The recession hits everybody

[August]

The Recession hits everybody.....

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally...

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline and got a call center in Pakistan. When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

Merry Christmas everybody! :salute:

[Madox58]

Umm............
:hmmm:
Did they mention how much driveing the Truck paid?
:haha:

[razark]

Did they mention how much driveing the Truck paid?

A lifetime supply of everything, of course.

[GoldenRivet]

My bank has this new feature.

you can send a text message with your account number and it responds with a text message of your bank balance.






i hardly think "LOL" being part of the reply is appropriate. :D

[Castout]

:haha: Pretty funny stuff

[mookiemookie]

:rotfl2:

[Madox58]

To save money?
Get the app that takes voice and turns it into a text message.
Then get the app that turns a text message into a voice!

Umm......
Am I the only one that sees the Madness in this?
The absolute 'WTF are you thinking!' kind of thing?
:hmmm:
:har:

WAY back?
We called those Phone calls.

[CaptainHaplo]

Umm............
:hmmm:
Did they mention how much driveing the Truck paid?
:haha:


I hear its something like 72 virgins.

*I also hear they all look like Jimbuna though.....:har:

[Madox58]

I saw him in his Undies!!!
:o
I was blinded for Weeks!,,, Ok hours!,,,, Would you believe for several seconds?
:haha:
Actually?
It was one of the funniest, most memorable, moments of my life.
:rock:
And I have pictures!!!!
:yeah:

[MaddogK]

I hear its something like 72 virgins.

*I also hear they all look like Jimbuna though.....:har:

I heard it was 71 goats and a mirror.

[Sailor Steve]

:rotfl2:Good Stuff!

I hear its something like 72 virgins.

*I also hear they all look like Jimbuna though.....:har:
Don't your read these threads? Some time go, right here on Subsim, the truth was revealed: It's actually one 72-year-old virgin!

[the_tyrant]

you know what really sad?
I bet on Christmas day everybody will be here buying drinks for their forum buddies and not actually drinking with their real buddies.

anyways, 1 round of drinks on me
:()1::()1:

[Armistead]

the only time I drink is on the forum with you guys:woot: