Post your favourite post of the day!

[Feuer Frei!]

Kaleuns,
thought it might be fun to do this, i invite you to post what is considered in YOUR opinion to be the funniest or most interesting post that was posted here on SUBSIM for the DAY.
It can be in any forum page and you are limited to one choice, per day.
Yes yes, it's harsh i know. :O:
You can post a direct link to the thread that the post was made to add to the context of the post. Or not, up to you.


My choice for the funniest/best post today has to be this:

Don't just click-a-click like some mad man on meth!! :haha:
link to thread: http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=181029

[Freiwillige]

I did a small comedic serious in the SHIII forum for a bit under the title name of Fritz Von TItz. Here was my last one about SHV and all its bugs during its initial release.

Fritz von Titz plays SHV "So the new training tool for our glorious Kreigsmarine is ready?" Fritz sternly asked the programmer who was nervously twitching with some last second mouse clicks to bring the newest Simulation to life. "In SHIII there were no tea cozy's nor white tuxedo's to represent the Great Balz und myself, But Bernard was everywhere! Will this new training tool Have tea cozy's?" "Umm maybe, I think...uhhh I have to call and find out if its in the next patch sir?" was all the poor intimidated man could manage to reply.

As the screen lit up with the scenes of U-boats in all the wonderful detail the CPU could muster fritz grasped his smoldering pipe out of his mouth. "That is quite impressive, Will there be chorus girls?" The programmer glanced up at the amazingly handsom and famous Fritz. "Umm chorus girls her Kaleun?"
Fritz's patience was wearing thin at this point. "Yes the Chorus Girls you swein! How does one expect me to teach my tactics if there are no chorus girls on board the boats so I can demonstrate how I sing to the British!"

The programmer was visibly confused. "But sir this is a U-boat simulator."
"Of course it is my friend. But I have sunk over a hundred billion tons of shipping without firing a shot by singing my Greatest hits to the Tommy's.
Once I am done singing my album (U-boat musik to make love to) the Tommy's always sink there own vessels in my honor. Of course all is not cruel on the high seas I always fill their life rafts with signed copy's of my album and autograph pictures! After all I am a Kaleun not a barbarian!"

As Fritz played the simulator the game suddenly froze and said (Lost connection to UbiPlay) "What is this connection it speaks of, Does it report directly to the Kreigsmarine? To Admiral Doenitz himself?" "No great Kaleun, It connects to an Ubisoft server to make sure that the Game is not stolen."

"Yes this seems a good idea as the Tommys are always stealing our secrets! as this defense seems good enough to stop us from training than it should stop the tommys from stealing our training and knowing how we train!" The programmer looking even more confused just cocked his head and looked up at Fritz. "Yes its brilliant, If we aren't training then the Tommys cant create counter measures against that for what we never trained for!"

The Programmer just shrugged off Fritz's assault on common sense and went on to explain the Manual. Fritz's eyebrow cocked "So the manual doesn't teach you how to play the Sim? Great now if Tommy steals the manual he cannot figure out how to use our Sim what cannot be played so that he could create counter tactiks against that for what we cannot train for!"

The programmer just bashed his head into the keyboard in resignation.

Fritz puffed on his pipe one last time and reached down into his bag. "Here is an autographed photo for your wall, I will inform Berlin that this incomplete Sim is complete so that we can quickly not begin our training for which the tommy cannot begin to learn from the manual about the Sim that cannot be played against us."

At this point Fritz began to confuse himself. Surely if he could not make sense of it then the Allies would be twice as lost.

"Her Kaleun the Sim is working again would you like to try walking through your boat and talking to your crew?"

"Sorry but if they aren't the scantily clad Chorus girls I am used too than there is no allure for me. Make that priority for your next patch!"

"But her Kaleun don't you want to start the training for that which you can only hardly hope to finish?" The programmer questioned.

"No you bird brain, I have SHIII for that!" :arrgh!: "And get that Tea cozy modeled in 3D or Balz will have a fit!"

[Freiwillige]

Oh come on I know its a long read but its funny trust me!:yep:

[Jimbuna]

Nothing ever beats your own humour :smug:

Saw my mate outside the Doctor's today looking really worried.
"What's the matter?" I asked.
"I've got the big C,"he said.
"What, cancer?"
"No, dyslexia."

http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showpost.php?p=1616041&postcount=27

[Freiwillige]

Jimbuna, My fritz series is so well written that I'm going to turn it into a movie!

Re-read what I once wrote and you will understand that which cannot be understood! Understand? Thought so!

[Freiwillige]

Another Classic and very :har:

Fritz von Titz starring in "Broadway on der boot!" The look outs were discussing the darkness of the night and how fortunate they were to almost hit England without a single submarine sighting when one of the lookouts spots something....something real close!

"whats that, You see that about 50 yards out?"
The other lookout is frozen as the realization of what might be lurking crawled up his spine.
"Quick hit the lights!"

Off in the distance a distinctly German accented voice replied "Did zomebody zay hit ze lights!?"

With that all the tankers spot light blared at once onto the German submarine a stones throw a way.

What they saw that night left them in shock. It was a German submarine pulled along side with show girls arm to arm 20 on each side of the tower and in the tower itself was a man decked out in a white tuxedo and top hat and on the bow was a full orchestra!

"Lookout he's got something in his hand!" Screamed one of the lookouts.

Then softly but growing louder the musik started

"Its...Its...a microphone?"

"Welkommen mein freunds to ze ocean show!" Fritz let out

With that Fritz began to sing his heart out and the chorus girls began kickstepping! Wolf whistles from the merchant were almost as loud as the orchestra as everybody began jumping and jiving to the Jazz tunes Fritz belted out.

Hours passed as he dueted with a pretty blond and swung of the ladder rail to pull of the most impressive tap routine ever done on a U-boat!

Finally after being passing champagne from a life raft Fritz hit his last song as the sun was getting ready to rise in the foggy distance.


"Danke, Danke, Yer too much!" as Fritz bowed to the applause.
In his honer the merchantmen took to the life boats and set off charges sending the 15k tanker to the bottom.

"This Brings our total to 120k this patrol and not yet a shot fired!" Fritz said to his watch officer with a sly smile.

[Feuer Frei!]

No offence but, is there a possibility we can keep this to the best post of the DAY at SUBSIM?
Secondly, one post per member? Per day?

So eg: post your fave post that happened today? In any of the forums here?

[Feuer Frei!]

And with that plea, i offer my second contribution of the day, which was actually posted yesterday, but i'm posting it today:

Then a toast my good man! To duty, and manners. Good day.

My good friend 4Para :up:

link to thread:
http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=181154

[Freiwillige]

Oh my mistake, I misunderstood the intent of the original post. Sorry for the confusion. I'm out! :salute:

[Feuer Frei!]

Oh my mistake, I misunderstood the intent of the original post. Sorry for the confusion. I'm out! :salute:
Aww man, don't go out like that :O:
Seriously though, no probs, all good.
You know, you can nominate yourself too.

[Feuer Frei!]

The physics are working in SH5, so after a year of more you may end washed up on shore somewhere by the currents, wind. You will need a bit more patience than usual and maybe some extra food and water. Start learn fishing and pray for rain. Keep us updated :DL
After a member reported his Sub out of action, stranded in the middle of the sea and not fixable.