Headlines from the Future

[Feuer Frei!]

Newsflash! Newsflash!


Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.


Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
swatters and rolled-up news papers must be registered by January 2030.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed
they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces
mail delivery to Wednesdays only.


Add yours.

[Hottentot]

The border skirmishes between China and Finland claim another life.

[Cybermat47]

America votes to become an Australian state

[BossMark]

Labour win 2015 general election with a majority of 180 :yep:

Leeds United win the championship 2013\14 season

Leeds United win the premiership 2014\15 season

Leeds United win the champions league 2015\16 season

[Feuer Frei!]

Leeds United win the championship 2013\14 season

Leeds United win the premiership 2014\15 season

Leeds United win the champions league 2015\16 season

You will have to wait a lot longer than that i'd say :O:

[Oberon]

2016 election settled by a gun duel between the two candidates.

[flatsixes]

Flying Cars Rumored For 2076

[Oberon]

Kim Jong-un "I mean it this time...I'll do it...I will!"

[STEED]

UK now a 3rd world country, immigrants leave the UK on the backs of the banks who plundered the country's wealth, civil unrest breaks out as EU fine the UK again.

[Madox58]

April 1st, 2013

North Korea announced today that it's Top Secret 'Flying Monkey' program will be used to attack the United States.

[flatsixes]

Still Rockin' at 106: Rolling Stones Sell Out Madison Square Garden to Kick off 85th Anniversary Tour

[reignofdeath]

April 29th, 2013

NK attacks Honolulu, Hawaii, USA with one small Nuclear Device. 27,000 Dead. NK is no longer on the map..

[Jimbuna]

Lord Lucan is found.

[AVGWarhawk]

"Jim Buna reaches 1,000,000 posting milestone at SS."

[mapuc]

Jan. 1 2025

The step towards one world currency to one step further when the new currency is on the market. AS now we have only three currency

Dollar
Euro
And the third(can't say what name it would be called)

April 27th 2034

Today the citizen in the new Europe shall make the first decision on who they want to be the EU's first president. They shall also choice who they want to sit in the new Senat and Congress.

Markus

[Jimbuna]

The first female Pope is elected.

[Oberon]

The first female Pope is elected.

In the woods, by a bear.

[Feld Grau]

2108: Chicago Cubs accept 200 year World Series drought milestone

[GoldenRivet]

6,000th consecutive annual middle east peace conference closes without a resolution

[Spoon 11th]

The number of permanently unemployed people around the globe has risen so high that the World Government has agreed with the International Cricket Council to raise the number of players per side to 13611 on all council regulated games.

[AVGWarhawk]

"Aliens Discovered in the Great Marianas Trench"

[BossMark]

A politician actually tells the truth :88)

[Oberon]

A politician actually tells the truth :88)

The Aliens in the Marianas trench was more plausible than that. :O:

[Jimbuna]

The 2099 SubSim Meet will be held on the planet Mars.

[Oberon]

President Schwarzenegger declares war on 'the machines'; invades the internet.

[GT182]

2057 Aliens from space show themselves for the first time. World leaders ask them what they think of Earth... Their answer, "We populated Earth 100,000 years ago and you've made a royal mess of it. You are all scrod, and we are leaving never to return."
[Scrod is the past tence of screwed]

[BossMark]

STEEDS and BossMarks Revolution party storm to power in 2020 :D

[AVGWarhawk]

"Al Gore Clears the Air. Carbon Tax Refunds "

[Jimbuna]

Kim Jong Un is the newly elected President of the United Nations.

[flatsixes]

Apple's Patent on "God" Upheld by SCOTUS in 5-4 Ruling

[Spoon 11th]

Reshaping earth into cube was mistake.

[GT182]

Kim Jong Un is the newly elected President of the United Nations.

God help us all! We'd really be scrod. Actually God would probably abandon us all.

Shame on you Jim for that thought. :nope:

[Buddahaid]

Jan. 1 2025

The step towards one world currency to one step further when the new currency is on the market. AS now we have only three currency

Dollar
Euro
And the third(can't say what name it would be called)

April 27th 2034

Today the citizen in the new Europe shall make the first decision on who they want to be the EU's first president. They shall also choice who they want to sit in the new Senat and Congress.

Markus

Yuan

[Tribesman]

Jan 1 2126. UN is secretly planning to take away our gunz.:wah:

[Red October1984]

June 24 2014

Second American Civil War ends with over 5 million dead

[Jimbuna]

The Torys win the 2015 election.

[AVGWarhawk]

"World Food Shortage Solved. Beano Making Gains On the Markets"

[Cybermat47]

Second Trojan war begins.

[Jimbuna]

Jimbuna wins the world lottery.

[Red October1984]

Red October1984 sues Jimbuna for lottery fraud

[Kptlt. Neuerburg]

2075 Personal time machines invented.
2075 and a half, Personal time machines destoryed because too many people messed up the past.
3130 Climate change causes ocean levels to rise rapidly, submarines are sold as homes of the future.
3150 Climate change causes the world to enter a new ice age, a new world war erupts over resources, food, water, and land.

[u crank]

June 4 2057 the Aliens arrive.

June 11 2057 the Aliens leave. In a hurry. Without saying goodbye.

[mapuc]

July 16, 2042
It has now been about 3 years since the last shot was fired, in the bloody civil wars that have rolled through the Arab countries in the famous Arab Spring.

All the new leaders of the Muslim countries in North Africa, the Middle East and some of the previous Islamic states of the former Soviet gather for a large summit in Riyadh.

December 5, 2042

After several months of negotiations, they have now come to a common text.

1. All the Islamic countries in North Africa, the Middle East and the former Soviet Union, becomes a country. The capital is Riyadh and the spirits capital is Mecca

2. Common foreign policy, common military, common currency. with its own domestic politics

3. Each of these countries get a certain autonomy

[TarJak]

15 September 2013
Labor crushed in electoral landslide

[Sailor Steve]

2021: GT182 figures out what "humor" means.

[mapuc]

1th april 99999

The man has now figured out how to why women are the way they are

[Sailor Steve]

2nd April 99999.

Women are secretly laughing at the men who wrote that.

[Red October1984]

January 31st 20never

General Topics becomes civil and organized

[mapuc]

January 31st 20never

General Topics becomes civil and organized

This is a thread about what you think could be the headlines in a future not so far away, not a who tells the best fairytale

Markus

[Red October1984]

This is a thread about what you think could be the headlines in a future not so far away, not a who tells the best fairytale

March 29th 2013

Red October1984 tells the best fairytale

[Eisenwurst]

"Easter Bilby promoters get 10 years hard labour for extreme political correctness".:woot:

[Oberon]

Flood of hungry North Korean citizens devour South Korea alive.

[Eisenwurst]

The year 2050.

"Pope Bernard orders Sistine Chapel ceiling whitewashed. Claims 'All those naked cherubs were giving me a massive boner.' "

[Red October1984]

November 2025

Last female dies in China; now 100% male population

[Feuer Frei!]

Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

[BossMark]

The Torys win the 2015 election.
Now that would be a nightmare headline :wah:

[Aramike]

March 2025: Scientists Now Say Global Climate Steadying

Parents mystified, children frightened at odds of average summer.

[Jimbuna]

June 2045

Mexico and Texas merge with one another to form a new American state: Texico.

[Red October1984]

August 10 2013

Justin Bieber dies in car wreck with Nicholas Cage

[BossMark]

March 31st 2013

Justin Bieber dies in car wreck
Sorted it :yep:

[Red October1984]

Sorted it :yep:

I wanted it to be on my birthday...

[Kaye T. Bai]

On a serious note, these are pretty cool:

http://www.newsoffuture.com/

http://wiki.alternatehistory.com/doku.php/timelines/future/a_revised_history_of_the_future/mastertimeline

[BossMark]

I wanted it to be on my birthday...
OK and yes it would be a nice birthday present :haha:

[Red October1984]

June 28 2013

Zombie Apocalypse!

[Platapus]

I used to enjoy the news of the future segment on the old Laugh In program. :D

[Jimbuna]

2099....human race to split into two species.

[Eisenwurst]

Here's one from a recent movie:-
2018.
"The Surgeon-General has determined that everything causes Cancer."
........
2014.
"Feminist educators force gov't to introduce Herstory curriculum."

2015.
"Hollywood celebrity gives child normal name."

2028.
"Olympics held in Bermuda, everyone disappears."

[August]

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative

:o

<--------- Location!

[mapuc]

September 4th 2047 Subsim forum enters the guinness world records for being the forum that have been online for 40 years.

No other forum have ever made it so far.

Markus

[Red October1984]

January 1st, 3000

Subsim.com has the longest known "Last One To Post" thread.

[Herr-Berbunch]

September 4th 2047 Subsim forum enters the guinness world records for being the forum that have been online for 40 years.

No other forum have ever made it so far.

Markus

You may want to check your dates!

[mapuc]

You may want to check your dates!

Wasn't it 1997? The date? I can't remember the exact day
ok now I see it. If subsim started in -97
it must be 50 years and not 40 years

Markus

[Red October1984]

Wasn't it 1997? The date? I can't remember the exact day
ok now I see it. If subsim started in -97
it must be 50 years and not 40 years

Well this year was 16 years...

You could just go to the History Of Subsim page...

[STEED]

Second Big Bang to wipe out all life on Earth, scientist's have warned.

[Jimbuna]

UKIP win the 2015 general election.

[STEED]

UKIP win the 2015 general election.


BossMark defects to UKIP. :o








Homer Simpson voted first American cartoon president. :cool: :DL

[Gerald]

STEED donate money to political charity :O:

[STEED]

STEED takes legal action against the post above.

[Gerald]

^:haha:

[Red October1984]

STEED loses case and gets sentenced to a FEMA Work Camp

[STEED]

STEED appeals against this decision and wins a land mark case, he can never be taken to court ever again. This decision is final and can not be over turned, BossMark becomes STEED's hit man and also is above the law. :DL :haha:

[BossMark]

STEED appeals against this decision and wins a land mark case, he can never be taken to court ever again. This decision is final and can not be over turned, BossMark becomes STEED's hit man and also is above the law. :DL :haha:
And I work cheap and if its a Tory I'll do it for free :haha:

[Sailor Steve]

2017: Steed keeps loudly proclaiming that he is above the law. The men in the white coats give him another injection and close the padded door.

[Jimbuna]

STEED and BossMark live happily ever after.

[STEED]

Sailor Steve declared barking mad after caught sniffing ground coffee beans. :O:

[STEED]

STEED and BossMark live happily ever after.


After assignation of all Toffs, Bankers and Tory scum.

[Red October1984]

May 15, 2013

STEED, BossMark, and Sailor Steve wake up from their coma and tell Subsim how the dreamed of being above the law and crazy.

[STEED]

STEED, BossMark, and Sailor Steve take over the world. :D

[Jimbuna]

STEED, BossMark, and Sailor Steve take over the world. :D

Then pronounce Jimbuna as the eternal ruler.

[STEED]

:har::har:

[BossMark]

2018 Welcome to the new world see STEED or BossMark if you wish apply (toffs need not bother)

[Jimbuna]

2015: STEED and BossMark enter into a civil partnership then immediately change their names via deed poll to William Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzwilliam.

[STEED]

Jimbo caught shagging Tony Blairs wife.

[Red October1984]

World Explodes Because of Overloaded Arguments Over Who Has Power

March 3rd, 2016

[Sailor Steve]

May 15, 2013

STEED, BossMark, and Sailor Steve wake up from their coma and tell Subsim how the dreamed of being above the law and crazy.
Sailor Steve already knows he's crazy, has no delusions about being above the law, and will remain happily in his coma, thank you very much. :O:

[Sailor Steve]

Jimbo caught shagging Tony Blairs wife.
I think you need to apologize to Jim. Even he has some standards. :O:
:rotfl2:

[Jimbuna]

http://img175.imageshack.us/img175/5015/cherieqcpafionahanson30ir9.jpg
Oh I'm not all that sure...kinky wig and all that :hmmm:

[STEED]

Health warning issued on 4D Movies - They can give you a very itchy butt crack.

[TLAM Strike]

April 3rd 2063

Authorities search for Montana man in connection with theft of Antimatter shipment.

[Jimbuna]

2015...Don't wish too much because the genie is now redundant.

[Platapus]

5 May 2075

Platapus finally finishes his dissertation

(grumble)

:D