Oh the shame!

[CTaardvark]

Having just been nearly sunk by a Merchant Ship :oops::oops: I wondered what embarrasing SH3 moments others have had? Go on, own up.

[KL-alfman]

my first ever career ended at the third patrol because I hit the "raise to snorkel-depth" instead of periscope-depth.
the Flower (I intended to sink) happily chopped me to pieces before I knew what was going on. :cry: :har:

[frau kaleun]

I was once court-martialed for repeatedly pinching my navigator's bum.

Oh, wait, you meant things that actually happen, not things we imagine during a very long patrol... :oops:

Okay, well, I was playing a single mission, can't remember which one, bunch of tankers I was supposed to take out coming from somewhere in S America I think and headed for the US or Britain... anyway they looked all alone at first but turned out they had armed escorts and I took a lot of damage before I ordered "DIVE" and things weren't looking good once we submerged so I ordered "BLOW TANKS" and we surfaced and all the other ships were gone except for the little tugboat that graciously accepted our surrender.

:88)

[Paul Riley]

I was once taking a nap in my cabin bunk when some idiot started shaking me violently shouting in my ear "ALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARM!!"
I instantly sprang up in my bed terrified,banging my head on the wood panelling above,causing all my books and charts to fall out of a cupboard and on to the damp floor :stare:
I have now fitted a lock onto the bulkhead hatch between my quarters and the control room,now they must knock instead of barging in like that.

[Fader_Berg]

I had wasted my last torpedo on a small cargo ship, (~2,000) and brought her severe damage. It was just a matter of time before she was going down. I had nothing to do though, while I waited. So I went to work on her with my bad ass flak gun.
Suddenly she blows up and I hear my hull pops right open. It was all over within two or three seconds. I had some regrets for that... :nope:

[frau kaleun]

I have now fitted a lock onto the bulkhead hatch between my quarters and the control room,now they must knock instead of barging in like that.

Yeah but now you'll have to get up and open the door every time somebody from the zentrale on back needs to use the toilet. :har:

[Paul Riley]

Yeah but now you'll have to get up and open the door every time somebody from the zentrale on back needs to use the toilet. :har:

At least they will learn some manners now,the captain needs to sleep you know :smug:

[maillemaker]

I was banging away at a merchant ship with the deck gun, and did not pay attention to how close we were getting to her. I cut across her path, and the blow of the merchant crashed into our stern.

I tried to turn away from her, but we were pinned to her bow, and the ocean pushed our bow around, pinning us to the bow and side of the merchant, which was burning furiously from our shelling.

The ship then exploded, and took us with it.

[Exakt]

At least they will learn some manners now,the captain needs to sleep you know :smug:

I usually get plenty of sleep during the early first stretch of the trip, usually quiet at the beginning of the war. (By that I mean that I let SH3 run at 1TC during the night while I sleep, closest to danger that I ever woke up was at the very entrance of the Dover Straight.)

[Paul Riley]

A very risky enterprise indeed.I could never leave it running while I slept for real :o
Well,good luck with that *phew*

[Paul Riley]

I was banging away at a merchant ship with the deck gun, and did not pay attention to how close we were getting to her. I cut across her path, and the blow of the merchant crashed into our stern.

I tried to turn away from her, but we were pinned to her bow, and the ocean pushed our bow around, pinning us to the bow and side of the merchant, which was burning furiously from our shelling.

The ship then exploded, and took us with it.

Talk about close encounters! :o

[Sailor Steve]

I was gunning a ship when it exploded, killing me and everyone on the bridge.

This was in Artillery Training School.:dead:


The first time I played the 'Save The Bismarck' single mission I surfaced for a look around, just like always - about 1000 meters from the two British battleships.

[Paul Riley]

I was gunning a ship when it exploded, killing me and everyone on the bridge.

This was in Artillery Training School.:dead:


The first time I played the 'Save The Bismarck' single mission I surfaced for a look around, just like always - about 1000 meters from the two British battleships.

Really Steve,you should have known better ;)

[Dissaray]

The one blunder I am forever making, it seems, is ordering the boat to continue on a ploted course during a silent runing operations beacouse some jerk up top was trying to kill me for some thing I was hardly involved in they some how got it into their heads that I was to blame for some "suspicious explosions" occuring on near by ships; I must say it was very uncool and unprofesional of the Royal Navy. So I give them the slip, they were spining around my last known position and blasting the poor fishies there, again it was quite uncool of them.

The plan was to move out on my ploted course twoards my PZ to do my job and all that. As soon as I give the order I saw the RPM gage crank way up, I hapend to be looking that direction at the time. I imidiatly order a lower speed seting but the damage was done as I heard the ping of the ASDIC and the fight was on yet again. Some times I escape again, others I have to engage and kill my unreasonable agressors and the rest of the time I am not so lucky. One such time I took two charges back to back, just aft of the tower. The charges took out both my deisl and electrics; that was a sticky situation for sure.

[Randomizer]

Once accidently rammed my escorting Sperrbrecher while evading an air attack and crept the 5000 or so metres back to the bunker with 80% hull damage.

[Brag]

I had my boat in perfect possition. The battleship was doomed as it approached. I raised the scope. Target at 340 degrees, range 800 meters. I fired my stern tubes as the escorts headed for me :wah:

[Paul Riley]

I had my boat in perfect possition. The battleship was doomed as it approached. I raised the scope. Target at 340 degrees, range 800 meters. I fired my stern tubes as the escorts headed for me :wah:

Dear oh dear Brag :har:

[frau kaleun]

http://bluejaunte.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/tactical_facepalm.jpg

[Flopper]

This is tough, I'd have to think all the way back to the last minutes I was playing.

While admiring the the stars of the night sky and getting ready to dock at the Corrientes supply ship, I looked up and noticed I was doing 14 kts on collision course... managed to slow down and veer away enough to just scrape the side a bit. :shifty:

[frau kaleun]

When I first started playing I liked to cruise around very close to the coastline so I could look at the land through my binocs and see what it looked like. Sadly, I also had a bad habit of plotting my course without zooming in close enough on the map to see all the up close and personal details of the shoreline, especially the bits that stick out a bit farther into the water than they appear to when you're not zoomed in to that specific area on the nav map.

Protip: those bits do not recede into the mainland if you unknowingly plot a course right through them, and running up on them at flank speed will not scare them out of the way either.

[frau kaleun]

This is tough, I'd have to think all the way back to the last minutes I was playing.

While admiring the the stars of the night sky and getting ready to dock at the Corrientes supply ship, I looked up and noticed I was doing 14 kts on collision course... managed to slow down and veer away enough to just scrape the side a bit. :shifty:

You really should've taken the hint when their bridge watch stopped waving their arms and screaming and started jumping overboard instead. :O:

[Exakt]

http://bluejaunte.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/tactical_facepalm.jpg


Oh Frau, I'm keeping this one... :har: :rotfl2:

Guess I'll show this to some of my ArmA peeps...

[Gaijin]

I have yet to top this (http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showpost.php?p=1066864&postcount=5) superb example of stupidity :oops:

[Flopper]

I have yet to top this (http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showpost.php?p=1066864&postcount=5) superb example of stupidity :oops:

:haha::har:

[frau kaleun]

I have yet to top this (http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showpost.php?p=1066864&postcount=5) superb example of stupidity :oops:

:har::rotfl2: :har:

http://static.funnyjunk.com/pictures/epic_facepalm_when_you_just_know_you_messed_up_dem otivational_poster_1253705267.jpg

[Paul Riley]

:har::rotfl2: :har:

http://static.funnyjunk.com/pictures/epic_facepalm_when_you_just_know_you_messed_up_dem otivational_poster_1253705267.jpg

:rotfl2:!

[Paul Riley]

Last night going through the channel I torpedoed a Romanian merchant in the darkness thinking it was French.I then threw the radio man and sonar man out of the sound room and locked myself in sulking like a baby,then shouted back to everyone "if anyone so much as looks at to me the wrong way I will f'ing shoot you with my Luger then throw your corpse overboard for the sharks!" :damn:

[Dissaray]

Don't feel too bad about shooting the Romanians; I've heard they have it coming.

[Paul Riley]

Thing is though,they became Germany's allies until 1944 I think it was.I remember they were using Romania's huge oil fields at Ploesti :o

[BootsmanBoof]

Once accidently rammed my escorting Sperrbrecher while evading an air attack and crept the 5000 or so metres back to the bunker with 80% hull damage.

SNAFU:haha:

[sharkbit]

Oh, where to begin:
1. Running into the dock in Wilhelmshaven using TC.
2. Launching a torpedo at empty ocean(pre-GWX when just ENTER would launch an eel).
3. Perfect position on an unescorted ore carrier at night up near Norway, ready to shoot, finger hovering over the fire button, trying to see the flag to confirm nationality, realizing at the last second that the target is German.
4. Crash dive with less than 70 meters of water under the keel.

:)

[Sailor Steve]

2. Launching a torpedo at empty ocean(pre-GWX when just ENTER would launch an eel).
Yep. Using free cam. Right hand is on the mouse, left middle finger on the 'Numpad 8' key, flying along. I'm a long way from the ship I want to look at, so the left thumb goes to the 'Shift' key, while I'm still looking at the screen.

"Rohr Eins...LOS!"

Who's the idiot who put the 'Enter' key right there?

[Vipper]

That happened just few days ago and did end my career. I surfaced in dark night to finish off Nelson class battleship i torpedoed earlier and that was already half under water... when she suddenly did turn lights on me and opened fire from every single gun she had (including those already under water)...

It did ripped my sub pieces in matter of seconds.

Oh, and i must mention several accidental launch of torpedoes (hey, it was salvo) while trying to lock target via periscope. Just a wrong button an off it goes...

[CTaardvark]

As I play FPS's as well, accidental presses of the A,S and D keys are currently quite common, especially when looking through the captains eyes :damn:. Surfacing whilst trying to evade an enemy ship isn't the best course of action

[sergei]

Oh man.
The story about Gaijin sinking his own supply ship. That is truly epic :DL

My own facepalm moment was colliding with the minesweeper that was escorting me out of Wilhelshaven.
At extreme speed.

[Paul Riley]

Oh man.
The story about Gaijin sinking his own supply ship. That is truly epic :DL

My own facepalm moment was colliding with the minesweeper that was escorting me out of Wilhelshaven.
At extreme speed.

LMAO! :har:

[frau kaleun]

Oh man.
The story about Gaijin sinking his own supply ship. That is truly epic :DL

My own facepalm moment was colliding with the minesweeper that was escorting me out of Wilhelshaven.
At extreme speed.

Now that's something I'm proud to say I have never done, although it did take me a couple of patrols to stop wondering why that stupid little ship was always sitting there in my way when I had places to go and things to do, goddammit.

I still wonder what they must've thought when I vroomed right by them at Ahead Full shouting, "eat my diesel exhaust you wankers!" :nope:

[Sailor Steve]

Someday you're gonna do that at Wilhelmshaven and find out for yourself exactly where the subnets and minefields are. :yep:

[frau kaleun]

It WAS at Wilhelmshaven! :rotfl2:

But as it turned out, the course the minesweeper lays out for me to follow is pretty much the one I always took anyway. I never hit anything, not even once.

[Sailor Steve]

I know. Staying to the middle of the Jade is always safe. Anyway one of the GWX pulldown maps is of all the friendly bases and their defenses.

I'm one of these reality freaks who only does one knot at the pier, only does five within the inner harbors, and doesn't exceed cruising speed except when I'm chasing somebody, so I'm pretty much always behind the escort.

Except at Kiel, but that's only because he exits the harbor and I turn left for the Canal.:sunny:

[frau kaleun]

Actually I have used the harbor escort to try and fine tune some of my skillz, usually I "watch" a lot of our departure zoomed in real close on the nav map and use the compass rose to keep myself on course behind the escort and make speed adjustments as necessary to keep a constant distance between us.

I go back and forth (with Commander) between starting at sea and starting at the dock, because sometimes after 2-3 patrols I really don't want to bother with the long treks through the harbor again.

But I must say there is something sort of thrilling about that moment when the escort finally peels off and heads back into the harbor, and you know you're on your own...

[sergei]

"eat my diesel exhaust you wankers!" :nope:

Frau, you just made me laugh so hard coffee shot out of my nose.

[Paul Riley]

Now that's something I'm proud to say I have never done, although it did take me a couple of patrols to stop wondering why that stupid little ship was always sitting there in my way when I had places to go and things to do, goddammit.

I still wonder what they must've thought when I vroomed right by them at Ahead Full shouting, "eat my diesel exhaust you wankers!" :nope:

I am shocked Frau! :o:har::o:har::rotfl2::cool::up:

I just love the word WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANKER,especially from a woman! :D
If you would have shouted that to me racing past I would have dropped my britches and saluted you with my arse :O:

[xance]

In my desperation to sink a dead in the water C2 in foul weather I tried ramming it and ended up getting stuck just in front of the C2's bridge. It took 10 minutes, lots of profanities a crash dive at full back speed to get free.

[frau kaleun]

Frau, you just made me laugh so hard coffee shot out of my nose.

Then my work here is done. :smug:

[frau kaleun]

If you would have shouted that to me racing past I would have dropped my britches and saluted you with my arse :O:

Surrounded by sailors? Your bravery is commendable, Herr Kaleun!

[frau kaleun]

In my desperation to sink a dead in the water C2 in foul weather I tried ramming it and ended up getting stuck just in front of the C2's bridge. It took 10 minutes, lots of profanities a crash dive at full back speed to get free.

So, what's Stalingrad like? I hear it's right chilly there in the winter.

[xance]

So, what's Stalingrad like? I hear it's right chilly there in the winter.

I'd run out of eels to shoot at her and didn't wan't to wait two months to use the deck gun again.

[Paul Riley]

Surrounded by sailors? Your bravery is commendable, Herr Kaleun!

Any bloke touches my arse and they will quickly be sharkbait,friend or no friend :salute:

[DaveP63]

When I first started playing I liked to cruise around very close to the coastline so I could look at the land through my binocs and see what it looked like. Sadly, I also had a bad habit of plotting my course without zooming in close enough on the map to see all the up close and personal details of the shoreline, especially the bits that stick out a bit farther into the water than they appear to when you're not zoomed in to that specific area on the nav map.

Protip: those bits do not recede into the mainland if you unknowingly plot a course right through them, and running up on them at flank speed will not scare them out of the way either.

Yep...Done that! :yeah:

[DaveP63]

4. Crash dive with less than 70 meters of water under the keel.

:)

Aaaaaand that too :haha:

[Elektranaut]

Yes indeed,my wife wandered into the study the other day while I was on patrol off the Dutch Coast."I like the sound of the waves" she remarked,
"Listen to this!" I said thinking to impress her with a crash dive.Bang!Straight into sea bed!Shouting,scrreaming,alarms.......My wife gave me an odd look and headed for the garden.

[bertieck476]

After blundering into a convoy at high tc with no torps left and getting set upon by what seemed like the whole navy I had to start a new career,which started well and got even better in the 2nd mission when returning to Wills come across a C2, 2 torpedos saw it explode into 2 peices great I thought, I plotted a course right into the dock and was enjoying the welcome bands in the dark when all of a sudden "destroyed by collision":wah:
I've got to start career no 3 now.

[Paul Riley]

Yes indeed,my wife wandered into the study the other day while I was on patrol off the Dutch Coast."I like the sound of the waves" she remarked,
"Listen to this!" I said thinking to impress her with a crash dive.Bang!Straight into sea bed!Shouting,scrreaming,alarms.......My wife gave me an odd look and headed for the garden.

:har:

[Edo]

Well, my Bernhard had an odd impression form one of the radio messages from BdU that we ought to return to Kiel. We succesfully navigated Kaiser Wilhelm Kanal and set in Kiel. Only to be welcomed with new mission:
1. Depart from Kiel.
2. Patrol area: NULL
3. Return to Wilhelmshaffen. :D

While returning, Bernhard took control again. And managed to avert a close collision with piers of the first Hochbrugen. Only to tell navigator to get us on course again.

WITHOUT DELETING THE WAYPOINT WE PASSED. EOC. :damn:

[Gaijin]

Oh man.
The story about Gaijin sinking his own supply ship. That is truly epic :DL


I've always had a penchant (http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=130990) for resupply problems... :hmm2:

[brett25]

crash dive in 12 meters of water!:O:

[Snestorm]

Pressing the "2" (Ahead One Third) key, when I should have pressed "F2" (Control Room).
This is not particularly bright while using Silent Running.
Repeat offender.

[Paul Riley]

crash dive in 12 meters of water!:O:

That has GOT to hurt! :o:timeout:

[Jimbuna]

crash dive in 12 meters of water!:O:

Hardly deep enough to get your socks wet :DL

[Flopper]

2.5 hours of "why can't I lose these %$#%$#s?" Then order silent running.

[Snestorm]

2.5 hours of "why can't I lose these %$#%$#s?" Then order silent running.

You like to keep things exciting, eh?

[Paul Riley]

I actually like protracted evasion maneuvers,makes the game more thrilling (like it needed it in the first place?) and tests your skills to the limit :cool:
And in coastal waters?,its bloody nerve racking!

[Snestorm]

I actually like protracted evasion maneuvers,makes the game more thrilling (like it needed it in the first place?) and tests your skills to the limit :cool:
And in coastal waters?,its bloody nerve racking!

That's what makes the game for me.

[Steiger]

I was evading a single early-war escort (so it's not like my boat was in any serious danger) and I was getting a little too aggressive with my avoidance maneuvers, and the chief says to me that we're approaching critical depth, and I thought to myself "ah, shut up you old woman, I know what my boat can take." And then we crushed.

[Paul Riley]

I was evading a single early-war escort (so it's not like my boat was in any serious danger) and I was getting a little too aggressive with my avoidance maneuvers, and the chief says to me that we're approaching critical depth, and I thought to myself "ah, shut up you old woman, I know what my boat can take." And then we crushed.

Fantastic! :har::up:
NOW who's the old woman? :03:

[brett25]

Hardly deep enough to get your socks wethaha, yeah. Actually it was so shallow the boat hadn't enough time to gain momentum and there was only slight damage to the hull

[Capt. Teach]

OH the SHAME!

It was a cold and early morning in April '41 as I recall it.
The sky was completely overcast casting a dull grey pall over a normally beautiful sea. It was neither a calm nor angry sea and a mist was on the horizon in every direction. I thought to myself how the conditions couldn't be more perfect for the days hunt.

I had managed up until now to save the greater part of my eels for what I was expecting to be a rich hunting ground. I had postioned myself in the deeper waters located in the Northeastern section of AM68 and, as expected, I didn't have long to wait.

Like a modern-day herd of ghostly dinosaurs treking across the liquid tundra they came silently out of the mist. I watched for a few moments as these ghosts slowly began to re-materialize into corporeal mammoths of steel and fire. Belching forth the ashen smoke of their labor, they moved ever closer. Breaking out of my momentary daze, I gave the command to dive to periscope depth. I took up a postion that would allow me to fire upon my intended victims from both the fore and aft tubes, once they caught up to my location, then gave the commands to dive to 80 meters and rig for silent running.

Now, down below, I listened and waited. It came time to issue the order for periscope depth and my boat groaned in approval as we neared the surface. I saw my prey and snapped out my shots... sinking 2x Large Merchant, 1x Ammunition, and 1x Empire Merchant. Immediately after launching the last of my eels I gave the command to dive to 80 meters. I waited for the inevitable arrival of the escorts, confident I would evade them. I was right, and I did.

After my crew had reloaded the tubes I began my course, I had calculated and then plotted, which should place me in front of them again. It did, and I began to setup my position when suddenly I was informed a warship was closing at high speed. Stunned, I thought, .... No! It can't be ... they are still escorting ... did they hear us? How? ... I rushed to my periscope and began a quick scan. I was right ... I can see the escorts still with the convoy ... what the ... NOOOO! In mid scan I saw her coming....

An angry destroyer less than 500m and coming FAST. It must have been on regular patrol, it didn't belong to the convoy. Cursing at the prospect of another intercept course I snapped off the command EMERGENCY DIVE.

The crewman bellowed ALLLLAAARRRRRRMMMMMM!! The bell sang out the sound of desperation as I felt the floor below tilt sharply to the safety the depths promised.. SCREEEEECCHHH ... BOOM ... SCRAPPPPPPPEEEEE!!!!Were we rammed? [Not yet.] Crap-a-moley!!! its only about 20m deep here???!!!

OH the SHAME! I cried out as my crew and I listened to the closing engine sound of the destroyer. I knew my time, our time, was done.

I was right. :dead:

[Paul Riley]

What a tragedy.after a fruitful attack too :nope: