Where the hell were you last night?!

[GoldenRivet]

You’ve all heard of the Air Force’s ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as “Area 51″?

Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their “secret” base. They immediately surrounded the airplane with MPs and impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into a tiny concrete cell interrogation room.

The pilot’s story was that he took off from Las Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was running out of fuel, with the engine sputtering he landed with an emergency. The Air Force started a full FBI/CIA/NSA background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation.

By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn’t a spy or suspicious person. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying “you-did-not-see-a-base and you were never here” briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, made him sign non-disclosure statements and told him Vegas was that-a-way on such and such a heading, and sent him on his way.

The next day, to the total disbelief of the Air Force personnel on the airbase, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP’s surrounded the plane… only this time there were two people in the plane.

The same pilot jumped out with his hands up and said, "You guys can do anything you want to me... but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!"

:88)

[flag4]

:haha::haha::haha:

if thats true, its brilliant!!!:DL

[bookworm_020]

"She's from Venus! Take her please!!!!!!":O:

[Castout]

:har:

That's utterly cruelly funny

[the_tyrant]

:haha::har::rotfl2:

[papa_smurf]

:har::haha::har:

[FIREWALL]

:har: Priceless John. " That's my story an I'm stick'in too it." :yep:

[Weiss Pinguin]

:rotfl2::rotfl2:

[August]

:haha::haha::haha:

if thats true, its brilliant!!!:DL

Every word is real. - fakt

[krashkart]

That's pretty good. :haha:

[STEED]

Good one. :yeah: :haha: :haha:

[The Third Man]

Funny joke. But, first hand I know that there is no way that a Cessna, or any other unauthorized A/C could get that close to Groom Lake.

[August]

Funny joke. But, first hand I know that there is no way that a Cessna, or any other unauthorized A/C could get that close to Groom Lake.

No way a Cessna could fly all the way from Germany and land in Red Square at the height of Soviet power either...

[The Third Man]

No way a Cessna could fly all the way from Germany and land in Red Square at the height of Soviet power either...

I guess that says more about the' height of Soviet power' than it does about flying around/landing @ Groom Lake.

[CCIP]

So I guess you already tried, huh :D

[FIREWALL]

Funny joke. But, first hand I know that there is no way that a Cessna, or any other unauthorized A/C could get that close to Groom Lake.


Have you ever heard of the term "Wet Blanket" ? :roll:

[nikimcbee]

hhmm, I thought your wife believed everything you said? Did you take any pictures while you were at area 51?

[Ducimus]

It's a great joke! If you want to add a little bit of authenticity to it, replace MP with SP.

[The Third Man]

Have you ever heard of the term "Wet Blanket" ? :roll:

Have you ever heard of what is good for the goose is good for the gander?

[August]

If you want to add a little bit of authenticity to it, replace MP with SP.


Shore Patrol? It really IS a crazy place!

[Platapus]

I remember watching Independence Day with The Frau. She is a Sci Fi, alien timetravel... movie nut. ID was made for her.

Well, in ID some of the action takes place at "area 51". During the movie she asked me if this was true.

I told her that she is missing the point. If she accepts that there is an area 51, then that would mean that there are 50 other areas out there.

She exclaimed, "OMG, I never thought about that. You gotta tell me!!"

I just smiled enigmatically, which is not as easy as it sounds.

[Ducimus]

Shore Patrol? It really IS a crazy place!

Air force calls Military Police..... Security Police. Hence, SP instead of MP. Their easily identifiable on any Air Force installation by the blue beret. They also tend to be very bored, and uptight; waiting for something to happen. And when something does.. ALL of em come.

(I used to call the ones out on the flight line, rivet counters. Cause it seems like thats all they did when guarding the flight line.. just sit there and count the rivets in the aircraft. Really boring. I saw one open the door to his crown vic once, and i saw huge portions the padding on the door interior had been picked away in little chunks. )

edit:

Like this guy!
http://www.usafe.af.mil/shared/media/photodb/web/060601-F-8415S-432.jpg

edit:
or this guy in the newer uniform.
http://www.andrews.af.mil/shared/media/photodb/web/100411-F-6188A-035.JPG

[Platapus]

I think the Air Force combined the LE and SP career fields into one combined AFSC 3P0X1 Security Forces. Probably one of the reasons was to give the old SP people some hope of a decent career path. :D

One thing you could say about the old SPs -- they were outstanding in their field. Out standing in the Rain Out standing in the snow. Out Standing in the heat. :O:

We used to have to explain to the new officers (especially Academy grads) that when dealing with SPs, they should never forget Air Force Regulation 4-16.

AFR 4-16 mandates that the E-4 with the M-16 is, at least temporarily in command of the situation. :har:

[August]

Air force calls Military Police..... Security Police

Continuing the glorious Air Force tradition of stealing uniforms from other services. :DL

[Ducimus]

Funny story for everyone but the guy involved:

There was this CE troop who had to do some maintance out on the flight line. You know one of those little shacks that are waay of by themselves somewhere along the flight line, but its on the other side of the red line? That's where his work order said for him to go. I think it was some pump, or generator, or something, i forget.

Apparently he forgot to get clearance for crossing the red line, OR, someone just forgot to radio it in, i don't know. But he drove out there in his work truck, and within two minutes, the SP's came out of the woodworks and he had his face planted on his truck hood with several M16's pointed at him. It didn't matter he had his security clearance badge on, or whatever, they just jacked him straight up. Everyone got a good laugh out of it later though.

[Ducimus]

Continuing the glorious Air Force tradition of stealing uniforms from other services. :DL

IF ONLY that continued to be true. Have you seen the new service dress? It's an embarrassment.. It wants to be distinctive, and ends up looking clownish.

Now, the raw utility uniform without accoutrements are borrowed, sure the crap that's put on them changes. I kid you not, uniform standards for BDU's changed THREE TIMES within 4 years. It could be said the AF had no uniform for BDU's at all since there was no uniformity!

Overall though, The AF is confused. It has an identity crises, and no sense of tradition that I was ever able to discern.

edit: I should cavet that by saying, "at least when i was in."

edit 2: There is one thing distinct about AF utility uniforms... bdu's or whatever it is they call them now. I believe their the only branch that continues to wear their rank on the sleeve. As an E4, i figured out pretty quick that when i rolled up my sleeves just right, i could make myself look like a staff sargeant. lol.

[August]

IF ONLY that continued to be true. Have you seen the new service dress? It's an embarrassment.. It wants to be distinctive, and ends up looking clownish.

Oh man don't talk about dress uniforms! The Army is getting rid of the Green Class A's, and going an accessorized version of the Dress Blues!

Words just fail me. :nope:

In just 60 years we go from this:
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:B8gD1gcDxeHH_M:http://i188.photobucket.com/albums/z5/ethanrom_2007/Spiers8.jpg&t=1

to this:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hk_cayNIONo/SLRQuvGYIDI/AAAAAAAAJ9g/S7iYFwOYYjg/s400/newarmyuniform.jpg

They have turned our Paratroops into a bunch of French freaking doormen! :damn:

Now, the raw utility uniform without accoutrements are borrowed, sure the crap that's put on them changes. I kid you not, uniform standards for BDU's changed THREE TIMES within 4 years. It could be said the AF had no uniform for BDU's at all since there was no uniformity!Similar things happened in the Army. I personally went from od fatigues to camo jungles fatigues to BDU's and back to od jungles.

Overall though, The AF is confused. It has an identity crises, and no sense of tradition that I was ever able to discern.I can see why. It has less and less of a unique mission. I've always thought that they should kept the USAAF and just split off SAC. Close Air Support should be organic.

[GoldenRivet]

Oh man don't talk about dress uniforms! The Army is getting rid of the Green Class A's, and going an accessorized version of the Dress Blues!

Words just fail me. :nope:

In just 60 years we go from this:
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:B8gD1gcDxeHH_M:http://i188.photobucket.com/albums/z5/ethanrom_2007/Spiers8.jpg&t=1

to this:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hk_cayNIONo/SLRQuvGYIDI/AAAAAAAAJ9g/S7iYFwOYYjg/s400/newarmyuniform.jpg



That is just grotesque...:nope: saw a few of my family members wearing the "new blues" recently... i was like "Dude... WTF?"

and they were like "I know."

[Ducimus]

Heh, looks like a french foreign legion reject.

If it makes you feel any better, the USAF dress uniform went from a traditional coat, which.. if you looked at the design, was very much inspired from WW2 era uniforms (and probably hadn't changed much, and was probably a carbon copy of the army's only in a shade of blue), to looking like a cheap suit. In fact, officers, looked like they worked for an airline because Someone got the stupid idea to put embroider on the sleeve cuff like the navy or something.

I suspect the serve dress has changed yet again, probably along with the logo change. I can't find any pictures of what it used to look like, but this is what their using now:
http://i199.photobucket.com/albums/aa320/Jmcp24/th_AirForceSymbol.jpg
And I do NOT remember it looking like this. I think it was just an old chevron. Not this crap.

I know the AF likes to pass itself off as high tech and futuristic (which if you ask me, is a recruiting office lie), but this is carrying it a little too far symbolically. Why change it? Why not keep some semblance of tradition? I don't get it.

But check out the new service covers... in specific the female Senior Master sargeant on the right:
http://www.spectre-association.org/inMemory/Robert_Simmons/800W/Skeeters%20Services%20105.jpg
WTF is that?

I was issued something like this in my day (not that I ever wore it past tech school)
http://go-armynavy.com/components/com_virtuemart/shop_image/product/ba538068a72e75c5890cda8755dd06e3.jpg

I gotta give the marines one thing.... at least they keep their traditions, and a decent uniform.

Oh, id love to tell you about the idiocy of the 3 different types of BDU uniform reg's. THAT was fun. All I have to say to any Ex Air force member we have here is one word........

McPeak.

BLech!

[ETR3(SS)]

http://www.spectre-association.org/inMemory/Robert_Simmons/800W/Skeeters%20Services%20105.jpg
WTF is that?
Agreed. WTF is that? Do they not teach you how to salute in AF basic? That uber wtf-ever sergeant needs to go fix herself. Since ya know, I'm assuming this is a funeral pic. I mean even if they weren't all jacked up they still look bad because Gunny has got his chit together. But come on her arm is nearly vertical!:nope:

[August]

Agreed. WTF is that? Do they not teach you how to salute in AF basic? That uber wtf-ever sergeant needs to go fix herself. Since ya know, I'm assuming this is a funeral pic. I mean even if they weren't all jacked up they still look bad because Gunny has got his chit together. But come on her arm is nearly vertical!:nope:


She was afraid if she touched elbows with a real warrior her arm might break off...

[Ducimus]

Yeah i noticed that too. I cried a little inside. :nope:

[Sailor Steve]

I was a big fan of the original 1947 AF Blue uniform. I thought it looked just like what a fighter pilot should wear on his day off. Like they say, if it ain't broke don't fix it.

Do they not teach you how to salute in AF basic?
Looks to me like she's waving traffic through. To be fair, maybe she's part-way into the salute and just hasn't gotten there yet.

[frau kaleun]

In just 60 years we go from this:
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:B8gD1gcDxeHH_M:http://i188.photobucket.com/albums/z5/ethanrom_2007/Spiers8.jpg&t=1



To be fair, though, this guy would look good in a burlap sack.

He would look even better in my apartment, but I'm not sure that's relevant. :O:

[Ducimus]

Agreed. WTF is that? Do they not teach you how to salute in AF basic?


Yes. Unfortunately a couple of bored Horseman screwing around in Iraq render a better salute then that senior NCO at funeral.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z42VQoEUheU

[Takeda Shingen]

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hk_cayNIONo/SLRQuvGYIDI/AAAAAAAAJ9g/S7iYFwOYYjg/s400/newarmyuniform.jpg

Eww. It also doesn't help that the model looks like Rainn Wilson without the glasses.

[Garion]

With trousers like that they would fit in perfectly on the o'l 1701 :woot:

Cheers


Garion
Jev