This made me chuckle.

[JU_88]

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

BANKER (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You borrow lots of Euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds, dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you
want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad so you incincerate them.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none. No one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

[kiwi_2005]

:rotfl2:

[BossMark]

:har::har:
Bloody marvellous

[Sammi79]

BANKER (VENTURE) CAPITALISM

...The public then buys your bull.

:har:

It's funny because it's true. Or maybe it's not actually funny, just ludicrous. True none the less.

[Reece]

:agree:

[Catfish]

So true :rotfl2:

With the exception

"AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead."

This is capitalism as we have it now. Trying to compete while paying paying and paying other's debts and to be able to finance our politicioans and company owner's palaces, german corporations and government fire their workers, and the rest left has to work 48 hours a day, while 50 percent have no job anymore.
No i do not mean this "in a funny way". :shifty:

[Penguin]

:haha:
a very funny extension of the cow-isms!



So true :rotfl2:

With the exception

"AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead."

This is capitalism as we have it now. Trying to compete while paying paying and paying other's debts and to be able to finance our politicioans and company owner's palaces, german corporations and government fire their workers, and the rest left has to work 48 hours a day, while 50 percent have no job anymore.
No i do not mean this "in a funny way". :shifty:

Add banker capitalism to the mix and it fits. For Germany we can also add a nice dose of bureaucratism.

Don't forget the "financial experts" who tell you their expert opinion - but never tell you why all their predictions from the past have been less true than tarot or asking an octopus.
The same "professionals" who never saw the current financial "crisis" coming, tell us now their sollutions and our fine politicians listen to their advise... :damn:
"Wirtschaftsweise" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/German_Council_of_Economic_Experts) :har:

[JU_88]

Imo, What we (the West) have now is a mix of Banker & Traditional and Socialism. :doh:
Socialism of some sort is pretty much unvoidable when you endlessly expand Government. The U.S goverment expands like its McDonalds on steroids. But unlike McDonalds, it funds its over expansion with over borrowing.
Bank bail outs are effectively socialsim too, or maybe they are just corruption, whatever they are, they're NOT capitalism what so ever!
Perhaps its 'Socialism to Save Capitalism' as Ron Paul so nicley put it a while back.
The Constitution preaches small government, but as we all know the 'Republicrats' have about as much regard for the Consititution as Mikhail Gorbachev.

As for the Banks....

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m69pelmdFq1r3s5n0o1_1280.jpg

Its ironic that Anarchists hate Banks so much when Banks are probably the most successful Anarchists in the world. They can pretty much do what the hell they please knowing that nobody is going to stop them. The Debt Crisis is pretty much a result of Bankers trashing their own system.
The only reason bankers are not convicted criminals, is because they operate outside of the law.

[kraznyi_oktjabr]

:har:

This one is missing:

A FINNISH COMPANY
You have two cows.
You are "responsible" and "solidar" so you give one to Greece and one to Spain... or maybe Italy... :hmmm:

[JU_88]

:har:

This one is missing:

A FINNISH COMPANY
You have two cows.
You are "responsible" and "solidar" so you give one to Greece and one to Spain... or Italy or whoever.

You'd better get a third one to give to Spain :)
Although Im tempted, I will let Skybird do the "GERMAN COMPANY"

[Sailor Steve]

No i do not mean this "in a funny way". :shifty:
Which is too bad because it was a funny thread up to that point. If you can't laugh at yourself you have no business laughing at anybody else. :O:

[Catfish]

Which is too bad because it was a funny thread up to that point. If you can't laugh at yourself you have no business laughing at anybody else. :O:

But but but it is so much easier to laugh at others :oops:
(Is Schadenfreude = gloating, b.t.w.? :O:)

[nikimcbee]

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.



Then complains they don't have enough milk.



A Korean Corperation:

You have 2 cows.
You eat one and make the other one produce the milk of three.

A North Korean people's friendship collective:
What's a cow?

[nikimcbee]

Obamunism:
You have 2 cows.
One cow is brown, the other is black and white.
A race war begins on the farm. W is blamed.

[u crank]

CANADIAN COMPANY.

You have two cows.

You give the rights to these two cows away to an American company. They build a pipeline to U.S. and pump their milk south. You buy your milk from a Saudi cow. :har:

[Falkirion]

Haha I had a chuckle. Disagree with the NZ one. Should read sheep instead of cow (sorry Kiwi!)

[JU_88]

Obamunism:
You have 2 cows.
One cow is brown, the other is black and white.
A race war begins on the farm. W is blamed.

Electionism,
You have a white cow and a brown cow, but you can only keep one.
They both make passionate cases full of promises and bold claims as to what would makes them the most exceptional cow.
You choose Brown cow, but you quickly find that he chews his grass and moos just like all the other cows before him - and when you step in his pat, he claims that it was actually a pat left over by the last white cow you owned.

You will do this every four years for the rest of your life and the result will be the same regardless of which colour cow you choose. Eventually you might even realise that both the white and the brown cows are being raised by the same farmer. But you continue to play along anyway in the blind hope that one day, there might be a cow who is actually different.

[nikimcbee]

Electionism,
You have a white cow and a brown cow, but you can only keep one.
They both make passionate cases full of promises and bold claims as to what would makes them the most exceptional cow.
You choose Brown cow, but you quickly find that he chews his grass and moos just like all the other cows before him - and when you step in his pat, he claims that it was actually a pat left over by the last white cow you owned.

You will do this every four years for the rest of your life and the result will be the same regardless of which colour cow you choose. Eventually you might even realise that both the white and the brown cows are being raised by the same farmer. But you continue to play along anyway in the blind hope that one day, there might be a cow who is actually different.

Farmer sells cows and gets sheep.:haha:

[Takeda Shingen]

General Topicsism:

You make a post about cows.
The forum spends the next two days fighting about cows.
The moderators go get Aspirin.

[Stealhead]

Two Subsim moderators step into a bar.....Ah I forgot the rest.