View Full Version : UK Police to shape up
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-17382096
Police officers' fitness could be checked annually with disciplinary procedures facing any officer who fails the test three times.
Looks like the Police here are eating too many pie & chips. ;)
BossMark
03-15-12, 11:47 AM
I wish that copper that chased and caught me during the 1984\85 miners strike had been unfit :D he didnt arrest me gave me a good whacking with that lump of wood they carry around with them.
Herr-Berbunch
03-15-12, 11:56 AM
I wish that copper that chased and caught me . . .
Did he have a Geordie accent? :hmmm:
"Ha'way man, yer under arrest! Stop strugglin' pet or yer gonna get hurt."
"Sarge man, he's a struggler so that's why aye used reasonable force and the reason for his brawken ribs."
"...and a brawken nose, man."
I wish that copper that chased and caught me during the 1984\85 miners strike had been unfit :D he didnt arrest me gave me a good whacking with that lump of wood they carry around with them.
I missed read a word in there, sounded like a spot of S&M. :rotfl2:
Jimbuna
03-15-12, 12:43 PM
I wish that copper that chased and caught me during the 1984\85 miners strike had been unfit :D he didnt arrest me gave me a good whacking with that lump of wood they carry around with them.
Did he have a Geordie accent? :hmmm:
"Ha'way man, yer under arrest! Stop strugglin' pet or yer gonna get hurt."
"Sarge man, he's a struggler so that's why aye used reasonable force and the reason for his brawken ribs."
"...and a brawken nose, man."
Oh the memories :DL
*Two quick memories...one funny and one not so*
Whilst travelling down the motorway with a dozen or so colleagues in a police windowed transit van......overtaken by a coach of miners who promptly dropped their trousers and 'mooned' at us.
The Inspector in our van advised our traffic escort 1/2 a mile or so ahead of us of the incident and when advised, said escort stated they would pull the coach over and find fault with coach and behaviour of occupants.
The Inspector was a bit of a character and requested the escort simply slow the coach down in order that we could overtake in a timely yet safe fashion.
As the van passed the coach the miners attention was drawn to the van overtaking them with horn sounding...the view was a dozen or so officers brandishing wads of bank notes from copious amounts of overtime and travelling expenses etc.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Down in the Nottinghamshire coalfields ensuring pickets were of a peaceful nature.
There were many striking miners at one certain pit and some were accompanied by their children.
Everything was peaceful and a certain element of banter would occasionally occur.
We always had a chuck wagon in attendance and because of the atmosphere would offer the strikers a hot drink and a pie or a sandwich.
The miners were very proud and declined to a man but were happy for us to give their children a cup of bovril and a pie etc.
A day or so later the 'flying pickets' arrived and you can imagine the resulting consequences....full body armour, shields and mounted support.
Sad times indeed for the British people as a whole :nope:
Sailor Steve
03-15-12, 03:47 PM
Ah, Jim lad, but no man can say ye've nae had a colourful life. :rock:
Herr-Berbunch
03-15-12, 05:07 PM
But all is well, the government are considering purchasing water cannons for any future civil disobedience (oxymoron?), good job we're not expecting a drought this year. :nope:
BossMark
03-16-12, 07:48 AM
Jim did you ever go to Orgreave in the said strike as young 19 year old this is where the policeman used me for truncheon practice :D
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Orgreave
But all is well, the government are considering purchasing water cannons for any future civil disobedience (oxymoron?), good job we're not expecting a drought this year. :nope:
Could be the only way to get water if they don't get the old stand-pipes out. :haha:
Jimbuna
03-16-12, 08:39 AM
Jim did you ever go to Orgreave in the said strike as young 19 year old this is where the policeman used me for truncheon practice :D
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Orgreave
Nope, wasn't there....and I'm glad because that was a very serious situation indeed.
It was places like Orgreave that brought out the very worst in both sides...best not mention the politicians.
BossMark
03-16-12, 11:36 AM
But all is well, the government are considering purchasing water cannons for any future civil disobedience (oxymoron?), good job we're not expecting a drought this year. :nope:
I wonder if they will get £1000 fine for using hose pipes :D
Nope, wasn't there....and I'm glad because that was a very serious situation indeed.
It was places like Orgreave that brought out the very worst in both sides...best not mention the politicians.
I couldn't agree more, and am still sure that evil cow used the army dressed as police in that said incident but that can not be proven, but some of the police didn't have their numbers on their uniforms :hmmm:
Penguin
03-16-12, 12:19 PM
I once took part in an event that included having a casual race against the cops through the nightly woods. While I was running through the woods, trying not to get my butt kicked, I suddenly noticed someone running parallel to my right, about 5,6 meters away. As I turned my head: Gosh! A cop, running with the same speed as me - it was at the time when the police here still wore white helmets, so he was rather easy to spot - today they usually have a dark cover.
With my inner cam fueled by adrenaline, I saw everything in slow motion. I thought to myself: "Man, those coppers are in good shape, you really have to speed up a little!", when I looked over again: thud! - he fell over a log or something else on the ground. :O: I continued to run, paying double attention to the surrounding.
The morale: shape & training is not everything, also watch the ground! :03:
The not so funny aftermath, was that some imbecile, right-wing paper reported that there were wires spanned between trees, in the height of the neck, to prevent cops from running there. Which was absolute bs. First nobody wanted to get something for attempted murder, second there is nothing as neck height (is it 1.50m, 1.90m?) and third: the protesters also ran through the woods
But as hearsaying goes, someone always heard of somebody who knows somebody to whom happened this. :nope: So after the "news report" the cops were extremely edgy. :shifty:
A day or so later the 'flying pickets' arrived and you can imagine the resulting consequences....full body armour, shields and mounted support.
Are you referring by "flying pickets" to something like travelling protestors? Can't really quite get a picture of it.
Kudos for sharing your stories, I am happy that we can exchange our stories here with a smile in retrospective, looking back without hate or anger.
But all is well, the government are considering purchasing water cannons for any future civil disobedience (oxymoron?), good job we're not expecting a drought this year. :nope:
I my experience, water cannons always led to further escalations. Today, the police here got smarter and they keep them in the back until something actually happens.
Though I always had respect of those nasty buggers:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d0/Polizei_Panzerwagen.jpg/640px-Polizei_Panzerwagen.jpg
Nothing shouts "civil war" more loudly than having an APC coming to you at high speed. Very uncomfortable and certainly not de-escalating.
Flying Pickets are basically Rent-a-Mob. The more...provocative members of the community bussed from place to place, usually followed very closely by the Heavy Squad (Riot police).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Picketing_%28protest%29
All a bit before my time...well...actually AT my time...but I can just about remember the reign of Iron knickers, and then Pants-man after her. :damn:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-17382096
Looks like the Police here are eating too many pie & chips. ;)
Sounds like you got out just in time eh Jim?:O:
Jimbuna
03-16-12, 05:03 PM
Are you referring by "flying pickets" to something like travelling protestors? Can't really quite get a picture of it.
Kudos for sharing your stories, I am happy that we can exchange our stories here with a smile in retrospective, looking back without hate or anger.
Yes...Oberon explains it well in #13 :yep:
Penguin
03-16-12, 05:04 PM
Sounds like you got out just in time eh Jim?:O:
I heard that since his leave the average weight of the male Geordie Old Bill dropped by 2 stones...:O:
*ducks and tries to outrun Jim* :shucks:
Jimbuna
03-16-12, 05:05 PM
Sounds like you got out just in time eh Jim?:O:
Never say no to the offer of an early pension....does wonders for one's collecting hobby :03:
Jimbuna
03-16-12, 05:07 PM
I heard that since his leave the average weight of the male Geordie Old Bill dropped by 2 stones...:O:
*ducks and tries to outrun Jim* :shucks:
LOL....since then I've been up to 17 stone but am currently at my retirement weight of 15 1/2 stone :sunny:
Penguin
03-16-12, 05:11 PM
LOL....since then I've been up to 17 stone but am currently at my retirement weight of 15 1/2 stone :sunny:
lol, I guess I gained the same amount of weight you lost since the last time I took part in funny medium-distance running contests with the police :03:
Jimbuna
03-16-12, 05:53 PM
lol, I guess I gained the same amount of weight you lost since the last time I took part in funny medium-distance running contests with the police :03:
Happy days, those when I loved the fun of the chase...couldn't run for a bus now :doh:
When running from the police throw them a pork pie or black pudding.
"Hey you stop".
"Mmmm pork pie".
I saw some officer sweating like a pig who looked like he was about to drop dead after stepping out of his police car into Starbucks while ago.
Jimbuna
03-17-12, 12:49 PM
I reckon the thought of having to stomach a cup of Starbucks would get me sweating :DL
I reckon the thought of having to stomach a cup of Starbucks would get me sweating :DL
:har::har:
Madox58
03-17-12, 03:23 PM
As I travel all over the U.S. again?
I noted that many of the younger Officers seem to be....
A.) Working out
or
B.) Steroid maintained trouble
I know many good 'Law Doggs' and by and far they are the majority.
It's the 'Bad Doggs' that scare me.
I'd much rather be pulled over by the older, donut eating 'Dogg'.
:haha:
I'd rather not be pulled over at all given the option.:03:
Saw a fat cop today while buying a newspaper, he was wolfing back a big dairy milk chocolate bar! :o
http://ts4.mm.bing.net/images/thumbnail.aspx?q=4909238301625163&id=3859e748c8a7b1a09bef1f2ed41b23ec
Made feel sick.
Jimbuna
03-18-12, 09:07 AM
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/09/29/article-2043540-0E26E9E400000578-588_233x320.jpg
BossMark
03-18-12, 09:07 AM
Saw a fat cop today while buying a newspaper, he was wolfing back a big dairy milk chocolate bar! :o
http://ts4.mm.bing.net/images/thumbnail.aspx?q=4909238301625163&id=3859e748c8a7b1a09bef1f2ed41b23ec
Made feel sick.
:hmmm:Maybe the fat sod wants a desk job or to be made redundant :shifty:
Time to turn the police in to lean mean fighting machines, tour of Iraq. :hmmm:
Jimbuna
03-18-12, 02:58 PM
:hmmm:Maybe the fat sod wants a desk job or to be made redundant :shifty:
I wonder what the redundancy packages are like these days?
In a previous life 25 years service saw you off with a pension equal to half pay and 30 years two thirds pay.
OK FAT COPS...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKX9J2ENXTs
Shape up for the lady's.:haha:
BossMark
03-19-12, 11:36 AM
Saw two fatty coppers earlier today when coming out of the bookies the two rather large officers went next door into the Subway sarnie shop :o
Saw two fatty coppers earlier today when coming out of the bookies the two rather large officers went next door into the Subway sarnie shop :o
SUBWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! :o :o :o
That's asking for a heart attack! :dead:
Herr-Berbunch
03-19-12, 01:48 PM
SUBWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! :o :o :o
That's asking for a heart attack! :dead:
But a foot long BMT with extra chillies and mayo is to die for...! :D
I play football with and against cops once a week, for two reasons:
First, bush telegraph: when my cops have to leave early, that is, they don’t drink a beer after the match, this tells me, that they have to do police raids the other morning. House searches always start at 6:30 in the morning in Germany. So if you hear the sound of heavy boots and someone is knocking at your door at 6:30 am here, chances are high that it is the Police and or tax investigators coming for you.
At least on my home turf, I want to know what is going on.
Second: Am I still fast enough to run away from cops, running and dribbling with the ball of course?
State of fitness:
My cops are amongst the fittest players, they seemingly never get tired. I like to have them in my team because they are valuable team players with a robust approach and good tackling.
One guy did not finish the 100 meters race at the set time during the annual police fitness test this year which for him was kind of an embarrassment because he is a “Hundertschaftsführer” for the riot police (leader of a group of a hundred). Historically the Germanic tribes created fighting groups of 100 men. The riot police still has that. He now does some extra training.
Jimbuna
03-20-12, 03:47 PM
I play football with and against cops once a week, for two reasons:
First, bush telegraph: when my cops have to leave early, that is, they don’t drink a beer after the match, this tells me, that they have to do police raids the other morning. House searches always start at 6:30 in the morning in Germany. So if you hear the sound of heavy boots and someone is knocking at your door at 6:30 am here, chances are high that it is the Police and or tax investigators coming for you.
At least on my home turf, I want to know what is going on.
Second: Am I still fast enough to run away from cops, running and dribbling with the ball of course?
State of fitness:
My cops are amongst the fittest players, they seemingly never get tired. I like to have them in my team because they are valuable team players with a robust approach and good tackling.
One guy did not finish the 100 meters race at the set time during the annual police fitness test this year which for him was kind of an embarrassment because he is a “Hundertschaftsführer” for the riot police (leader of a group of a hundred). Historically the Germanic tribes created fighting groups of 100 men. The riot police still has that. He now does some extra training.
Good luck to him, I'm sure his experience would be a big loss.
Last night on the radio some guy rang in and saw a fat cop running down the road with a double cheese burger in his hand!
To balance this out I saw today a police officer eating a apple. And yes, he looked like he was at a normal weight, no beer gut.
I must admit I haven't seen any fat cops in this area, but most of them are CSOs, nice people. Although the police station in this town is only open a day or two a week, if that.
Jimbuna
03-21-12, 03:43 PM
http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/demotivational-posters-fat-cops.jpg
Herr-Berbunch
03-21-12, 05:06 PM
. . . but most of them are CSOs . . .
I have very little against PCSOs, but around here they all seem to be mid-20s, female, and blonde. Very few burly blokes.
Oh, and walking in pairs at 10 am down a main road (as in a large road leading into the town, not with shops) is not, I would imagine, much of a deterrent to crime or to the drug and alcohol infused masses at 2 am. :hmmm:
Back kind of O/T, none of them even look like they've seen a doughnut. :arrgh!:
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