Whats this hype about Bernard?

[Undefined]

Hello there!

Well i am a new in these forums and also new with subsims. I havent played SH3 very much so may i ask whats with all these "things" with bernard? I can see that in funny screenshot thread he is dominating but i dont know why. Can someone please explain ? :D

[Hitman]

LOL

This a joke that "veterans" here play often :haha:

Consider it your baptims of fire and wellcome as noob by asking it. I congratulate you for having the guts to ask it openly :up:

"Bernard" was the name given by user Dowly (http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/member.php?u=215617) to the officer in a humourous screenshot thread (http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=84773). Since then, "Bernard" as crewmember ha been the reason and cause for all disgraces that happen in your uboat; the useless crewmember nobody wants, the bad-luck magnet and escape goat for anything.

So, wellcome to subsim :salute: and to the fraternity of the "Bernard" fans :arrgh!:

[HW3]

So what we are saying is, anything that goes wrong is not your fault, blame it on "Bernard".:up:

[Sailor Steve]

That's right, Bernard started as a name simply because Dowly had to call him something, but today he is the catch-all we blame for all of our screw-ups.

[Undefined]

Thanks guys for enlightening me :rotfl2:

[Rhodes]

I wonder if they will update him (downdate or downgrade him, since improving bernard just makes him do what he does even better:dead:) in SHV?:hmmm:

[Task Force]

Bernard will ruin yer day.:rotfl2:

[Brag]

Bernard's history can be found in the BALZ files of this forum

[GoldenRivet]

Shall we warn him about Dinsdale? (sp?)

[RoaldLarsen]

Don't believe what these jokers are telling you. They are just playing a trick on a noob. (Welcome aboard, by the way.)

Bernard is named for a real figure, Stabsoberbootsman Reinhold Bernard, the only Petty Officer to be awarded the Knights Cross with Oak Leaves and Swords.

Bernard has been programmed into the game. If you know the correct undocumented keyboard command, you can have Bernard assigned to your boat's crew. This will give them abilities to perform in ways they would otherwise not be able.

Veteran forum members find it useful to have such a feature to enable their unique accomplishments, and don't want to share too many of the actual details with every newcomer, so I am not going to tell you anything more. If you read the forum regularly, you might be able to pick up a few clues.

The real Bernard was a big guy, had a light brown beard with streaks of white, always brought a small cask of brandy on every patrol, and when ashore, often smelled like cheap Chenin Blanc wine (for obvious reasons).

[Damo]

Bernard has been programmed into the game. If you know the correct undocumented keyboard command, you can have Bernard assigned to your boat's crew. This will give them abilities to perform in ways they would otherwise not be able.

Be careful with this though, once you find the key combo, be very careful to use Shift and NOT Cntrl. If you use Cntrl you get flying pigs instead of seagulls, and this is not a on/off thing, it's permanent and requires a reinstall to reset back to the default wildlife. Trust me, been there done that, it's funny at first but then they kinda spoil the immersion factor. :nope:

[RoaldLarsen]

Be careful with this though, once you find the key combo, be very careful to use Shift and NOT Cntrl. If you use Cntrl you get flying pigs instead of seagulls, and this is not a on/off thing, it's permanent and requires a reinstall to reset back to the default wildlife. Trust me, been there done that, it's funny at first but then they kinda spoil the immersion factor. :nope:

Flying pigs?!? I thought those were Sunderlands!

[Undefined]

I feel lost :D

[RConch]

I am glad you asked that.
I started here before 2002, been gone for awhile, returned and did wonder who in the heck this Bernard guy was.
Sadly nearly all my old veterans from my early time are gone now.:wah:
Where and what happened to the beloved Sharky and her fabulous collection of red shoes?:hmmm:
I used to post each day the "U boat Question of the day", kind of corny, but it was fun.

[sharkbit]

Welcome aboard!:salute:
Probably one of the most asked questions on this forum. I believe I even asked it.
Type "bernard" in the search function and I'll bet you get a whole bunch of threads.

I've had a couple of Bernards on my boats. He's launched torpedoes at an empty ocean, ran into the dock at Wilhelmshaven :oops:, didn't put the rudder full over during a pretty tense attack when ordered, hit the engine telegraph to "Flank" when trying to creep away from a destroyer :o, hit the engine telegraph to "Flank" during a stelthy approach to an escorted ship(lucky to escape from that incident), etc.

:)

[Hitman]

I am glad you asked that.
I started here before 2002, been gone for awhile, returned and did wonder who in the heck this Bernard guy was.
Sadly nearly all my old veterans from my early time are gone now.:wah:
Where and what happened to the beloved Sharky and her fabulous collection of red shoes?:hmmm:
I used to post each day the "U boat Question of the day", kind of corny, but it was fun. Hey Rconch :salute:

long not seen you, glad you are back :DL, it's always so nice to see the old hands around ... :up: there's still some us here!

Sharky sometimes posts in the WPL forum which is in this same page now, and she is also in Facebook. Jester107th, Steed, and a lot of the old guard are also still lurking around there.

[Weiss Pinguin]

Ah, good old Bernard... I trust him with all my targeting solutions :up:

http://www.tvland.com/photogallery/photos/Barney-Fife.jpg

:D

[Sailor Steve]

I wonder if they will update him (downdate or downgrade him, since improving bernard just makes him do what he does even better:dead:) in SHV?:hmmm:
Elanaiba & Company were so taken with him that the default kaleun's name in SH4 U-Boat Missions is Bernard von Umfal.

[Rhodes]

Elanaiba & Company were so taken with him that the default kaleun's name in SH4 U-Boat Missions is Bernard von Umfal.

:haha:

:hmmm:Thinking of asking the same question (from my post) in SHV forum...:hmm2:

[Rhodes]

Ah, good old Bernard... I trust him with all my targeting solutions :up:

http://www.tvland.com/photogallery/photos/Barney-Fife.jpg

:D

No, that's Dinsdale!

[Hitman]

Elanaiba & Company were so taken with him that the default kaleun's name in SH4 U-Boat Missions is Bernard von Umfal

LOL, very true :haha:

For those that do not understand german, "Unfall" (Not Umfal, Steve sorry you wrote it wrong out of memory) means "accident" or "crash", f.e. "Autounfall" is the name for a car (traffic) accident :har:

[RConch]

Thanks for the info Hitman and glad some of the old guard is still here.:salute:
I intend to stay around now that my computer is upgraded and running this wonderful, amazing GWX 3.0.
The folks here now are a very creative lot!:D
Very happy to have returned to my first passion in gaming.

[Sailor Steve]

Steve sorry you wrote it wrong out of memory
To paraphrase Fiddler On The Roof once again, my memory isn't what it once was. In fact my memory never was what it once was.

[Betonov]

Maybe we should start a ''real life Bernard'' thread, where we post our experinces with our little less gifted but oh so more special friends or (most likely) former friends. Of course privacy will be ashured as they will be only named by an allias: Bernard from (country of origin)

God knows I know two Bernards from Slovenia that if I wrote a book about them I could rival Brag

[Weiss Pinguin]

lol, I honestly don't have a Bernard for a friend, but I'm sure all of my friends could write 3 or 4 or 10 Bernard stories about a certain someone they know... :rotfl2:

[Patkins1983]

I work with too many bernards. I suppose its my job as a lab rat to pick up the pieces when they have a 'bernard' moment.

[frau kaleun]

I worked with a Bernard once, or should I say a Bernardette? One of the highlights of her tenure at our establishment was when she put a foil-wrapped sandwich in the microwave to warm it up.

Oh, it warmed up all right. It warmed up real good. And while everybody else in the lounge was rushing around trying to deal with it, she stood there in amazement, wondering aloud to anyone who would listen, "oh, did I do that?"

Although my personal favorite was when she buzzed my desk to ask me about some of the items on the menu of the place where we were getting lunch from that day. (And I'm telling you, just watching her try to make sense of an ordinary takeout lunch menu was a whole morning's worth of entertainment.) Apparently she was interested in a soup I used to get all the time and somebody told her to ask me about it. Her only question went as follows:

"This cream of chicken and wild rice soup you like...is that a creamy soup?"

Why, no, it's not. They just call it "cream of chicken" to throw people off.

The best part was she was on speakerphone and my office-mate nearly died trying not to bust out laughing while I tried to answer as diplomatically as possible.

We still use the phrase "is that a creamy soup" as secret code for "you're an idiot."

Okay, maybe you had to be there... but even now this person's real name is, in our office, the equivalent of "Bernard" in these forums.

[Betonov]

A Bernard I know managed to hit a house straight on with his car, going about 5 km/h (3mph), the same day he knocked over my neighbours trashcan while backing up from my yard, with the same car. Imagine this guy in a submarine

[Sailor Steve]

I don't want to imagine that guy in a car!:nope:

[Weiss Pinguin]

I don't want to imagine that guy on his feet :smug:

[Rhodes]

Every one here must had some experience with some "bernard" during one life time! I can remember one or two and I am not so old.
One comes to mind, during his first day in an archeaologic dig of an dolmen, he manages to destroy the corridor of the dolmen... He decided to pick up that stones and throw it way.... The look of the archeaologist when she finded out...
To good in just in the bones department...

[Sailor Steve]

As was said earlier, we use Bernard as an excuse for our own failings in the game. And every one of us has certainly had our own 'Bernard moments'...:dead:

[johan_d]

Euh, we Dutch had an Bernard as prince, and look now to our ****ty country!