krashkart's What Makes America Suck?

[krashkart]

I've tried in the past on various forums to strike up conversation about America. That is, America from the outside looking in. Had some success with it, even learned where to get cheap diesel... now if only I lived in Europe that would come in handy. :haha:

So, I have some time to burn at the moment. I am waiting for a fresh install of SH3 to complete, and I figured that I should try opening a new discussion.

And now comes the great question:

World, what makes America suck?

If nothing else, humor me. I want to know where all the cheap diesel is. :D

[TarJak]

OK for the humor, (sic), spelling is one of the things that makes America suck.

It is spelled H-U-M-O-U-R!!!! Same as color is spelled C-O-L-O-U-R!!!

Get it right then you can join the civilised world.:D BTW note the spelling of civilised! There is no zed (not zee), in it, never was, never will be. (Except in America). ;)

[Schroeder]

You don't know what football is.;)

[Oberon]

1783 :nope: ;)

[August]

America sucks because we are too awesome for the rest of the world except for maybe the Assies who unfortunately keep acting more and more like the Pommies they are descended from. :smug:

[krashkart]

1783 :nope: ;)

Oh, yeah. That. Sorry about that part.

*scratches neck*

We kinda lost our minds after the uh, you know, the little tea rebellion. It's been said that English tea of the day took on psychotropic properties when exposed to the waters of Boston Harbor. Maybe some of our ancestors, you know, ingested some of that water by accident and... *sigh* well the rest is history.

But look on the bright side: Those thirteen colonies grew to fifty states, and they brought you greasy fast food and infomercials. That's gotta count for something, right? :yeah:

*tries to pull off a convincing smile, doesn't quite get it right*

:shifty:

*facepalm*

Where's a press secretary when you need one. :nope:



Personal Notes:


It seems that some of them have an unusual manner of spelling common words. This may be of great importance. I must report this find immediately to Chief Linguist Quayle.

Additionally, I must learn more of this 'football' the Schroeder fellow speaks of. It is apparent that football as we know it has sprouted anew in other countries. From brief research it would appear that their football is an evolution of our own. Perhaps our majestic influence is beginning to take hold. The Devil's Advocate General will be most pleased to investigate this matter. Now we just need to get them all hooked on Schlitz.

Our patriot brother August has arrived. Perhaps he brought a press secretary with him.


*looks up*

Hey! Stop peeking at my notes! :stare:

[frau kaleun]

http://img236.imageshack.us/img236/9046/popcorn21ki.gif

[Dowly]

http://img236.imageshack.us/img236/9046/popcorn21ki.gif

I call and raise with a cat.
http://i230.photobucket.com/albums/ee274/Finnish_Ferret/cat2rq0.gif

[ReFaN]

I call and raise with a cat.
http://i230.photobucket.com/albums/ee274/Finnish_Ferret/cat2rq0.gif

i go all in with someone asking for help

:help:

[frau kaleun]

I call and raise with a cat.
http://i230.photobucket.com/albums/ee274/Finnish_Ferret/cat2rq0.gif

http://www.catsthatlooklikepirates.org/wp-content/uploads/Pirate_Cat_Portrait.jpg

[AVGWarhawk]

This should be good...ready? Set? GO!!!!!!!!!

[frau kaleun]

This should be good...ready? Set? GO!!!!!!!!!

If we're having an img battle, I'll just cede to Jimbuna now. :O:

[AVGWarhawk]

If we're having an img battle, I'll just cede to Jimbuna now. :O:


Yeah, Jimbuna has a slew of images.

[AVGWarhawk]

I will see your one eye cat and raise you a popcorn eating MJ :O:

http://i968.photobucket.com/albums/ae164/AznHook/popcornj.gif

[SteamWake]

LOL somehow I dont think this is exactly what KK expected...

I love it ! :salute:

Sorry no snappy images :doh: so Ill leave you with wack a kitty

http://i259.photobucket.com/albums/hh312/UlteriorModem/Wackacat.gif

[frau kaleun]

I will see your one eye cat and raise you a popcorn eating MJ :O:

http://i968.photobucket.com/albums/ae164/AznHook/popcornj.gif

IMG linking fail. :O:

[Weiss Pinguin]

I will see your one eye cat and raise you a popcorn eating MJ :O:

http://i968.photobucket.com/albums/ae164/AznHook/popcornj.gif
I see your two-eyed Michael Jackson and raise you one SCARLETT JOHANSSON eating popcorn

http://i599.photobucket.com/albums/tt79/englishmuse/ScarJo_popcorn.gif

[AVGWarhawk]

Celebrity popcorn eating thread! One Madonna raised.

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv101/mishlee78/th2dltbo0jpg.gif

[August]

Celebrity popcorn eating thread! One Madonna raised.

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv101/mishlee78/th2dltbo0jpg.gif

Nope sorry. Scarlet definitely trumps Madonna. :shucks:

[AVGWarhawk]

But not Sponge Bob :O:

http://i382.photobucket.com/albums/oo268/Antpantsss/GIFs/Spongebob-Popcorn.gif

[frau kaleun]

http://www.englishforum.ch/attachments/family-matters/98d1158920230-kindergartens-oerlikon-zurich-hijack.gif

[krashkart]

That didn't take long. :rotfl2:

I see your thread hijacking and raise you several sets of roasted buns. :O:

[Sailor Steve]

Nope sorry. Scarlet definitely trumps Madonna. :shucks:
Especially when her forearm...

Oh, never mind. I'm gonna go look at her some more.

[frau kaleun]

That didn't take long. :rotfl2:

I see your thread hijacking and raise you several sets of roasted buns. :O:

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/77/182347437_4b5a81c107.jpg?v=0

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2128/2469982848_9b8c3aae58.jpg?v=1210043006

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/128/372307180_cb61182b0f.jpg?v=0

[AVGWarhawk]

http://www.ccbpublishing.com/crossedbunssmall.gif

Dowly is looking for this book on Amazon right now.

[krashkart]

I am not happy about this.

[Weiss Pinguin]

Especially when her forearm...

Oh, never mind. I'm gonna go look at her some more.
I could watch her all day...

http://i259.photobucket.com/albums/hh316/Sixft12/netvibes/eatingpopcorn.gif

[AVGWarhawk]

I am not happy about this.

Welcome to America! :har:

[krashkart]

Welcome to America! :har:

No. Please don't hijack this thread. I am not happy about this.

[AVGWarhawk]

No. Please don't hijack this thread. I am not happy about this.

And now you understand what sucks about America! We don't listen. :O:

[Dowly]

Playing world police, being all that "important", money runs everything, hypocrisy. I think that covers the main things why America sucks monkey nuggets. It's all ME ME ME ME ME.

That, of course is my opinion and since you asked... :hmmm:

[krashkart]

I can respect that Dowly. Maybe I don't see it from the inside the way yourself and others see it from the outside. That's why I posted this thread. It's not likely that I'll be adventuring outside the US anytime soon. I'm just trying to understand.

[Dowly]

Well, everyone sees things differently. Either because they are too close to the subject as you would be in this case or they just think things differently in life which then dictates what they think is ok and what's not.

[AVGWarhawk]

Playing world police, being all that "important", money runs everything, hypocrisy. I think that covers the main things why America sucks monkey nuggets. It's all ME ME ME ME ME.

That, of course is my opinion and since you asked... :hmmm:


Damn Dowly, you make it sound like it's a problem or something. :haha::O: So what about me? and me and me and me...

[Dowly]

Sorry, didn't mean to. :O:

[AVGWarhawk]

I like that sig Dowly. Hehe, cool. I remember the first Aliens movie when it first came out. Geez..showing my age. :D Oh, man that little baby alien eating his way out of the stomach....yuck

[Jimbuna]

We've just heard that scientists have discovered a meteor heading towards Earth.

They have calculated that it will strike the U.S.A. at around 2:00am tomorrow.

It will completely wipe out the U.S.A. from the face of the earth.

We in Britain are faced with a terrible dilemma: should we stay up and watch it live on TV, or record it and watch it after breakfast?

:O:

[Dowly]

I like that sig Dowly. Hehe, cool. I remember the first Aliens movie when it first came out. Geez..showing my age. :D Oh, man that little baby alien eating his way out of the stomach....yuck

Hehe, they had even more gross scene that they ended up not using due to it breaking the "HURRY UP AND GTFO" feel of the later part of the film.

Anywho, it was a scene where Ripley heard moaning from the lower decks of the ship and found that the alien had started to build an hive there (you know the black stuff you see in Aliens). What made it gross was that both Dallas and Brett where there, Brett had already molted almost completely to an egg, only his head was visible and Dallas was alive but he had started to molt abit too. So, Ripley flames the place and moves on.

Too bad they didnt include it, would have both made it better IMHO and added abit more to the lore of the aliens and what makes them tick. :hmmm:

The scene can be found here (~4:40) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZMPIcNj2_4)

Concept art of the scene:
http://www.avpgalaxy.net/gallery/displayimage.php?pid=1069&fullsize=1

[AVGWarhawk]

Nasty!

[antikristuseke]

what makes america suck is the worlds largest porn industry, i can hear the slupring noise from here.

[Dowly]

what makes america suck is the worlds largest porn industry, i can hear the slupring noise from here.

Ah! Thanks for reminding, that's another reason why america sucks, the BJs in today's movies are all that gag gag puke puke stuff. What happened to the slow sensuel stuff? :stare:

Oh well, there's always the french to fall on. :hmmm:

[NeonSamurai]

Lets not turn this into a discussion of what is wrong with porn. That could fill several volumes and isn't very appropriate.

[August]

Playing world police, being all that "important", money runs everything, hypocrisy. I think that covers the main things why America sucks monkey nuggets. It's all ME ME ME ME ME.

That, of course is my opinion and since you asked... :hmmm:

We tried to let the Finns be world police but they kept raiding the English coast in their longboats.

[antikristuseke]

At least it wasn't the Estonians, last time that happened we burned Swedens capital to the ground.

[Ishmael]

What the hell. I'll bite on this one. Americans are dumber than a bag of hammers and the most gullible people on the planet. You can talk us into doing damn near anything, but you can't MAKE us do a damn thing. We also have this pathological need to "help" people. Whether that's "helping" to "civilize" the native Americans, "helping" save Europe's collective posteriors in two world wars or "helping" the Iranians, Iraqis and Afghanis play musical dictators, the result is the same.

So here's my idea. We should stop "helping" everybody and just mind our own business. We should bring ALL our troops home from everywhere, Afghanistan, Iraq, Korea, Japan, Germany, everywhere. Then we should put them to work planting mine fields along the Mexican and Canadian borders and inspecting the entire contents of every cargo container in every port in the nation. We should erect high tarriffs on all imported goods to encourage domestic production and jobs, quit the UN and throw them out of New York. Then we should begin an intensive overhaul of the nation's electrical grid and construct massive solar and wind generation plants in the southwestern deserts. Any illegal immigrants should be immediately be sent back to their country of origin and all illegals here should be immediately deported. Any Americans who want to leave the country should be allowed to go with the understanding they may not get back in. Then, when the next big world crisis comes along, we can send the world a message:

My! What an unfortunate circumstance!

Oh. I forgot to add. Any foreign visitors are welcome as long as they have a return flight ticket back home.

[Dowly]

What the hell. I'll bite on this one. Americans are dumber than a bag of hammers and the most gullible people on the planet. You can talk us into doing damn near anything, but you can't MAKE us do a damn thing. We also have this pathological need to "help" people. Whether that's "helping" to "civilize" the native Americans, "helping" save Europe's collective posteriors in two world wars or "helping" the Iranians, Iraqis and Afghanis play musical dictators, the result is the same.

So here's my idea. We should stop "helping" everybody and just mind our own business. We should bring ALL our troops home from everywhere, Afghanistan, Iraq, Korea, Japan, Germany, everywhere. Then we should put them to work planting mine fields along the Mexican and Canadian borders and inspecting the entire contents of every cargo container in every port in the nation. We should erect high tarriffs on all imported goods to encourage domestic production and jobs, quit the UN and throw them out of New York. Then we should begin an intensive overhaul of the nation's electrical grid and construct massive solar and wind generation plants in the southwestern deserts. Any illegal immigrants should be immediately be sent back to their country of origin and all illegals here should be immediately deported. Any Americans who want to leave the country should be allowed to go with the understanding they may not get back in. Then, when the next big world crisis comes along, we can send the world a message:

My! What an unfortunate circumstance!

Oh. I forgot to add. Any foreign visitors are welcome as long as they have a return flight ticket back home.

Forgot one, they cant take critique. :yep:

[Task Force]

Aaaahhhh... anouther "america sucks thread..." Why dont we ever do a "Insert european country here" sucks, thread.:rotfl2:

I myself blame this entire thing on the British.:O:
http://www.thedimes.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/yorktown1.jpg
*cough cough... Yorktown...

but anyways... I LOL at some of the european -> american stereo types... lol

But... why name it Why America sucks? America is a continent... That includes the canadian, mexico, south american countrys... So GETS IT RIGHT EUROPEANS, Its the United States...

[Ishmael]

Forgot one, they cant take critique. :yep:


Oh, I don't know. I thought my assesment of my fellow countrymen was fairly spot on. So we shouldn't lend ourselves to criticism precisely by minding our own business. Remember that the vast majority of Americans don't give a tinker's damn about the opinions of foreigners, hell, most of us couldn't even find Finland on a map. So think of the New World Paradise. No more ugly Americans wandering around being boorish, insensitive and thinking EVERYONE speaks English if you only talk loudly and slowly enough. I actually like the Japanese model where we just close our borders for the next 200 years or so and let y'all work it out for yourselves. No more Americans trying to tell you what to do. No more WTO, GATT, IMF or any of those other alphabet stew organisations trying to run your lives. We just stay home and readopt the framer's original foreign policy vision of Strict Neutrality.

[AVGWarhawk]

What the hell. I'll bite on this one. Americans are dumber than a bag of hammers and the most gullible people on the planet. You can talk us into doing damn near anything, but you can't MAKE us do a damn thing. We also have this pathological need to "help" people. Whether that's "helping" to "civilize" the native Americans, "helping" save Europe's collective posteriors in two world wars or "helping" the Iranians, Iraqis and Afghanis play musical dictators, the result is the same.

So here's my idea. We should stop "helping" everybody and just mind our own business. We should bring ALL our troops home from everywhere, Afghanistan, Iraq, Korea, Japan, Germany, everywhere. Then we should put them to work planting mine fields along the Mexican and Canadian borders and inspecting the entire contents of every cargo container in every port in the nation. We should erect high tarriffs on all imported goods to encourage domestic production and jobs, quit the UN and throw them out of New York. Then we should begin an intensive overhaul of the nation's electrical grid and construct massive solar and wind generation plants in the southwestern deserts. Any illegal immigrants should be immediately be sent back to their country of origin and all illegals here should be immediately deported. Any Americans who want to leave the country should be allowed to go with the understanding they may not get back in. Then, when the next big world crisis comes along, we can send the world a message:

My! What an unfortunate circumstance!

Oh. I forgot to add. Any foreign visitors are welcome as long as they have a return flight ticket back home.


Excellent! Where do I sign up! Good one Ishmael!

[Hakahura]

Don't know about America, but the current administration sucks because...

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/article7040245.ece

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/tobyyoung/100027397/et-tu-barack-america-betrays-britain-in-her-hour-of-need/

This has angered me a bit to say the least.

[Bubblehead1980]

As a US citizen, angers me greatly.We have a dangerous admin right now, good thing its not Chavez or he would take his side instead of the Brits:damn: Please know Obama not represent most Americans when it comes to the US/UK friendship.

[Highbury]

Well it was a fun thread until someone took it seriously... :yawn:

[Task Force]

Well it was a fun thread until someone took it seriously... :yawn:

ya just got to not pay attention to those people sometimes...

[krashkart]

I was having fun writing utter silliness till the damn thing was hijacked. Then it lost continuity. Didn't realize there was a series of "America Sucks" threads, either. Oh well. Best laid plans and whatnot. ;)

Have at it.

[Ishmael]

Excellent! Where do I sign up! Good one Ishmael!

Thanks, guy. And I'm a Liberal, but I ain't an Internationalist. I've seen enough of the globe in the 30 or so countries I've visited to last me for a lifetime. Everywhere I went, it was like my Daddy used to tell me:

Yankee go Home, But take me with you.

So If I feel this way, think of how my more conservative countrymen feel.
Also, as long as I'm on the subject of deportation, I would also deport the entire board of directors of any corporation that ships American jobs overseas to Somalia.

[Catfish]

Well, i did not take it serious :D

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y174/penaeus/respectforamerica.jpg

:o:88)

:rotfl2::rotfl2::rotfl2:

Greetings,
Catfish

[Task Force]

Hmm... lol, very odd... what have YOU been looking up...:rotfl2:

[Oberon]

:o:stare::doh::doh::dead::rotfl2:

[Sailor Steve]

Aaaahhhh... anouther "america sucks thread..." Why dont we ever do a "Insert european country here" sucks, thread.:rotfl2:
Because nobody cares whether "Insert european country here" sucks or not.

Didn't realize there was a series of "America Sucks" threads, either.
There aren't. Every now and then someone starts a thread complaining about something American, and someone else feels he's being picked on.

Conversely, every now and then someone starts a completely innocent thread, and one of a select few feels compelled to chime in with "America Sucks!"

It's a free internet. You have to live with it.

[krashkart]

Well, I reacted like a complete idiot anyway. I would sincerely like for my thread to be deleted outright so I never have to look at it again. What a failure this was. :nope:


:damn::damn::damn::damn::damn:

[longam]

You'all just jealous of our big mansions.

http://cruciality.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/redneck-mansion.jpg

[Oberon]

Oh, now that is win! :rock:

[Hakahura]

Well it was a fun thread until someone took it seriously... :yawn:

err, oops, sorry

:cry:

No really.

[Hakahura]

Somebody please come up with something funny.
Was not my intention to hijack a humorous thread.

[Oberon]

Alternately we can balance out some of the stuff that we think makes America suck with some of the stuff that we think makes it awesome.

For me, it's some of the fantastic stuff you guys come up with, be it television shows, movies or military vehicles, you guys can build it and build it well. :yep:

One of my machines of the moment is this beauty:

http://www.intheshadowoftheblade.com/_Images/Photos/LZs/LZ%20Alabama/1st-lift-off.jpg

The Huey, used worldwide and savior of countless service-mens lives through several decades.

Well done America :up:

[Hakahura]

Well if we are talking awesome American machines...

http://aftermathnews.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/trident_missile_launch.jpg?w=500

[Ishmael]

Hey. I KNOW America sucks. I LIVE here. I lived in Vallejo, the only town in America featured on Unsolved Mysteries twice in the same month for 15 years. I worked in Oakland for 10 years and actually cut off the 580 Shooter on the freeway one night in '89. The only reason I remembered the guy's face was because he DIDN'T flip me off. When they finally caught the guy, literally gun-in-hand over his sixth victim and published his picture in the Tribune, I recognized him and wound up calling Oakland PD Homicide and giving a statement tying him and his car to the first murder. I lived in LA for 8 years, where they only kill you for your money, your drugs or if you drive like an idiot and worked night shift in Paramount, Compton, El Monte and South Central as the Whitest guy on the planet. I felt more comfortable there than I ever did in Beverly Hills or Bel Air. I lived for a while in Lodi and Stockton, the latter the #1 Worst City in the Nation until getting beat out by perennial rival, Cleveland, Oh.

At 56, I'm now in the shadow world of too young for Social Security but too old to hire and was laidoff from my last job 3 years ago. My wife is semi-invalid so the few interviews I DO get always wind up with the Company's HR people running, screaming, from the room. So, even though I have 30 years of telecom experience on everything from the residential service lines coming out of the house to the radio, satellite and fiber headed out of town and have kept that service working in the midst of TWO major disasters(89 Loma Prieta and '92 Northridge quakes), I can't get a job. My health insurance is a distant memory and the best I can hope for on that front is to be forced to buy an overpriced policy by government mandate to make health insurance companies even MORE wealthy while my government pours trillions of dollars down two holes in the sand halfway around the world.

So, Yeah. It pretty much sucks big Green ones from where I sit. On the other hand, I never had to ride the A/C Transit bus with Epic Beard Guy and Oakland DID give the world Tower of Power:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xE-TfJQ0WKA

I'm also doing my bit to at least shine a light on the suckiness by writing for Sibel Edmonds in the forlorn hope I can possibly make it suck slightly less.

The reason I'm still here is that, as sucky as America is, most of the places I visited sucked even more when I was there. My sister-in-law is a native Athenian, the appropriately named Athena. She told me the following years ago and, as a native Californian, I agree:

Leaving California is like getting into a Time Machine. The farther away you get from California, the farther back in time you go.

So, now I hang out with my Ind'in brothers on the rez and laugh at all you wasitchus.

http://img152.imageshack.us/img152/2901/powwow12zg4.jpg

Anawashte, kolas.

[August]

We do appreciate European technology though...

http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/550volkswagen.jpg

[TarJak]

Because nobody cares whether "Insert european country here" sucks or not.Let's be honest Steve, nobody but an American would care whether the rest of the world thinks America sucks or not either.:haha:

[Task Force]

You'all just jealous of our big mansions.

http://cruciality.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/redneck-mansion.jpg

Gives a new meaning to " If the trailer is a rockin, dont come a' knockin...":har:

Or maby it is a experimantal hotel...:hmmm: I think ive seen worse... usualy ran by a Indian (not to be confused with the ones who are native to here) man...:rotfl2:

(note, ill take the one on the middle right, nice view of the old junk cars)

[antikristuseke]

You'all just jealous of our big mansions.

pictar was here

Bloody pikeys...

[Ducimus]

My thoughts pretty much mirror Ishmael's. (http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showpost.php?p=1280669&postcount=45)

[Onkel Neal]

1783 :nope: ;) :haha:

[CaptainHaplo]

Hmmmm - 1783 - Treaty of Paris - Britain formally recognizes the independance of America....

1783 was a bad thing? Well Oberon, should we have sent Cornwallis home in a bag, his head in a bucket to be delivered to the monarch? Should we have then built our own navy and sailed East, invading England and showing the French and Spanish how it should be done?

There are significant reasons why the US sucks - though I do have to say the suckage is outweighed by the good. But, if you want to point out flaws in our nation, go ahead. I can name a number of them.

#1. Nowhere in this country can you get a really authentic dark German Beer. (I don't drink anymore, but every once in a while a good heavy vison style brew would be nice)

#2. The most powerful non-caucasian man in the history of this country..... still lives in government housing. Whats up with that????

#3. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

#4. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

#5. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

#6. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

#7. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

#8. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

#9. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

#10. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

#11. Only in America.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

#12. Only in America......do we have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

[Catfish]

Hi,

i will compare this to Germany ...

#1. Nowhere in this country can you get a really authentic Miller brew, just for comparison -

#2. The secretary of the state is a confessing homosexual, and our chancellor is a woman (someone said it's nice to be governed by two women ahem)

#3. Not only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. You can replace Pizza with turkish Doener kebap, or even chinese food of all kinds - will always be faster than an ambulance.

#4. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
ooo-kay :D 1:0

#5. Not only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Same here :nope:

#6. Not only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Those fat McDonald's chicks are not reserved for the US anymore, people here tend to eat and sit around playing video games ...

#7. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Ok, no pens here. They have all been stolen ...

#8. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
This is called showing-off, has to do with hopeful jealousy, and is not especially America. Anyway you have to care for this 50-bucks lawn mower lol

#9. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Yep, same here ..

#10. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Now this is one big difference. We usually get up to 10 buns, in a package (with or without hot dogs), but the package will always burst - so you have eight buns - wait - no difference :D

#11. Only in America.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Politicians are the same all over the world. Only Italy's Berlusconi is a bit more audacious, as to publicly change laws in his favour pro corruption, and openly admits belonging to the Mafia. :down:

#12. Only in America......do we have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Ok, you won :dead:


But a good list ! :rotfl2::rotfl2::rotfl2:

Greetings,
Catfish

[bgey]

Well, I reacted like a complete idiot anyway. I would sincerely like for my thread to be deleted outright so I never have to look at it again. What a failure this was. :nope:

aw, come on. How can a thread ever by a failure if it's featuring Scarlet? :/\\k:

[Oberon]

Don't worry, we'll get our own back one day :03::haha: Just as soon as we figure out how to fund our armed forces :hmmm:

[Tribesman]

#4. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
ooo-kay :D 1:0

Nooooo.
Many years ago I somehow got involved with the sunshine club over in Britain.
The disabled parking at the ice rinks is a damn good idea, the disabled parking at the ski slopes is an absolute neccesity as no matter how fit you think you are that task will near kill ya.

BTW Catfish, in germany like most other countries you have to have them, its not only for disabled skaters its also for disabled parents taking their kids to skate.

Just as soon as we figure out how to fund our armed forces
Thats easy, get the government to only take deployments that pay well and have someone else paying the bill....though of course the governmentjust takes the money they get by selling the service and spend it elsewhere

[krashkart]

aw, come on. How can a thread ever by a failure if it's featuring Scarlet? :/\\k:

Just ignore that post. I was having a pity party yesterday. All better today. :salute:

************

I'll chip in here:

What makes America suck in my view, over the last nine years, is an amalgam of a number of things.

First of all, the media kept the memory of 9/11 fresh in my mind for three or four years. They would not let it go, the President would not let it go, and I finally had to turn the news off. All I could think was "Enough already!!!".

******

After 9/11 the whole dang country went bugsh** with paranoia. Take for instance the most recent Shuttle disaster. When the news reported that a shuttle had burned up over the Gulf coast, I remember very clearly the news anchor saying "It does not appear to be an act of terrorism".... I was so insulted by that statement that I nearly threw the TV out the window. "Garsh! Osama Bin Laden blew up the Space Shuttle!" - gimme a break. The media must have a really dim view of the public.

******

The globally-broadcast music tribute, live in NYC after the Towers fell. What the hell makes us so special that we needed to broadcast such an idiotic display of egocentric selfishness to the world? I didn't watch it. Bombs go off and kill people the world over, every day of every week, and those dead hardly receive attention here. But something bad happens in America, we have to let the rest of the world know just how sad and hurt we are. Feel sorry for us, World. Feel very sorry. Bah!

******

Iraq. Big mistake. Afghanistan was one thing, but the invasion of Iraq was sheer stupidity. My opinion of the President went from the upper-70's to about zero when he announced his ultimatum to Saddam Hussein on TV that morning.

I'll refine my view on Iraq:

Firstly, we spread our military across two fronts. Secondly, our nations' prestige and honor took a major hit. I've never been more ashamed of a decision made by our government. What sucks is, when it came time to hire a new President in '04, there was no option but to keep the sot in office and let him try to finish what he had started the year before.

******

Finally, we owe money to China. China!! :damn: Thanks for everything, GW. You really made America shine. :up:

[krashkart]

Somebody please come up with something funny.
Was not my intention to hijack a humorous thread.

I don't see where you hijacked it. It all started about 10 or 11 posts in and ended when that psycho krashkart pitched a fit. No worries. ;)

Alternately we can balance out some of the stuff that we think makes America suck with some of the stuff that we think makes it awesome.

Well if we are talking awesome American machines...

I would like to counterpoint (even though we do make some really cool stuff):

The UK made the Lancaster, one of the utmost in awesomeness as far as WWII heavy bombers.

Then of course there was the elegant little Spitfire.

And how about the Vulcan bomber? We never came up with anything like that.

Moving right along, the Harrier. If that isn't a really cool machine, I don't know what is. And the Tornado (both AGS/IDF).

You also brought us Red Dwarf, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Dr. Who (both the original and the recent one), Douglas Adams (who gave us the Hitchiker's Guide series).

Let's not forget Alfred Hitchcock; without him American horror films would be crap. Heck, you even brought us the Beatles! :DL

That's just to name a few things. But I think the most important thing you've given us is friendship. Wait... and some decent beers. Long live the UK. :salute:

[Ishmael]

I don't see where you hijacked it. It all started about 10 or 11 posts in and ended when that psycho krashkart pitched a fit. No worries. ;)





I would like to counterpoint (even though we do make some really cool stuff):

The UK made the Lancaster, one of the utmost in awesomeness as far as WWII heavy bombers.

Then of course there was the elegant little Spitfire.

And how about the Vulcan bomber? We never came up with anything like that.

Moving right along, the Harrier. If that isn't a really cool machine, I don't know what is. And the Tornado (both AGS/IDF).

You also brought us Red Dwarf, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Dr. Who (both the original and the recent one), Douglas Adams (who gave us the Hitchiker's Guide series).

Let's not forget Alfred Hitchcock; without him American horror films would be crap. Heck, you even brought us the Beatles! :DL

That's just to name a few things. But I think the most important thing you've given us is friendship. Wait... and some decent beers. Long live the UK. :salute:

You forgot these:

http://img124.imageshack.us/img124/241/1twomorganslf9.jpg

[krashkart]

Guess I'm not much of a car guy, but yeah, good point Ishmael. :sign_yeah:

[krashkart]

Personal Log - February 27th:


The High Priest has issued a mandate that all active field agents step up their efforts in gathering information of the extra-nationals. Our plans for dominating this puny little planet are coming along quite nicely, but more must be known of these strange cultures before a decision can be made as to their usefulness.

The ones who called themselves "Americans" proved too rebellious to enslave and were therefore forcefully integrated in early 2003. We now reside in their bodies and their minds are ours. Such insolence they showed us!

My efforts to date have been commended at the highest levels. Master Patriarch Cheney himself is recommending me for promotion to Uber Imaginary of Cultural Engineering! A very high honor indeed! I must continue my work here at this "SUB SIM".



Are you peeking at my notebook again?? :stare:

[Oberon]

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

[frau kaleun]

Personal Log - February 27th:
The High Priest has issued a mandate that all active field agents step up their efforts in gathering information of the extra-nationals. Our plans for dominating this puny little planet are coming along quite nicely, but more must be known of these strange cultures before a decision can be made as to their usefulness.

....

OMG it's a COOKBOOK!

[Jimbuna]

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

Way aye man :|\\

[TarJak]

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

Way aye man :|\\
I see Oberon has taken to speaking Geordie shorthand again.:doh:

[antikristuseke]

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

57 65 6c 6c 20 70 6c 61 79 65 64 2c 20 67 6f 6f 64 20 73 69 72 2c 20 77 65 6c 6c 20 70 6c 61 79 65 64

[Platapus]

....

OMG it's a COOKBOOK!


Awesome!! :yeah:

[Oberon]

Way aye man :|\\

Ayrite Ayrite camdan camdan :know:

[TarJak]

Eeeh man, ahm gannin te the booza. A ye Cammin dan tha booza fa a dog mon o wot?:O:

[Schroeder]

OMG it's a COOKBOOK!


Awesome!! :yeah:
May I ask what this is about? This is haunting me since I watched Hot Shots 1 more than 10 years ago and I still can't make any sense of it.:wah:

[Oberon]

Eeeh man, ahm gannin te the booza. A ye Cammin dan tha booza fa a dog mon o wot?:O:

Alreet man, ye buying.

Or as they'd say in my old stompin grounds.

Right mate, ya goin dahn the nuclear sub for a diddly dink?
Yeah alright guv, first rounds on ya.

[TarJak]

Too right mate. I'll get 'em in for the poms. Two Schooies of Resch's luv!

There ya go digger, get that down ya neck.

[Jimbuna]

Eeeh man, ahm gannin te the booza.

Let weh aal gan doon te the bar for a drink

Get tha broon dog doon yer neck bonny lad

[frau kaleun]

May I ask what this is about? This is haunting me since I watched Hot Shots 1 more than 10 years ago and I still can't make any sense of it.:wah:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5x0BSgLKnSk

From Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_Serve_Man_(The_Twilight_Zone)):


A race of aliens known as the Kanamits lands on Earth and promises to be helpful to the cause of humanity. Initially wary of the intentions of such a highly advanced race, even the most skeptical people are convinced when their code-breakers begin to translate one of the Kanamit's books, which has the seemingly innocuous title, To Serve Man.

Sharing their advanced technology, the aliens quickly are able to solve all of Earth's greatest woes, eradicating hunger, disease, and the need for warfare. Soon, humans are volunteering themselves for trips to the Kanamits' home planet, which is supposedly a paradise.

Everything takes a turn for the worst, however, when a code-breaker discovers the Kanamits' true intentions. Their book, To Serve Man, is actually a cookbook, and all their gifts were subtle methods of causing humans to gain weight, much like fattening pigs or cows before they are deported to a slaughterhouse. The code-breaker tries to warn the people boarding the ship about what lies in wait, but a Kanamit pushes the last few unsuspecting victims into the spaceship, trapping them inside until they return to their home planet.

[krashkart]

Do not listen to the strange torpedo woman. Everyone knows that Wikipedia is not 100% accurate. :know:

*sprinkles frau kaleun with tenderizer*

Or, should that be tenderiser. :D

Alreet man, ye buying.

Or as they'd say in my old stompin grounds.

Right mate, ya goin dahn the nuclear sub for a diddly dink?
Yeah alright guv, first rounds on ya.

Too right mate. I'll get 'em in for the poms. Two Schooies of Resch's luv!

There ya go digger, get that down ya neck.

Eeeh man, ahm gannin te the booza.

Let weh aal gan doon te the bar for a drink

Get tha broon dog doon yer neck bonny lad

Over here it's:

Hey! Long time no see!
What are you talkin' about? We just got off work an hour ago.
I know!
Sweet! Lets go shoot some pool.
Yer buyin'
*shove*

Or something to that effect.

May I ask what this is about? This is haunting me since I watched Hot Shots 1 more than 10 years ago and I still can't make any sense of it.:wah:

:rotfl2:



It looks like we've run out of international views on America (or more properly, the United States). Shall we Spam? :sunny:

EDIT:

Maybe I better belay that, in case more anti-American gripes come in. :D

[nikimcbee]

what makes america suck is the worlds largest porn industry, i can hear the slupring noise from here.

Are you sure you're not hearing Ferretlandia to the north?:haha:

[antikristuseke]

no, the sound of vomit and drinking of cheap booze they buy here comes from that direction.

[Schroeder]

@frau kaleun

Thanks.:salute:

[frau kaleun]

@frau kaleun

Thanks.:salute:

You're welcome!

[frau kaleun]

Do not listen to the strange torpedo woman. Everyone knows that Wikipedia is not 100% accurate. :know:

*sprinkles frau kaleun with tenderizer*

Or, should that be tenderiser. :D

:rotfl2:

If you can tenderize this tough old broad, then it really will be the end of the world as we know it.

I would strongly suggest, however, not poking me with a fork. That'll get you nothing but a kick. Inna fork. :O:

[Ishmael]

What Makes America Suck? I would rather ask,

Mr. Policeman. What Makes America GREAT?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-4YF7S7rHo

Just remember, Abraham Lincoln didn't die in vain. He died in Wahington, D.C.