vienna
10-18-11, 12:46 PM
There is a weekly program on National Public Radio (NPR) called "Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me!" that mixes news and comedy. One of the segments is acontest where a caller tries to discern a true story from a trio of stories told by a panel of celebrity guests. Only one story is true, but even the true story is rather bizzare or on the edge of beliveable. The following was an obviously false story told by P. J. O'Rourke; anyone who has had dealings with the TSA will appreciate the humor:
Mr. O'ROURKE: Louisiana restaurateur Bo LeClair is a frequent flier, with all the security hassles that that entails. Plus, he has a six-inch pin in his thigh from an old motorcycle accident that sets off all the whistles and sirens. Bo also happens to own a bar right outside the TSA National Training Center in Shreveport. After a full body search experience that made him late for his plane in New Orleans, Bo advertised free beer at his bar for all TSA personnel. Then, Bo bought a used grocery store checkout counter conveyor belt and a bunch of dirty plastic trays and borrowed a metal detector.
(Soundbite of laughter)
Mr. O'ROURKE: TSA employees were lined up for hours, emptying their pockets, taking off their shoes and going back and forth through a metal detector set to buzz no matter what.
(Soundbite of laughter)
Mr. O'ROURKE: A biker gang was hired to do pat-downs.
(Soundbite of laughter)
(Soundbite of applause)
Mr. O'ROURKE: When the TSA finally made it to the bar, the beer was served only in containers of three ounces.
(Soundbite of laughter)
(Soundbite of applause)
Mr. O'ROURKE: And, said Bo, "I charged them for the peanuts."
(Soundbite of laughter)
Mr. O'ROURKE: Louisiana restaurateur Bo LeClair is a frequent flier, with all the security hassles that that entails. Plus, he has a six-inch pin in his thigh from an old motorcycle accident that sets off all the whistles and sirens. Bo also happens to own a bar right outside the TSA National Training Center in Shreveport. After a full body search experience that made him late for his plane in New Orleans, Bo advertised free beer at his bar for all TSA personnel. Then, Bo bought a used grocery store checkout counter conveyor belt and a bunch of dirty plastic trays and borrowed a metal detector.
(Soundbite of laughter)
Mr. O'ROURKE: TSA employees were lined up for hours, emptying their pockets, taking off their shoes and going back and forth through a metal detector set to buzz no matter what.
(Soundbite of laughter)
Mr. O'ROURKE: A biker gang was hired to do pat-downs.
(Soundbite of laughter)
(Soundbite of applause)
Mr. O'ROURKE: When the TSA finally made it to the bar, the beer was served only in containers of three ounces.
(Soundbite of laughter)
(Soundbite of applause)
Mr. O'ROURKE: And, said Bo, "I charged them for the peanuts."
(Soundbite of laughter)