View Full Version : Why Men Lie Up and Women Lie Down
Both men and women lie, but they lie about different (and predictable) things.
Whether in personal ads or in face-to-face conversations, men tend to lie about their earnings and their height. In contrast, women tend to lie about their age and their weight. And both men and women often lie about the number of sexual partners they have had in their lives.
On all of these dimensions, men typically lie upwards and women typically lie downwards. Men pretend that they make more money than they actually do, they pretend that they are taller than they actually are, and they pretend that they have had more sexual partners than they actually have. In contrast, women pretend that they are younger than they actually are, they pretend that they are lighter than they actually are, and they pretend that they have had fewer sexual partners than they actually have.
Of all these dimensions, height is the only one that stays more or less the same throughout adult life. All the other dimensions only increase with time. Age by definition increases uniformly and equally with time. Most people's earnings increase with age and experience. Because metabolism slows down with age, most people become heavier as they get older. And the lifetime number of sexual partners cannot decrease and usually increases with time.
In other words, women lie and pretend to be what they used to be before in the past, whereas men lie and pretend to be what they will be in the future (or what they hope to become in an alternate universe or in their fantasy).
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/201105/why-men-lie-and-women-lie-down
Note: Published on May 8, 2011
I guess an evolutionary biologist would say we lie to improve our chances to reproduce. Our genes think we still live on an African savannah, after health the best characteristic to males is protection (hence earnings and height) and to females is youth.
I guess an evolutionary biologist would say we lie to improve our chances to reproduce. Our genes think we still live on an African savannah, after health the best characteristic to males is protection (hence earnings and height) and to females is youth. Yes, could be a likely explanation :hmm2:
AVGWarhawk
05-09-11, 01:00 PM
Sounds like insecurity issues to me. :03:
Sounds like insecurity issues to me. :03:
If you are relatively young, tall, strong and rich = yes. Otherwise not, you just want to get laid :D .
Sailor Steve
05-09-11, 01:09 PM
If you are relatively young, tall, strong and rich = yes. Otherwise not, you just want to get laid :D .
I'm not any of those things, and except for young I never have been. That aside, the only thing I've ever seriously lied about was my activities, some of which I wasn't proud of.
DarkFish
05-09-11, 01:10 PM
Men [...] pretend that they are taller than they actually areAnd why would I want to do that?:rotfl2:
Seriously, 1.89m (6 ft 2.5 in) is tall enough;)
And why would I want to do that?:rotfl2:
Seriously, 1.89m (6 ft 2.5 in) is tall enough;) You may grow up some more, I may use binoculars to look down on you, :O:
And why would I want to do that?:rotfl2:
Seriously, 1.89m (6 ft 2.5 in) is tall enough;)
I´m 1,98m but would very much like to make more money than I actually do.
I´m 1,98m but would very much like to make more money than I actually do. Everything is not just about length and money, but "some" may suggest that length may play a role, :D
Everything is not just about length and money, but "some" may suggest that length may play a role, :D
Indeed :haha: . Shall we not enter in details about it ok?
Indeed :haha: . Shall we not enter in details about it ok? It feels as if the thread is entitled "hot" as it is, without any details, :O:
AVGWarhawk
05-09-11, 02:02 PM
If you are relatively young, tall, strong and rich = yes. Otherwise not, you just want to get laid :D .
In part, yes.
At one time I'd tell'em I'm hung like a light switch. I never got many dates when I said that. :oops:
Jimbuna
05-09-11, 02:15 PM
In part, yes.
At one time I'd tell'em I'm hung like a light switch. I never got many dates when I said that. :oops:
Me neither...I used to compare it to a swans neck with a kittens head at the end...they never hung around long :DL
Yes, could be a likely explanation :hmm2:
For my own experience and observation, it is easy to lie to people you don't know - they mean nothing to you so why should they matter? Lying to strangers is easy and probably quite commonplace. Motivation varies from self preservation to self interest, generally superficial in nature with little in the way of personal consequences for either party.
Lying to someone you know is more complex. For friends, it varies in severity but still matches lying to strangers in motivation and consequences, offset by knowledge of the person and how much the social bonds could be damaged as a result.
Lying to someone you love is a flagrant denial of those feelings from either side of the relationship (ie loving someone, or being loved yourself). For me it is something I cannot do and never have been able to, even when perhaps it would have been to my advantage to do so.
I don't mean those superficial 'white lies' that serve merely to grease the social wheels and in effect more clearly delineate your bonds in a relationship -
her: does my bum look big in this?
him: no.
She looks for reassurance from someone who's opinion is important to her, but the truth is less so than the response, whilst he thinks the question is empty but responds with a positive because he knows that is what she wants to hear from him.
The 'Lie of Omission' is probably the worst in a relationship - it undermines the very best of the other person and bolsters the self-righteousness of the reasoning for the lie in the first place.
Omitting to tell the truth is still just a lie, the only difference is that it is more subtle and complete a lie than the others - the lie is simultaneous: you lie to the other person and yourself.
Perhaps it is because I'm a bloke - and therefore have no intimate experience of being involved with another bloke, thus my reasoning is skewed by only seeing this in women - but women lie more often and more completely than men, particularly when they believe a relationship has failed - it can be months before they will act on their belief and in the mean time the lie of omission is king. Motivation is simple and starts at the beginning - self preservation and self interest.
For this, I believe the old stereotypes are correct - men are basically quite simple in their nature and interest, whilst women are the exact opposite.
But I can simplify this: people lie /end.
Jimbuna
05-09-11, 03:57 PM
....and on the internet, hiding behind a monitor, it is the easiest act of them all :cool:
http://img46.imageshack.us/img46/9652/wizardbehindcurtain.jpg
frau kaleun
05-09-11, 04:51 PM
And why would I want to do that?:rotfl2:
Seriously, 1.89m (6 ft 2.5 in) is tall enough;)
The nurses I have worked with say that in their experience men will exaggerate their own height by about 2 in, almost without exception. This happens daily in our offices, when patients come in to see doctor the first thing that happens is the nurse taking or retaking their vital info, which includes not only asking a patient their height but also taking an accurate measurement of it.
My funniest personal experience w/r/t this issue was when I met up in person with a guy I'd met online, in his profile he'd listed his height as 5 ft 7 in. Now generally I like taller men but I don't have a problem with a guy being closer to my own height. I do however have a problem with a guy lying about it, lol, this guy showed up to meet me and I am 5'6" wearing flats and he practically had to tilt his neck back to make eye contact. :haha:
That aside, the only thing I've ever seriously lied about was my activities, some of which I wasn't proud of.
You too!!:oops:
DarkFish
05-09-11, 06:08 PM
The nurses I have worked with say that in their experience men will exaggerate their own height by about 2 in, almost without exception. This happens daily in our offices, when patients come in to see doctor the first thing that happens is the nurse taking or retaking their vital info, which includes not only asking a patient their height but also taking an accurate measurement of it.Most I ever (and very seldom) do is round my height to 1.90m. But it's like 2 years ago since I last measured myself, so I may easily have grown a cm (.4 in) in the meantime.
Also, personally I find "1.89 m" to sound a bit tougher/cooler than "1.90m". The image I've got in my head of people in the 1.90s is that of a slim beanstalk (tends to be true, most people I know that are longer than me weigh less (and I definitely ain't fat)) In the high ranges of the 1.80s I generally think of a strong, broad-shouldered guy.
My funniest personal experience w/r/t this issue was when I met up in person with a guy I'd met online, in his profile he'd listed his height as 5 ft 7 in. Now generally I like taller men but I don't have a problem with a guy being closer to my own height. I do however have a problem with a guy lying about it, lol, this guy showed up to meet me and I am 5'6" wearing flats and he practically had to tilt his neck back to make eye contact. :haha:lol :rotfl2:
For my own experience and observation, it is easy to lie to people you don't know - they mean nothing to you so why should they matter? Lying to strangers is easy and probably quite commonplace. Motivation varies from self preservation to self interest, generally superficial in nature with little in the way of personal consequences for either party.
Lying to someone you know is more complex. For friends, it varies in severity but still matches lying to strangers in motivation and consequences, offset by knowledge of the person and how much the social bonds could be damaged as a result.
Lying to someone you love is a flagrant denial of those feelings from either side of the relationship (ie loving someone, or being loved yourself). For me it is something I cannot do and never have been able to, even when perhaps it would have been to my advantage to do so.
I don't mean those superficial 'white lies' that serve merely to grease the social wheels and in effect more clearly delineate your bonds in a relationship -
her: does my bum look big in this?
him: no.
She looks for reassurance from someone who's opinion is important to her, but the truth is less so than the response, whilst he thinks the question is empty but responds with a positive because he knows that is what she wants to hear from him.
The 'Lie of Omission' is probably the worst in a relationship - it undermines the very best of the other person and bolsters the self-righteousness of the reasoning for the lie in the first place.
Omitting to tell the truth is still just a lie, the only difference is that it is more subtle and complete a lie than the others - the lie is simultaneous: you lie to the other person and yourself.
Perhaps it is because I'm a bloke - and therefore have no intimate experience of being involved with another bloke, thus my reasoning is skewed by only seeing this in women - but women lie more often and more completely than men, particularly when they believe a relationship has failed - it can be months before they will act on their belief and in the mean time the lie of omission is king. Motivation is simple and starts at the beginning - self preservation and self interest.
For this, I believe the old stereotypes are correct - men are basically quite simple in their nature and interest, whilst women are the exact opposite.
But I can simplify this: people lie /end. Some people exaggerate when it comes to describing himself, and therefore, uncertainty is a close explanation for this, I myself think I am average in most cases, when it comes to what is relevant, so for me I see it is natural to be who I am, which is an essential personal property, if you ask me.
Sailor Steve
05-10-11, 01:00 AM
My funniest personal experience w/r/t this issue was when I met up in person with a guy I'd met online, in his profile he'd listed his height as 5 ft 7 in. Now generally I like taller men but I don't have a problem with a guy being closer to my own height. I do however have a problem with a guy lying about it, lol, this guy showed up to meet me and I am 5'6" wearing flats and he practically had to tilt his neck back to make eye contact. :haha:
5 ft 8-1/4 in. I normally don't mention the quarter-inch. When I was younger I actually got to 5 ft 8-3/4, and I did indeed claim to be five-nine. Until I married a woman who was five-ten. She had long arms and liked to put things on shelves I couldn't reach without a chair. She also liked to wear heels, and I quickly got used to having her literally look down on me. On the other hand she weight a paltry 120 lbs and I could easily throw her over my shoulder.
My friend and bandmate Charles is only 5'5", and next to him onstage I look like a giant. Everything is relative, and I've learned to live with the fact that it is what it is.
Penguin
05-10-11, 05:55 AM
I am 1,20m tall (4feet), have no income and are still a virgin...:oops:
....and on the internet, hiding behind a monitor, it is the easiest act of them all :cool:
I think most people sit in front of the monitor....:O:
Seriuosly, I never got the point of virtual bragging in the web, what's the gratification? To earn virtual jealousy? :88)
My funniest personal experience w/r/t this issue was when I met up in person with a guy I'd met online, in his profile he'd listed his height as 5 ft 7 in. Now generally I like taller men but I don't have a problem with a guy being closer to my own height. I do however have a problem with a guy lying about it, lol, this guy showed up to meet me and I am 5'6" wearing flats and he practically had to tilt his neck back to make eye contact. :haha:
I once had a girlfriend who was 3.5 inches taller than me, we always needed a curb around to kiss good-bye...:DL
Would you please use the metric system? :O:
Would you please use the metric system? :O: Such measurements are not available on this board, :o
Penguin
05-10-11, 10:07 AM
oh, many moons ago I've heard about this new fancy stuff, called "meter" - I think it's less than a stadium...
Sailor Steve
05-10-11, 10:10 AM
Would you please use the metric system? :O:
No.
Let me rephrase.
Hell no.
:D
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