Worst Sub movie ever created.

[Red October1984]

The Syfy movie Sea Snakes (or Silent Venom) almost made my face burn off when I watched it. Nothing about the sub was correct except that it goes underwater. Sheesh. Give it a netflix if you think u can stomach it. The sub looks like a 688, but it's a SSK!! Exact quote from movie "this baby runs pretty quiet on electric motors" and the Chinese dropped a DEPTH CHARGE!?!? One charge, somehow, bangs up a 688 SSK. Then, the Chinese shoot a torp. Well that is a disaster. Ugh. Terrible movie.

[Overkill]

I've not seen that one but I did see this horrible excuse for a sub movie:

http://images.moviepostershop.com/full-fathom-five-movie-poster-1990-1020210349.jpg

The only thing good about it was the paneling they picked out to line the inside of the sub's control room. :doh:
I left the movie theater after about 35 minutes of torture. Fortunately "Men at Work" was playing in the adjacent theater. :up:

[Red October1984]

Ugh. The poster even looks bad.

[S-13]

I love submarines, but I haven't seen enough of them to give an "actual worst" since I'm sure there are ones that deserve the title better to the one I'm going to name, which I'm sure alot of people liked.

With that said, I thought Hunt for Red October was pretty terrible, the whole plot about defecting was bad enough, but the idea of the newest ship in the fleet is given to a Captain who while highly decorated as the movie claims but his loyalty to his country isn't insured especially for a nuclear submarine? and rest of the crew would go along? Let alone the fact supposedly the XO of this ship would be a Political Officer?

It's a decent rambo style cold war action movie, but not my idea of a submarine movie.

[Red October1984]

This is strictly my opinion. But. YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!!! I thought Hunt for Red October was great!! (hence, my username) I fell in love with the book!! It was the first real sub movie I had sat down to watch. I'm a die-hard Clancy fan. It might not be the MOST realistic situation, but it would make sense to give your brand new sub to the man who is the best in the fleet and who has taken out all the new subs in his career. Would you drop me in a fighter plane to protect your country when the only training I've had is flightsims? Or would you go with the Colonel with many flight decorations and kills painted on his aircraft? Just an opinion. No hard feelings S-13. :D

[S-13]

This is strictly my opinion. But. YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!!! I thought Hunt for Red October was great!! (hence, my username) I fell in love with the book!! It was the first real sub movie I had sat down to watch. I'm a die-hard Clancy fan. It might not be the MOST realistic situation, but it would make sense to give your brand new sub to the man who is the best in the fleet and who has taken out all the new subs in his career. Would you drop me in a fighter plane to protect your country when the only training I've had is flightsims? Or would you go with the Colonel with many flight decorations and kills painted on his aircraft? Just an opinion. No hard feelings S-13. :D Non-taken, but regardless of this fantasy submarine commander that is given apparently a new submarine every time a new sub comes out of the factory, doesn't explain why a full crew would give up their families and lives, the hero in my opinion of that novel/book was the Cook. :yep:

[Platapus]

Full Fathom Five.

Hijacked Nuke sub with the target of Houston Texas?

Does the movie have a happy ending??? :D

[Platapus]

Non-taken, but regardless of this fantasy submarine commander that is given apparently a new submarine every time a new sub comes out of the factory, doesn't explain why a full crew would give up their families and lives, the hero in my opinion of that novel/book was the Cook. :yep:


Been a while since I saw the movie, but in the book, it was described how the Captain was handpicking and grooming key officers for this defection. So it was not a random crew deciding to defect. I am not sure the movie made that clear.

[Hinrich Schwab]

Ugh. The poster even looks bad.
Oh yeah. It's horrible. Notice the Typhoon in the poster has Kirov written in Cyrillic on the side? A Kirov is a class of heavy guided missile cruiser. A complete and obvious failure to research. :k_rofl:

[Hinrich Schwab]

...the hero in my opinion of that novel/book was the Cook. :yep:

Not sure if trolling...
:k_confused:

[TLAM Strike]

...the Chinese dropped a DEPTH CHARGE!?!?

The Chinese Navy still uses them on their older destroyers and small combatants. Also their Russian made destroyers can deploy them using the mine laying rails.

[Hinrich Schwab]

The Chinese Navy still uses them on their older destroyers and small combatants. Also their Russian made destroyers can deploy them using the mine laying rails.

If I am not mistaken, many smaller nations that have Soviet/Russian naval vessels and gear still have depth charge laying vessels. I remember reading somewhere that the Cuban Navy (yes, they have one. :D) has patrol craft that have DCs.

[flymar]

Non-taken, but regardless of this fantasy submarine commander that is given apparently a new submarine every time a new sub comes out of the factory, doesn't explain why a full crew would give up their families and lives, the hero in my opinion of that novel/book was the Cook. :yep:
They didn't. Only officers. And the officers were chosen by Ramius. Large part of the plot (in book) was about how to get the crew back to USSR without them knowing about defection.

[TLAM Strike]

Actually the worse submarine movie ever made has to be Agent Red (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0218080/). We are talking MST3K bad.

[Red October1984]

The list goes on..... :nope:


Such a sad thing that people actually watch these movies.

With the exception of Hunt For Red October. That is the only good one discussed in this thread. But the book was a million times better.

[CCIP]

That is the only good one discussed in this thread.

Well, not surprising considering this thread is about the worst movies :D

For every bad sub movie, there does seem to be a good one out there though!

[troopie]

The worst sub flick I can recall is definately 'USS Poseidon - Phantom below'; I don't think I made it through the first half hour (and I actually paid to hire the dvd!), absolute shocker.:down:

[chopsuey]

I think without a doubt the movie "Crash Dive" with Michael Dudikoff was the absolute worst submarine movie ever cut and pasted together. I say cut and pasted because, I could identify at least 4 other submarine movies that they took footage from and edited it together to make this submersible turd. If the cinematography was not bad enough the plot of the movie was more than enough to make one gouge their eyes out. First, a former Navy Seal (Dudikoff) in his off time, single-handedly designs an attack submarine that apparently can also launch ballistic missiles. While on sea trials, of course fully armed with nuclear weapons, the submarine at depth receives a distress call from a life raft on the surface, and following the "law of the sea" the submarine surfaces in roiling seas to rescue the people on the life raft. Of course these "survivors" are actually a handful of terrorist who quickly overtake the entire crew and turn the submarine against the US. Dudikoff, who for some reason, was not present on the submarine during it's sea trials, hops on the next available submarine and quickly locate and sneak up on this "modern marvel" that he has designed. To recapture the sub, Dudikoff exits the trailing submarine and SWIMS at depth to his creation and from the outside, opens the airlock and enters the captured submarine. At this point you would think his navy seal training would take over and the sub would be back in his control in short order, but apparently Dudikoff was the bottom of his "BUD/S" class and after getting his butt kicked by several of the terrorist, he has to enlist the help of the crew to assist him in re-taking the submarine.

[Nagel]

I saw part of one with William H. Macey, In Enemy Hands I believe was the name. couldn't sit through it.
then thre's my all time Favorite disappointment, U-571. that movie has got to rate as THE worst Uboat movie I've ever seen and I'm surprised no one's named it yet.

[Hinrich Schwab]

...
then thre's my all time Favorite disappointment, U-571. that movie has got to rate as THE worst Uboat movie I've ever seen and I'm surprised no one's named it yet.

There is another thread lambasting bad sub flicks and there was a bit of a jag slamming U-571 for the dud that it is. If I had a choice of being stuck with only one MK 14 torpedo at its worst and most defective and this movie, I would take the bad torpedo.

[nikimcbee]

Anything on the syfy channel.

[soopaman2]

I always thought U-571 took the cake.

Jon Bon-Jovi was the highlight of that film, what does that say?

(I dig Jon, but the fact his 2 lines was the best part of the film, ugh!)

[Onkel Neal]

The Syfy movie Sea Snakes (or Silent Venom) almost made my face burn off when I watched it. Nothing about the sub was correct except that it goes underwater. Sheesh. Give it a netflix if you think u can stomach it. The sub looks like a 688, but it's a SSK!! Exact quote from movie "this baby runs pretty quiet on electric motors" and the Chinese dropped a DEPTH CHARGE!?!? One charge, somehow, bangs up a 688 SSK. Then, the Chinese shoot a torp. Well that is a disaster. Ugh. Terrible movie.


Congrats. Your thread just made the news (http://www.subsim.com/index.php) :ping:

[Jeffg]

Has anyone seen Ghost Boat the movie? The book was great not so sure on the movie as it goes from a US Fleetboat in 1943 to a english sub which looks like a german uboat.

JeffG

[Gorduz]

I have to say the worst I've seen is "Time under Fire"

Synopsis:
A US submarine runs into a time rift. A special unit goes on a mission to see what's on the other side. They find themselves in an alternate dystopian America, now a one-man dictatorship. They decide to help the rebels.

yeah...

[BossMark]

Without any doubt what so ever U-571

[CSA FD]

I always thought U-571 took the cake.

Jon Bon-Jovi was the highlight of that film, what does that say?

(I dig Jon, but the fact his 2 lines was the best part of the film, ugh!)

worst one ive seen is "BELOW" with Bruce Greenwood and Olivia Williams, but the best three in my list is:
1. Das Boot--Jürgen Prochnow
2. Enemy Below---Robert Mitchum/Curd Jürgens
3. Crimson Tide---Gene Hackman/Denzel Washington

[Red October1984]

Congrats. Your thread just made the news (http://www.subsim.com/index.php) :ping:

Wow. I posted something worthy of the news wall!! :rock: :rock: :rock:


Thank you. :salute:

[Pyrolosis]

So yeah, probably U-571 is my 1st worst pick followed up by "Grey lady down". Which was a 1970's movie about a ohio class that got rammed by a freighter and sank. "What the hell would a missle boat be doing that close to the surface in open ocean in the 1st place".
I have to totally agree with CSA FA on his hit list of best sub movie's though. I have one question that maybe someone could answer for me. Was Das Boot actually filmed on a U-boat and if it was where was it?

[Ducimus]

Actually the worse submarine movie ever made has to be Agent Red (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0218080/). We are talking MST3K bad.

If it has Dolph Lundgen in it, you know its bad.

[JudoJoe61]

I may be mistaken, but I believe they actually built a fully functioning (or possibly just surface running) U-boat for Das Boot. Along with a scale model for many of the submerged scenes. At least I think that's what I saw in the special features section on my copy.

[Kloef]

The Atomic Submarine:dead:

By far the worst ever made submarine movie of all times..

http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g171/Kloef/220px-Atomic_submarineposter.jpg

[CCIP]

I may be mistaken, but I believe they actually built a fully functioning (or possibly just surface running) U-boat for Das Boot. Along with a scale model for many of the submerged scenes. At least I think that's what I saw in the special features section on my copy.

There was a mockup of the deck and conning tower at La Rochelle, which was mostly used in the port scenes, another conning tower built inside a studio that was used for most of the surface scenes, a full U-boat interior built inside a studio (which is now a museum), and several scale models - which are what you mostly see both in the surfaced and submerged scenes, actually.

Another film was shooting at the same time as Das Boot - Indiana Jones Raiders of the Lost Ark. Lucas convinced Petersen's team to lend the floating deck and conning tower, and it can be seen in that film. In the process of filming, they actually managed to successfully break it and it sank in its dock. The Das Boot crew patched it up just barely enough to float for the final scene, in which it sinks. So if anyone asks, the film's U-96 was actually sunk by Indiana Jones and Steven Spielberg :haha:

edit: from Wikipedia -
The outdoor mock-up was basically a shell propelled with a small engine, and stationed in La Rochelle, France and has a history of its own. One morning the production crew walked out to where they kept it afloat and found it missing. Someone had forgotten to inform the crew that an American filmmaker had rented the mock-up for his own film shooting in the area. This filmmaker was Steven Spielberg and the film he was shooting was Raiders of the Lost Ark. A few weeks later, during production, the mock-up cracked in a storm and sank, was recovered and patched to stand in for the final scenes. The full-sized mock-up was used during the Gibraltar surface scenes; the bomber plane (a Douglas SBD Dauntless dive bomber) and rockets were real while the British ships were models.

[tommo8993]

I remember seeing a b-movie on tv a while ago call akula. The (new) russian submarine that went rouge and a scantly clad nurse who was captured took up arm with her super strong body-builder rescuer and spent 90 minutes killing russians on a near sci-fi sub.... the sub even had windows with light blue water outside....

[soopaman2]

If it has Dolph Lundgen in it, you know its bad.
Hey! You leave Dolph outta this!

The Swedes will riot.

[Blacklight]

What kills me is the fact that 90% of sub movies have the subs going around with their active sonar constantly blaring. Every time there's a scene with them inside the sub, there's ALWAYS that *Ping! Ping! Ping! Ping!*
Yet they still manage to be stealthy somehow. :)

[Red October1984]

What kills me is the fact that 90% of sub movies have the subs going around with their active sonar constantly blaring. Every time there's a scene with them inside the sub, there's ALWAYS that *Ping! Ping! Ping! Ping!*
Yet they still manage to be stealthy somehow. :)

90% of sub movies in the underwater setting has that ping. even just regular movies with subs. Ping-ping-ping...

It makes me want to throw a brick through my TV. :stare:

[soopaman2]

Excellent observation.

But the pinging, and tensed faces, as they stare to the sky, makes for great drama for the movie watching rubes, but makes anyone who knows anything cringe.

You have to remember, we are simmers.

We strive for a game, where you die on your first patrol. We strive for a game to get harder as time passes, not easier as you upgrade past your enemies.

We are realists, and feel slighted when things are not represented properly. (U571? America found the Enigma? lulz)

So barring the subsimmers bible, (Das Boot) there is very few good sub movies.

Alot of us try to compare all sub flicks to that, and it is kinda unfair.:)

[CSA FD]

So yeah, probably U-571 is my 1st worst pick followed up by "Grey lady down". Which was a 1970's movie about a ohio class that got rammed by a freighter and sank. "What the hell would a missle boat be doing that close to the surface in open ocean in the 1st place".
I have to totally agree with CSA FA on his hit list of best sub movie's though. I have one question that maybe someone could answer for me. Was Das Boot actually filmed on a U-boat and if it was where was it?

i actually liked "Grey Lady Down" good cast:
Charlton Heston
Ronny Cox
Stacy Keach
Christopher Reeve

[Cybermat47]

What kills me is the fact that 90% of sub movies have the subs going around with their active sonar constantly blaring. Every time there's a scene with them inside the sub, there's ALWAYS that *Ping! Ping! Ping! Ping!*
Yet they still manage to be stealthy somehow. :)

Yeah I was watching an episode of the British sci-fi series Primeval, and it began with a submarine pinging away so hard that they could have run over that guy from the hunt for red october's daughter's stereo without hearing it! ( the episode then instantly redeems itself by having a genuine sub class in it [Upholder class diesel electric sub] and the line, " Well, I've seen all the movies, y'know, Das Boot and all that...)

[Gargamel]

I love submarines, but I haven't seen enough of them to give an "actual worst" since I'm sure there are ones that deserve the title better to the one I'm going to name, which I'm sure alot of people liked.

With that said, I thought Hunt for Red October was pretty terrible, the whole plot about defecting was bad enough, but the idea of the newest ship in the fleet is given to a Captain who while highly decorated as the movie claims but his loyalty to his country isn't insured especially for a nuclear submarine? and rest of the crew would go along? Let alone the fact supposedly the XO of this ship would be a Political Officer?

It's a decent rambo style cold war action movie, but not my idea of a submarine movie.


Ramius was Lithuanian, not Russian, an his wife was killed by the soviet bureaucracy, so he had motive too.

That's why decent movie based on excellent books still suck.

[soopaman2]

That's why decent movie based on excellent books still suck.


I have to agree, being an avid Tom Clancy reader, this movie was not done well, too little background character development, and the movie gave an entirely different vibe from the book. It seemed to hurry the plot too much IMHO. The movie telegraphed the plot twist at the end, while it blindsided you in the book.

But the worse? Nah, I would put this as one of the better, though nowhere near the best.

[Kaye T. Bai]

I have to agree, being an avid Tom Clancy reader, this movie was not done well, too little background character development, and the movie gave an entirely different vibe from the book. It seemed to hurry the plot too much IMHO. The movie telegraphed the plot twist at the end, while it blindsided you in the book.


Personally, I think "The Hunt For Red October" (the film), is probably one of the most overrated subfilms of all time. Not to mention that I'm not too fond of Alec Baldwin.

The Syfy movie Sea Snakes (or Silent Venom) almost made my face burn off when I watched it. Nothing about the sub was correct except that it goes underwater. Sheesh. Give it a netflix if you think u can stomach it. The sub looks like a 688, but it's a SSK!! Exact quote from movie "this baby runs pretty quiet on electric motors" and the Chinese dropped a DEPTH CHARGE!?!? One charge, somehow, bangs up a 688 SSK. Then, the Chinese shoot a torp. Well that is a disaster. Ugh. Terrible movie.


I guess you got to cut them some slack, it's a low budget film. They probably only could get access to a WWII SSK at best. But yeah, electric motors on a 688i? And a depth charge? That's just inexcusable.

I've not seen that one but I did see this horrible excuse for a sub movie:

The only thing good about it was the paneling they picked out to line the inside of the sub's control room. :doh:
I left the movie theater after about 35 minutes of torture. Fortunately "Men at Work" was playing in the adjacent theater. :up:

Wait, "Full Fathom Five" was shown in theaters? I thought it was direct-to-video. But yeah, ramming? And I thought that one game that had USAF enlisted ranks painted on nuclear submarines was bad.

[fitzcarraldo]

Worst U boat film: Das Boot 2, about a (???!!!) Monsun boat, a type XXI (or so...), in Pacific waters, with japanese and german crew...Agh!

"A few weeks before the end of the war Lieutenant Commander Gerber has been ordered to sail to Japan carrying a load of Uranium oxide, which is one of the key components to build an atomic bomb, Gerber will also have to take passengers, amongst them two japanese navy officers, a fanatical military judge, and a man who is involved in the conspiracy to assasin Hitler. To make the journey even more dangerous a spy in the U-boat´s base in Kristiansand, Norway has sent a message warning the British about the U-boat." (from IMDB).

The story of the LTC Gerber´s boat is based on the true story of Wolfgang Hirschfeld´s book "U-boat Diary" although much dramatized.

http://img849.imageshack.us/img849/180/dasboot2laultimamisionc.jpg

Regards.

Fitzcarraldo :salute:

[John Ellis]

I Never heard of that movie Full Fathom five...
cheking it out tonihgt :yeah:

[Red October1984]

And I thought that one game that had USAF enlisted ranks painted on nuclear submarines was bad.


Naval Assault: The Killing Tide is the one you're looking for. I bought it, almost threw my xbox out the window. It was promptly returned to the store.

Terrible game. :nope:

[Kaye T. Bai]

Naval Assault: The Killing Tide is the one you're looking for. I bought it, almost threw my xbox out the window. It was promptly returned to the store.

Yeah, that's the one. Hilariously bad. :haha:

[Red October1984]

Yeah, that's the one. Hilariously bad. :haha:

You don't know the half of it. I wouldn't get it again if somebody paid me.

[Kaye T. Bai]

You don't know the half of it. I wouldn't get it again if somebody paid me.

It's an insult to the submarine community. :salute:

[Platapus]

The story of the LTC Gerber´s boat is based on the true story of Wolfgang Hirschfeld´s book "U-boat Diary" although much dramatized.


I wonder why they did not just call it the U-234 and use Johann-Heinrich Fehler's name as the Captain?

[bill clarke]

Anyone ever watch Destination Tokyo with Cary Grant as the sub skipper ?

At the conclusion of the movie he torpedoes a Jap carrier, none other that a 1930 version of Akagi, with 3 decks.

Then on the way home assists with a apendectomy on a sick sailor.

But I love those old flicks. :D

[TLAM Strike]

Anyone ever watch Destination Tokyo with Cary Grant as the sub skipper ?

At the conclusion of the movie he torpedoes a Jap carrier, none other that a 1930 version of Akagi, with 3 decks.

Then on the way home assists with a apendectomy on a sick sailor.

But I love those old flicks. :D

I think we can give that movie the benefit of the doubt, it was made during the war after all.

[Andrewsdad]

While perusing the patrol reports of US subs (via Hyperwar website) I found that Navy Pharmacist Mates actually did perform appendectomies several times. It was only done as last resort, though.

When I was a young fellow my favorite sub movie was "Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea" with Walter Pidgeon, Arlene Francis, Barbara Eden and Michael Ansara. Great fun and a good sci-fi film.

AD

[mw2000]

Bought USS Seaviper from Amazon. Waste of money, bad acting and no real story :stare:

[soopaman2]

I am so glad no one called Fantastic Voyage a bad sub movie! I was waiting in baited breath for it to be uttered.

[TabbyHunter]

While perusing the patrol reports of US subs (via Hyperwar website) I found that Navy Pharmacist Mates actually did perform appendectomies several times. It was only done as last resort, though.

When I was a young fellow my favorite sub movie was "Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea" with Walter Pidgeon, Arlene Francis, Barbara Eden and Michael Ansara. Great fun and a good sci-fi film.

AD

I was waiting for that movie to be mentioned, and I'm glad it's for the better.

Worst Submarine movie? No clue.

Top three favorite?
Operation Pacific
Crimson Tide
Operation Petticoat. They painted the sub PINK!:rotfl2:

[jpfx]

how about 'operation petticoat'?

[Sailor Steve]

I am so glad no one called Fantastic Voyage a bad sub movie! I was waiting in baited breath for it to be uttered.
It wasn't a sub movie at all. Pure sci-fi, and not bad for the time.

[tomoose]

Yes, the book was sooo much better. The movie was entertaining but I found the underwater shots of the US sub following the Russian sub almost laughable they were so close.:haha:

[Overkill]

Full Fathom Five was/is by far the worst sub movie I've personally seen. I walked out of the theater after about 30 minutes.

[Platapus]

When I was a young fellow my favorite sub movie was "Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea" with Walter Pidgeon, Arlene Francis, Barbara Eden and Michael Ansara. Great fun and a good sci-fi film.

AD

Barbara Eden Hubba hubba :up:

and not let's forget Joan Fontane. Now quite as hubba as Barbara but still hubba material. :D

[fdsdh1]

U-571 is the worst ever for a few reasons

1. the mission is pointless the engima has already been cracked by the time the film is set
2. the first U-Boat to actually be captured was almost by accident not a planned mission
3. it wasn't the USN it was the RN who captured the first enigma machine and all but 2 of all the enigma machines captured after that
4. the real U-571 was the only submarine to be captured by aircraft, all codes and the enigma machine were destroyed

[minsc_tdp]

I worry when I read things like "that movie was horrible - the <insert nation here> didn't have <obscure weapon type> until 4 months after the movie took place! HORRIBLE MOVIE DO NOT WATCH!"

Guys, what makes a good movie is not necessarily accuracy. Inaccurate movies can be good, and accurate movies can be bad or worse yet - boring. The level of inaccuracy is a hard truth, but in the viewing situation is relative to how much you know, which differs for everyone.

I try very hard not to judge movies on accuracy, unless it is SO glaring you absolutely can't ignore it. Example: A SUB THAT CAN FLY THROUGH THE AIR WITHOUT ANY ATTEMPT TO EXPLAIN IT. Just about anything else is forgivable - it's a movie - even a flying sub - as long as they explain it or put it in the proper context. Hell one of those Transformers movies had a flying aircraft carrier that was taken down by a bow and arrow, but in the context of that movie about transforming space robots, it was acceptable.

Here are my quick reviews in no particular order:

U-571 was a highly entertaining movie I really enjoyed. A bit Hollywood Schlock but well done. Some great tense moments that Hollywood does well (the guy freezing up and not yelling in German comes to mind!)

Das Boot was an excellent movie, fine filmmaking in all respects, the best movie I've ever seen though I'm admittedly biased because I like submarines. The 5-hour version is hard to sit through, but was designed for 1 episode per day over 5 days (german TV miniseries) so judging that negatively is unfair.

Crimson Tide was pretty good. Denzel overacted a bit as usual but Hackman can balance people out. Someone besides Denzel in the role and it could have been a great movie. If you like Denzel, it was a great movie.

"Below" was an entertaining, unusual horror movie. I own a copy, and I've watched it more than once. It has some lower-budget filmmaking flaws but it's uniqueness in the genre makes up for it a million times over.

Out of all the sub movies, Below is the most daring, and it should be given serious credit for that.

"The Hunt for Red October" - I loved this movie the first dozen or so times I watched it. I still do, but I must say I see it differently now. It's a great movie, but it's also blatantly masturbatory porn for wannabe sub drivers. A pencil-pusher is thrust into a wild ride which culminates in him literally driving the sub. That was put there because you are in Ryan's shoes as you watch. It's fanservice. It borders on manipulative, kind of like Avatar. If you don't understand, watch the Plinkett review of Avatar and you will understand. I don't even judge Connery for playing a Russian - he's an actor and he does his job very well. But I can't help feeling a bit manipulated after I watch this movie. Nonetheless, it rates among my top 3 like the rest of you.

[Cybermat47]

^^^^^^^^

Your right.

When I sat down to watch U-571, I expected it to be laughably bad.

It's actually quite entertaining!

[Sailor Steve]

It's not the filmmaking that's bad in U-571, it's how they managed to not get one single thing right. It only sucks if you know anything about the real navy. If not, it's fine.

[Red October1984]

tdp said it best.


The Hunt For Red October was very good, but doesn't live up to the standard the book set for me. I hated how they changed the end.

[Herr-Berbunch]

U-571 was in the TV listings the other day, most films if they appear military/nautical I'll record them (quite a backlog building up), but I didn't even give it a second-glance.

[IronOutlaw]

4. the real U-571 was the only submarine to be captured by aircraft, all codes and the enigma machine were destroyed[/QUOTE]

Aside from the comments about Enigma and U-110, U-571 was sunk by an aircraft from the Royal Australian Air Force. One of the plane's crew still lives in Canberra. That is the reason the film bombed here, as the truth of her loss was quickly spread and if there is one thing Australians cannot stand it is the US film industry ignoring Australian military history!

Then there is that idiot statement, IIRC, "I can't read anything. Everything is in German." What did he expect, Japanese?

It is not just a bad film, from a Down Under point of view, it is offensive.

[Cybermat47]

and if there is one thing Australians cannot stand it is the US film industry ignoring Australian military history!
It is not just a bad film, from a Down Under point of view, it is offensive.

I found it quite entertaining, but I do hate it when somebody ignores my country's wartime records. After all, it was us Aussies who first stopped the Panzers at Tobruk!

I think that if you're going to make a completely fictional U-boat movie, you should use hull numbers from uncommisioned subs.

[Sailor Steve]

It is not just a bad film, from a Down Under point of view, it is offensive.
And from a British point of view, and from the point of view of anyone who knows anything about history, submarine operations or even how sailors talk.

It's just bad.

[J0313]

Non-taken, but regardless of this fantasy submarine commander that is given apparently a new submarine every time a new sub comes out of the factory, doesn't explain why a full crew would give up their families and lives, the hero in my opinion of that novel/book was the Cook. :yep:

I guess you didn't pay attention to the movie bro. The whole crew didn't give up there families and or lives. The crew didn't even realize what was going on.
Only the Officers were in on it and none of them had families. Rameus picked them because of that. He also picked them because of their dissatisfaction with the Soviet Union. You need to get yourself strait there bud. It was a great movie and plot. And you use the word fantasy well guess what, ITS A MOVIE!!

[Zander]

you're on to something with this chuckler.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8itaH0dxlI

Check out the narrator's comments starting at 00:43--->

" see it fire an inter BALLISTIC(S) missile...." eh what?
Based on your vote and that little nugget
this may really be a real stinker, worthy of the scify channel.
My sides are starting to hurt real bad now.
I wonder who wrote that little bit?








The Atomic Submarine:dead:

By far the worst ever made submarine movie of all times..

http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g171/Kloef/220px-Atomic_submarineposter.jpg

[Platapus]

The Atomic Submarine:dead:

By far the worst ever made submarine movie of all times..

http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g171/Kloef/220px-Atomic_submarineposter.jpg


Don't be a hater.

Any movie with Dick Foran and the "actresses" Joi Lansing and Jean Morehead can't be all.....oh crap, you are right. It sucked. :D

[BadMole]

Been a while since I saw the movie, but in the book, it was described how the Captain was handpicking and grooming key officers for this defection. So it was not a random crew deciding to defect. I am not sure the movie made that clear.

It did. :yep:

[AndreasT]

I saw this recently on TV. I could make a better film in my living room with my cat by drawing the special effects.
It was so bad I had to watch about half of it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84zH4eDV6bo

[Platapus]

I saw this recently on TV. I could make a better film in my living room with my cat by drawing the special effects.
It was so bad I had to watch about half of it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84zH4eDV6bo

I never even heard of this movie. Is this one of those movies that goes straight to YouTube?

I hope the whale wins though. :yep:

There is only one species in nature that is a monster...

[Perseus]

Ugh. Give this one a wide berth: 'Phantom' (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1922685/?ref_=sr_2)

Arguably one of the worst submarine movies I've ever had the misfortune of seeing.

Nearly everything is wrong with this movie. The story, the characters, the technical stuff, the references, the tactics, everything.

It is loosely - might I add, very loosely - based on a novel by Kenneth Sewell which he wrote about the sinking of the K-129 Golf-II SSBN northwest of Midway.

The K-129 actually did sink amid still unclear circumstances. You can read about that here (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soviet_submarine_K-129_(1960)).

But again, that was a Golf-II SSBN. Not the B-67 Foxtrot they show us in the movie.

When a mad KGB agent inside the boat forces the captain to nearly ram his SSBN into a Panamanian freight vessel by diving to 5 meters below it and actually having the con tower hit the freight vessels' aft propellers, I was ready to turn off the TV.

It was without a doubt the most absurd scene I have ever seen in a submarine movie :huh:

The captain is a traumatized epileptic and an alcoholic, the first obviously not being his fault and the second, well - let's just say that I know of no navy that would allow an epileptic alcoholic with a trauma about an earlier collision incident to drive a boomer, or any other vessel. Not even the Red Banner fleet of the 1960s, mad as they were.

And it's sad, because Ed Harris, David Duchovny and William Fichtner are fine actors. But even their acting couldn't save this monstrosity of a movie.

[Red October1984]

I haven't seen Phantom yet...but thanks for the warning. :hmmm:

I won't buy it...probably just rent it.

[Platapus]

When a mad KGB agent inside the boat forces the captain to nearly ram his SSBN into a Panamanian freight vessel by diving to 5 meters below it and actually having the con tower hit the freight vessels' aft propellers, I was ready to turn off the TV.

It was without a doubt the most absurd scene I have ever seen in a submarine movie :huh:

Sounds like the submarine version of the cowboy hero shooting the gun out of the bad guy's hand. :haha:

[u crank]

Ugh. Give this one a wide berth: 'Phantom' (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1922685/?ref_=sr_2)

Arguably one of the worst submarine movies I've ever had the misfortune of seeing.

I watched it. I also agree with your conclusion.

[Admiral Halsey]

U-571 is the worst sub movie I have ever scene while the best is Das Boot. The movie I hope someone makes is a one about U-505.

[Julhelm]

Ugh. Give this one a wide berth: 'Phantom' (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1922685/?ref_=sr_2)

Arguably one of the worst submarine movies I've ever had the misfortune of seeing.
I thought 'Yuryeong' aka 'Phantom the Submarine' was pretty silly. Especially the part where they sink a Japanese sub by snagging its prop with the towed array and dragging it down below crush depth.

[Platapus]

U-571 is the worst sub movie I have ever scene while the best is Das Boot. The movie I hope someone makes is a one about U-505.


I dislike the needless historical inaccuracies and the dreadful acting of this movie, but I can't agree that it is the worst sub movie ever made. :nope:

It is dreck :yep: but not the worst. :nope:

Now there was this movie with Tyrone in it...... :D

[Sailor Steve]

:rotfl2: :rock: :O:

[TLAM Strike]

I thought 'Yuryeong' aka 'Phantom the Submarine' was pretty silly. Especially the part where they sink a Japanese sub by snagging its prop with the towed array and dragging it down below crush depth.

Not totally far fetched as some might think.

Back in the 1980s a Soviet Victor snagged a US Destroyer's towed array and got it wrapped around its prop. The Victor was disabled and forced to surface. They had to send a guy with an ax out on the aft deck to hack it off the screw before they could get underway again.

[nikimcbee]

I dislike the needless historical inaccuracies and the dreadful acting of this movie, but I can't agree that it is the worst sub movie ever made. :nope:

It is dreck :yep: but not the worst. :nope:

Now there was this movie with Tyrone in it...... :D

Don't be a h8tr Platapus. You know you loved seeing those cool S-Boats.:D

http://s3.vidimg.popscreen.com/original/28/eG5lbmZsMTI=_o_crash-dive-crash-dive.jpg (http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&frm=1&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&docid=pixhQLxC-fSD2M&tbnid=AG3R-ShHP7PHYM:&ved=0CAUQjRw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.popscreen.com%2Fv%2F6cD9S%2FC rash-Dive-_-Crash-Dive&ei=zWUMUt32NcLuyAHytoC4Bw&bvm=bv.50723672,d.b2I&psig=AFQjCNG1CS25j4Q0NrXnDRmkCHbQkvyj_Q&ust=1376630495110673)
"I don't understand why this....Platapus hates us? It's a great story!"

[Red October1984]

Don't be a h8tr Platapus. You know you loved seeing those cool S-Boats.:D

"I don't understand why this....Platapus hates us? It's a great story!"

It's okay Crash Dive...I'm here for you! I liked it! :O:

[nikimcbee]

Just think of this....
If Midge and Platapus ever hooked up?:hmmm:

Midge with Das Boot, Platapus with Crash Dive.....
http://entermovietopia.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/vinz-and-zuul.jpg

(not an actual photo of Midge)

[Platapus]

Man, A guy makes a few hundred posts slamming Crash Dive and all of a sudden he is branded a "hater". :D

[hunter301]

I love submarines, but I haven't seen enough of them to give an "actual worst" since I'm sure there are ones that deserve the title better to the one I'm going to name, which I'm sure alot of people liked.

With that said, I thought Hunt for Red October was pretty terrible, the whole plot about defecting was bad enough, but the idea of the newest ship in the fleet is given to a Captain who while highly decorated as the movie claims but his loyalty to his country isn't insured especially for a nuclear submarine? and rest of the crew would go along? Let alone the fact supposedly the XO of this ship would be a Political Officer?

It's a decent rambo style cold war action movie, but not my idea of a submarine movie.

Evidently you didn't listen to the movie you just watched it.

While I agree it was just a movie and highly unlikely to happen its plot did have credibility.
The XO wasn't the political officer. The XO was Borridan, the XO, the political officer was the guy he took out in his stateroom. Political Officers are highly fanatical like the Nazi SS of WW2 so this guy had to go.
When they were giving the briefing to the president's chief adviser Jack Ryan quoted that Ramius trained most of their top submarine skippers taking out the lead boat in every new class. He was quoted as being called: "The Villneous Schoolmaster". That's why he was on the Red October. It was the shakedown cruise for a new boat design. This also put him in a position to select his own officers, men who would be willing to defect with him. As Jack Ryan also quoted.
For the rest of the crew he created, with help from the chief engineer I'm sure an elaborate radiation scare to get them off the boat. Who wouldn't want to get off a boat being flooded with radiation.
Finally his reason for turning over the boat to the Americans was not for the purpose of defecting or being a traitor to his country. He quoted that "Red October" had but one purpose. To slip thru our eastern seaboard defenses and launch a nuclear attack on our country. "There are those that still believe we should strike first in one massive blow".....stated Ramius.
His reason for stealing the boat was to keep the Russians from having such an upper hand on us they could start world war three. Something any sane man would do anything in his power to avoid.
What about the beginning text? Did this have any credibility or was it just put there for the movie?

Again I realize it was just a movie and what it would take for these steps to happen in this order would be like winning the lottery. But it's not totally implausible.

[hunter301]

The list goes on..... :nope:


Such a sad thing that people actually watch these movies.

With the exception of Hunt For Red October. That is the only good one discussed in this thread. But the book was a million times better.

Which is exactly the reason I am now reading it.
:yeah::yeah:

[hunter301]

I think without a doubt the movie "Crash Dive" with Michael Dudikoff was the absolute worst submarine movie ever cut and pasted together. I say cut and pasted because, I could identify at least 4 other submarine movies that they took footage from and edited it together to make this submersible turd.

That absolutely drives me crazy when they do that. :Kaleun_Mad::Kaleun_Mad:
Be watching a movie and see a scene from another movie you have already watched. Cheap bastards. If you can't afford to do the movie than don't!!
I watched one hacked up piece of crap once. As soon as I saw the underwater combat scenes were from Crimson Tide I turned it off. Something about that just sets me off!!:stare::stare:

[hunter301]

Anything on the syfy channel.

I haven't seen any lately and I follow the SyFy channel all of the time. Not for their horrible movies but more for their series.
I don't know how a channel can make such great series but then turn out such garbage movies.
They have to have two totally different staffs, writers, budgets, etc....

[Sailor Steve]

You really should read the dates before you respond to things.

Evidently you didn't listen to the movie you just watched it.
S-13 hasn't even looked at Subsim since last July.

That absolutely drives me crazy when they do that.
Again you're answering a guy who joined, made one post, and has never looked at Subsim again.

As to the other two, they're both still around and active, but you're responding to something they said six months and eighteen months ago respectively.