Official Eurogamer Review!!!

[Hyfrydle]

Oh dear this does not look good.

http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/silent-hunter-5-review

[mookiemookie]

Hard to argue with their assessment. :-?

[Cap'n Blake]

"Sexual tension as men rub past one another in corridors"
"phallic sea monster"
"God-groan of your penile vessel being warped by unknowable pressure"

I mean what the hell was that all about? I once had an impression that Eurogamer was quality review site...but obviously that was a long time ago.:doh:

[oscar19681]

"Sexual tension as men rub past one another in corridors"
"phallic sea monster"
"God-groan of your penile vessel being warped by unknowable pressure"

I mean what the hell was that all about? I once had an impression that Eurogamer was quality review site...but obviously that was a long time ago.:doh:

The first line sounds like its coming from some kind of gay magazine or somehing

[AVGWarhawk]

"Sexual tension as men rub past one another in corridors"
"phallic sea monster"
"God-groan of your penile vessel being warped by unknowable pressure"

I mean what the hell was that all about? I once had an impression that Eurogamer was quality review site...but obviously that was a long time ago.:doh:

Exactly. I just breezed over the rest after reading this in the first friggin page. This is not necessary in a 'professional' review.....

[JamesT73J]

It's actually a pretty fair review. I hope they come back and look at things again in 6 months.

[Nisgeis]

Reading about the game made me want to play the game :). Loading it now...

[Cap'n Blake]

After all tt was pretty "good" review except for some teenage humor on the first page. I agree almost 100% with the review.

[Iron Budokan]

The reviewer's attempt at high school sexual humor are pretty much fail.

But the review of the game itself, the myriad problems he brings out, sound comparable to what I've been hearing on this board.

[kylania]

I dunno, that was a pretty childish and vague review. The first two pages seem like nothing more than a generic forum rant. Hint at a lot of things, complain about a lot of things, but never really offer and specifics. Most of his first page is nothing more than a flowery setup for a stupid "bugs are difficulty setting" joke.

Page 3 adds in some real concerns, but i really get the sense he only played the tutorial and perhaps the first mission. His expectations for the tutorial are way more than any game tutorial would include. No game I've seen has in game interactive tutorials for everything like "emergency maneuvers" and "hunting tactics". It also shouldn't take 5 hours to do the first mission however unless you're totally new and have no idea what you're doing. (or you suck with torpedoes like I do!) It's also plainly obvious that he didn't progress in the campaign at all. His one description of combat is from a very early battle. Reports from people here that actually played the game confirm that as you progress the AI gets far smarter and more dangerous.

It looks to me like this guy just took a cursory glance at best, (the level of detail in his review could have been picked up just by skimming posts here) met a few bugs and decided to make a gay-joke-filled troll about it and call it a "review". Just like you can't review an MMO with only a few hours of play you can't review a game like Silent Hunter 5 with only a mission or two's worth of gameplay.

[gimpy117]

I agree. I'm glad he acknowledges that undoubtedly the game will be patched (and fixed by us :arrgh!:) but I think the reason its "a childish and vague review" is because its frankly a vague game. it's like Silent hunter 4 boiled down to a point where most of the features that were key to the success of your mission are gone. I mean hell i cant even dive deep without worrying im gonna hit bottom because there's no depth under keel!

[Faamecanic]

"Sexual tension as men rub past one another in corridors"
"phallic sea monster"
"God-groan of your penile vessel being warped by unknowable pressure"

I mean what the hell was that all about? I once had an impression that Eurogamer was quality review site...but obviously that was a long time ago.:doh:

In my best Freud voice "It seems the reviewer suffers from Penis envy"

[The Enigma]

It's almost like reading the reviews and comments in here.

You may like it or not, but compared to the other reviews out there, this one dears to point to the weak aspects of this game (and that is fair to me).

There is a lot of work to do for the modders. :salute:

[HundertzehnGustav]

As was the case with Silent Hunter 3 and 4, it's likely that between Ubisoft and the boys at Subsim.com (who've already released a glut of mods which, among other things, disable Silent Hunter 5's currently broken morale system) Silent Hunter 5 will be patched from the leaking, barnacle-coated wreck that it is now to comparative perfection by autumn, but right here and now it's simply not good enough.:yeah::rock:

[SteamWake]

while the game holds a protractor and set square up to your masculinity


Wow that dude has issues. :oops:


Why on earth was this game rushed? Were they trying to hit the shelves before all those high-profile submarine simulators under development at BioWare and Infinity Ward came out or something?


That is a very good question.

[janh]

The reviewer's attempt at high school sexual humor are pretty much fail.

But the review of the game itself, the myriad problems he brings out, sound comparable to what I've been hearing on this board.


It's not high school humor. Have you ever talked to an art historian interpreting and explain a painting? Take Piccasso and his Minotaurus, for example... It is very interesting to see how Piccasso compensated his sexual problems by painting himself over and over again.

[Silanda]

That is a very good question.

Budget. Longer development requires a full team to be paid for longer, so set a fixed date to get it out of the door and then hope that a reduced sized team can get it up to spec with patches.

[janh]

Oh, it is actually not a bad review, not at all. Sure, I'd like a review that describes each campaign and possible outcome to the least detail, and each feature a player might encounter in his lifetime in SHV, to get the full overview. But what can you really expect?

The reviewer does make some new points, indeed. Are there really no crew casualties and replacements? I can't remember how many crew members I had wounded and dead at the Flak and Deckgeschütz, in SHIII. That would be another bummer, needs to be added by whomever.

[AVGWarhawk]

It's not high school humor. Have you ever talked to an art historian interpreting and explain a painting? Take Piccasso and his Minotaurus, for example... It is very interesting to see how Piccasso compensated his sexual problems by painting himself over and over again.


:timeout:This guy only played a game. What does that have to do with Piccasso :hmmm:

[H-street]

what a horrible review,

nothing at all about how the campaign goes beyond a couple of sentences

reading this review it's clear its nothing more than a rant review and its clear he didn't play it behind the first 2 missions. Most his review is filled with fluff rant filler.

not saying his points aren't valid, but definately not a review that anyone here couldn't have done.

[Buckster]

I sort of agree with the review although I'd possibly move up to a 6

I found myself last night playing SH5 and actually wondering whether I should play a patched SH4 instead :( just too many bugs IMO

[Hitman]

reading this review it's clear its nothing more than a rant review and its clear he didn't play it behind the first 2 missions. Most his review is filled with fluff rant filler.

So what did you expect? The guy had been rubbing his hands in anticipation of an orgy at sea and close actions in the showers. It was obvious that as soon as he found out there was nothing like that, the review enthusiam would rapidly decline :har:

[Pilot37]

FAIR?

The only people being unfair are Ubisoft. On the few occassions I have time to play I cannot get on the server -5 points, that makes the score Zero.

Remove DRM, score up to 5. Fix bugs, Score up to 8.

Easy

Just do it.

Preferably before you con people out of their hard earned money.

The CEO Mr Yves Guillemott should be ashamed. He is ultimately responsible. Guess that means he doesn't give a ****

Fair?

[Myxale]

The article was quite accurate!
:arrgh!:

[rik007]

I think it is a good review. SH-5 is crap. Our dream that we would have Wolfpack is further away than ever. You may hope we will get some patches to repair something. If you would have bought a new car straight from a dealer in a state as SH-5 is in now you would not survive you voyage home.

By the way does somebody know has to set torpedo depth? Or a way to find a ship's keel depth?

[jwilliams]

By the way does somebody know has to set torpedo depth? Or a way to find a ship's keel depth?

depth settings and ships keel are on the UI used to fire torpedos

[quantumpawn]

Reviewer was a bit generous with 5/10 conclusion. I would have given it a 1/10.:-?

[tomoose]

....I said I hoped that they would take the GWX version of SH3 and go nuts on improving that. The modded SH3 is a damn good game/simulation. It looks like they tried to re-invent the wheel yet again and have failed miserably. Additionally, the DRM issue seems to be the nail in the coffin. One can only hope that the subsim community (aka: paying customers) avoid buying this game enough that it sends a clear message to Ubisnob.:-?

[Adriatico]

Eurogamer would be winner of ""Banner for Ubi forums" contest:

-----------
"As a game, Silent Hunter 5 fails because the bugs and UI render it a chore. As a simulation, it fails because the bugs and UI render it ridiculous and incomplete. As a product, it's just overwhelming disrespectful to this long running series' fans. And finally, as one of the first games to receive Ubisoft's new copy protection, it's an embarrassment."
-----------

Nice a and professional banner... for Ubi forums.
Pity its too late...

***
Last thing Ubi could do with such a Eurogamer article is to say - let the people play offline... and save the brand and face.

What would French prime minister do if Le Monde rates him officially 5/10?

:hmmm:

[Nordmann]

It's actually a pretty fair review. I hope they come back and look at things again in 6 months.

Agreed. Despite the unnecessary attempt at sexual innuendo, the review made some very good points. Ubi have obviously got a lot of work ahead of them, to get this game to where it needs to be! That is assuming of course, they will continue to support it past the first two or three patches.

[Mud]

I´ll take that guy is not really a sim reviewer and maybe he has some good points, he is not a benchmark for me.

http://www.eurogamer.net/archive.php?author=178

Mud

[Immacolata]

20 days Ancient. Not as if everyone here didnt read it already.

[mcarlsonus]

Sexual innuendo notwithstanding, I thought it was a fair and balanced review from someone who ADMITTED up front he was a fan of the series and was very disappointed with this, "bast*rdization!"

Er, WHAT are the "BioWare" and "Infinity Ward" competitors he's referring to?

[subsimlee]

Sorry, my bad, but as I said, it describes MY experience quite well without my long post...

[Skyraptor]

I agree. It is a loonngg way from being finished.