Missing (BALZ)

[Brag]

21 June 1941
Waiting for Lt. Schulz to return Doenitz paced in his dispatch smoking a cigar.
Finally, Shulz, the duty communications officer returned. "We have queriwd all units. No one has heard from U-123."

"Their last position report was on 21 May. 200 miles northwest of Freetown. Sea calm, operations normal."

"Declare them- Missing in action."
"Jahwhol, Herr Admiral." Schultz clicked his heels and left.

[papa_smurf]

It cant be true!:o

[frau kaleun]

:wah: :wah: :wah: :wah: :wah:

Just when I'd gotten the tank polished! :stare:

[Sailor Steve]

Balz has died and been resurrected more times than I can count.

Well, not died exactly, but had his whole universe destroyed, which can be argued is worse. I suspect he's vacationing on Tahiti or some-such place it should be impossible for him to get to. But after all he's Balz, so nothing is impossible. :sunny:

[Rhodes]

Naaa, this just something to divert our attention. Balz is just enjoying the sun in some non-official shore leave!

[desirableroasted]

I sank a coastal freighter outside Freetown last week. Full of tea-cozies.

I don't know if that means anything...

[Herr-Berbunch]

It's okay, 200 miles NW is around Portuguese-Guinea (nowadays Guinea Bissau), and if you zoom in there is a lovely white-sand beach around Ilha de Orango:

Ilha de Orango

Ilha de Orango is located west of Bubaque and is part of the Orango Islands National Park, together with several other islands. Getting there is half of the adventure as it involves several boat trips before ending in Eticoga on the west coast of Ilha de Orango. From here, you can enter the beautiful park with palm groves and light woodland. Also there are mangrove areas and mud flats exposed at low tide. There is some extraordinary wildlife here including the the rare saltwater species of hippo and crocodile. To add, numerous birds species call this place home and it is also one of the largest green and Ridley turtle-nesting sites on the entire West African coastline.


http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_BNsVXEtR_V0/SxfxahWUH5I/AAAAAAAAAE0/6U-rtS0U_lY/s400/Casamiento_P+N+Orango_Poilao_Bijagos_Guinea+Bissau 0005.jpg
Balz's welcoming committee - But that's not a proper tea-cosy!

[papa_smurf]

I sank a coastal freighter outside Freetown last week. Full of tea-cozies.

I don't know if that means anything...

We now know where Herr Balz gets his tea cozies from, either that or hes gone into tea cozy production:hmmm:

[ralphnader23]

Perhaps Bernard switched the radio receiver off again? Or perhaps there are a few new crew members that need some intensive hoochie woochie training? :hmmm::hmmm::hmmm:

[Rhodes]

I think Bernard braged about his unique skills of electronics and was assigned to repair the radio...:hmmm:

[Brag]

Herr and Frau Schmenk who live in Darmstadt received a Red Cross postcard dated 28 June 1941.

Liebe Vati und Mutti,
I am alive in Lisbon.
Your loving son,
Lt. Schmenk

On the same day the Red Cross worker visited Schmenk, A kind Portuguese nurse brought him a new notebook so he could write from his hospital bed.

A Portuguese doctor loaned him his fountain pen.
Though his hand was not too steady, Schmenk began to write about the great tragedy.

We left Lorient at 10 in the morning of 02 May 1941 to patrol NW of Freetown. The transit to our patrol area was uneventful. On 18 May our commander sent a radio message to the Freetown Port Captain, it read something like this:

Dear English Port Captain,
Kindly inform us when your next northbound convoy is scheduled to leave your fine harbour. I would hate to miss it.

A U-boot.

The British never answered.

On 20 May, at 2314 hours, I was on watch. It was a fine tropical night and pleasure to be on the bridge. Without warning we were enveloped in a bright white light.
"Alaaaaarm," I yelled and range the emergency bell. We were pelted by machinegun fire and an airplane roared overhead.
We dove without receiving much damage. An hour later, we came up to periscope depth- The airplane was gone. At least, we couldn't see it.

Shortly after we surfaced, a tropical squall gave us shelter. Capt Balz ordered full speed ahead to get away from the area the enemy had spotted us.
"How in the bloody hoochie woochie could they find us at night?" Balz raged above the intensity of the squall. " From now on, we recharge batteries with ballast semi-flooded. Not one centimetre above six meters," He instructed the LI. and watch officers.


Lt. Schmenk´s gripping story will continue anon.

[Brag]

The following day was typical doldrums weather. A flat sea and copper sky. The soundman said the sea sounded dead. As usual we had choir practice before lunch. I read The Sea Wolf and dreamed of cold seas and fog. Balz said it was too hot to wear a tea cozy.

We surfaced at 2130.

The sky was brilliantly clear with Orion shining overhead. Stars reflected on the flat sea, giving one the impression of being on a spaceship floating in the middle of the universe.
"Flugzeug!"
"Alarm!"
I stepped aside to let the lookouts scramble down the hatch.
The airplane was loud.
A bomb exploded on the stern. I got slammed against the bulwarks.
Somehow I managed to get into the conning tower.
It was impossible to breathe.
The submarine was full of smoke.
I couldn´t stand. I couldn't walk.
Someone sat me on the chart box and handed me a breathing aparatus.
I realized I had a broken leg.
"Fire in diesel compartment is out, Herr Kaleun," someone said.
"Seal off aft torpedo room." Balz yelled. "Stop the dive."
That´s when I noticed we were going down stern first.
Everyone wore his breathing aparatus.
Main electricity was out.
"Full speed ahead," Balz ordered.
My leg was broken, maybe some ribs. My arms were burned, too. I forced myself to ignore the pain and think like an officer.
The depth meter showed hundred and twenty meters.
"Stop the dive."
"We´re out of control, Herr Kaleun."
"Blow ballast!" Balz looked around. Get your life jackets on. Take Herr Schmenk out first. Line up by escape hatches. Schmenk goes out first. On deck, deploy life rafts-"
"Critical depth, Herr Kaleun."
"Blow all ballast."
"Hoffman and Herzog are dead, Herr Kaleun."
"Prepare to abandon ship." Balz bellowed.
As I got dragged to the forward hatch, I saw the depth needle indicating a fast ascent.
Klank, salt water burned my face. I got shoved onto the deck.
I gulped air.
"Mach schnell. She´s going down." Bosun Detzel´s voice rand next to me.


Stay tuned for the next episode.

[frau kaleun]

We now know where Herr Balz gets his tea cozies from, either that or hes gone into tea cozy production

Silly wabbits, those tea cosies were being returned for a refund. Balz has upgraded.

http://cheezpictureisunrelated.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/efceee51-6c2b-4604-ad01-bff2e64f5a19.jpg

[Brag]

Silly wabbits, those tea cosies were being returned for a refund. Balz has upgraded.

http://cheezpictureisunrelated.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/efceee51-6c2b-4604-ad01-bff2e64f5a19.jpg
Bwa ha ha ha hoochies :haha::haha::haha:

Ghasp :o

[Herr-Berbunch]

I'm tuned, I'm tuned :o

[papa_smurf]

Hows Balz going to explain this to Doenitz when/if he gets back to Germany:hmmm:

[Jimbuna]

Sounds to me like someone made a 'Balz up' :dead:

[Schöneboom]

I sense an idea for a sitcom: "Balz's Island" :D

"Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip..."

[papa_smurf]

I sense an idea for a sitcom: "Balz's Island" :D

"Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip..."

And each episode ends with the line...."BERNARRRD!!!!:har:

[Rhodes]

I sense an idea for a sitcom: "Balz's Island" :D

"Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip..."

Zee Boat Zee Boatttt!

[Missing Name]

Eat Bernard and they might find a way off of the island.

[Herr-Berbunch]

Eat Bernard and they might find a way off of the island.

Zombie thread is somewhere else... :O:

[frau kaleun]

"Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip..."

...That started from a Gallic port
Aboard a tiny ship.

The mates were mighty sailin' men
The skipper brave and sure
But the IWO was named Bernard -
A disease that has no cure
A disease that has no cure

The Tommies started playing rough
A load of bombs they tossed
They missed Bernard - now that's a shame
The u-boat could be lost
The u-boat could be lost

The ship's aground on the shore of this
Uncharted tropic isle
With young Bernard
The skipper too
His forty thieves
And hoochie girls
The skipper said
"My tea co-zees, if you please -
I'll call this Balz's Isle."

So this is the tale of our castaways
They're here 'til who knows when
They'll have to wait 'til Brag shows up
To bring things to an end

The sailors and their skipper too
Will do their very best
To lose Bernard in the jungle there
Right near a hornet's nest

No food, no schnapps, no Frau Kaleun
Poor Balzie has a sad
But if they could just shake Bernard
It wouldn't be too bad

So join us here on Subsim, friends
You're sure to get a smile
From our hoochie woochie castaways
Here on Balz's Isle!

[Jimbuna]

The artists work
Was all in vain
Sh!thouse Poet
Strikes again!! :DL

[frau kaleun]

The artists work
Was all in vain
Sh!thouse Poet
Strikes again!! :DL

First thing this morning I log in and read the new posts in this thread... and get that stupid tune stuck in my head. REVENGE IS SWEET. :arrgh!:

[Jimbuna]

First thing this morning I log in and read the new posts in this thread... and get that stupid tune stuck in my head. REVENGE IS SWEET. :arrgh!:

What tune?

[frau kaleun]

What tune?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YYzvstgX3g&feature=related

[Jimbuna]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YYzvstgX3g&feature=related

Ah right...that is going back a few years :DL

[Draka]

A FEW??!!??

[Rhodes]

A FEW??!!??

Time is relative!

[Brag]

Lt. Schmenk continues his tale:

The airplane was gone. Our crew worked fast removing the life rafts from the casing. The sea was calm and people kept popping out of the hatches.
The stern was below the surface and water reached the conning tower. Our ship was going down.
Two people lifted me and placed me in a raft as water reached the forward hatch.

I didn´t know if I was the senior officer surviving. The glow of phosphorense indicated the spot where U-123 had stood. The sea was deadly still, only the gurgle of bubbles broke the silence of the night.

"Roll call," I ordered.
The bosun, who knew the crew list by heart, started calling out names.

With great sadness, I remembered the excentricities of our captain. His tea cozies, his music, his unrestrained ego.
"Zwei Matrosen confirmed as dead. Only our Komandant is missing," the bosun said after the roll call.

"Am I missing something? Besides my boat, my tea cozy collection and my fine Habana cigars?" Balz said from another raft. "Now, tie our rafts together, make an inventory of the supplies in each raft, Sanitater, check or injured people. Choir, be ready to perform at sunrise."

With an oar, the Sanitater fixed a splint for my leg. Morphine eased the pain and I could start thinking clearly.

By 10:30 the sun was beating hard on our pale-faced crew.
"Shiff gesichted," one of our duty lookouts announced.
On the horizon, a number of smoke smudges appeared.

"It's a convoy," someone said.

Stay tuned for more Balz. :cool:

[krashkart]

Balz Lives!

http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/picture.php?albumid=258&pictureid=2295

[papa_smurf]

:woot::()1:

[Jimbuna]

Might even be Somali Pirates :DL

[Brag]

"Shall I plot an intercept course?" Bernard asked.
"Ja, you do that," Balz said while studying the convoy with binoculars. "Then start rowing into attack position." He removed his smoking jacket and tea cozy. "We don´t want those buggers to see us."
"Being taken prisoner by the Brits is a better option than dying on a life raft," I said.
"Surrender to the Brits?" :O: Balz made a farting sound. "That lacks hoochie woochie. Even in the wretched state we are in, I am the great Balz and still armed and dangerous." He waved a P-38 pistol.

For a while, we could see the mast of a corvette, then we were again alone, a spot of black rafts in the huge immensity of the ocean.

That night we got soaked by a tropical shower. It got cold but we were able to collect water. The predominant wind was easterly and each hour it pushed us further away from the African coast. People would say we died a heroic death. not slowly like miserable castaways. A simple signal rocket would have saved us when that convoy was nearby.

If I could only take that pistol away from Balz...


Stay tuned for the next exciting Balz episode. :cool:

[ralphnader23]

Perhaps someone got off an SOS before the U-boat went down?

[papa_smurf]

"Surrender to the Brits?" :O: Balz made a farting sound. "That lacks hoochie woochie. Even in the wretched state we are in, I am the great Balz and still armed and dangerous." He waved a P-38 pistol.

I see Balz is going back to his pirate days:D

[Sailor Steve]

"I am the great Balz and still armed and dangerous." He waved a P-38 pistol.
BLAM!

"Oops. Somebody see to Eberhard."

[papa_smurf]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brag http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/smartdark/viewpost.gif (http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?p=1536489#post1536489)
"I am the great Balz and still armed and dangerous." He waved a P-38 pistol.

BLAM!

"Oops. Somebody see to Eberhard." Wouldn't he shoot Bernard first, or is he too vital for this story:har:

[Sailor Steve]

Wouldn't he shoot Bernard first, or is he too vital for this story:har:
No, my version was meant to be an accident, and Bernard would never be that unlucky.

[frau kaleun]

No, my version was meant to be an accident, and Bernard would never be that unlucky.

What he means is that no one would ever shoot Bernard... by accident. :O:

[Herr-Berbunch]

He'd probably miss Bernard and the round would ricochet through the tea cosy - and that would never be good :nope:.

More, Brag, More... :D

[Draka]

If nothing else has been proven by this story and all the "legends" of Bernard thru the many many moons of Subsim - you CAN'T kill th' bloody bugger! No matter HOW many times you dive while he is still outside, shoot him, poison him, leave him to the tender mercies of the good Frau - he will somehow still turn up in the very next episode.

[johan_d]

We al are Bernards.. they live to tell the tale!

[Gargamel]

What he means is that no one would ever shoot Bernard... by accident. :O:

I've gotten through 3 out of the 4 pages of Balz stories, enjoyable reading!!

But nobody seemed to pick up the fact that Bernard is actually the Fuhrer's nephew! That's why he always gets to be on a sub, because it's his dream to eventually command his own U-boat, even though, his one attempt (so far) at command led them to almost crashing into the minesweeper escort!

Brag's writing has made this a very enjoyable read! I have even picked up his Kingmaker novel solely based on the Balz works! :D

There was a web site that collected all the Balz stories into one lump, what happened to it? I can't seem to access it.

[Brag]

Balz used an eye dropper to ration water. On the seventh day, we were all very thirsty. Some were getting delusional, especially the lookouts on duty, who kept seeing ships.
A few minutes before noon as Balz was to perform the eye drop ration hoochie woochie, P.O. Weber said, "Ship Spotted."
Balz looked through his glasses. "Everyone, start speaking Greek."
"Is it a Greek ship?" I asked.
"How do we speak Greek?" Bernard asked.
"Yasu Panayotis, Papadimitropolus, Metaxa, uzo Pireus Partenon Alexandropolis hoochie woochiepappas Salamis," Balz explained.
"What if we say it wrong?" I Asked.
"It doesn´t matter," Balz said. "The crew on that ship is Portuguese."

We did some serious waving and the tramp steamer, Boaventura, stopped fifty meters from us. I got hoisted up first in a bosun´s chair. Then Balz climbed up a Jacob's ladder.
"Bon dia," Balz said to the Portuguese captain, "Your papers, please."
"Papers?
| "Yes, your cargo, manifest, crew list, registration certificate, radio station license."
"You, coo-coo?"
"No, we are Greek. Inspecting ships for contraband is an old habit I acquired while speaking Spanish. My name is Balz, I am the greatest hero in the Spanish navy. That´s why they call me the Lion of Trafalgar."
The Portuguese capatain whose name was Fonseca scratched his head. "Ah, Trafalgar, did you meet Mr. Nelson, the admiral?"
"I´ve sunk the Nelson."
"Let me get you a glass of water. I have a nice guest cabin and the ship´s doctor will give you a pill." Fonseca took Balz by the elbow and led him aft.
"Water? Do you have any tea cozies on board?"
I wondered how long it would take Fonseca to radio the Royal Navy.


http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/9053/dancewithpiratevi9.gif http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/9053/dancewithpiratevi9.gif



Stay glued to this thread for the next installment of the Balz saga :D

[Herr-Berbunch]

I'm glued, I'm glued, but using phone and battery running out so hurry up dagnabbit! :D

[Sailor Steve]

I wondered how long it would take Fonseca to radio the Royal Navy.
Why on earth would he radio the Royal Navy? Greek-speaking Spaniards are the province of the Turks, I believe. Besides, doesn't Balz still have one of those flying carpets?

[Jimbuna]

"Let me get you a glass of water. I have a nice guest cabin and the ship´s doctor will give you a pill."


Bernard brought some water...

http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/askville/6666639_11802838_mywrite/justaddwater.jpg

[Brag]

That evening the officers had a bacalhao dinner in the wardroom of the Boaventura.
"What´s your destination?" Balz asked Captain Fonseca.
"Gibraltar," Fonseca said.
"That won´t do," Balz shifted in his seat.
"It´s a short bus or taxi ride to Spain. You should be happy and I will each one of you carry five kilos of Angolan coffee thatñs worth a fortune in Europe now." Fonseca patted Balz on the shoulder. "Don´t look so gloomy."
"In Gib they drive on the wrong side of the road. I refuse to ride on the back side of a road that goes forward."
"That´s your land problem. Have a glass of oporto."
Balz sipped his port. "No, the problem is yours. I bought a ticket to France."
"What do you mean ticket? You were hitch hiking."
"I wasn´t hitch hiking. I was looking for my dear, lost tea cozy."
"That´s your problem," Fonseca retorted.
"Why do you keep adding problems? That´s not hoochie woochie."
Fonseca´s face clouded. "what nationality you said you were? The Royal Navy reported sinking a U-boat in the vicinity."
Balz gestured around him. "We are Greeks with Spanish accent when we don´t speak Japanese in English. A U-boat? That must have been what sunk us, to steal my tea cozy."
Fonseca slapped Balz on the back. "Have another glass of port. Life and Gibraltar improve after two glasses."

http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/9053/dancewithpiratevi9.gif http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/9053/dancewithpiratevi9.gif




Is Balz doomed to end up in Gibraltar?
Find out in the next episode of this exciting tale of the sea.

[Herr-Berbunch]

Gibraltar - two glasses? I've been there several times and always had many more than that. And never shabby in the morning! Well, almost never! Okay, always shabby in the morning, but I'm reformed now :D

I do hope they get to Gib :yep:

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v2069/178/5/735526656/n735526656_1861104_1707.jpg
I'm the one on the left, looking very shabby. Thieving Hijos de puta!

[Rhodes]

Bacalhau herr Balz, Bacalhau...

[Brag]

The next morning, Rhodes, the flegmatic first officer of the Boaventura ordered bacalhau for breakfast.
"Do you eat bacalhau every day?" Balz asked.
"We eat bacalhau for every meal." Rhodes smiled showing a perfect set of teeth :D.
While eating his morning bacalhau, Balz said. There is something wrong with your radio."
"There is nothing wrong with my radio," Captain Fonseca answered.
"Yes there is, I tried calling my mother and it didn´t work."
"Is your mother a ham operator?"
"Oh yes, she makes the best hams this side of Mecca. But you really need to get your radio fixed."
"My radion needs no fixing."
"I will send my radio genious Bernard, he will show your radio officer how to get more out of your radio. It will be bacalhau perfect. Your signals will have a perfect bounce off the gloposphere. It´s very hoochie woochie."
By the time they finished their bacalhau, Fonseca a greed to have his radio checked.

Bernard entered the radio room. "First thing we do, we remove the front panel." In a few minutes he had removed the dials, carefully placed them on the desk. He then removed the panel, very carefully. "Ach, you see all that dust. That decentrifies the diodes. "First we clean the chasis." He took a wet rag and applied it to the cassis.
Sparks flew, Bernard flew out of the radio room.
"You´ve ruined my radio," Fonseca yelled."
"Not at all," Balz said. He placed the head set on Fonseca´s head. "Hear anything?"
"No, nothing."
"No Static?"
"No."
"See, we fixed your static problem."

http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/9053/dancewithpiratevi9.gif http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/9053/dancewithpiratevi9.gif

[Rhodes]

:har::har::har::salute::up:

[Missing Name]

Herr Bernard, my gramophone appears to be broken. Can you take a look at it please? Danke.

[Brag]

Steadily, at sevem knots, the Boaventura headed north, it went past the Cape Verde Islands and then the Canaries. The weather was nice and the officers of U-123 sunned themselves on deck chairs. Life was good.

Balz went up to the bridge where Captain Fonseca and First Officer Rhodes were poring over a chart-
"We get to this point," Captain Fonseca tapped the chart with his index finger," and we turn straight for Gibraltar."
Balz adjusted the tea cozy he had fashioned out of a paper shopping bag. "I thought it was called the Gibraltar Strait."
Fonseca looked up- "It is called the Strait of Gibraltar."
"And you want to go straight for the strait?"
"Yes, straight for the Strait."
"Because I am a straightforward man, I have to tell you strait away in a very straight manner that Captain Walter will not allow any straight navigation for the Strait," Balz said.
Fonseca frowned. "And who in the hell is Captain Walter?"
Balz pulled the P-38 out of his smoking jacket pocket. "Allow me to introduce you to Captain Walter, it´s a very straight shooter. Plot a new course to Cape Finistere, then we will proceed to the charming port of Lorient. There, you will sell your coffee at a much better price that the Gibraltar tea sipping Limeys will pay.


Six days later. Lorient.

"What´s that noise?" Admiral Doenitz asked.
"It´s Balz, Sir," said the adjutant.
"Oh, no," said the admiral. After a minute his face brightened. "At least, I don´t have to give him a medal."
"Yes, you do."
"What in the hell for? He lost his submarine!"
"For breaking the Allied blockade. He has brought two thousand tons of Kafe for the Fuhrer."

Not far away, the deep rumble of a tank engine started.

http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/9053/dancewithpiratevi9.gif http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/9053/dancewithpiratevi9.gif

[Herr-Berbunch]

More, more, more, more, more, more... :yep:


Please :D

[frau kaleun]

Not far away, the deep rumble of a tank engine started.



:hmm2:

Sounds like somebody's gone and got their Panzers in a bunch. :O:

[Brag]

:hmm2:

Sounds like somebody's gone and got their Panzers in a bunch. :O:

Vavavaroom haha :haha:

[Gargamel]

Brag, still loving it.

Halfway through Kingmaker, and I do detect some Balz in some of the characters, when I got my hands on Blairs U-boat war. I'll get a review out, or at least a well earned attaboy, soon as I finish.

[Brag]

Brag, still loving it.

Halfway through Kingmaker, and I do detect some Balz in some of the characters, when I got my hands on Blairs U-boat war. I'll get a review out, or at least a well earned attaboy, soon as I finish.

Pleased to hear you are enjoying Kingmaker. Reviews are always helpful :DL

[Jimbuna]

Allow me to introduce you to Captain Walter


LOL :DL

[Brag]

Enjoying the summer afternoon in Bergstergaden and the view of the Alps, Hitler placed his cup back on the saucer- "Ach, diesel ist guttes Kafe," he said and burped mildly into his fist.
"Diesel?" asked Frau Grafstein-Blumen, the chairlady of the Bayern Red Cross.
"Diesel?" asked Colonel Schostow.
"I meant dieser. There is something about the Balz coffee. It makes you want to say Caramba in Japanese. Send a message to Doenitz. Promote Leutnant zur See Balz to Kapitan Leutnant--immediately. Diesel non schmops kapop, signed Der Fuhrer.

http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/9053/dancewithpiratevi9.gif
Meanwhile in Lorient, a twirling party was afoot. :D

[Sailor Steve]

"Den ve HEIL! HEIL! Right in Der Fuhrer's face!" :woot:

[Missing Name]

All I had to do was read a few older stories and I'm already mentally calling torpedoes "boom booms" and the hydrophone the "froo froo." It wears off on you, just like drinking the coffee.

[Rhodes]

Send a message to Doenitz. Promote Leutnant zur See Balz to Kapitan Leutnant--immediately. Diesel non schmops kapop, signed Der Fuhrer.

The affect of th portuguese café...