Brag
02-25-10, 10:40 AM
The sign on the door read: Ubisnot Director of Marketing.
Balz read the sign, readjusted his red silk smoking jacket causing his medals to clang.
He knocked on the door with the butt of his Mauser pistol and waited. After a few seconds, he stepped back, fired at the lock, jumped forward and kicked the door open.
Sitting behind his desk Monsieur DonesMoi Le Fric opened his eyes and blinked.
“Good Morninks,” Balz said aiming the pistol at the startled executive in the Armani suit
.”You’re supposed to ask for an appointment at reception,” the Suit growled.
Balz chuckled. “The receptionist is busy.”
“What do you mean busy?”
“She is in the bathroom trying on the belly dancer costume I gave her.” Balz took a seat in front of the desk. “I came to interview you.”
“We don’t give interviews, except when we have nothing to say.”
“Not even at gun point?”
“Never at gunpoint.”
Balz made himself comfortable. “How many interviews have you refused staring at the barrel of a pistol?”
“Zero.”
“Do you know who I am?”
“You look like a weirdo who plays PC games.”
Balz stood and assumed a heroic pose. “I am the greatest hero of the Kriegsmarine. A great protagonist in SH Three.” Balz leaned forward and stuck the barrel of his Mauser against Le Fric’s nose. “We will proceed with the interview. Do you speak Japanese?”
“We all speak English here.”
“Ah, interesting. But, do you understand it?”
“As well as Japanese”
Balz sat back on the guest chair. “Question number one, which comes before question number two because I ask it first in the correct numerical order, which will be followed by number three after I asked the first two questions.”
“I like mathematics,” Le Fric said.
“I thought you liked drums.”
“It’s not drums but Dee Arr Emmmm.”
“What does it stand for?”
“It stands for my great invention,” Le Fric adjusted his tie, “Direct Revolting Manipulation. But we changed the name to Oh Esss Pee.”
Balz nodded. “Do you pee a lot?”
Le Fric grabbed the edge of his desk as his face grew red. “I beg your pardon? I don’t pee.”
“Does that make you see the world in yellow?”
“No, I see the world in rosy pink because we changed the Oh Esss Pee to You Pay.” Le Fric smiled. “Pay and play, pay to play, Pay to pay. All marvelous marketing schemes.
“Question number two, which follows number one but precedes number six by a number of questions you are expected to answer in the proper order I will ask them. Therefore you will have to wait ‘til I ask a question before you answer Do you admire my genius?”
“We don’t admire our clients.”
“Question number one: Who is your market?”
Le Fric tugged at his diamond cuff links. “Our market consists of morons who play games. They are badly adjusted, childish individuals.”
“ So you don’t play games?”
“Only the corporate games one plays in the conference room and behind people’s backs. I am a serious adult individual.”
“So, you don’t respect your market?”
“Since ancient times markets been made to plunder.” Le Fric chuckled. “We are the modern version of buccaneers “
Balz smiled. “I was a pirate, too.”
“Pirate? Alaaarm. Call security.” Le Fric jumped from his chair and ran around the office.
Calmly, Balz remained seated. “Security? Don’t count on them. They are busy.”
Le Fric stopped as if he ran into a wall. “What do you mean?”
“Security is busy watching my belly dancers dance the cracka drums hoochie woochie.”
Balz placed his yellow duckie tea cozy on his head and went out of the building.
http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/9053/dancewithpiratevi9.gif
Balz read the sign, readjusted his red silk smoking jacket causing his medals to clang.
He knocked on the door with the butt of his Mauser pistol and waited. After a few seconds, he stepped back, fired at the lock, jumped forward and kicked the door open.
Sitting behind his desk Monsieur DonesMoi Le Fric opened his eyes and blinked.
“Good Morninks,” Balz said aiming the pistol at the startled executive in the Armani suit
.”You’re supposed to ask for an appointment at reception,” the Suit growled.
Balz chuckled. “The receptionist is busy.”
“What do you mean busy?”
“She is in the bathroom trying on the belly dancer costume I gave her.” Balz took a seat in front of the desk. “I came to interview you.”
“We don’t give interviews, except when we have nothing to say.”
“Not even at gun point?”
“Never at gunpoint.”
Balz made himself comfortable. “How many interviews have you refused staring at the barrel of a pistol?”
“Zero.”
“Do you know who I am?”
“You look like a weirdo who plays PC games.”
Balz stood and assumed a heroic pose. “I am the greatest hero of the Kriegsmarine. A great protagonist in SH Three.” Balz leaned forward and stuck the barrel of his Mauser against Le Fric’s nose. “We will proceed with the interview. Do you speak Japanese?”
“We all speak English here.”
“Ah, interesting. But, do you understand it?”
“As well as Japanese”
Balz sat back on the guest chair. “Question number one, which comes before question number two because I ask it first in the correct numerical order, which will be followed by number three after I asked the first two questions.”
“I like mathematics,” Le Fric said.
“I thought you liked drums.”
“It’s not drums but Dee Arr Emmmm.”
“What does it stand for?”
“It stands for my great invention,” Le Fric adjusted his tie, “Direct Revolting Manipulation. But we changed the name to Oh Esss Pee.”
Balz nodded. “Do you pee a lot?”
Le Fric grabbed the edge of his desk as his face grew red. “I beg your pardon? I don’t pee.”
“Does that make you see the world in yellow?”
“No, I see the world in rosy pink because we changed the Oh Esss Pee to You Pay.” Le Fric smiled. “Pay and play, pay to play, Pay to pay. All marvelous marketing schemes.
“Question number two, which follows number one but precedes number six by a number of questions you are expected to answer in the proper order I will ask them. Therefore you will have to wait ‘til I ask a question before you answer Do you admire my genius?”
“We don’t admire our clients.”
“Question number one: Who is your market?”
Le Fric tugged at his diamond cuff links. “Our market consists of morons who play games. They are badly adjusted, childish individuals.”
“ So you don’t play games?”
“Only the corporate games one plays in the conference room and behind people’s backs. I am a serious adult individual.”
“So, you don’t respect your market?”
“Since ancient times markets been made to plunder.” Le Fric chuckled. “We are the modern version of buccaneers “
Balz smiled. “I was a pirate, too.”
“Pirate? Alaaarm. Call security.” Le Fric jumped from his chair and ran around the office.
Calmly, Balz remained seated. “Security? Don’t count on them. They are busy.”
Le Fric stopped as if he ran into a wall. “What do you mean?”
“Security is busy watching my belly dancers dance the cracka drums hoochie woochie.”
Balz placed his yellow duckie tea cozy on his head and went out of the building.
http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/9053/dancewithpiratevi9.gif