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View Full Version : Welp. I am the worst Kaleun.


rossmum
11-10-12, 02:48 AM
Hello everybody! First post here, it's something I felt had to be shared. I would kill for screenshots or video of the event, but SH3 hasn't been playing nice with Fraps of late, so you'll have to take my word for it. I've had the game on Steam for some time but only recently got around to installing and playing it, and am completely hooked so far.

So, story time:

I am four (technically five according to the game, but that was due to a pitstop) patrols into my first campaign, in a 1st Flotilla Type II. My first patrol was pretty ordinary, since it was still peacetime. My second patrol began just before the war did and was basically one long storm. I couldn't have sunk anything even if I wanted to. Third saw me ordered to interdict shipping at Le Havre, gee thanks BdU. I got to a point just NNW of Dunkirk and spotted a French cargo ship of decent tonnage, but four of my five torpedoes were duds. The fifth was just badly-aimed, but the rest all looked like they would've been good hits. He evidently called for help, because before I knew what had hit me I was being chased by a ship.

I thought it was a gunboat so I crash dived and planned to just slink away. Unfortunately there was a very sudden change in depth (from 15m under keel to OH GOD WHAT IS THAT SCRAPING NOISE) and I was damaged a bit. I repaired it, popped up to periscope depth, turned the scope 180 and found myself staring at the bow of a destroyer so close it was filling the scope. I crash dived but the attack scope was rammed off and the conning tower badly damaged, we were then depth charged and our crash dive was augmented by all the seawater pouring into our new ballast tanks (also known as "the diesel engine room" and "the command room"). We hit the bottom at 37m and were bombed again while the damage control team frantically worked. By some miracle, we got the leaks stopped, the water out, the boat off the bottom, and the destroyer confused. It continued to search behind us, and we eventually slipped away and headed home for Kiel.

So now we have my current patrol.

This time, I am told to report weather in sector AN between the 3rd-6th of October. Okay, that sounds easy. My assigned grid is AN44. Intel says there is a convoy just north and a task force to the west of the Orkneys, but intel also tells me with alarming regularity that there are icebergs floating up the Thames and also in the Aegean Sea, so I don't take too much confidence in it.

I patrol around for a while. The weather is perfect until the morning of the 7th. After a few days of terrible seas and no traffic, I decide to go recce Scapa Flow. I figure it's a bad idea but hey, why not?

11:00 on the 10th I am just off the eastern approaches. I spot a destroyer, quickly identify it as a V&W, and stupidly take three shots at it thinking that I'll just bag something, anything, and run home. All three shots miss astern because I am terrible at firing solutions. After a few moments of terror, the destroyer continues on its merry way, apparently unperturbed. It begins searching around behind me. I count my blessings and continue, slipping by another V&W an hour and a half later. This time I don't shoot.

I need to pick my approach at this point, and go with the southernmost of the two eastern passages, since the northern one would force me past the destroyers at a distance I am not comfortable with. Things go fine until 14:00 when I discover the British have blocked this passage with wrecks. I spend the next half hour (I am crawling along underwater at 2kts on silent running) wringing my hands over what to do, and finally decide it's worth a shot. Using the periscope I steer the boat through what appears to be a workable gap. I get through with about 3-5 metres of clearance either side, and continue on ahead.

An hour later at 15:34 I spot a small vessel, a coal tender. I swing around it and continue, soon after this I spot another V&W, this one with its bow under the waves and its stern lifted high out of the water. I have no idea, I guess it bugged out somehow, it wouldn't be the first time I've seen this happen.

By 20:00 I am sitting 2,800m off the Royal Oak, 90 degrees to its starboard side. 'Haha, time to beat Prien by 4 days, and in a coastal boat!' I think to myself, blissfully unaware that I accidentally stuffed up my firing solution. Both of my remaining torpedoes miss by 1/3 her length off the bow. Soul-crushing disappointment takes over from tension as I turn the boat around and plot a course out of the southern passage...

...Only to hear an explosion four minutes later, and my hydrophone operator telling me he hears a ship breaking up. :huh:

Intel said there was a tanker about 2-3km beyond the Royal Oak on the same general bearing I fired at; did I hit that? I normally wouldn't use the external camera for evil like this, but I have to know: what did I hit?

I get towards the tanker and see smoke. I get a bit closer before realising the smoke is not coming from the tanker, but from a chunk of metal between myself and it.

It's a destroyer.

It must've been anchored right beside the tanker, because the torpedo slammed into the middle of it and broke her keel. The tanker was untouched, I guess the 1 degree spread angle was enough to make it miss by a long way at that distance.

I am now about halfway to the southern approaches and I will be damned if any British ship will catch me. You win this time, Prien, but at least I finally have my revenge on those infernal destroyers.

edit: Escaped Scapa Flow unharmed via the south entrance. Had a close encounter with something underwater but surmised it to be a sub net, surfaced and floated past, sure enough I got out okay. Home to Kiel!

VONHARRIS
11-10-12, 03:49 AM
Welcome aboard Herr Kaleun.:salute:

Consider yourself lucky just for making it out of there alive.:up:

u crank
11-10-12, 06:31 AM
Welcome to SUBSIM rossmum. :salute:

Fun isn't it. :yep:

rossmum
11-10-12, 07:56 AM
I'm not sure which is worse... the early-war torpedo pistols, or my aim. BdU is sending me to the channel again so I fully expect this career to be over shortly.

At least I seem sort of okay at avoiding destroyers, so that's something, I guess.

Sailor Steve
11-10-12, 09:43 AM
WELCOME ABOARD! :sunny:

That's the beauty of a game - you can learn from your mistakes (including death) and go do it again. You may consider yourself one of the worst, but we've all been there, some of us more than others. :dead:

Laufen zum Ziel
11-10-12, 02:48 PM
WELCOME ABOARD! :sunny:

That's the beauty of a game - you can learn from your mistakes (including death) and go do it again. You may consider yourself one of the worst, but we've all been there, some of us more than others. :dead:

I am one of the more. Most memorable was having a good shot at a single destroyer. What I did not realize was she was the lead of a large task force with three other destroyers. Need I say more:wah:

Dive! Dive! Dive!
11-10-12, 02:52 PM
:har::har:Ah, Scapa Flow. Shopping centre for some, graveyard for others. Went once in a Type-II, found no big ships but sank a merchant and left.

Had more luck in the Firth of Forth.

But nice tale all round.

Gargamel
11-10-12, 05:23 PM
Two points:

1) You missed a stationary target? While you were stationary? :hmmm:


2) You aren't the worst, you didn't shoot yourself with your own torpedo. Don't ask who did.

Red October1984
11-11-12, 12:07 AM
You aren't the worst, you didn't shoot yourself with your own torpedo. Don't ask who did.

I'm gonna try that. Just for fun.

rossmum
11-11-12, 12:38 AM
1) You missed a stationary target? While you were stationary? :hmmm:
Yes. :oops:

My excuse is that I was tired and I'd messed with something on the TDC earlier which I must have forgotten to reset. I realised as soon as I fired that the gyro angle was too much by about 6 degrees and went into panic mode.

Anyway, that career got ended last night, so onwards and upwards - no, rather downwards - I guess. I had a run-in with a very persistent ASW trawler and lost my engines, even though I could float the sub. I then had to do battle with it on the surface and somehow lucked out with the flak gun, but while I was trying to figure out if it would be too cheaty to take SH3gen's "KM surface vessels in your area" intel report and turn it into "KM surface vessels towed you back to base out of pity" a gunboat rolled up on me out of nowhere.

...I think I need to do a little more training in single missions before I start a new career.

Sailor Steve
11-11-12, 02:31 AM
Yes. :oops:
Don't be embarrassed. I once shelled a freighter from only 200 meters away. When it exploded it killed me and three of the Kriegsmarine's best instructors. You see, this was during the gunnery school at the Academy.

rossmum
11-11-12, 11:13 PM
Actually had a successful patrol (albeit off the back of a botched single mission) last night. The convoy I was meant to be hunting had some very determined destroyers with it and was heading towards the Orkney gap, dragging me towards even more destroyers, so I decided I had better plans and began to head south down the coast. First thing I came across was a little sailing boat, British flagged. Don't mind if I do test the 20mm, thanks!

Next encounter was a tramp steamer. I recently installed Hitman's GUI on the glowing recommendation of a friend and while I quite like it, I have very little idea how to do firing solutions with it even after RTFM-ing. I just eyeballed the shot and slammed an eel right into the middle of the ship beneath the waterline, which set it on fire and slowed it right down. I shadowed it for a bit but it didn't sink, in fact it turned towards me, so I put another underneath it on a magnetic pistol. It blew up right under it and cracked the keel, which was immensely satisfying even though it was a tiny ship really.

Heading further south I spotted a fishing trawler at the eastern end of the deep basin off Hartlepool. I sunk it with the FlaK again, then headed into Hartlepool itself. Spotted two medium cargoes in port, one broadside and one moored with its bow to me, so I blasted two eels on impact pistols at the first and one on a magnetic pistol on the second. The first two ran true and blew up against it just above the keel and spaced quite well along the ship, it began flooding evenly (though very slowly). The other torpedo missed completely, not sure why but not that it mattered because I realised there was a net blocking its intended course anyway.

I got back out of Hartlepool safely and was heading to Wilhelmshaven when I found a passenger/cargo right in front of me. I figured I'd harass it with the FlaK and see if I could at least disable it by shooting up the superstructure and cargo. I think the cargo may have been something explosive, since the ship exploded violently and sank with all decks ablaze after a few magazines of 20mm.

Got back to Wilhelmshaven unmolested with 5 ships sunk for 10,000 GRT, all in a little Type IIA. :rock: