What's the funniest joke you've played.

[Armistead]

Getting ready for school reunion...30 years..er. I was reminded of the joke my friend Greg and I pulled. It was going to be our senior prank.

I guess they still do it, but the entire high school would gather in the auditorium for assembly for different things, but this was to watch the band put on a show.

In a back hallway there was an access door to the rafters above the stage, so we crawled up there on the catwalk. With us we took a big bag of feathers from a pillow and a rubber chicken on a rope.

With all grades in, several hundred people, the band started. We waited for awhile, then started dropping one feather at a time every few minutes. Seemed no one noticed for a while, but finally band members started looking up and a few giggles on faces. We would drop a few more and could hear laughs..

It was time to escape, so the rubber chicken on the rope was let go and swung hitting several in the band and we dumped the whole bag of feathers..Mass laughter...

We didn't escape, good old Coach was looking through the access door. He was laughing stating he knew we were up there. We hid behind ducts. He finally got a flashlight and came in and spotted us...He was cool, laughing, said one of the funniest things he'd ever seen. Course he knew pranks and the first feather that fell teachers were already blocking us in.

The band went on. Our punishment was the VP paddled us in front of all in the assembly. Worse for Greg, when the VP hit him the first lick..he laughed, trying to be cool. The next lick with the thick wood paddle was damn hard.. Greg said clearly " Gawd damn that hurt...he got suspended 3 days for cussing. I just took it calmly. I guess if he did that today he would be arrested.

As far as I know we were the only two people to ever get paddled in high school and we never heard the end of it.

[Jimbuna]

I'd better not relay my worst joke/prank...not on here anyways.

The best one I had played on me was being handcuffed to a concrete rubbish bin in my towns main shopping area...with my trousers and underwear around my ankles.

[Tchocky]

The best one I had played on me was being handcuffed to a concrete rubbish bin in my towns main shopping area...with my trousers and underwear around my ankles.

But aside from that, the 2006 Subsim Meet was a success!

[Armistead]

I'd better not relay my worst joke/prank...not on here anyways.

The best one I had played on me was being handcuffed to a concrete rubbish bin in my towns main shopping area...with my trousers and underwear around my ankles.

Thanks for leaving out the part about the gay man....:oops:

[Jimbuna]

But aside from that, the 2006 Subsim Meet was a success!

Thanks for leaving out the part about the gay man....:oops:

LOL :DL

http://img808.imageshack.us/img808/1654/men61.gif

[Oberon]

Heh, I don't know about myself, but I know of one that my dad played once.

Him and a mate of his had to stack some chairs up on the stage at his school, so they stacked them all so that they all lent on one stack of chairs at the end of the stage and then tied a piece of string to the nearby door. They then retired to the rafters above the stage and waited for someone to open the door and watch the whole lot go falling down.

Where my stepfather used to work at a manufacturing plant they all used to have to bring in their own mugs, and there started a time when people would start smashing other peoples mugs or other hijinks. One chap had a mug with a car logo on it, and he was very proud of it. So when the mug got its inevitable smash they cut out the logo very carefully and then placed the remains of the mug on his desk with the logo on top. :haha: Another chap had a hole cut in the bottom of the mug and then a grease of sorts put in so it was watertight. The guy poured in his tea and then the grease melted and bye bye tea :haha:

As for myself...well...aside from downloading a little screensaver that emulates a BSOD and installing it on the other halfs computer, I'm a relatively boring chap. ;)

[Ducimus]

I dunno about funniest, but this ranks up there:

Two foot zip tie, on a truck's drive shaft.

Think about that for a moment. :arrgh!:

[GoldenRivet]

Hard to narrow it down to funniest... also my jokes can tend to be cruel LOL

I once put a 5 foot long coiled up rubber boa constrictor in my dads toilet and let the lid down... he went to take a leak. Didn't know he could move that fast.

Shortly after watching 28 weeks later My wife went to take the trash out. I went outside through another door and hid behind a car parked along her route. When she walked by i made my best zombie snarling noise which was surprisingly 28 weeks later cast-worthy. The ensuing scream she let out echoed throughout the entire neighborhood.

When my sister was little - perhaps 8 years old - she insisted on watching the Stephen King movie Cats Eye. The part of the film that terrified her most was the Troll sequence (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJM2jgPe6Ew). The troll had little bells on it's hat and would sneak across the room and steal the sleeping child's breath - killing her. anyhow, when the movie was over i grabbed a small hand full of little bells and hid under her bed. she then went to bed for the night and i waited for a few minutes and one by one i started rolling those little bells across the floor. she didnt make a sound. I ran out of little bells so i shimmied out from under the bed and turned the light on assuming she had fallen asleep before i could play my cruel joke. When i looked at her she had the covers up to her nose and her eyes were as big around as dinner plates. :o hahaha words came out of her little 8 year old mouth that would make a sailor blush.

thats all i can think of now, though there are hundreds more

[Armistead]

Once why my brother was on vacation I put a copperhead snake skin I found in his house. I bet he looked for 24 hours. I let it go for one night, said they got no sleep, so I took pity and told him.

[GoldenRivet]

Once why my brother was on vacation I put a copperhead snake skin I found in his house. I bet he looked for 24 hours. I let it go for one night, said they got no sleep, so I took pity and told him.

HARSH LOL

i would be on pins and needles if someone did that to me.

i hate snakes.

I was walking through the woods hunting when i was 17. I felt something squish under my heel, felt like a big frog or something... i was disgusted and looked at the heel of my foot without taking weight off of it.

there was about 4 feet of rattlesnakes sticking out from the heel of my boot. I was standing right on his head.

fortunately it was pretty cold and he wasnt very active. I leapt forward like jumping off a land mine. the snake stood up, flexed his jaw a bit and we headed in opposite directions.

I didnt crap my pants... i dont know how i refrained from that. Probably because my butt hole puckered up hard enough to swallow most of my pants in one gulp.

[Bakkels]

I didnt crap my pants... i dont know how i refrained from that. Probably because my butt hole puckered up hard enough to swallow most of my pants in one gulp.

Well, you certainly have a way of graphically expressing your fear. Thanks for the image :x
Great story though:03:

[magic452]

I was working on a construction job back in the early 70's.
One of the hands just bought a new Toyota car and was barging about the great gas mileage.

Had the job sight lube truck stop by his car every day for about a week and put in about a gallon of gas. He didn't drive far to work and was astounded when he figured out his mileage. Something like 70 MPG.

The next week we put no gas in. The next week the lube guy siphoned out about a half gallon.

The poor guy didn't know what the heck happened to his gas mileage. :damn:

Same guy same job. We put a jack under the rear axle and just lifted the car up enough for one rear tire to clear the ground. Uneven dirt parking lot so he didn't notice. Put the car in gear and of course it didn't move. " I think I blew the clutch" he said.

Magic

[Armistead]

I'll never forget on a jobsite once a guy went into a port-a-john. His "friends" padlocked him in there and threw firecrackers down the exhaust.
They then turned it over, chained it to a backhoe and pulled him around the jobsite a few minutes. The guys was screaming and other workers stepped in and got him out. Course all the pee and poop mix together in the john in that blue water. What they didn't know the blue stuff is caustic and burned the hell out of his eyes. All were later fired.

[Armistead]

I was working on a construction job back in the early 70's.
One of the hands just bought a new Toyota car and was barging about the great gas mileage.

Had the job sight lube truck stop by his car every day for about a week and put in about a gallon of gas. He didn't drive far to work and was astounded when he figured out his mileage. Something like 70 MPG.

The next week we put no gas in. The next week the lube guy siphoned out about a half gallon.

The poor guy didn't know what the heck happened to his gas mileage. :damn:

Same guy same job. We put a jack under the rear axle and just lifted the car up enough for one rear tire to clear the ground. Uneven dirt parking lot so he didn't notice. Put the car in gear and of course it didn't move. " I think I blew the clutch" he said.

Magic

Funny, construcion workers play cruel jokes. I had one employee fill up all the inside air vents with blue and red caulk, then turned the air on high. Course when he cranked it...a powder storm. I made him clean it on his own time.

[Growler]

Let's see... which statutes of limitations are expired...

I had this buddy in high school who went through a period in our 11th grade year of just being a right bastuhd - totally bat-guano nuts for being a prat - he had a car, and a parking spot, so that made him think he was all that and a bag of chips.

One day in the Spring, several classmates and I, working together, decided it was time to knock him down a peg.

See, he made it a practice to roll into his school spot at the absolute last second before first bell - he had his own spot, so why not? It was a guaranteed parking spot.

Or it was, until I parked my car in it.

Lunch period that day, he walks up and just berates me for taking his spot - he's now been late for the day, and will sit detention that afternoon. He ended up parking at a shopping center down the hill from the school and had to walk in.

Cue part two.

While he sits detention (and after I got my "stern talking to" for parking on school grounds without a parking permit), the "squad" and I went down to the shopping center where he parked and found our friend's yellow VW bug (the old one, not the new one). Together, the lot of us lifted/pushed/pulled that VW behind a dumpster that occupied part of the parking area, which sufficed to leave his little care blocked in until the trash haulers came to empty the dumpster.

He hasn't spoken to me since graduation the next year... I wonder why?

[yubba]

I'm working on this one, I'm a care taker in a warehouse complex, I have a Ham Radio club in the complex, and they want some carpet for a sound studio they are working on, I have aquired a roll of used carpet form a near by mosque, well let's say these guys aren't the greatest fans of Muslims. Number 2, I was a wrestler in highschool I wasn't a fan of our basketball team. 1 coat hanger 1 jar of icy hot x number of jock straps and way too much time on my hands, and let set overnite, you do the math, still too this day I can still hear the screaming.

[nikimcbee]

Back in the day, before caller ID, I used to be the master of phone pranks.

I also used to open a can of kippers and hide it under people's beds:har:.