A Muslim dies and finds himself before....

[kiwi_2005]

the Pearly Gates..
He is very excited, as all his life he has longed to meet the Prophet
Mohammed. Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, he meets a man with a beard.

"Are you Mohammed?" he asks.

"No, my son. I am Peter. Mohammed is higher up." And he points to a ladder that rises into the clouds. Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than Peter, he climbs the ladder in great strides, climbs through the clouds coming to a room where he meets another bearded man.

He asks again, "Are you Mohammed?" "No, I am Moses. Mohammed is higher still."

Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy he continues to climb the ladder
and, yet again, he discovers an even larger room where he meets another
man with a beard.

Full of hope, he asks again, "Are you Mohammed?" "No, I am Jesus... You will find Mohammed higher up."

Mohammed higher than Jesus! The poor man can hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs, ever higher. Once again he reaches a larger room where he meets a man with a beard and repeats his question:

"Are you Mohammed?" he gasps as he is, by now, totally out of breath
from all his climbing.

"No my son.....I am God. But you look exhausted. Would you like a coffee?"

"Yes, please, my Lord."

God looks behind him, claps his hands and calls out: "Hey Mohammed, two coffees !!!!"

:haha:

[FIREWALL]

:har::haha::haha::haha::rotfl2::rotfl2::rotfl2::ha r:

[CaptainMattJ.]

:har::har::har:


:yeah::yeah:

[bookworm_020]

:haha::haha::har::har::har::har::haha::haha:

Love it!

[ETR3(SS)]

:rotfl2:

[Tribesman]

OK Kiwi, get ready for the super PC police, under secret laws written by despearados in vietnam you will find, if you can find them the wriings of the special poeple which will if you read them upside down on a wet wednesday when the moon is purple and the swallows fly north for winter explain the global conspiracy

[Dimitrius07]

Just make sure you stay anonymous for your own safety, after this type of jokes towards religion of "peace". Insulting this pedofile its a death penalty according to Islamic law :dead:.

[Dowly]

Good one Kiwi. :up:

[mookiemookie]

http://iranpoliticsclub.net/photos/women-stoning/images/Angry%20Muslim%20Man%202.jpg
"DEATH TO KIWI_2005!!!!"
:rotfl2:

[Legionary74]

---

[JU_88]

:haha: lol.
Possibly the only Islam thread on GT that is actually worth reading :D

[Jimbuna]

:haha: lol.
Possibly the only Islam thread on GT that is actually worth reading :D

Aye...nice one kiwi :DL

[Betonov]

I love it, going to tell it to my muslim friends :D

unlike the arabs, the bosnians have a sense of humor and I'm only going to be hit with a joke about slovenians

[JU_88]

I love it, going to tell it to my muslim friends :D

unlike the arabs, the bosnians have a sense of humor and I'm only going to be hit with a joke about slovenians

Yeah most of the muslims I know are Turks, they would find this joke funny too :)
Anyone who cant take the piss out of themselves once in a while just needs a slap upside the head!

[Admiral8Q]

Anyone who cant take the piss out of themselves once in a while just needs a slap upside the head!
Hey we must hate!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6pqHDacLJ4&feature=related

[Fish]

An airliner leaves Heathrow Airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His co-pilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.

Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat and mutters, 'I don't like Chinese..'

'No rike Chinese?' asks the co-pilot, ... 'rhy not?'

'You people bombed Pearl Harbor, that's why!'

'No, no', the co-pilot protests, 'Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese.'

'Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese... ..doesn't matter, you're all alike!'

There's a few minutes of silence..

'I no rike Jews!' the co-pilot suddenly announces.

'Oh yeah, why not?' asks the captain.

'Jews sink Titanic!' says the co-pilot.

'What? That's insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!' exclaims the captain, 'It was an iceberg!'

'Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg, .... nomattah... all same ! ! !'

[Dowly]

And for those who want to read it. :O:

An airliner leaves Heathrow Airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His co-pilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.

Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat and mutters, 'I don't like Chinese..'

'No rike Chinese?' asks the co-pilot, ... 'rhy not?'

'You people bombed Pearl Harbor, that's why!'

'No, no', the co-pilot protests, 'Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese.'

'Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese... ..doesn't matter, you're all alike!'

There's a few minutes of silence..

'I no rike Jews!' the co-pilot suddenly announces.

'Oh yeah, why not?' asks the captain.

'Jews sink Titanic!' says the co-pilot.

'What? That's insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!' exclaims the captain, 'It was an iceberg!'

'Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg, .... nomattah... all same ! ! !'

[Sailor Steve]

DOWLY!?!?

White is better than blue?

What are you, some kind of inkist or something.

Your true colors are showing! :O:




ps - I didn't know you were a Babylon 5 fan. :sunny:

[Dowly]

DOWLY!?!?

White is better than blue?

What are you, some kind of inkist or something.

Your true colors are showing! :O:



Hey, our flag got both colors so I guess it's a win-win situation. :DL


ps - I didn't know you were a Babylon 5 fan. :sunny:Mr. Ambassador, what do YOU want? :salute:

[JU_88]

An airliner leaves Heathrow Airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His co-pilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.

Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat and mutters, 'I don't like Chinese..'

'No rike Chinese?' asks the co-pilot, ... 'rhy not?'

'You people bombed Pearl Harbor, that's why!'

'No, no', the co-pilot protests, 'Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese.'

'Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese... ..doesn't matter, you're all alike!'

There's a few minutes of silence..

'I no rike Jews!' the co-pilot suddenly announces.

'Oh yeah, why not?' asks the captain.

'Jews sink Titanic!' says the co-pilot.

'What? That's insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!' exclaims the captain, 'It was an iceberg!'

'Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg, .... nomattah... all same ! ! !'


http://i286.photobucket.com/albums/ll118/v11cu96/rolflmao-2.jpg

:haha:

[Jimbuna]

A French War Hero, a peaceful muslim and the Loch Ness Monster are sitting in a bar.

Who is the odd one out?

The Loch Ness Monster, because there is a chance that he actually exists.

[JU_88]

A French War Hero, a peaceful muslim and the Loch Ness Monster are sitting in a bar.

Who is the odd one out?

The Loch Ness Monster, because there is a chance that he actually exists.

Lousy Muslim, what was he doing in a bar? :haha:

[Sailor Steve]

Hey, our flag got both colors so I guess it's a win-win situation. :DL
:rock:


Mr. Ambassador, what do YOU want?:salute:
Woo-hoo?

[Jimbuna]

Police are warning people to be on the lookout for muslim suicide bombers over Christmas who are set to launch a wave of terror with a new 'Alphabet Bomb'.

If one of those buggas goes off, it could spell disaster.

[Garion]

hahahahah nice one :woot:

Cheers

Garion

[ReFaN]

Funny stuff :p

[Jimbuna]

A muslim suicide bomber recruited by Al-Qaeda blew himself up, killing hundreds including himself.

Sure enough, he ascended to heaven and as promised by God, he received a bounty of 72 virgins.

Trouble is, they were all busy playing World of Warcraft...

[Betonov]

I like where this thread is going, political corectnes is b***s***