Contest: Pick al-Qaida’s New Name

[Feuer Frei!]

Play Don Draper for a moment. What do you think about when you think about al-Qaida? The senseless slaughter of innocents, right? As it turned out, even Osama bin Laden thought his terrorist organization needed an image reboot.
The Associated Press reports that some of bin Laden***8217;s final writings display an obsession with how far al-Qaida***8217;s brand had fallen (http://ap.stripes.com/dynamic/stories/U/US_AL_QAIDA_NEW_NAME?SITE=DCSAS&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2011-06-24-03-19-30). While the United States has flagellated itself for years for losing the information wars in the Muslim world (http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2009/09/reboot-afghan-info-war-top-commander-says/), bin Laden thought he was worse off, irreparably tainting his terrorist organization by killing too many Muslims. He started brainstorming new names.
The problem is that bin Laden sucks as a brand manager. One of his new handles for al-Qaida? ***8220;Monotheism and Jihad Group.***8221; That was the original name of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi***8217;s bloodthirsty al-Qaida franchise (http://www.start.umd.edu/start/data_collections/tops/terrorist_organization_profile.asp?id=4338) in Iraq that killed so many Muslims that Ayman Zawahiri begged Zarqawi to stop (http://www.globalsecurity.org/security/library/report/2005/zawahiri-zarqawi-letter_9jul2005.htm). When Zarqawi didn***8217;t listen, he lost his Iraqi allies, got blown up by the United States, and his group snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. Not exactly a model for a new look.


Here are some submissions so far:


Westboro Baptist Church
by Anonymous

League of Extraordinary Beards
by Anonymous

Kandahar Ardent Brotherhood Of Orthodox Muslims (KABOOM)
by Anonymous

iQaeda
by Anonymous

Angry Beards
by Anonymous

Bad News Beards
by Neil

Terrorists Without Borders
by MG

Yes We Quran!
by JT

The Artist Formerly Known as Al-Qaida
by Anonymous

SEAL bait
by Mac

72 Virgin Airways
by n29_w95

Turbanators
by Anonymous

Dr. Bin Laden's 100% Natural Good Time Terror Band Solution
by dan

Quran Quran
by Anonymous

Why hide it any more? Inter-Services Intelligence
by Anonymous

"Weird Al" Qaeda
by EMRJKC'94

Talk Abottabad Place to Hide
by Anonymous

Not Al Qaeda
by Anonymous

The Organization for Justifying US Military Expenditures
by wial

2 Beards 1 Cup
by Anonymous

Dead Men Walking!
by Rick Allen

All Your Beards Are Belong To Us!
by SnugglePuppy

Goat Ropers
by bdenham


Cobraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
by Anonymous

SOURCE (http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2011/06/contest-pick-al-qaidas-new-name/)

Submit your entries now! :salute:

[yubba]

Gee Feuer, this one is a tuffy and usually I'm pretty quick with a smart @$$ remark, a poofier name for Al Qaida Rinds, spicy hot fried pork skins. I'm at a loss, damn I must be loosing my touch. I think instead of killing these sobes we catch them, give them a sex change and send them back as women, where's your god now.

[MH]

Al gamma al Majnoonyia al Islamiya.
Pardon my arabic.
-Brotherhood of islamic nutcases.

[Freiwillige]

Cobraaaaaaaaa! :har:

Here is my submission......DEAD

[darius359au]

Targets'R'us :D

[Sledgehammer427]

The writers of Anarchist's Cookbook: Jihad Edition

[NeonSamurai]

We strap explosives to children in the name of God

Acronym sucks though.

[Jimbuna]

Terminally Ill

[MH]

The blow jobs anonymous......oopss sorrry.

[Rilder]

Team hit Bella with a plane. :rotfl2:

[yubba]

Al Ka Boooommmmeeerrrrrrrsssssss took me long enough.:har::har: Headed by Bin Poopin hopin not to have premature explosion syndrome.

[kiwi_2005]

The Jihadohvah Witnesses. :o

[krashkart]

Terminally Ill

Sums it up about right.




My entry would be "Those Who Shall Not Be Recognized"

[Castout]

JWC

Jihadists without cause

Honesty can be brutal huh. False cause is not a cause. It is chaos and madness. Where are they when people rose against Mubarak or Ben Ali. Where are they when Libyans are fighting Gaddafi? I tell you they don't have a cause that is worthy of killing and sacrificing lives. Madmen with AK-47 and some doctrine taken from Quran and an appetite for violence. Nothing more. Their struggle is not for the good of mankind but to establish their ideological belief and force it upon everyone else. Blind men guiding other blind men. We should pity them. Dictators at least get a very comfortable life but a terrorist gets neither heaven or this world. It's a struggle in the name of vanity.

[BossMark]

The killers of many innocents or we are sick bastards

[Blood_splat]

Receptors for Jihad Delusion

[Penguin]

TAFKABA

The Artists Formerly Known As Bearded Arseholes

[Jimbuna]

Imperfection Personified.

[Herr-Berbunch]

Brothers
Against
Christian
Or
Nay
-
Sayers
And
Now
Demanding
Wirgins
In
Chapati
Heaven

:03:

[August]

"SEAL bait"

[Jimbuna]

“League of Extraordinary Beards”

[Sledgehammer427]

Brothers
Against
Christian
Or
Nay
-
Sayers
And
Now
Demanding
Wirgins
In
Chapati
Heaven

:03:

THIS ONE!

"a bus in downtown -town name here- exploded today, killing 5 and wounding 10 others...BACON SANDWICH has already admitted to directing the attack and has come forward with a video, expressing its hatred of infadels and capitalism."

[flatsixes]

Hell's A$$h*les

[STEED]

Pig shaggers International.

[Jimbuna]

Turban Legends

[MothBalls]

Mart~R~Us

[Growler]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/9a/Target_logo.svg

[Jimbuna]

Beards without Borders