vienna
12-16-12, 03:20 PM
Today, December 16, 2012, I have officially, in the eyes of the government, become a senior citizen. I don't know what I have done to deserve such an honor, being a very modest person by nature (although I will gladly detail my great modesty and humility upon request). It seems if one does not go out of one's way to get hit by a bus, contract a deadly disease, or attempt to tell one's spouse "Yes, you do look fat in that dress", one can obtain the lofty title of senior citizen...
Here, in the U.S., the age of 62 is the general, and, in some cases, legal, demarcation point between vibrant, youthful life and museum exhibit. There are upsides: a wealth of discounts suddenly become available; the government declares you eligible for a share in the money they have graciously held on to for you over the many years you were actually relevant; priority seating becomes available to you on public transportation; the subject of junk emails changes from enhancement to preservation; one can now loiter in parks and be thought of as that old fellow feeding the pigeons and not be mistaken for a drug dealer, gang member, or other undesirable element. The idea of feeding pigeons appeals to me; I just haven't yet decided to what I will feed the pigeons...
Some years ago, I was called "mister" and "sir" by a child for the first time, an event which made me want to go find a rocking chair and ponder the wisdom in my not having fathered children. Now I can embrace the honorifics of the well-intentioned, but benighted, youngsters, and continue to ponder my wisdom...
Although I am now "old", I wish to clarify some mistaken ideas and perceptions:
It is not true, when I was a child, the Big Bang was merely a "loud pop";
It is not true my birth certificate is a series of petroglpyhs on a cave wall in Northern California;
It is not true, when I was young, my neighbors down the block were Fred & Wilma and Barney & Betty;
It is not true, when I was young, Original Sin was still in "Beta Test Stage";
It is not true, when I was young, we didn’t have the Ten Commandments, but, rather, "a couple of strong suggestions";
It is not true I remember when Jack Benny was really 39 years old (the younger among you may Google that, if you wish);
It is not true when we had rock music, it involved real rocks;
...
Finally, I wish to say I do not intend to "go gently into that good night". There are many, many people I have yet to annoy or tick off (cleaned that up for the moderators) and there are many, many things I have yet to learn, see, and do. My best advice to the world is to keep looking over your shoulder: I may be behind you armed with a wealth of years of devious experience you younger ones do not have and may never have. And, when the power goes out and your electronic gadgets fail, remember, I'm the one of those who knows how to live without Twitter, Facebook, and iPhones…
I leave you with these two songs (with lyrics):
“My Back Pages” (written by Bob Dylan and sung by “The Byrds”):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FUGzwUTN80
“Going Back” (“The Byrds” also did a version of this song; this version is by Dusty Springfield):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvWiiUgT8Nk
Oh, by the way, to day is also Ludwig von Beethoven's birthday. If there is anyone's life and talent I envy, it is his life.
And, if Beethhoven were alive today,...
...he would be very, very, very old...
...and I think he would know to what one should feed the pigeons...
<O>
Here, in the U.S., the age of 62 is the general, and, in some cases, legal, demarcation point between vibrant, youthful life and museum exhibit. There are upsides: a wealth of discounts suddenly become available; the government declares you eligible for a share in the money they have graciously held on to for you over the many years you were actually relevant; priority seating becomes available to you on public transportation; the subject of junk emails changes from enhancement to preservation; one can now loiter in parks and be thought of as that old fellow feeding the pigeons and not be mistaken for a drug dealer, gang member, or other undesirable element. The idea of feeding pigeons appeals to me; I just haven't yet decided to what I will feed the pigeons...
Some years ago, I was called "mister" and "sir" by a child for the first time, an event which made me want to go find a rocking chair and ponder the wisdom in my not having fathered children. Now I can embrace the honorifics of the well-intentioned, but benighted, youngsters, and continue to ponder my wisdom...
Although I am now "old", I wish to clarify some mistaken ideas and perceptions:
It is not true, when I was a child, the Big Bang was merely a "loud pop";
It is not true my birth certificate is a series of petroglpyhs on a cave wall in Northern California;
It is not true, when I was young, my neighbors down the block were Fred & Wilma and Barney & Betty;
It is not true, when I was young, Original Sin was still in "Beta Test Stage";
It is not true, when I was young, we didn’t have the Ten Commandments, but, rather, "a couple of strong suggestions";
It is not true I remember when Jack Benny was really 39 years old (the younger among you may Google that, if you wish);
It is not true when we had rock music, it involved real rocks;
...
Finally, I wish to say I do not intend to "go gently into that good night". There are many, many people I have yet to annoy or tick off (cleaned that up for the moderators) and there are many, many things I have yet to learn, see, and do. My best advice to the world is to keep looking over your shoulder: I may be behind you armed with a wealth of years of devious experience you younger ones do not have and may never have. And, when the power goes out and your electronic gadgets fail, remember, I'm the one of those who knows how to live without Twitter, Facebook, and iPhones…
I leave you with these two songs (with lyrics):
“My Back Pages” (written by Bob Dylan and sung by “The Byrds”):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FUGzwUTN80
“Going Back” (“The Byrds” also did a version of this song; this version is by Dusty Springfield):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvWiiUgT8Nk
Oh, by the way, to day is also Ludwig von Beethoven's birthday. If there is anyone's life and talent I envy, it is his life.
And, if Beethhoven were alive today,...
...he would be very, very, very old...
...and I think he would know to what one should feed the pigeons...
<O>