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View Full Version : Curse You Item Six!!


Madox58
01-23-13, 05:24 PM
I spent my b-day quite content by sipping Beers and a little Apple Pie.
It was a great day infact.
What with lerking threads at SubSim, being home from the road, chatting with a few friends on FaceBook, and with Nancy.

But We all know that no great day goes unpunished!

Especially if your married or have that someone special your trying to domesticate.

You see? The ONLY reason they treat you so special is because there is ALWAYS the next day!
The next day ALWAYS has the Honey-Do list whipped out with a florish and sly smile.
Maybe even an evil laugh comes with your Honey-Do list. Mine comes with a small chuckle that I suspect is a masked evil laugh.
Or maybe I no longer rate a full evil laugh. Thus the small chuckle denoteing that fact?
:hmm2:

As manly as I could I attacked the first thing on the list.

I called the Guy I bought our fridge from and asked if the part I ordered was in.
All I heard was 'back-order' as my mind now clicked off item one on the list.
:up:

'This is gonna be easy' the Spanish voice in my head told me through the other voice that speaks many languages.
(None of them have a job by the way! Danged Freeloaders!)

Item two - five went pretty much the same. Parts on order or simple fixes.
:D

Item six. Look at Hoover shampoo machine, it don't spray.
This should be another easy fix the voices told be as they sat sipping on my Beer.
'Clean the nozzles.'

An hour later?
It don't spray.
:hmm2:

'Disassemble and clean everything!' The Gang yelled.
Two hours later?
It don't spray.
:shifty:

Disassemble and sit stareing at the parts. Not a peep from the Freeloaders now.
Three hours later?
It don't spray cause it is laying in little pieces everywhere and my day is officially messed up!
:stare:

I go into full Reverse Engineering mode.
Four hours later?
I spot the problem and come up with a solution. I'll just order that broken part on-line!
:rock:

Now there are little bitty plastic tabs (who ever would have guessed?) inside this part which is the upper handle guard.
http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n12/privateer_2006/cover_1.jpg

It holds this part which is the control lever.
http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n12/privateer_2006/control_lever_1.jpg

I need a new upper handle guard, or UHG, so the control lever's, or CL's, pivot arms lock in thier proper, yet under designed plastic place.

Simple!

If you want to wait 30 days before it would ship.
If you can even find one that is not on back order.
If your not married.
If your Wife is not standing over your shoulder waiting for you to fix the damned thing already!
:doh:

I instantly formulate a plan to fix this Hoover machine and screw Hoover out of a $30 dollar part when all I needed was a $4 dollar part.
(See. If I want to order the whole upper assembly with the UHG, I can. But the UGH is not available seperate right now. I suspect it's a better way to make money selling the whole shibang rather then just the part that actually sucks?)
:hmmm:

Now I keep alot of tools, parts, and what Nancy refers to as 'your junk' in the general area of our home.
That means I know it's here, on the property. Just not exactly where on the property it might be. Let alone what state it may be in.
:huh:

I have a stainless steel rod just the perfect size,
I have the tools to cut, drill, and grind the parts.
I have some good epoxy to glue things.
I have no idea where all this stuff is at.
I feel a headache coming on.
I am now forced to get dressed and start a search.
:-?

Five hours later?
I now know where everything I own is at! At lest until I need any of it, at which point my mind will be blank.
Don't complain to me. That's just how it works and you know it.
:haha:

I found my utility knife in the truck. It's always with me so that was easy.
The rod was in my workshop, or as Nancy calls it, the messy side of the basement.
Drill? Right there in my Demo gear. Under the Sawz all.
Dremel? Back room, freezer top, cardboard box, behind the dead MotorCycle batteries.
Dremel case with bits and such? Workshop, workbench lower shelve, under disassembled laser machine and fog machine parts.
Grinder with cut off wheel? Demo Gear. On top of Sawz all.
Epoxy? Computer room. WTH?
Small Drill bit? Houston We have a problem.
:nope:

Six hours later?
Dug out the bench top grinder from the shed and moved to workshop. Slip down steps on the way bruiseing tail bone area.
Found broken drill bit of close enuff size and started sharpening it.
Placed bandages in proper areas after grinder flung broken bit at me, multipule times, at near supersonic speeds.
:/\\!!

Joined drinking games with Voices in head.
:woot:

Now at seven hours?
I have success with no more bloodshed nor have I murdered anyone!
(That was the hard part!)
I didn't take pictures but here's the result.
http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n12/privateer_2006/Fixed_UGH-1.jpg

And the inside view.
http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n12/privateer_2006/Fixed_UGH-2.jpg

I cut off the pivot arms of the CL. Those were then drilled and fitted with the stainless steel rod.
I drilled the UHG to line up on the location the pivot arms rest in.
After a bit of grinding I slipped the rod into place and added the epoxy to hold everything.
Should the epoxy fail to hold things in place? I'll fall back to plan B.

Duct Tape.

Can't wait for Item seven on the Honey-Do list.
:har:

TarJak
01-23-13, 08:56 PM
You knew there would be a price to pay for having a birthday dincha?:har:

Red October1984
01-23-13, 11:07 PM
Hahahahahahahahahaha! No good day goes unpunished. I like that one!

Don't I know it....

I am the human embodiment of bad luck. Look up "Story of My Life" by Smash Mouth on youtube and you know what it is like to be me.

It sucks but you gotta get thr.....Dangit...another to-do list! Haha! :D

I bet it was Bernard....or maybe it was Dowly since you drank all the beer.

Penguin
01-24-13, 09:54 AM
It was a great day infact.

:haha:
Yeh, the day infacts are much nicer than those at night!

http://gifsoup.com/imager.php?id=146317&t=o


So did you have to revert to plan b? :D

Sledgehammer427
01-24-13, 01:58 PM
I'm still curious how one "sips" an apple pie! :O:

Madox58
01-24-13, 02:11 PM
I'm still curious how one "sips" an apple pie! :O:
One starts with some Moonshine.
:03:
http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n12/privateer_2006/Apple-Pie.jpg



@Penguin,

Plan B not needed. It's all assembled and works good as new.
:D

http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n12/privateer_2006/Hoover-fixed.jpg

Armistead
01-24-13, 02:13 PM
Being your BD, hopefully you got your yearly....er, well, you know....:D

TarJak
01-24-13, 02:37 PM
Being your BD, hopefully you got your yearly....er, well, you know....:D

Cake? It's a lie.:woot:

Jimbuna
01-24-13, 04:12 PM
Being your BD, hopefully you got your yearly....er, well, you know....:D

He did....he got his apple pie :)

GT182
01-25-13, 12:43 PM
All well and fine Privateer, as you "say" it's fixed. But we only see it sitting there doing nuthing. Could still be broken. Get the 'Warden' to take pictures you can show us of you operating it.... with out the Apple Pie. ;) :haha:

Jimbuna
01-25-13, 02:52 PM
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-q1DcjAv2JJs/T9sgQKP1ieI/AAAAAAAAAP8/2StQFYABDLc/s1600/fred.jpg (http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=queen+i+want+to+break+free&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&docid=KW95aapiyswxqM&tbnid=OSLR0UNH2w1xuM:&ved=0CAUQjRw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhewillblogyou.blogspot.com%2F2012 %2F06%2Fthey-all-want-to-break-free.html&ei=Y-ICUabSEIOV0QW37oDoBw&bvm=bv.41524429,d.d2k&psig=AFQjCNHQU6BRL5rpKmc9l4WgMhAWq6ZbfA&ust=1359229923645093)

Madox58
01-25-13, 03:29 PM
That is just sooo not right!
:har:

Jimbuna
01-25-13, 04:42 PM
That is just sooo not right!
:har:

Yes I thought you'd have put on something a little more conservative for the photo shoot :)

Sailor Steve
01-25-13, 04:45 PM
:rotfl2: :rock:

Jimbuna
01-25-13, 04:49 PM
:rotfl2: :rock:

Behave yersel you dirty old subsimer you http://img824.imageshack.us/img824/8586/smacka1.gif


http://img221.imageshack.us/img221/4030/winkbigid2zj6.gif

Sailor Steve
01-25-13, 04:52 PM
Well! That's the last time I agree with you. :O: