beatings from John Randolph of Roanoke, James Monroe, and 65 other people who have the same love for liberty and America.

As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is to be judged.

As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams "This is not what I was promised!"

An angel replies "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you, idiot. What did you think I said?"

[Cybermat47]

EDIT: Post edited due to heavily opiniated and potentially offensive statements. If you really want to see what I said, see the quote below.

[Red October1984]

Still, Islam heaven sounds better than Christian heaven, where all you do is worship the stuck-up egotistical God who's torturing all the holocaust victims, still-born infants, and anyone who didn't know about or believe in him :har:

But then again, that God will have wiped your memories, so it doesn't matter :har: :haha:

There's an opinionated statement....but okay. Believe what you want. :hmmm:


DuffelBlog is the best. They've got some good articles. Definitely a reliable source. :O:

[Cybermat47]

There's an opinionated statement....but okay. Believe what you want. :hmmm:


Sorry that it was opiniated and offensive. I get carried away sometimes :(

And you can believe whatever you want. I won't mind :salute:

And I'll try to stay more open-minded in the future.

Anyway, back on topic...

If you're a good Muslim, then you can get your 72 virgins. If you're a bad Muslim and you willingly suicide-bomb people, I hope you get herpes in heaven :har:

[Sailor Steve]

I hope you get herpes in heaven :har:
Gotta love a good alliteration. :rock:

I'm hoping they get a heaping helping of herpes in heaven too. :yep:

[Stealhead]

Well in one idea of heaven you want for nothing because you are next to God but you got there by follow his laws.In the Islamic idea you get rewarded by God(the same exact God interestingly) for following all of his laws.

I think the Islamic version makes perfect considering where it originated and the situation at hand.Mohammad wanted to take over a city that he had valuable trade Mecca out of and he was well out numbered so what to do? Convince your followers that you are prophet of God (the only one) and promise them a fairly nice reward in "paradise" should they die in battle.Obviously he was pretty convincing because Mohammad and his boys the whole city of Mecca was supposedly full of pagans interestingly enough.

This little war took a long time so you have to convince your follows to be war like which is why Islam is all about submission to Gods will(or what ever Mohammad said was God's will).

The whole thing is a lousy translation about the virgin women.

It is one woman full breasted maiden of equal age and a cup full to the brim.

I doubt for the ones actually doing the fighting any convincing is needed they either come from a madrass which has brain washed them (think Hitler Youth) or they come from utter squalor.The leadership are the ones that went to college and are educated.


It is kind of funny I suppose but not so much once you realize that they actually do not think they 'll get 72 virgins.

One thing I dislike about religion in general is that they can all be skewed to get people to do things.Hate,kill,fight wars.

[Red October1984]

Sorry that it was opiniated and offensive. I get carried away sometimes :(

And you can believe whatever you want. I won't mind :salute:

And I'll try to stay more open-minded in the future.

Wasn't trying to shoot you down...but just clearing things up. :up:

EDIT: While there are some sore subjects with me, it takes quite a lot to offend me otherwise. I was not offended by this. No worries. :)

Gotta love a good alliteration. :rock:

I'm hoping they get a heaping helping of herpes in heaven too. :yep:

AVOID ALLITERATION ALWAYS!

Every good grammar student knows that. :O:

[Sailor Steve]

AVOID ALLITERATION ALWAYS!

Every good grammar student knows that. :O:
One of my favorite songs of all time is based on alliteration. Your argument is invalid.

[Stealhead]

One of my favorite songs of all time is based on alliteration. Your argument is invalid.

Alliteration alleviates aggravation and arguments.

[Aktungbby]

Alliteration alleviates aggravation and arguments.

Consonance on the contrary, confuses, confounds and constipates contributors to this contentious, contumacious, conning tower'd band of Brigands; oft leading to contemptible confinement in the Brig by the modded moderating constabulary...where those cons, thus convicted hiss onomatopoetically! :D

[Sailor Steve]

Alliteration alleviates aggravation and arguments.
I read a copy of the 2001 Seamus Heaney translation of Beowulf, and he said the original was alliterative, and did the same himself, at least two words and sometimes more in each line starting with the same letter. It's by far my favorite translation.

[swamprat69er]

I hope they get a huge heaping helping of herpes in heaven.:)

My grammar is dead and so is my spell check.

[Jimbuna]

We should always use the spelchek.

[swamprat69er]

I aint got no grammar check.

[Jimbuna]

Then u is biyond ridemshun.

[swamprat69er]

Then u is biyond ridemshun.
Best you tell that to the preachers that come to my door around easter, trying to save my sorry a$$.

[Wolferz]

Best you tell that to the preachers that come to my door around easter, trying to save my sorry a$$.

I don't think they want your a$$. Just your $$:D

[swamprat69er]

I don't think they want your a$$. Just your $$:D
They are not getting either.

If I am at home when they come, they get the chance to get out of their car but that is as far as they get. I run them off.

My neighbour down the road asks them what their stand is on gay people. After they respond, usually negatively he tells them that his brother is gay. Off they go.:haha: