Being Romantic

[Armistead]

OK guys, more wife issues....My wife said I'm not romantic like I was when we first met. I'm not sure what to do, I''m just not romantic, makes me feel silly.
Geez, we've been married about 18 years, who needs romance at our age. I don't know, any ideas what I need to do?

[Herr-Berbunch]

Just a card thanking her for being great wife/mother/best friend/lover/etc.. Hand written where possible, and elaborately delivered.

Good luck.

[Armistead]

I took her out for bbq last night......

Anyway, I found a roll of film from 16 years ago, has a few great pics of us, thinking I will get one blown up, frame it and just hang it on the wall.

[Ducimus]

How I do hate it when they pull the Romance card.

Maybe if it's possible, try explaining to her that men do things (as opposed to just saying things) to express themselves. Ever make her lunch, or do her laundry or something along those lines? That's male speak for "I care about a lot about you, so I'm trying to help you", because if you didn't care, you wouldn't lift a finger would ya? I know I wouldn't.

I'm lucky though. My wife's father is the exact same way so she grew up realizing that her dads way of expressing himself was though deeds, not words. My dads the same way, and I get off the hook a little bit, but not entirely. My wife still expects me to be "Morantic" once in awhile, but probably to a degree less then other women.

[Jimbuna]

I took her out for bbq last night......

Anyway, I found a roll of film from 16 years ago, has a few great pics of us, thinking I will get one blown up, frame it and just hang it on the wall.

Only show her the ones where she is fully clothed.

[nikimcbee]

This isn't another Taquita thread is it?


I took her out for bbq last night......

I'd go out with you for BBQ.:D Is it Texas BBQ?

https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRBzY2hPyfIaAMEu2O7bSqGhPSDIGiv5 f3JK4cQR98uyZee3MGy

[Armistead]

How I do hate it when they pull the Romance card.

Maybe if it's possible, try explaining to her that men do things (as opposed to just saying things) to express themselves.

I tried that Duci...I clean and stuff...

She said that I never whisper "sweet nothings" in her ear when we make love. Last night, I kissed her and softly whispered in her ear "roll over" It didn't impress her....

My wife keeps me so confused...Other night we're laying in bed and she moans out "oh, I'm so hot" so I got naked and quickly jumped on, only to hear her say "get off idiot, I'm having a hot flash"

another wasted Viagra...

[Armistead]

This isn't another Taquita thread is it?




I'd go out with you for BBQ.:D Is it Texas BBQ?

https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRBzY2hPyfIaAMEu2O7bSqGhPSDIGiv5 f3JK4cQR98uyZee3MGy


WTH is a Taquita thread......

AVGWarhawk wouldn't like me taking you out.

[Armistead]

Only show her the ones where she is fully clothed.


Why....?

Oh, so she doesn't see how great she once looked naked...

got it..good idea:up:

[nikimcbee]

My wife keeps me so confused...Other night we're laying in bed and she moans out "oh, I'm so hot" so I got naked and quickly jumped one, only to hear her say "get off idiot, I'm having a hot flash"

Man, that's false advertising.:timeout: I'd call the Attorney General and file suit.

[HW3]

Sounds like she is starting through the "change", they tend to go "nuts" during that time. A weekly "date night" might be just the thing she would like.

[Wolferz]

This coming from the guy who posted the song link...
"It's hard to kiss the lips at night that chew your ass out all day long":haha:

I hate to break it to you but, you were in trouble long before this post.:hmmm:

You just need to get in touch with your inner snuggle bunny...

http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/31JNWy51taL__SY445_.jpg

Suit available for rental
With or without dweeb

[u crank]

Next time leave out the 'Beethoven' unless yer' tappen' yer baton on the head board to keep time...:rotfl2:

Long as she got a dime.....:D

[Armistead]

This coming from the guy who posted the song link...
"It's hard to kiss the lips at night that chew your ass out all day long":haha:

I hate to break it to you but, you were in trouble long before this post.:hmmm:

You just need to get in touch with your inner snuggle bunny...

http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb295/Wolferz_2007/31JNWy51taL__SY445_.jpg

Suit available for rental
With or without dweeb

I have done that and also have an online bromance with AVG that could grow into much more....I don't want to change, I was even planning on getting me my own bed... I am very happy with her as is, like I told her, she should romance me for once....

[Armistead]

Next time leave out the 'Beethoven' unless yer' tappen' yer baton on the head board to keep time...:rotfl2:

Yes, I do that....

[AVGWarhawk]

Around my neck of the woods a bouquet of flowers is $20. Give them to her "just because." Leave a note on her steering wheel or in the pocket of her favorite jeans. Try sexting. :03: I have noticed after 20 years of marriage my wife likes to see more affection from me because it makes her feel desirable. It would seem they think they are looking like a DeSoto and we will be more interested in the Corvette. I take her on date nights. I still hold her hand in the car or walking anywhere. I give her free time to play candy crush! :haha: Most of all and I have said it before, she will say she is a lady in the parlor and a whore in the bedroom. I honor her offer and offer my honor. Its offer and honor all night. :up: Rinse and repeat three times a week. Or more. :D But seriously, holding hands, opening the car door and being as accommodating as you can goes a long way. It does not have to be overly dramatic. The simple stuff that shows you care and love her carries a lot of clout.

[nikimcbee]

@Armistead

I found a little song to help you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrjxXQIi7Qo

You could try this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5FnGoheN94




The rock ballad about Armistead?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMFMf9cN64U

[nikimcbee]

...more love tips.

So you're trying to score with AVG:hmmm:
Try this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hg_Nw20GG0E


When all else fails, maybe these guys can help:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJP8wVoTufg

[Cybermat47]

At least you're in a romantic relationship!

[Jimbuna]

Around my neck of the woods a bouquet of flowers is $20. Give them to her "just because." Leave a note on her steering wheel or in the pocket of her favorite jeans. Try sexting. :03: I have noticed after 20 years of marriage my wife likes to see more affection from me because it makes her feel desirable. It would seem they think they are looking like a DeSoto and we will be more interested in the Corvette. I take her on date nights. I still hold her hand in the car or walking anywhere. I give her free time to play candy crush! :haha: Most of all and I have said it before, she will say she is a lady in the parlor and a whore in the bedroom. I honor her offer and offer my honor. Its offer and honor all night. :up: Rinse and repeat three times a week. Or more. :D But seriously, holding hands, opening the car door and being as accommodating as you can goes a long way. It does not have to be overly dramatic. The simple stuff that shows you care and love her carries a lot of clout.

The gaffa entered the man cave unnoticed and seeing this said "Why can't you be like him?" :oops:

If I do my back in tonight you'll be feeling the weight of my crutches (without the rubber tip to soften the blows) :stare:

[Armistead]

Around my neck of the woods a bouquet of flowers is $20. Give them to her "just because." Leave a note on her steering wheel or in the pocket of her favorite jeans. Try sexting. :03: I have noticed after 20 years of marriage my wife likes to see more affection from me because it makes her feel desirable. It would seem they think they are looking like a DeSoto and we will be more interested in the Corvette. I take her on date nights. I still hold her hand in the car or walking anywhere. I give her free time to play candy crush! :haha: Most of all and I have said it before, she will say she is a lady in the parlor and a whore in the bedroom. I honor her offer and offer my honor. Its offer and honor all night. :up: Rinse and repeat three times a week. Or more. :D But seriously, holding hands, opening the car door and being as accommodating as you can goes a long way. It does not have to be overly dramatic. The simple stuff that shows you care and love her carries a lot of clout.


I write her poetry often......

I think it's my brother, he's one of those that post everything he does on FB for his GF. I tell her he's not married and it's just a show....

I guess I'm bad at the little everyday things....

[nikimcbee]

Wait a minute, hold the phone!

What about Bear? All you need is Bear. Plus, I bet Bear loves it when you take him out for BBQ.:up:

If your wife was Russian, I'd say bust out classic Russian prose. That always worked for me. Sadly that doesn't work in the US. If you're in Russia though, it works like a charm:D:03:. Don't ask how I know this.:D:hmmm: Pushkin or Lermontov works great.

update.
http://www.poetryloverspage.com/poets/pushkin/thou_and_you.html

I checked out one poem I know in English, but it doesn't have the same feeling/meaning. Lost in translation.

[Armistead]

Oh! tappin' that baton to a little iambic pentameter Eh? don't git no splinters offn' that ol' headboard tryn' ta stay in tempo. That could be serious test of yo' manhood; 'n yer nag would haf'ta put the 'tweeze' to ya' n seriously leash yur ol' hounddog we hear a bay'n so mournfully...yer 'swash done buckled' 'ol son!:D Have 'ol voodoo Mami mix up a little Ageless Male and Viagra elixir-wurks fer me- 'petit mort' my ass!:har:


WTH....

[AVGWarhawk]

I write her poetry often......

I think it's my brother, he's one of those that post everything he does on FB for his GF. I tell her he's not married and it's just a show....

I guess I'm bad at the little everyday things....


Frigging FB. FB is just another cartridge in the gun to use if you don't post something out of your own volition or something similar to what another has posted about their significant other. It is almost frowned upon if something is not posted. Another reason I'm not a huge FB fan.

Anyway, my wife and I shop together. I cop feels in the grocery store in front of the security cameras. Then smile into the camera. :haha: She gets a kick out of the "hands on" in the grocery store. :haha:

I don't do the whole make a dinner with candles and wine, etc. I do make reservations at a nice restaurant though. :arrgh!: She likes that. A little fawning over and the like.

[AVGWarhawk]

Oh! tappin' that baton to a little iambic pentameter Eh? don't git no splinters offn' that ol' headboard tryn' ta stay in tempo. That could be serious test of yo' manhood; 'n yer nag would haf'ta put the 'tweeze' to ya' n seriously leash yur ol' hounddog we hear a bay'n so mournfully...yer 'swash done buckled' 'ol son!:D Have 'ol voodoo Mami mix up a little Ageless Male and Viagra elixir-wurks fer me- 'petit mort' my ass!:har:

Go sleep it off. :haha:

[Armistead]

Wait a minute, hold the phone!

What about Bear? All you need is Bear. Plus, I bet Bear loves it when you take him out for BBQ.:up:

If your wife was Russian, I'd say bust out classic Russian prose. That always worked for me. Sadly that doesn't work in the US. If you're in Russia though, it works like a charm:D:03:. Don't ask how I know this.:D:hmmm: Pushkin or Lermontov works great.

update.
http://www.poetryloverspage.com/poets/pushkin/thou_and_you.html

I checked out one poem I know in English, but it doesn't have the same feeling/meaning. Lost in translation.

You're so romantic.

Yea, all I need is Bear, but I can't afford a divorce.....this is payment for former sins... I have to make the best out of it for now, so I'll try some of the tips......

[Armistead]

[QUOTE=Armistead;2136721]this is payment for former sins./QUOTE]
Merely the points on the loan ol' son, the principle and interest lie ahead!:o:Kaleun_Salivating::Kaleun_Wink:


Hey, I better be well into the principle after 18 years, or is it 19,,,I don't remember...I don't even remember our anniversary.. Neal should have a line up where he can send us reminders like we do birthdays..

[Jimbuna]

Hey, I better be well into the principle after 18 years, or is it 19,,,I don't remember...I don't even remember our anniversary.. Neal should have a line up where he can send us reminders like we do birthdays..

Don't feel so bad, I'm into my thirtieth year and still forget :doh:

[Platapus]

I''m just not romantic, makes me feel silly.

Then, simply you are doing it wrong. Don't confuse being romantic with the actions of demonstrating romance. There may be specific ways of demonstrating romance that you don't like. Then you don't have to do them. Find other ways of demonstrating romance that don't make you feel silly.

Geez, we've been married about 18 years, who needs romance at our age.

First suggestion is to get rid of that attitude. Romance has zero to do with logic. Who needs romance at your age? Well for one, your wife does. And to an extent larger than you may realize, you need it.

Romance is like a fungus, it grows upon itself. OK, maybe that was not the optimum visual but you get the idea. :D

Romance is simply the plan to remove the following from a relationship.

1. Feeling being taken for granted. Protip: Whether you do or do not take your wife for granted has absolutely nothing to do with this. It is completely irrelevant and immaterial as they say on TV. The only thing that matters is whether your wife feels that you are taking her for granted.

Implementation: Thank her for stuff that she really should not need to be thanked for. Express appreciation for her doing "what is expected". Show gratitude for the ordinary.

2. Feeling like the "conquest" is over. Do you find your wife still attractive enough to pursue her if you were not already married. Hint: The answer is yes. You know it. You need to let her know it... and not just when you want a piece. Show her, in no uncertain terms, that you would prefer being around her more than being around any other woman.

Implementation: Touching. The Womenfolk dig and like touching. Not just grabbing a handful of goodies. Just a light touch on the arm/hand when you are out in public. As a guy who is naturally not a touchy guy, it took me a long time to learn this. Look at her. Look at her as if you are a guy looking at the woman he loves (which you is). Not a pervy look. A look that shows her that you are looking at her as a person.

Your wife, after 18 years, knows you. Knows you pretty well. Already knows that you have difficulties expressing romance. Don't try to fool her. If you were to suddenly start waxing poetically with arms of flowers, she would know it was contrived. The key to expressing romance is small and often. Be sincere. If you can fake that you got it made. :up:

It is not the diamond rings or the cruise vacation. Those are nice. It is not the Roses on Valentines day or the expensive jewelry on her birthday. Those are anticipated. Its the little things that you do; not because of a date on a calender, but the things you do because every day with her is a special day.

Every day with her is a special day.


The best part about romance is that no one other than your wife would be aware of it. So there is no need to feel silly. Nothing I suggested requires anything to be purchased. In my opinion, romance and buying stuff don't really go together.

You wife wants to feel connected to you. Not just sexually, but intellectually, emotionally, economically, (add a few dozen more similar words). Your wife completes you and that's a pretty nice thing she does.

Let her know that you know that she knows... wait. You want her to know that you know that she knows.. damn. Just fricking tell her!! :D

You do have one advantage. You are a man. Society and your wife set some incredibly low standards when it comes to romance. This is one aspect of life where you get credit just for trying. Some may say that in romance it is ONLY that you are trying that matters.

In a woman's heart, there is nothing larger than the small stuff. Nothing is more important to hear that that which does not need to be said.

Good luck with it. I am also approaching 18 years with The Frau. I have been in your shoes (BTW wash your socks once in a while huh). I have made a lot of mistakes and actually done some good things romance wise. But I try. I keep trying. And for some odd reason, that seems enough to her.

[Jimbuna]

I sense a response inbound.

[Wolferz]

Call Doctor Phil and leave the rest of us alone.:rock:

[Platapus]

I honor her offer and offer my honor.


I like that! :up:

[Wolferz]

[QUOTE=Armistead;2136745]
It is sufficient that Herr Onkel keeps us at our mancave's computers, thereby saving us from ourselves in the real cruel cold world. Marriage counseling is not in his job description; set your cell phone ring tone for the appropriate day in question; have yur 'suck-up gift' (bought in bulk) standing by (redundancy factor) and re-sand the head board! and rename your ol' baton (we all have our niks here) something uplifting...like WINNER:up:

Charlie Sheen??? I'm not calling my tool that! Even if it's full of Tiger blood.:hmmm:

[HW3]

Having watched my Mom & Dad together over the years, before they both passed, it is the little things that make the difference.:03:

[Wolferz]

Try this with your woman, Armistead...

Lay three pennies on the table with Lincoln facing up and ask her three questions as follows...
1. Do you see any cars there?
No? Three Lincolns.
2. Do you see any snakes there?
No? Three Copperheads.
3. Do you see any sex there?

No and you won't either for three measly cents.

Then you ask what she would do for a quarter. Followed closely with a big ol' Bugs Bunny kiss.

[Sailor Steve]

Shorten this up for RED OCTOBER could ya...good to see the usual culprits rippin' up a thread together if only Dönitz had had us in the same pack... :yep:
Your starting to spam. The insults aren't helping either.

[Wolferz]

Wet blankets nullify romance very quickly, Steve. :03::O:

No more Pepsi after six PM for you young man.

[Armistead]

Try this with your woman, Armistead...

Lay three pennies on the table with Lincoln facing up and ask her three questions as follows...
1. Do you see any cars there?
No? Three Lincolns.
2. Do you see any snakes there?
No? Three Copperheads.
3. Do you see any sex there?

No and you won't either for three measly cents.

Then you ask what she would do for a quarter. Followed closely with a big ol' Bugs Bunny kiss.


I tried that....she put her clothes back on and walked out......thanks for the tip..:yeah:

Having watched my Mom & Dad together over the years, before they both passed, it is the little things that make the difference.:03:

I agree, I do as little as I can with her.....

Then, simply you are doing it wrong. Don't confuse being romantic with the actions of demonstrating romance. There may be specific ways of demonstrating romance that you don't like. Then you don't have to do them. Find other ways of demonstrating romance that don't make you feel silly.



First suggestion is to get rid of that attitude. Romance has zero to do with logic. Who needs romance at your age? Well for one, your wife does. And to an extent larger than you may realize, you need it.

Romance is like a fungus, it grows upon itself. OK, maybe that was not the optimum visual but you get the idea. :D

Romance is simply the plan to remove the following from a relationship.

1. Feeling being taken for granted. Protip: Whether you do or do not take your wife for granted has absolutely nothing to do with this. It is completely irrelevant and immaterial as they say on TV. The only thing that matters is whether your wife feels that you are taking her for granted.

Implementation: Thank her for stuff that she really should not need to be thanked for. Express appreciation for her doing "what is expected". Show gratitude for the ordinary.

2. Feeling like the "conquest" is over. Do you find your wife still attractive enough to pursue her if you were not already married. Hint: The answer is yes. You know it. You need to let her know it... and not just when you want a piece. Show her, in no uncertain terms, that you would prefer being around her more than being around any other woman.

Implementation: Touching. The Womenfolk dig and like touching. Not just grabbing a handful of goodies. Just a light touch on the arm/hand when you are out in public. As a guy who is naturally not a touchy guy, it took me a long time to learn this. Look at her. Look at her as if you are a guy looking at the woman he loves (which you is). Not a pervy look. A look that shows her that you are looking at her as a person.

Your wife, after 18 years, knows you. Knows you pretty well. Already knows that you have difficulties expressing romance. Don't try to fool her. If you were to suddenly start waxing poetically with arms of flowers, she would know it was contrived. The key to expressing romance is small and often. Be sincere. If you can fake that you got it made. :up:

It is not the diamond rings or the cruise vacation. Those are nice. It is not the Roses on Valentines day or the expensive jewelry on her birthday. Those are anticipated. Its the little things that you do; not because of a date on a calender, but the things you do because every day with her is a special day.

Every day with her is a special day.


The best part about romance is that no one other than your wife would be aware of it. So there is no need to feel silly. Nothing I suggested requires anything to be purchased. In my opinion, romance and buying stuff don't really go together.

You wife wants to feel connected to you. Not just sexually, but intellectually, emotionally, economically, (add a few dozen more similar words). Your wife completes you and that's a pretty nice thing she does.

Let her know that you know that she knows... wait. You want her to know that you know that she knows.. damn. Just fricking tell her!! :D

You do have one advantage. You are a man. Society and your wife set some incredibly low standards when it comes to romance. This is one aspect of life where you get credit just for trying. Some may say that in romance it is ONLY that you are trying that matters.

In a woman's heart, there is nothing larger than the small stuff. Nothing is more important to hear that that which does not need to be said.

Good luck with it. I am also approaching 18 years with The Frau. I have been in your shoes (BTW wash your socks once in a while huh). I have made a lot of mistakes and actually done some good things romance wise. But I try. I keep trying. And for some odd reason, that seems enough to her.

Geesh....and good advice......Overall my wife is very attractive for her age. On a serious note, I've never complained about her looks, growing older, etc...

I once wrote this for her

Beauty Marks

-----------------------------------

Lately as we age, you're bothered by what you think I see
how children, stress and time have changed you

You often now hide behind towels, doors and darkness

Do I see the yearly changes, well, yes I do

but I have never complained
you know this to be true
but I think they bother you

You need to know these things hardly show

but tell a story of your love

You were so small when he came, the son that you gave me
marks left from a battle won, they told you not to do it
you struggled, in so much pain

the constant worry of life as we all grew older

These things that make you feel ugly, my fingers love to tease
all reminders to me of your love for us.

I will kiss and caress them.

don't hide them from me

I wonder if you even notice all the bumps and touches everyday
They may seem accidental touches in passing

they're not

I'm just saying this......

Sure, I enjoy when you look your best
but I enjoy you just as much as you are

You don't have to get up to cut the light off.
Please feel free to drop the towel at the door.
I like when you wear only t-shirts and socks.
I like your hair pulled over your brow....I always have.
When you bend over at the dryer...I'm looking.
When you're in the tub, my eyes look in the mirror for reflection.

If you really want to appear beautiful to me, expose yourself
I promise you, the more exposed you are, the more beautiful you become.

Never hide your beauty marks from me.

You're more beautiful now than ever..........


Cheesy as it is, it made her cry and boy did I get some good loving...

[Tango589]

:sign_yeah:Bravo sir, who says you can't be romantic? I may well have to remember this poem for my good Lady in case as the years roll by and she feels less secure in herself.

ps. I will add a mental note to credit you as the author...:03:

[Madox58]

Dude. Just love the Wife!
Remember why you decided She was to be the one to spend the rest of your life with?
Remember how you snagged her?
Just give her that few moments like you did then.
It's not black magic and it's not that hard.
She ain't killed you yet. And I stress the yet!
Look her dead in the eyes and tell her...
"I'm an ass at times, I know that. But I Love you with all my heart and I need your help to be a better Mate."
Then go from there. Keep an open mind and realize you nor her are perfect.
(You and I are near perfect but We can't tell them that! :))

The sexting thing AVG mentioned? Be careful about that!
I do Computer work for friends and found some of my sexting to my Wife on thier systems!!
:o
Seems she was bragging abit. (With good cause I must add :D)
But still?

[Armistead]

Dude. Just love the Wife!
Remember why you decided She was to be the one to spend the rest of your life with?
Remember how you snagged her?
Just give her that few moments like you did then.
It's not black magic and it's not that hard.
She ain't killed you yet. And I stress the yet!
Look her dead in the eyes and tell her...
"I'm an ass at times, I know that. But I Love you with all my heart and I need your help to be a better Mate."
Then go from there. Keep an open mind and realize you nor her are perfect.
(You and I are near perfect but We can't tell them that! :))

The sexting thing AVG mentioned? Be careful about that!
I do Computer work for friends and found some of my sexting to my Wife on thier systems!!
:o
Seems she was bragging abit. (With good cause I must add :D)
But still?


Is sexting dirty talk texting?

I don't do text.......

[Madox58]

Is sexting dirty talk texting?

I don't do text.......

Ask AVG. I mostly tell the wife by text..........
Quit texting me and make a freaking phone call!
It takes less time!
:haha:

[AVGWarhawk]

Yes, sexting is texting. It is a bit more discreet than talking on the phone. The text messages do not end up on someone else phone. Even so, I would not care anyway. Just dirty talk that gets the gears going. :up:

[Armistead]

Yes, sexting is texting. It is a bit more discreet than talking on the phone. The text messages do not end up on someone else phone. Even so, I would not care anyway. Just dirty talk that gets the gears going. :up:


Figured as much.....I prefer the phone....

[Armistead]

OK, I'm trying it, just sent her a sext...hope this goes well..

[Tango589]

The best of British luck to you sir!:salute:

[Armistead]

This stuff really works...she's actually replying...

genius you guys are...genius.....:yeah:

[Jimbuna]

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/About/General/2012/3/13/1331636350098/Rebekah-Brooks-007.jpg (http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&frm=1&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&docid=TQGlVp3cRGsw4M&tbnid=ryqPTyIb0W7SEM:&ved=0CAUQjRw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theguardian.com%2Fmedia%2F201 2%2Fmar%2F13%2Frebekah-brooks-arrested-phone-hacking-investigation&ei=3nd1UrCGLeam0QXfmYGoBQ&bvm=bv.55819444,d.ZG4&psig=AFQjCNEy5yufrHePaLFq8jvLmhA-c5C3tQ&ust=1383516506961767)
Best make sure it is your wife and not the one in the picture :)

[Wolferz]

This stuff really works...she's actually replying...

genius you guys are...genius.....:yeah:

She's probably rolling her eyes and sharing her phone secrets with all the girls in the beauty parlor.:salute:

Look for the tell tale signs the next time she's on the phone with her BFF. There will be lots of snickering and a belly laugh or two.:hmmm:

We always do more for love than logic

[Armistead]

She's at a fencing match...

Just shut up Wolferz, your jealous this is working for me...

I'm getting good at this, but right now using google search for good sexts....

I wonder how she got so good at this.....:hmmm:

[AVGWarhawk]

This stuff really works...she's actually replying...

genius you guys are...genius.....:yeah:

She's at a fencing match...

Just shut up Wolferz, your jealous this is working for me...

I'm getting good at this, but right now using google search for good sexts....

I wonder how she got so good at this.....:hmmm:


If you are lucky a picture of certain body parts might pop up in a text. I get those at work sometimes. :D:yeah:


She did not get good at sexting....it was always in there like most sexual beings have. You opened the door! :yep:

[AVGWarhawk]

She's probably rolling her eyes and sharing her phone secrets with all the girls in the beauty parlor.:salute:

Look for the tell tale signs the next time she's on the phone with her BFF. There will be lots of snickering and a belly laugh or two.:hmmm:

We always do more for love than logic

My wife shares our secrets (sexcapades) with her friends. It does not bother me. Today when we went to the grocery store I positioned 2 coconuts and a plantain in a position that left nothing to the imagination. She took a picture and sent a text to her friends that stated "Chris is having fun in the fruit section." They all get kick out of it. It's life man, embrace it.

[Tango589]

I'm getting good at this, but right now using google search for good sexts....

Never mind Google, follow your heart (or loins...):)

[Armistead]

Got it ! deleted all spam posts and insults; besides Wolfertz and Platypus outgun me anyhow and don't require my assistance; thanks for the heads up:nope::/\\chop :rotfl2:damn! missed the basket again!

I don't mind it you spam me or insult me, everyone else does, don't let it bother you....

[Armistead]

My wife shares our secrets (sexcapades) with her friends. It does not bother me. Today when we went to the grocery store I positioned 2 coconuts and a plantain in a position that left nothing to the imagination. She took a picture and sent a text to her friends that stated "Chris is having fun in the fruit section." They all get kick out of it. It's life man, embrace it.

Women are bigger talkers than men with their friends....


I like the phone better, but sexting seems to work, slower, more tantalizing. Only downside is you can't put them on speaker phone....

Anyway....good fun night.....

[nikimcbee]

Well congrats:up:
In all seriousness, maybe you could take dancing lessons together? Like at a community college or something.

What kinda stuff does she like to do?


I was worried, I'd hafta start posting 80's hairband power love ballads.:hmm2:

[AVGWarhawk]

Women are bigger talkers than men with their friends....


I like the phone better, but sexting seems to work, slower, more tantalizing. Only downside is you can't put them on speaker phone....

Anyway....good fun night.....

Glad to hear it. :up:

[Armistead]

Well congrats:up:
In all seriousness, maybe you could take dancing lessons together? Like at a community college or something.

What kinda stuff does she like to do?


I was worried, I'd hafta start posting 80's hairband power love ballads.:hmm2:


she likes to travel.....nothing major, just road trips....small towns, history....We do still go to CW reenactor balls and dance once in awhile....I did clean all day while she was gone.....that she likes.....

[Wolferz]

No Marty, I'm not jealous. Why should I be? It's your adventure and three is a crowd. Or an orgy. Glad you're rediscovering your youth and spicing up the stale and restless.:up: Try not to injure yourself with that tantric stuff. You ain't as young as you used to was.:03::D
Call Cyrano if you are ever at a loss for words.

[swamprat69er]

You could try treating her the same way you did 18 years ago when you were trying to get into her pants.:D

[Platapus]

Overall my wife is very attractive for her age.


I do not profess a complete knowledge of the English Language, but I am pretty confident that there is simply no way one can compliment a woman if the phrase "for her age" is included. :D

[Armistead]

I do not profess a complete knowledge of the English Language, but I am pretty confident that there is simply no way one can compliment a woman if the phrase "for her age" is included. :D

It's called factual honesty....We both know and admit we don't look as good as we did when we were 25.....As you get older, you accept your body changes and outer beauty fades.....

[Armistead]

No Marty, I'm not jealous. Why should I be? It's your adventure and three is a crowd. Or an orgy. Glad you're rediscovering your youth and spicing up the stale and restless.:up: Try not to injure yourself with that tantric stuff. You ain't as young as you used to was.:03::D
Call Cyrano if you are ever at a loss for words.

Oh, we still make the same sounds in the bedroom as we did when we were young, just now it's from pain, not pleasure......oow, ahhhh, errrrrr, ohhhhh...

[Armistead]

You could try treating her the same way you did 18 years ago when you were trying to get into her pants.:D

bah......

[GoldenRivet]

1. Flowers delivered to work always is a sure thing, it cannot be any special occasion, and it must be a day of the week that isnt otherwise important. like a Tuesday... who gives a damn about tuesday? These are called "just because flowers". Women love when their co-workers come up to them gushing over how sweet their man is and how jealous they are that they didn't get any. Don't over do it... no "just because flowers" more than once or twice every few months.

2. Clean the house like a man possessed while she is at work. take a day off if you must. no dishes, counter space glistens like new fallen snow, the carpet is vacuumed and as fresh as the day it was installed. Dont "man clean" the place either by putting stuff under other stuff... woman clean it good and proper like. This is the female equivalent of a good sloppy.... well, you know.

3. Going out of town for a day or two? Write a brief note for her about how much you love her, have enjoyed her company over the years, and you cant wait to see her again. 2-3 lines, it doesn't have to be shakespear, it just has to come from you. "I love you, you are a wonderful woman and I appreciate the type of wife you have been for me over the years, and i cannot wait to see you again." throw in a couple of X's and Os just for the pure hell of it.

4. find out what her favorite movie is. you should know this already. put it on netflix, or rent it, buy it, hire actors, whatever... order something delivered, dim the lights and enjoy your time together.

5. Women hate sex. They pretend to like it to inflate your ego once in a while. dont buy floozie underwear, sex toys, sexy games, strip games, etc. Women actually love sex, but they love it on their terms. if you buy her this load of garbage she will be put off and view it as you trying to get booty. (kinda like buying her a 250 piece Kobalt tool set for Christmas)

I do not profess a complete knowledge of the English Language, but I am pretty confident that there is simply no way one can compliment a woman if the phrase "for her age" is included. :D

^ that

she is the sexiest woman you have ever had the pleasure of knowing (in my case of course this is completely true, unfortunately a lot of guys have to kinda half fake that LOL)

[Armistead]

1. Flowers delivered to work always is a sure thing, it cannot be any special occasion, and it must be a day of the week that isnt otherwise important. like a Tuesday... who gives a damn about tuesday? These are called "just because flowers". Women love when their co-workers come up to them gushing over how sweet their man is and how jealous they are that they didn't get any. Don't over do it... no "just because flowers" more than once or twice every few months.

2. Clean the house like a man possessed while she is at work. take a day off if you must. no dishes, counter space glistens like new fallen snow, the carpet is vacuumed and as fresh as the day it was installed. Dont "man clean" the place either by putting stuff under other stuff... woman clean it good and proper like. This is the female equivalent of a good sloppy.... well, you know.

3. Going out of town for a day or two? Write a brief note for her about how much you love her, have enjoyed her company over the years, and you cant wait to see her again. 2-3 lines, it doesn't have to be shakespear, it just has to come from you. "I love you, you are a wonderful woman and I appreciate the type of wife you have been for me over the years, and i cannot wait to see you again." throw in a couple of X's and Os just for the pure hell of it.

4. find out what her favorite movie is. you should know this already. put it on netflix, or rent it, buy it, hire actors, whatever... order something delivered, dim the lights and enjoy your time together.

5. Women hate sex. They pretend to like it to inflate your ego once in a while. dont buy floozie underwear, sex toys, sexy games, strip games, etc. Women actually love sex, but they love it on their terms. if you buy her this load of garbage she will be put off and view it as you trying to get booty. (kinda like buying her a 250 piece Kobalt tool set for Christmas)



^ that

she is the sexiest woman you have ever had the pleasure of knowing (in my case of course this is completely true, unfortunately a lot of guys have to kinda half fake that LOL)

5.

Ha, one our fav things to do is go to the toy shop together....We're both rediscovering life to a degree, daughter moved out finally, son is now driving and hanging out with friends, she went back to work....Seems life the last 15 year was a blur of hectic activity, with a few special moments just for us...

[AVGWarhawk]

You could try treating her the same way you did 18 years ago when you were trying to get into her pants.:D

Put dollars in her garter belt?:hmmm: I still do that with my wife. :D

[AVGWarhawk]

5.

Ha, one our fav things to do is go to the toy shop together....We're both rediscovering life to a degree, daughter moved out finally, son is now driving and hanging out with friends, she went back to work....Seems life the last 15 year was a blur of hectic activity, with a few special moments just for us...

There is that. When the kids start doing things on their own it is the best time to reconnect. The relationship can go back in time before kids.

[Armistead]

Put dollars in her garter belt?:hmmm: I still do that with my wife. :D

Haha.....

We have planned to go to a CW ball next weekend.. Those get rather crazy. The woman usually end up dancing and will pull up their hoop skirts just enough we can put dollars in their garters....I tell my wife to dance sexy and collect all the bills she can....helps pay for vacation

[Wolferz]

Oh, we still make the same sounds in the bedroom as we did when we were young, just now it's from pain, not pleasure......oow, ahhhh, errrrrr, ohhhhh...

Simple fix. Scoot her away from the head board and keep your elbows off her hair.:har:

This also cures... Not tonight honey, I'm going to have a headache.

[Jimbuna]

Put dollars in her garter belt?:hmmm: I still do that with my wife. :D

She must get really mad when she goes shopping and realises they're forged notes :)

[TarJak]

She must get really mad when she goes shopping and realises they're forged notes :)

Monopoly money won't get you very far.

[Jimbuna]

Monopoly money won't get you very far.

Wrong actually....it could get you as far as a penal colony if your really unlucky :O:

[AVGWarhawk]

She must get really mad when she goes shopping and realises they're forged notes :)

She runs the credit card instead. :shifty:

[TarJak]

She runs the credit card instead. :shifty:

That's a universal given.

[Platapus]

It's called factual honesty

Combining "factual honesty" and "romance" I believe is the definition of Mutual Exclusivity. :haha:

Romance is looking beyond factual honesty and delving into emotional honesty.:up:

[Armistead]

Combining "factual honesty" and "romance" I believe is the definition of Mutual Exclusivity. :haha:

Romance is looking beyond factual honesty and delving into emotional honesty.:up:

depends on how vain your wife is.....my wife was model when we met and she always made be honest about her looks and clothes.....still am and she appreciates it..

but of course I say she looks beautiful........cuz she is..

[Armistead]

:lurk:
Nope, der Überfleiger DF'd me and now I lurk safely in the murky depths of :subsim: depravity, marveling at the innately superior romantic wisdom of Wolfertz and Platypus and combined centuries(at least) of knowledge of amorous assault on impregnable inamoratii, mindful of Circe in the Odyssey: "but men are pigs and love their gryllic state" as she turned the crew into swine...'PenelopeBBY I wanna come home...but I'm a little tied up'!:o:lurk:


Did you just call me an a-hole?

[Armistead]

I would never call any one an Aßhole (pubically); I was merely quoting the Odyßey with reference 2 the timeless condition of genetically modified Sasquatches in general; but if your up this late answering me, I now have some clue as to the quality of your bedside manner; from the Spanish: "amor de alejós(at the keyboard?) es amór de pandéjos"! C'mon ArmiBBY-a little ménage et tois here: U, the nag, and that headboard! As Dönitz would say himself: "gute Fahrt und Fette Beute" mit alles der 'aals und spargels' at your command...and for gott's sake, use the manual TDC, zero the scope as u close der convoy und versenkt amidships!:salute:

Whats eel and asparagus got to do with the headboard....?

http://i1176.photobucket.com/albums/x333/Maximumbob54/clint-eastwood-disgusted-gif.gif (http://s1176.photobucket.com/user/Maximumbob54/media/clint-eastwood-disgusted-gif.gif.html)

Discere loqui stupri anglicu!!

[Jimbuna]

Beginning to look like a short romance.

[Madox58]

Beginning to look like a short romance.

:hmmm:
I thought we had an insult thread somewhere?
:03:

[Armistead]

SUBSIM <<<< probably not the best place to come for romantic advice..

[Madox58]

SUBSIM <<<< probably not the best place to come for romantic advice..
As Subsim is mostly about simulations?
If your only simulating Romance it's probably a good place to visit.
:D

[Jimbuna]

SUBSIM <<<< probably not the best place to come for romantic advice..

Oh, I wouldn't say that...once you manage to decipher the odd post it can be quite entertaining in a way :03:

[AVGWarhawk]

SUBSIM <<<< probably not the best place to come for romantic advice..

Not true, I still have your picture. :yep:

[Armistead]

Not true, I still have your picture. :yep:


Someone told us to try "swinging", so we went to the park, it was pretty fun..

[AVGWarhawk]

Someone told us to try "swinging", so we went to the park, it was pretty fun..

Swinging, makes for a good XXX movie but the parks swings are much more fun. Less complicated plus no guilt if you are swinging. :haha:

[Armistead]

Swinging, makes for a good XXX movie but the parks swings are much more fun. Less complicated plus no guilt if you are swinging. :haha:

My wife would never make an XXX rated movie on a swing....

We did once make love on a cannon at Charleston SC at night.....The one pointing at Fort Sumter....we felt it our southern duty....:yeah:

[Armistead]

More bang for the buck or ridn' the gunner's daughter? (the 'spargel' is the nickname for the periscope in der ubootwaffe):nope:


Dude,,,,she didn't CHARGE me.....:k_confused:

[AVGWarhawk]

My wife would never make an XXX rated movie on a swing....

We did once make love on a cannon at Charleston SC at night.....The one pointing at Fort Sumter....we felt it our southern duty....:yeah:

Not make a XXX movie. A swinger "plot" makes for a good XXX movie.

Two years ago we took care of business in the back of my 54 in a church parking lot. :D

[Armistead]

Not make a XXX movie. A swinger "plot" makes for a good XXX movie.

Two years ago we took care of business in the back of my 54 in a church parking lot. :D

oh a plot......or as we call them "re-enactment balls".....

[Armistead]

http://i867.photobucket.com/albums/ab239/Nerdkiller/BugsBunny.gif (http://media.photobucket.com/user/Nerdkiller/media/BugsBunny.gif.html)

[AVGWarhawk]

http://i867.photobucket.com/albums/ab239/Nerdkiller/BugsBunny.gif (http://media.photobucket.com/user/Nerdkiller/media/BugsBunny.gif.html)

Try the block function. It works wonders.

[Jimbuna]

Try the block function. It works wonders.

As I understand it the list is growing.

[Armistead]

I would never block him, one of my favorite posters, but I can only take two post a day from him, lest my head explode.....

[Platapus]

SUBSIM <<<< probably not the best place to come for romantic advice..


It would be nice if there were a "Romance" mod we guys could download and install. :yep:

But I think there are some code conflicts with the "I am just a guy" supermod. :nope:

[nikimcbee]

It would be nice if there were a "Romance" mod we guys could download and install. :yep:

But I think there are some code conflicts with the "I am just a guy" supermod. :nope:


Oh, a romatic mod....I know just the one.:D
http://uk.web.img3.acsta.net/r_640_600/b_1_d6d6d6/medias/nmedia/18/65/54/80/18877871.jpg

[Platapus]

Oh, a romatic mod....I know just the one.:D



Harrumph.

[Madox58]

It would be nice if there were a "Romance" mod we guys could download and install. :yep:

But I think there are some code conflicts with the "I am just a guy" supermod. :nope:

Once you install Wife 1.0? It nags about the I am just a guy supermod.
They never fixed that bug.
:nope:

All versions of Girlfriend worked only for a short time with just a guy as well.
I'm pretty sure GF would attempt an upgrade to Fiancee after about a year anyway?
Of course once that upgrade is allowed? Wife 1.0 gets installed sooner or later and takes over the system!
It breeds child processes and installs Mother-in-Law, and a whole lot of demanding plug-ins like Morgage.

Not to mention the Nag plug-in!
Wife also kills the Guys night out process but never stops the Nag plug-in after doing so!

DO NOT ATTEMPT to install Mistress 1.0 with Wife any version in a vain attempt to get the benifits of the Romance plug-in included with Mistress!

Wife any version will detect it and fire up Personal Lawyer which will remove all your financial programs!

Incase you wonder how I know all this?
I'm running Wife 3.0

[Platapus]

I'm running Wife 3.0

Are you still paying for licensing fees for Wife 1.0 and Wife 2.0?

I hear the maintenance contracts can be a killer.

[Madox58]

Wife 1.0 installed 2 child processes which I payed off.
Kid 1.0 I work with.
Kid 2.0 doesn't communicate properly so I think it's got bugs.
Wife 2.0 included Abuse Husband 1.0.7.1 and I had a program to stop any child processes so Wife 2.0 got half of everything (and I do mean half!)after ChainSaw 1.0
:haha:

Wife 3.0 is compatable with Guy Friends 1.0+ and doesn't conflict with the I am just a guy supermod so far.
That might be because I installed Girls Night out?
I did get the Mother-in-Law reinstalled but it's a version I like very much.
:up:

The Step-Son plug-in is acting up a bit just now but no longer is installed in the system so I can deal with that.

[Armistead]

Studies have now shown there is one food that ruins a woman's sex drive.

Wedding Cake....

[Armistead]

Wife 3.0 seems to run fairly stable for me as well.

[TarJak]

I'm still running Wife 1.0 and with some regular maintenance using DateNight 2013 it's been working for the last 25 years. I had some early problems with nagging but if you enable the ignore function you can live with it. Girls night out works a treat as well.

I am still dealing with the 3 child processes but I've found Work 8.2.6 tends to reduce the amount of time I have to deal with the issues they cause and found that if left to its own devices Wife 1.0 will look after them for me.

[Jimbuna]

I'm still running Wife 1.0 and with some regular maintenance using DateNight 2013 it's been working for the last 25 years. I had some early problems with nagging but if you enable the ignore function you can live with it. Girls night out works a treat as well.

I am still dealing with the 3 child processes but I've found Work 8 till 6 tends to reduce the amount of time I have to deal with the issues they cause ans found that if left to its own devices Wife 1.0 will look after them for me.

In a sentence....under the thumb :O:

[TarJak]

In a sentence....under the thumb :O:

She is mate she is.:03:

[Jimbuna]

She is mate she is.:03:

LOL...you been on the draught porridge again? :)

[TarJak]

LOL...you been on the draught porridge again? :)

Red wine tonight. A cheeky merlot from the Hunter Valley.:O:

[Aktungbby]

It would be nice if there were a "Romance" mod we guys could download and install.
I know just the one.
under the thumb :O:
:D:woot::doh::o:88):huh::oops:...:dead:

[Jimbuna]

Red wine tonight. A cheeky merlot from the Hunter Valley.:O:

The boss likes a glass of Wolf Blass Red Label Chardonnay.

[TarJak]

And so she should. I'm sure you get them in regular like too. :O:

[Jimbuna]

And so she should. I'm sure you get them in regular like too. :O:

She does alright :)

[Armistead]

Jim,

Your fat jokes aren't going so well on my wifes FB page....but the men love them...

[Jimbuna]

Jim,

Your fat jokes aren't going so well on my wifes FB page....but the men love them...

Well tell her I admire her judgement....my wife thinks similarly and I learned a long time ago that a peaceful coexistence was best achieved by agreeing with your other half's opinion :yep:

[Armistead]

I posted the whale joke... , the one where a rude person called wife a whale and husband told her to stop blubbering...

Her response was 'not funny"

I told her I was just joking, that she wasn't near as big as a whale......

Not sure why that peod her off, dang pillow and blanket got thrown down the stairs..

[Jimbuna]

Just be grateful you have no kennel in the back garden :)

[TarJak]

Well tell her I admire her judgement....my wife thinks similarly and I learned a long time ago that a peaceful coexistence was best achieved by agreeing with your other half's opinion :yep:

Happy wife happy life.:smug:

[Jimbuna]

Happy wife happy life.:smug:

Never a truer word :know:

[AVGWarhawk]

I posted the whale joke... , the one where a rude person called wife a whale and husband told her to stop blubbering...

Her response was 'not funny"

I told her I was just joking, that she wasn't near as big as a whale......

Not sure why that peod her off, dang pillow and blanket got thrown down the stairs..


:har::har::har:

Happy wife happy life.:smug:

Yep, she ain't happy, nobody is happy.....:yep: This is the reason for basements and garages.