Let's hear your bad date stories.

[Armistead]

Course I've been married a long time. This came to mind because I ran into a girl I dated in my teens last week..talking early 80's. Our first date I borrowed my Dad's new LTD. They were building the new Greensboro airport at the time and that was the place to park, so late night we ended up there.

First we parked on the large cut gravel road. Things were going good so I pulled off into a field. When we tried to leave, we were stuck. I pushed why giving her directions with the gas, door open, she floored it and covered the inside with mud, me with mud. Before long sunk to the door in mud, both covered in mud. No cells then, but I hunted all around there and we walked about an hour to a friends house. We got back with his 4 wheel drive. Some idiot had busted out all the glass and knifed the tires.

Then my friend about ripped the bumper off trying to get it out. We finally went to his house and about 4 AM I called my Dad who was still up wanting to know where I was.....It was bad.

Still, seeing her, we had the best laugh and it all came back like yesterday.

[The Third Man]

always ends with ..................................NO! :damn: :D

[onelifecrisis]

If that was your worst date you've had it easy!

My worst wasn't really a date as such. I met a girl at a party. She was really hot. Out of my league, actually. But for some reason she invited me to her room that night for "coffee". I couldn't quite believe my luck. Of course I accepted. But while we were having "coffee" I discovered - rather abruptly - that my stomach wasn't up to the job of holding down the 8 cans of McCaffrey's that I'd consumed while chatting her up.

[GoldenRivet]

My worst dating story:

For legal purposes. the following events may be either real or fictional. I'll not confess either way. Enjoy this real or imagined story.

;)

I was 22 years old just out of school when I met this beautiful, voluptuous big breasted young blond and we hit it off. Seemed like a girl with a good level head on her shoulders, she was smart, witty with a good career and she explained that She was a 21 year old nurse at a major local hospital and had just finished nursing school.

We eventually went back to my place and shagged a few times throughout the night. As it started to get late, she asked me to call her tomorrow, slipped me her number and she showed herself to the door and went home.

the next day i called her up around 1:00pm hoping to get some lunch and some more ... well you know... and an older woman answered the phone.

I asked for the girl by name and the woman informed me that she wasn't home right now.

I asked "Oh, do you know what time she gets off work at the hospital?"

the woman's reply "Work at the hospital? She doesn't work... She's only in 10th grade."

:doh:

the lengthy silence that followed that statement tipped off the woman that i had NO idea what the hell was going on and the woman simply said

"... Sounds like the two of you have a lot to talk about."

and i hung up.

She called me around 4pm... for obvious reasons I told her I couldn't see her anymore. :shifty:

[Krauter]

...
:har: :rotfl2: :rotfl2: :rotfl2: :rotfl2:

That is.. amazing. :haha:

[antikristuseke]

How does getting laid constitute a bad date?

[GoldenRivet]

How does getting laid constitute a bad date?

it doesnt.

until its a 22 year old man getting laid by a 16 year old girl below the age of consent which lends the very real possibility that YOU could be getting laid by a man named Bucky in prison for such a thing around here. and then, when you get out of prison you get to register as a sex offender and walk door to door in your neighborhood and explain to everyone that you're a child molester in the court's eyes and that you now live next door to them (yes... even if she lied to you about her age etc)

thankfully, it never came to that.but there are guys out there in the same situation that arent so lucky

[antikristuseke]

I am assuming that did not happen. But I know what finding out something like that does to ones opinion of oneself, from first hand experience, was not pleasant.

[GoldenRivet]

I am assuming that did not happen.

I'm fortunate - legally speaking - that most people fall into that category.

[Growler]

:timeout: Why don't you have a seat over there....
:D

[GoldenRivet]

:timeout: Why don't you have a seat over there....
:D

I knew i shouldn't have told that real or possibly imagined story. :har:

So lets see some of you jerks top it! :haha:

[Growler]

Rivet, you've been in this world long enough to know those important little words...


"Under advice of counsel, the witness wishes to invoke the protections provided by the Fifth Amendment..."

[nikimcbee]

GR before date:
http://www.fatwallet.com/attachments/9633_quagmire_01.jpg

GR after date:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_nA8t7ZFEOBI/Sb-oYEh1YVI/AAAAAAAAAVU/7-LRMUZCg_8/s400/quagmire.gif

That would explain the orange shag carpet, the Micheal Bolton CDs, and the disco ball in your plane:hmmm:

[GoldenRivet]

HAHAHA

I had a friend one night that went home with a woman... only to find out it wasnt a woman.

:doh:

A navy friend of mine tells a story where he went with some friends of his to a donkey show. one of the boys in the group excused himself to the restroom. while he was gone the girl he was sitting with at the table went and did the donkey show and came back and sat down at the table.

the friend came back from the restroom with "what'd i miss".

nobody in the group said anything, and he ended up going back to that girls place!!!!

[antikristuseke]

It would have been even worse if "hers" was bigger:D

[nikimcbee]

Course I've been married a long time. This came to mind because I ran into a girl I dated in my teens last week..talking early 80's. Our first date I borrowed my Dad's new LTD. They were building the new Greensboro airport at the time and that was the place to park, so late night we ended up there.

First we parked on the large cut gravel road. Things were going good so I pulled off into a field. When we tried to leave, we were stuck. I pushed why giving her directions with the gas, door open, she floored it and covered the inside with mud, me with mud. Before long sunk to the door in mud, both covered in mud. No cells then, but I hunted all around there and we walked about an hour to a friends house. We got back with his 4 wheel drive. Some idiot had busted out all the glass and knifed the tires.

Then my friend about ripped the bumper off trying to get it out. We finally went to his house and about 4 AM I called my Dad who was still up wanting to know where I was.....It was bad.

Still, seeing her, we had the best laugh and it all came back like yesterday.


You had me at LTD:har:.

[nikimcbee]

My story is simple: here's the cliff note version:

In my new girlfriend's bed room:woot: (just to clarify, it was NOT Buna or Reece) anywhoo, Her shirt was missing, my shirt was missing, when in barges mom!!!!
http://mccormicky.com/tiresome/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/homer-doh.jpg


She just quietly closed the door and didn't say a thing.:oops:

I think we both re-defined the colo(u)r red from blushing:oops:.:haha:

[Weiss Pinguin]

Wish I could've been at their dinner table that night :haha:

[GoldenRivet]

mcBee i can top that.


Im laying in my bed getting an HJ from my girlfriend when my dad walked in :haha:

he didnt know what to say or do so he just backed out of the room and closed the door.

[nikimcbee]

mcBee i can top that.


Im laying in my bed getting an HJ from my girlfriend when my dad walked in :haha:

he didnt know what to say or do so he just backed out of the room and closed the door.
:haha: touche


giggity

[Jimbuna]

mcBee i can top that.


Im laying in my bed getting an HJ from my girlfriend when my dad walked in :haha:

he didnt know what to say or do so he just backed out of the room and closed the door.

Ditto :DL

[Penguin]

:har: great thread, some hilarious stories here

See the pre-cell era had some disadvantages (not being able to call your parents when you're stuck in the mud), but also some advantages (calling a girls home on a landline and finding out that she's underage :haha:)


Im laying in my bed getting an HJ from my girlfriend when my dad walked in :haha:

he didnt know what to say or do so he just backed out of the room and closed the door.

I had a simular situation, only I was getting a bj and my sister walked in - forgot to lock my door. So I shouted at her to gtfo and as she didn't react I threw the closest thing that I could reach at her direction.
Unfortunately it was a knife, didn't hit her luckily, but my gf was a little peed off. "Did you just throw a knife at your sis?" - "Hey it wasn't my fault. Let's continue!" - "Forget it!" So she didn't finish....:wah:

[I-25]

i had my girl push my car more than once because of a dead battery.. i would of done it be she didn't know stick:down: she did know the other "stick" tough:arrgh!:

[antikristuseke]

My own worst experience so far has been being in bed with a lady of the oposite sex and then during doggy my cat came in and clawed my testicles. Didnt need stiches, but there is a slight scar on my scrotum and I will never forget that painful night.:nope:

[GoldenRivet]

See the pre-cell era had some disadvantages (not being able to call your parents when you're stuck in the mud), but also some advantages (calling a girls home on a landline and finding out that she's underage :haha:)

Or you and your GF are on the landline chatting it up when the conversation starts to get sexy.

so sexy in fact that her mothers voice chimes in

"Ok thats enough! this conversation is over right now young lady you hang up the phone and come down stairs this instant!"

:o *Click*

[GoldenRivet]

The night i lost my virginity.

I told my folks i was going to spend the night at my buddy's house and i'd be back in the morning. mind you that this is a friend i had not seen in several weeks.

So i packed up a sleeping bag and loaded it into the trunk and headed to pick up my GF.

we drove to a secluded wooded road and hopped out and went about 20 yards back into the woods and put down the sleeping bag and went after it.

When all was said and done we got up and headed to the car.

Standing next to it was my old man with his angry face. He didnt need to say anything.

He drove the girl home, and we went back to the house for a talk.

as it turns out, my "buddy" i was supposed to be spending the night with had coincidentally driven down the same secluded country road and saw my car parked on the side of the road with nobody in it.

apparently he checked it out and drove to my house to see why my car was broke down on the side of the road.

he rang the doorbell and got my dad - you can guess the rest

[Weiss Pinguin]

lady of the oposite sex
So that would make her... wait... :hmmm:

[antikristuseke]

That would be a refrence to Allo, Allo! you pillock.:88)

[Penguin]

I am today a boring, old fart who is in a long-term-relationship, but anyway I have a past. :03:
As y'all probably know we don't have the institutionalized concept of dating like the americans have, but I can contribute another story.

It was the summer of '91 or '92 and we were having a party at the lake. There was this girl who I was after for a long time and finally we both took a walk.
We laid down on a meadow talked, got a little tender and watched the stars in our little pice of sky. She said to me that I would be one of the most romantic persons she had ever met. (inner voice: 'Did she just said romantic to me? I am the only other person here so she probably meant me. No way. *inner laughter*') "Well, I just like to look sometimes a little into the sky"
So I tried to get a little further, she then said "well, I don't want to go this far. At least not without being in a steady relationship."
So I replied "Ok, I am up to it. We should try it as a couple" (I really was into her that time, and was willing to give away my bachelor life for her)
She the said "Well, I like you very much, but you are not the right person for me. If you were born in London you would be the perfect guy for me!" :o:o:o

I guess it had something to do with the longitude, she was a little esoteric and much into astrology. At least I was born on the right latitude, but ****: born 300 km too far east.....

I returned to the campfire and tried to drink the pain in little Penguin's heart away, in search for the eternal buzz to forget this magnificent woman...:wah:


looking back today it maybe was only her way to say: sorry, not interested...

[Penguin]

My own worst experience so far has been being in bed with a lady of the oposite sex and then during doggy my cat came in and clawed my testicles. Didnt need stiches, but there is a slight scar on my scrotum and I will never forget that painful night.:nope:

****ing ouch! The thought alone hurts!

[Platapus]

I remember it was our second date where our relationship was really defined. The Frau said those three magical words that really set the tone of our relationship and told me how she really felt.

"That's him, Officer!"

:oops:

[Gargamel]

All "good" stories there guys! LOL

I got two of em for ya:

First is simple and bitter. I forgot the girls name on our first date!! D'oh! I know it now though. Never really talked to her again.... sigh....

Second, back when I was in High school, my girl and I went out 'parking' after a movie. We went up this secluded access road next to a tiny private airport, and parked along a nice wooden split rail fence. It was a nice night so we left the windows open. Well, eventually, I ended up with my butt, naked, sticking up in the air (no more details needed right?), when all of a sudden, there's a big wet warm tongue running up my arse! Girls beneath me, and I can see her tongue..... I whip around and theres this horse with it's head stuck in the window of the car!!!! that kinda ruined the mood for the night.

[GoldenRivet]

Nice

http://th03.deviantart.net/fs11/300W/i/2006/242/d/a/Horse_Tongue_by_risawn.jpg

[[501]Otto]

I remember it was our second date where our relationship was really defined. The Frau said those three magical words that really set the tone of our relationship and told me how she really felt.

"That's him, Officer!"

:oops:
:har::har::har::har:
A classic one:
Wake up in the morning at my girl´s house, and went naked heading to the fridge to realise that her parents came back one day earlier. That "Good morning, sir" from her dad is still one of my worst nightmares. (We were about 22 years old or so)

[NeonSamurai]

Let's try to keep the X rated content to a minimum here please, this isn't the Penthouse mailbag.

[antikristuseke]

I couldn't think of a less explicit way of explaining my experience, my bad.

[Penguin]

First is simple and bitter. I forgot the girls name on our first date!! D'oh! I know it now though. Never really talked to her again.... sigh....


rule #369: never, EVER mix up her name with her sisters name, especially when you're doing something....
one word: painfull

the 2nd story made me spill my beer :rotfl2:

[Platapus]

rule #369: never, EVER mix up her name with her sisters name, especially when you're doing something....
one word: painfull


Hence the terms

"baby"
"sexy girl"
"my love"

and so on have been used by forgetful men for hundreds of years. :know:

[ShadowOps]

...my cat came in and clawed my testicles.

LOL:rotfl2:
Seriously though that sounds a bit painful.

[Penguin]

drinking some beer really helps with the writing and the memories, here's another one (PG12 ;))

The girl with the demonic eyes

I was at a party at a biker's club, some way out of town. Then I saw her again: I had seen here a couple of times in town, but never managed to talk to her. She had the most magic, washed-out blue eyes you could imagine and a stinging look. burning directly into your soul. I called her the girl with the demonic eyes.

So I was sitting in this club and decided to test my luck. I was chatting with her and told her that she had attracted my attention before, and that I call her the girl with the demonic eyes, and that her eyes are the most beautifull that i've ever seen and yada, yada, yada...
She had an interesting, weird aura, looking nice, smelling good and the best: she was also interested in me. :up:
So we exchanged some kisses and I was in a good mood and smiling and talking to her when suddenly: BAM!

It went dark for some seconds, when I could see something I saw her shocked face and saw the assclown running away who just gave me a sucker punch right above my right eyebrow. I knew him from school, had some trouble before, mainly because I threatened a friend of him before.

Anyway: I was not into a fighting mood, not when I just had a good time with her and so I wanted to continue as if nothing happened. Revenge could come later. She said: "You're bleeding" and I realized blood was running down my face. ****! That destroyed it for her. So I was angry and went through the club to look for this guy. I found him, threw a punch at him, but he saw me coming - and I was drunk - so I missed him. We decided to play outside. We went out and wanted to start our thing, but somehow this drew the biker's attention. You don't negotiate when armed bikers tell you to cut it out! :-?
I had luck that witnesses told them that he started the thing and so they threw only him out.
The rest of the evening is foggy, just that I didn't get anything to start again with her. I woke up in an unknown house, some people found me lying on a field, bloody and passed out. So they dragged me home to them. These people became later good friends of mine, so at least the evening had one good result. :)

I only saw the girl once or twice again and then from the distance.
So a big fu to the guy who destroyed my first and only time with the girl with the demonic eyes! :stare: may he rot in pee!

[Penguin]

Hence the terms

"baby"
"sexy girl"
"my love"

and so on have been used by forgetful men for hundreds of years. :know:

true that, man!
However my current girlfriend was also a little po'd when she found out that I also called my ex "baby" :haha:

[antikristuseke]

Not really on topic, but it sort of fits the theme: Girls are like cartons of milk...Each one has a hotness expiration date...Sure the occasional guy will still open the fridge open her up, take a sniff, shrug and take a sip anyway, but it's all down hill from here...

[CaptainMattJ.]

Also on the night I lost my virginity. i dated this girl for 1 year steady, and she was gorgeous. So on her parents anniversary, her parents went out for dinner at a fancy steak dinner. We both knew that tonight was the night. it just felt right.

So we go up to her room and try it out. After all was done (quite roughly, if i may say so myself :D), i went downstairs (naked) to find my clothes. im at the bottom step and i hear, you guessed it, her parents right outside. I didnt have any time to get my clothes so i ran back up the steps, still naked. They headed into the kitchen, and opened the fridge. i figured it was my only chance, so i ran back down and grabbed everything i could and ran back up.

Apparently, Her mother heard me going up the stairs and came out of the kitchen, calling my girlfriend's name. I was near the top when she was really close. so i threw down the close and took the jeans and tried getting them on, but of course i had difficulty.

I almost had them on, and was pulling them up when she reached the landing, scaring the crap outta me. I slipped in the jeans and tumbled down the steps. The jeans curled up at my ankles in the process, and i rolled into her mother, knocking her down.

When i stopped moving, i was lying awkwardly on her legs, and i was completely naked. :doh::doh::doh::oops::oops::oops::oops:

I dont think it gets much worse then that. But, it did. Her father and My Girlfriend walked in at that particular moment. im not even going to mention what came after.

That was the worst/best day of my life.

[onelifecrisis]

Also on the night I lost my virginity. i dated this girl for 1 year steady, and she was gorgeous. So on her parents anniversary, her parents went out for dinner at a fancy steak dinner. We both knew that tonight was the night. it just felt right.

So we go up to her room and try it out. After all was done (quite roughly, if i may say so myself :D), i went downstairs (naked) to find my clothes. im at the bottom step and i hear, you guessed it, her parents right outside. I didnt have any time to get my clothes so i ran back up the steps, still naked. They headed into the kitchen, and opened the fridge. i figured it was my only chance, so i ran back down and grabbed everything i could and ran back up.

Apparently, Her mother heard me going up the stairs and came out of the kitchen, calling my girlfriend's name. I was near the top when she was really close. so i threw down the close and took the jeans and tried getting them on, but of course i had difficulty.

I almost had them on, and was pulling them up when she reached the landing, scaring the crap outta me. I slipped in the jeans and tumbled down the steps. The jeans flew off in the process, and i rolled into her mother, knocking her down.

When i stopped moving, i was lying awkwardly on top of her,my face was in her cleavage, and i was completely naked. :doh::doh::doh::oops::oops::oops::oops:

I dont think it gets much worse then that. But, it did. Her father and My Girlfriend walked in at that particular moment. im not even going to mention what came after.

That was the worst/best day of my life.

No way. You made that up.

[CaptainMattJ.]

No way. You made that up.
well....i DID kinda fabricate the face landing in the clevage (i was sort of laying on her legs), but The rest is absolutely no joke. It was TERRIBLE. I dont think ive ever gotten out of a house faster. i didnt go within 5 Miles of that house for the next three days.

[Armistead]

The night i lost my virginity.

I told my folks i was going to spend the night at my buddy's house and i'd be back in the morning. mind you that this is a friend i had not seen in several weeks.

So i packed up a sleeping bag and loaded it into the trunk and headed to pick up my GF.

we drove to a secluded wooded road and hopped out and went about 20 yards back into the woods and put down the sleeping bag and went after it.

When all was said and done we got up and headed to the car.

Standing next to it was my old man with his angry face. He didnt need to say anything.

He drove the girl home, and we went back to the house for a talk.

as it turns out, my "buddy" i was supposed to be spending the night with had coincidentally driven down the same secluded country road and saw my car parked on the side of the road with nobody in it.

apparently he checked it out and drove to my house to see why my car was broke down on the side of the road.

he rang the doorbell and got my dad - you can guess the rest

It's easy for me to remember losing mine, even at my age my brain still retains a 10 second memory.

[Solace]

http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=177757

[frau kaleun]

Henry Phillips weighs in:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VvIn6vgt-w

[kiwi_2005]

Getting rotten drunk with the brother-in-laws and passing out on our wedding night. To drunk to shag. :DL The ex still reminds me about it after all these years. The marriage was a failure from day one. :har: Shot gun weddings not good :nope:

[Sailor Steve]

I met a girl. We dated. We got married. Had two kids. Got divorced after eleven years.

I guess that qualifies as a bad date.

[Sledgehammer427]

I can only remember one (not dirty) bad date story ever.
(there's way more I know but my brain has this fancy delete button that erases all the stupid things I did for no reason that didn't teach me anything)

I picked up my girlfriend from her house and my drivers side rear brakes were grinding (insert pun about grinding here) so I figured while she did her homework (because I'm an awesome boyfriend and I let the girlfriend do her homework at my place because it's quieter here) I decided to go out and fix my brakes.
The rear disc brake calipers on my car are hinged. there's a pin at the top and a bolt at the bottom. the "majickal Haynes manual" told me to remove the bolt and hinge the brake caliper up away from the disc.
I removed the bolt...
and then sheared the 15 year old pin.
twisted it right off it was so old.
then.
the girlfriends mom calls her, something important. she needs to go back home.
I don't have functioning brakes (because the soft line leading to the caliper was so old that it cracked open and drained my brake fluid) and now my girlfriend needs to get home
so I hotwired my dads chrysler and took her home on time (her mom still likes me...but I don't think she would if she found out I can hotwire cars.)

so not a bad date. but there was about 15 minutes where I was like

ZOMGI'MSOSCREWEDINEEDTOGETHERHOMEANDOMFGI'MGONNADI EBECAUSEHERMOMWILLWRINGMYNECKLIKEAWETTOWEL!
alas. I didn't die.
and I told dad about stealing his car. he understood and said he would have done the same thing.
:|\\

[Jimbuna]

I was on a first date with a girl I'd fancied for a while and the conversation turned to sex. She said, "What's the weirdest thing you've ever done with a girl?"

I said, "To be honest, I've only ever had sex once, so nothing that weird."
She said, "Once! What was her name?"

I said, "Mary something. I couldn't make out her surname."
She said, "Did you meet her in a loud club."

I said, "No. There was a lot of moss on the headstone."

[Penguin]

:rotfl2: nekrophilia never gets old!

[antikristuseke]

Dead girls are easy and frigid at the same time

[ShadowOps]

:agree:only make it facing down ---------v

[Madox58]

I had one BAD date that I can really call a bad date.
A friend and I had our eyes on a couple of really Rad Girls from the next town over.
After many attempts to get them to go out?
We landed a double date.
I borrowed my Moms Car, picked up my friend and headed off to get the Girls.
At 17 years old, we were 'in like Flint!'
It went GREAT!
We all had fun, got along and decided to have future dates.
Then came the time to take the Girls home.
Me driveing with my date close to me.
My Buddy laying down in the back seat with his head in his Girls lap.
All was swell!
Until that freaking curve came up!
:o
The county had put new stone down on that back road that day.
I turned the car to follow the curve.
But the stones ignored me.
To this DAY I still see the road going left, while I'm going straight!
:nope:
Into the ditch, onto the passager side the car went.
(Slideing the whole time)
I grabbed my Girl. (as I always wear a seatbelt and she wasn't)
I KNEW we would miss that telephone pole being we were on ourside slideing!

NOT!!
The Car dropped down to all 4 wheels, HIT the pole dead center,
then the pole fell on us!
Sparks went everywhere!
It was like the 4th of July for a second or two!

End results?
Friend hits the back of the seat and cuts his forehead,
he freaks and starts screaming "My Eye! My EyE!'
I'm calm as hell and try to get him to SHUT UP!
Mostly cause I looked at a tiny cut and to keep the Girls from freaking out also!
I run to a farm house near us, where I get attacked by a big ARSED Dog
and end up with cuts NOT caused by the accident!!

People in the Farm house wake up and start fireing a Shot gun at me!
So the dog is chewing on me, I'm trying to dodge the gun fire, while beating on the dog to get him to let go of my leg.
The people in the house call the Law of course.
After about 5 minutes?
The Law arrives, draws MORE Guns on me and orders me to lay down.
With a Mad Dog chewing my behind?
:o
Are you NUTS?!
So I get chased across the yard, by the dog, and the Law, and the Shot gun welding home owners!
Once I got close enuff to the broken pole and a trashed car with people on the ground?
The Home owners called off the Dog, the Law put thier guns away,
and rescue was undertaken.

All of us were taken to the hospital for minor injuries and released to the Law.

We went from there to the Cop Shop!
The Girls had pipes and such, (which did not go down well back then),
I had some 'Pills' found in the backseat (which were vitamins)
and our Parents were called in to take us home.

So I rate that as a bad Date, Yes.
But it was a Nite I'll never forget!
:har:

[nikimcbee]

She said, "What's the weirdest thing you've ever done with a girl?"


I'd like to know; what's the wierdest thing you've done with an Aussie?
.
.
.
.
.
.
:har:
(see tarjak passed out photo):har:

[Platapus]

I will keep this as PG as I can. If the moderators feel it should be deleted, please accept my apologies and delete it.

(of course with a preface like that, my story is bound to be disappointing) :O:

Back in the mid 80's I was stationed in Omaha Nebraska. A great place to live and a good place to meet nice people. Including one special lady.

I was intimate with this lady when I was living in Omaha. One evening we decided to spend some time together.

She happened to be a little kinky and I was a lot kinky. I had my "toys" with me and we decided to go back to her house to desport ourselves.

When we got to her house, I made sure the front door was locked (scene security; rule 1)

We were then desporting ourselves in her bedroom and everything was going swimmingly. Then I heard the front door open and after what appeared to be about 0.5 seconds later, her bedroom door opened.



Enter the mother :o:o:o:o:o


(now if this were a Penthouse letter, it would have ended much differently with a hot kinky threesome. However this was reality. :nope:)

Judging from the mother's body language and dialogue, it became quickly apparent to me that the mother

1. Did not know that her daughter was kinky
2. Did not know that her daughter was intimate with me
3. Did not understand the concept of Safe, Sane, and Consensual play
4. Did not understand what was going on
5. Was not pleased at all.

Hurried explanations, more hurried untying, and an even more hurried departure quickly followed. It was .... awkward :yep: It was lucky the mother did not have a gun. :yep:

I learned a very important lesson: Find out if your partner's mother has a key to the house and has a habit of just walking in, before starting to play. Door chains are your friend. :yep:

Surprisingly, I did not get a Christmas card from her mother that year. Go figure.

Sadly, this play date also adversely affected my relationship with the lady. I truly regret the embarrassment she suffered in front of her mother. That was not the intent. That was about 25 years ago and I still feel bad for her. She was a special lady.

[CaptainHaplo]

Now see I knew there was a reason I got along with you Platypus.....

I can't speak on bad dates, but since Platypus brings up certain "scening", I will let you guys in on one I had going that was rather embarrassing. No worries moderators, I will not be sexually explicit.

I had built my own waterbox and it was my first time using it. I had designed it so I could just lift the front and let all the water out. This was being done in my basement, nice bare concrete floor. The Pet started to get close to a mental line and I saw it,, so I halted the water going in, reassured her and started to let the water out.... I lift the plexiglass plate up, water starts gushing out, and then I realize - OH CRAP! - there are no DRAINS anywhere on the floor. Now your talking a "box" that holds a fair amount of water, and I had my bench, Hobson's wall, cages, shackles, etc all right there..... Water goes EVERYWHERE.... I'm cussing up a storm inside because outwardly I have to focus on the girl, help her decompress - all while I am cursing myself out at the lack of forethought and the mess I just made. After I had her out and situated, she was still a bit hazy and made a comment about all the water. Had all I could do to keep from being in a bad mood.

So she sat, in warm blankets and nibbling chocolate (good recovery tools from when they are in "subspace") while I am using a big ole squeegie looking thing to "sweep" all the water out the basement door.... :damn:

It was always an outside use only toy after that....

[Krauter]

Question: What is a waterbox.. and what is the use in it?

[Dowly]

mcBee i can top that.


Im laying in my bed getting an HJ from my girlfriend when my dad walked in :haha:

he didnt know what to say or do so he just backed out of the room and closed the door.

Had my ex give me a BJ with my room's door slightly open and my mom in the kitchen (my door was basically in the kitchen). :oops:

As for bad dates, I am proud to announce that I have had none.

Then again, all the numerous times some of my ex's have asked me to go to the pub with them have probably been dates, but I've been there just for the booze. :hmmm:

EDIT: Ow wait, my first date with my longest GF ended with me being too wasted to talk and ended up sleeping in the couch while she watched telly for a bit and left. :DL But then I called her the next day and apologized and we spent the next 4 years together, yay.

[CaptainHaplo]

Question: What is a waterbox.. and what is the use in it?

Info is in your PM box.

[Jimbuna]

Info is in your PM box.

Spoilsport...I was curious too :DL

[Armistead]

Once in my 20's I was cheating on the girl I was living with..yep, bad boy. I met a girl at the gym, she going through divorce, but tech married. My GF went to a horse show so I invited the girl over. I lived in a second floor apt. It was raining, so lil worried my GF might come home, so I called the barn and the man said they indeed left for the horse show.

So, girl comes over. We start having fun, but it's raining hard. Hard to enjoy, cause everytime I heard a car I would have to go look out the window. I didn't want to blow it, but I was worried, cause on the second floor no back door to escape out.

Finally heard car, jump up..it's my GF...crap. What to do..I hid the girl in the large air return against the wall. In my apt it was at floor level. Took the filter out and in she goe's. She is in a panic, but got her in still naked with her clothes and told her I would get GF to leave.

GF comes in, doesn't suspect anything. Usually she will go to store when I ask, but I couldn't get her to leave. I bet that girl stayed in the vent close to an hour before my GF left. I don't know how my GF didn't figure it, I heard in moving in there several times. Very close call, she was frozen when she came out. Course me and her so many close calls..... .

[Penguin]

(several attempts to take young privateer's life in one night)


Elvis ****ing Christ! :o
You must really have pissed off the Grim Reaper so much that he didn't want your company at this night. :DL

[onelifecrisis]

my brain has this fancy delete button that erases all the stupid things I did for no reason that didn't teach me anything

I could really use one of those! Where did you get it?