Broadway, Broadway! (BALZ)

[Brag]

Plot idea contributed by Subsim member Eisenwurst.

Lorient, March 1942.

The poweful diesels hummed a song of victory as U 123 left the hrbor and headed down the river to to meet the challenges of the open sea.

Having ridden himself of Bernard, Balz's heart beat faster, stronger, happier. This was going to be a great patrol that would make Balz more famous than Hitler. Balz jingled the medals pinned to his smoking jacket and twirled the turkey tea cozy on his head.
He turned to his new first watch officer. "Keller, on this patrol you will witness how my greatness matures and grows into super greatness. Once we clean up the shipping off the American coast and open up Broadway to such great talent as myself. I'll buy you a hot dog."

"Very kind of you, Herr Kaleun."
"I just bubble with generosity. That´s what I am, a U-boat commander bubbling with generosity and hucjie wiichie."

Schnell Boot overtaking us," a lookout reported.
Balz turned to stern. Indeed, a torpedo boat was approaching--towing a waterskier.

http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/9053/dancewithpiratevi9.gifhttp://img87.imageshack.us/img87/9053/dancewithpiratevi9.gif


A waterskier? Stay tuned.. For another riveting installment of Broadway, Broadway!

[andwii]

lol I can just imagine having a uboat musical. I accept the challenge! lol

[Gargamel]

http://i00.i.aliimg.com/photo/v0/10748874/S_Bernard_Ski.jpg

[Laufen zum Ziel]

Glad to see you are still standing tall for Balz. Any more novels in the future?

Cheers,
Ken

[Brag]

Glad to see you are still standing tall for Balz. Any more novels in the future?

Cheers,
Ken

Good to see you are still around!
At the moment I am working on a historic paper I'll be presentin at a conference of museums in April.

After that will see about editing Temple Drums a novel set in the 1960s Laos.

[Laufen zum Ziel]

Best of luck with your endevers.

[Brag]

The Schnellboot came alongside.
With the beer crate on his head, Bernard leapt onto the U-123 deck.
Keller had never seen such a display of agility.
Bernard came to attention and saluted. "Got the beer as ordered. Herr Kaleun."
"Is that what you are wearing on your head?" Balz asked.
"Yes, Herr Kaleun.
"Very well. Take the beer below, get into your banana suit and report to Cookie to hang you."
"What's a banana suit?" Keller asked.
Balz tilted his head to one side as if inspecting an idiot. If you don't know, go to the galley and watch."
In the galley, Cookie put aside skillet in which he was sautéing mushrooms and helped Bernard get into a bag that made him look like a giant banana.
Cookie tied a line and hoisted Bernard up in between a couple of real banana bunches. "There. He is secured, Herr Leutnant." Cookie added wine to the skillet and went back to cooking. The aroma was like nothing he had smelled in the navy and his stomach began to growl with hunger.
The boat was already beyond the minefield when Keller returned to the Bridge. "Herr Kaleun, Bernard is secured."
"Very, well. This way I don't have to see the sod and when I walk by, I can pretend it's nothing worse than a farthing banana."

http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/9053/dancewithpiratevi9.gifhttp://img87.imageshack.us/img87/9053/dancewithpiratevi9.gif

[krashkart]

It all goes to show that no Kaleun can be free of Bernard. Not even the great Balz! Such tragedy... :nope:

[Gargamel]

Odd thing to imagine..... A farthing banana? Bernard must be the one in the middle http://www.theberkeleygraduate.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/GlobeTheatre_NEW_08_LovesLaboursLost_JackFarthingW illiamManneringPhilipCumbusTrystanGravelle_Credit_ JohnHaynes-1024x732.jpg

[Brag]

Lt. Keller writes.
With Bernard safely banana bagged, the U-123 sailed westward at seven knots. The food on this boat is excellent as Balz, using his influence with Hitler, managed to get the Chef of the Kempinsky Hotel in Berlin drafted into the Kriegsmarine. We had daily choir practice. Then, a never ending storm hit. For two weeks we were unable to even see a star to fix our position. Then the storm stopped, the sun came out. If any birds would have been around, they would have sung. The choir had to sing instead.

We were about to sit down for another glorious lunch when Zeiler Zteve finished plotting our noon position. Shaking his head, he said, "Herr Kaleun, I have bad news."
"We're about to eat. Keep your bad news 'til after my post prandial nap."
"I have urgent bad news."
"Then whisper them to Keller and ruin his appetite."
Zeiler Zteve whispered his news into my ear.
"Oh, no," I cried out.
"No need to panic or get emotional before lunch. That's the first rule of hoochie woochie. Balz donned his duckie tea cozy. "All right go ahead and tell me the disastrous news."
I took a deep breath and held hands with Zeiler Zteve. "The storm took us off course."
"So what. Plot our new position, then plot a new course to where we will commit mayhem off the North American coast and deny the Yankis the pleasures of Cuban cigars, Caribbean coconuts, Jamaican coffee, Barbados rum, Venezuelan oil and bananas from Chiquita.°
"They are Chiquita Banans, not banans from, " I corrected.
"Is that right?" Balz said.
"That's right," I said.
"Tell him the problem," Zailer Zteve urged.
"What problem?" Balz asked.
"The problem Zeiler Zteve was going to tell you, but you told him to whisper it to me, and I said oh, no."
"Ah, that problem. Can´t it wait 'til after lunch?"
"No, Herr Kaleun."
"All right, I am bracing myself,° Balz weapped his arm around the attack scope."
"Who should reveal the news, me who now knows or Zeiler Zteve who made the discovery?"
Balz scratched his chin. "Maybe you should sing it in a duet. In a slow cadence and lugubrious tone."

http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/9053/dancewithpiratevi9.gifhttp://img87.imageshack.us/img87/9053/dancewithpiratevi9.gif

What will be Balz's reaction to the shattering news? How serious is the problem? What will happen next? Where is Bernard?

Stay tuned, the next exciting episode is coming to your screen soon.

[Missing Name]

How off course are we talking here? The Indian Ocean?

[Brag]

Zeiler Zteve came to attention. "Herr Kaleun, it is my sad duty as an undersea mariner of the greatest distinction and crewmember of the best submersible in the glorious fleet of U-boats has ever put to sea--
"Skip the speech and give me the news," Balz said.
"I will give, Herr Kaleun the news, the moment I am not interrupted."
"I am not interrupting, but strongly urging you to deliver the ghastly news, you are planning to deliver."
"Very well, Herr Kaleun, here they come--"
"Go on, go on, Mensh."
"Will you please reduce the urgings so that I can state the news?
"I am reducing the urgings to zero."
Zeiler Zteve cleared his throat. "I forgot what I was going to say."
"You were going to deliver bad news after plotting out noon position."
"Ah, yes. Our noon position is right in the middle of the BoMüller Triangle.
Balz's face became ashen and he made chocking sounds. "Not the BoMüller Triangle."
"Not only that," Zeiler Zteve continued, but we are in the zone of maximum convergence."
"That is not hoochie woochie. But, never fear your superb commander, which, I should remind you it is me, will save you from this evil called the Bo¨Múller Triangle. Achtung, deck gunners on deck, flack gunners on Flack, two extra lookouts on the bridge. Engines full ahead, new heading two nine zero. Cook cancel lunch, twirlers will now twirl counter clockwise. Froo froo on standby."
Finished giving orders, Balz took his binoculars and went topside.

The sea was calm, a few puffy clouds slowly drifted gracing the sub tropical sea.. Balz liked the name subtropical, it went well with submarines.
"Flugzeug gesichted," The forwaed-starboard lookout announced.
"Hold your fire until you see their goggled eyeballs," Balz said calmly. He peered through the binoculars.

Twelve Avenger torpedo bombers flew on an easterly heading in a shallow dive one behind the other. The lead plane dove into the sea and was followed by the others.

"Einz, zwei , hoochie woochie ." Balz waved his tea cozy as the last airplane splashed in.

"Ship spotted," the stern lookout reported.
Balz turned and his gaze focused on a brigantine with full sail catching up. "hold your fire. That's the Flying Dutchman caught for centuries by the forces of the BoMüller."
The sailing ship passed U-123 with its crew of skeletons waving cutlasses and vanished beyond the horizon.

A dark cloud appeared. Balz watched it roll and spread wider. "Secure the deck artillery. choir muster for emergency singing. We have a black squall coming."

Like a blanket of doom, the squall enveloped the northern horizon, Like a steel fist wind hit the connin tower and forced the boat to heel to port. Balz´s tea cozy flew off. Hurricane force wind scooped water and sent spray into the air stabbing balz like thousands of needles.
Thunder rolled from all directions, wind screamed. The darkness grewto midnight color. U-123 began to glow with Saint Elmo's fire. Lightning stabbed the darkness sparks crackled. The conning tower rails became hot. Balz got an electric shock, he was burning, unable to think-
"Aaaaarrrrggghhh," he screamed.


http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/9053/dancewithpiratevi9.gifhttp://img87.imageshack.us/img87/9053/dancewithpiratevi9.gif

***1042;***1072;***1090; ***1074;***1080;***1083;***1083; ***1093;***1072;***1087;***1087;***1077;***1085; ***1085;***1077;***1082;***1094;***1090;?
What will happen next?
Don't miss the next gripping episode

[Sailor Steve]

That's the worstest, dumbestest story yet. Ships and planes an u-boats and sailors don't just disappear into th...






































.

[frau kaleun]

Could be worse, could be the Bode Miller Triangle. Get lost in there and we'd probably never ski you again.









I'll get my coat.

[Gargamel]

Could be worse, could be the Bode Miller Triangle. Get lost in there and we'd probably never ski you again.









I'll get my coat.

WTH . ......

I don't even........


Sigh.......

[Herr-Berbunch]

As always, Brag...


Keep it coming!

[Missing Name]

Well, all he has to do is watch out for the oofoes and he should be fine.

http://i874.photobucket.com/albums/ab303/MissingName/UFOo1.png

[Brag]

AAAARRGGHH!
"Are you alright?" A distant voice asked.
Balz heard himself moan.
"Are you alright?"
Someone was shaking his sleeve.. Balz opened his eyes
"Are you alright?" the fat man who was shaking his sleeve and asking if he was alright sat next to him and asked, "Are you all right?"
The burning sensation was gone. Balz said, yes, yes.
"It happens to all of us. It's the night before opening jitters."
Balz looked around. He and the fat man sat in an empty theater.
"Relax, go to your hotel, have a drink. Tomorrow we will see the greatest success in Broadway history."
Broadway?
The fat man tapped Balz's shoulder. "You are a genius.
"Yes, I am."
"I have to go, "the fat man said, "See you tomorrow."
Feeling dizzy, Balz remained seated. Hotel? Yes, the Park Plaza. His crew were also staying there. Hmmm, strange.
Balz went outside. The sidewalk was crowded with hurrying people. He went by a newstand. The newspaper headlines said IN PARIS CONFERENCE AMERICANS AGREE TO WITHDRAW TROOPS.
"We won the war!" Balz shouted. He looked at the date, April 21 1971. It took us a while, but we won. He looked at the street sign. Broadway! "And I am on Broadway!" he yelled.
Balz started top dancing with joy,
He looked up and saw the flashing marquee. WORLD PREMIERE, THE SEASONS, BY JOHAN SEBASTIAN BALZ
"What a wonderful title, what a brilliant idea by marvelous me. The Seasons! I will become immortal like Vivaldi, resonant like Glazunov, nostalgic like Piazzola. Viva me, viva Balz. It's the hoochie woochie in me.!"

The following evening, the theater was packed. "Look, what a crowd, what a crowd. The fat man approached Balz and shook hands.

The lights dimmed.
The crowd hushed...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHmYIo7bcUw (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHmYIo7bcUw)


http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/9053/dancewithpiratevi9.gifhttp://img87.imageshack.us/img87/9053/dancewithpiratevi9.gif

I hope you have enjoyed the show.
Thanks to eisenwurst for the plot of this magna production

[VONHARRIS]

Wow , I didn't see that coming!

Very good , as always Brag.:yeah:

[Brag]

ThanK YOU ,VONHARRIS:DL

[Eisenwurst]

Ah yes, but did Lt Keller get his hot dog?

[Brag]

1971
"Three dollars for a beer?" Balz slapped his tea cozy on the bar counter. "We somehow must get back in time to cheap beer and sink more American ships."
Zeiler Zteve sipped his pink lemonade. "But the museum will not give our submarine back."
"Verdamnte museum won't even give us a cut on the ticket sales." Balz grumbled..
With a carpet rolled over his shoulder, Haji Baba Jimbuna entered the bar. "Carpets, magic carpets," he sang.
"Maybe we can return on a magic carpet," Balz said.
"If we return without a submarine, we will be shot." Zeiler Zteve said.
"It's better than paying three bucks for a beer."
Haji Baba Jimbuna laughed. "They will shoot you here when you try to pay with Reichsmarks."
"Then give us a ride back to |941 on your carpet."
"I don't accept Reichsmarks either. You are skewered, stuck in time in New York, haha ha ha." Haji Baba Jimbuna laughed like a maniac.


Will Balz and his crew ever get back? Are they stuck to wander the streets of New York like ghosts of a world that is no more?

Another exciting episode coming to your screen, soon.


http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/9053/dancewithpiratevi9.gifhttp://img87.imageshack.us/img87/9053/dancewithpiratevi9.gif