Brag
11-04-09, 10:58 AM
Two hours after sunset, armed with the saber he had taken from the dead Omani Scout, a revolver on his belt and rifle across his back, Balz headed for Arthur’s Camel Lot, where he had agreed to meet Haji Baba Jimbuna.
No one was out in the dark streets of Sur except for a jackal scavenging on a garbage pile. The jackal saw Balz and scurried off.
In the camel lot, camels bellowed in protest as Jimbuna’s policemen saddled them.
“Are you sure you still want to go?” Jimbuna asked.
“Of course.”
Jimbuna sighed. “Insh Allah we’ll make it.”
Balz looked around. “Where is the magic carpet?”
“It’s right under your camel’s saddle so that your fat arse doesn’t hurt his back.
“Tu,” A camel handler commanded Balz’s camel to kneel.
Balz mounted. The camel jerked himself upright and tossed Balz on the ground.
“Let’s try again,” Jimbuna said.
On the next try, Balz stayed mounted.
Jimbuna and four armed escorts mounted and the little caravan got underway. Balz’s camel rocked from side to side as it walked. By the stars, Balz could tell they were headed northwest. “How far is Wadi Bani Khalid?” He asked.
“Forty three kilometers as the camel walks.”
Once they were out of town, the camels broke into a trot on the sandy coastal plain. The rocking motion of the camel was like being in cross-seas in a small dinghy. In the starlight, Balz could see that camels, unlike horses who have four beat gaits, moved both legs of one side together. It was difficult for him to stay on the saddle. In an hour they reached the dark shadows of the mountains. Balz was relieved when the camels slowed to a walk as they entered a gravelly river Bed. A light, cool zephyr descended from the mountains. In places, the camels jumped from side to side to avoid large rocks. They climbed for several hours and the sky, free of the coastal haze. became brighter.
Two hours before dawn they stopped in a deep gorge where some scattered scrub grew. The escorts gathered a few twigs and started a small fire. Haji Jimbuna made a dough, slapped the unleavened bread into shape and stuck it under the embers. “We’ll wait ‘til daylight so that the villagers don’t think we’re bandits,” he said as he dug the fresh bread out. “We then go to the holy wise man’s cave and he’ll explain the Seven Pillars of Wisdom to you.”
“How far to the village?”
“Just over the mountain.”
One of the escorts poured coffee into small cups.
“Coffee,” Jimbuna said, “Must be a dark as a desert night, as hot a the desert sun and as sweet as a woman’s lips.”
“Is that part of the seven pillars of wisdom?”
“HA, we are on a fools errand. You will never understand the seven pillars of wisdom, but I like to bathe in the pools of Wadi Bani Khalid and eat fresh dates. If we make it back alive, you will remember this trip—that’s my wisdom.”
First light revealed a panorama of steep pink, naked mountains and sheer cliffs. The camels trudged up a narrow path carved out by caravans thousands of years ago.
A twist around a rock and a stunning view opened in front of Balz. A deep gorge with vertical cliffs painted gold by the raising sun held a green valley and--Water!
From a labyrinth of rocks poured a small stream and formed a lake. “Incredible,” Balz said,
“Magic,” BabaJimbuna added. “Now you know what magic carpets are for.
The wise man lives in a cave here. I bring dry fish and salt and trade it for dates.” The merchant led the way down a steep path until they reached an aqueduct shaded by tall palms.
They rode past a group of smiling villagers and then entered a narrow rock passage barely wide enough for a camel to pass. Reaching a courtyard-like open space, the camels knelt. Balz followed Babajimbuna up another passage.
“Holy man,” Jimbuna shouted. “I brought you a visitor from the sea.”
“If he comes in peace, he is welcome,” a voice answered from above.
After a short climb, they entered a cave where an old man sat.
Jimbuna explained that Balz wanted to learn the seven pillars of wisdom. The old man invited them to sit.
“The seven pillars of wisdom?” the holy man asked.
“Yes.” Balz sat and made himself comfortable.
“Islam is based on them, how many years are you willing to spend learning them?”
“Years?“
“Yes, years.”
“Can I have the short version?”
The old man sighed, “All right.”
“Wisdom number one. You must learn to be humble.”
Balz lowered his head. “I am humble, I am the humblest humbler in all humbledom.”
The holy man nodded. “Wisom number two. You must be mournful, hate evil, sigh and cry for the abominations in the land.”
“I am an antiabominationalist. The biggest antiabominationalist you have ever seen.”
The holy man pointed at Balz and asked Jimbuna. “Where did you find him?”
“A bird brought him. He is German.”
“Ah, long live the Keiser.”
“The Keiser is gone now,” Balz said.
“Pity, Arabs liked the Kaiser.”
“Wisdom number three. You must be meek, mild in disposition, subtle, wise as serpents, harmless as doves. Is this you?”
“It’s me.” Balz pointed at himself. “I am mildness itself. I am sure you appreciate my subtleness. Real wiggly and serpent-like. Coo-coo dove-like, makes me real lovable.”
The holy man looked up and closed his eyes. “To conform to the pillar of widom number four, you must be a seekerof righteousness. Obeying the law because it is good and our Father said so.”
Balz raised his arms. “You are talking about me. I seek, look for, search for righteousness every minute of the day and find it within myself all the time.”
“Wisdom number five requires you to be merciful, compassionate, sympathetic, and empathic.”
“I am famous for being merciful, super compassionate. People know I’m emphatic”
“Wisdom number six is being free of corruption.”
Balz jumped on his feet. “I am totally free of corruption.”
“Sit down!” The holy man said.
Balz sat down
“The last and most important pillar is being a peacemaker. Are you a Peacemaker?”
“Sure, I’ll fight anyone to make peace.” Balz turned to Jimbuna. “See, I am a great seven pillar wisdomer.”
Jimbuna nodded.
The holy man cleared his throat. “Did you know that mathematics were invented in Arabia?”
“Yes,” Balz answered.
“We also invented the number zero. That is how many times you are allowed to claim to know the seven pillars of wisdom. If you do, you will be cursed seven times seven.”
“Oh, oh.” Balz shifted in his seat. “Can I practice the seven pillars in Japanese?”
http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/9053/dancewithpiratevi9.gif
Next week: B&B, Balz Meets Bernard
No one was out in the dark streets of Sur except for a jackal scavenging on a garbage pile. The jackal saw Balz and scurried off.
In the camel lot, camels bellowed in protest as Jimbuna’s policemen saddled them.
“Are you sure you still want to go?” Jimbuna asked.
“Of course.”
Jimbuna sighed. “Insh Allah we’ll make it.”
Balz looked around. “Where is the magic carpet?”
“It’s right under your camel’s saddle so that your fat arse doesn’t hurt his back.
“Tu,” A camel handler commanded Balz’s camel to kneel.
Balz mounted. The camel jerked himself upright and tossed Balz on the ground.
“Let’s try again,” Jimbuna said.
On the next try, Balz stayed mounted.
Jimbuna and four armed escorts mounted and the little caravan got underway. Balz’s camel rocked from side to side as it walked. By the stars, Balz could tell they were headed northwest. “How far is Wadi Bani Khalid?” He asked.
“Forty three kilometers as the camel walks.”
Once they were out of town, the camels broke into a trot on the sandy coastal plain. The rocking motion of the camel was like being in cross-seas in a small dinghy. In the starlight, Balz could see that camels, unlike horses who have four beat gaits, moved both legs of one side together. It was difficult for him to stay on the saddle. In an hour they reached the dark shadows of the mountains. Balz was relieved when the camels slowed to a walk as they entered a gravelly river Bed. A light, cool zephyr descended from the mountains. In places, the camels jumped from side to side to avoid large rocks. They climbed for several hours and the sky, free of the coastal haze. became brighter.
Two hours before dawn they stopped in a deep gorge where some scattered scrub grew. The escorts gathered a few twigs and started a small fire. Haji Jimbuna made a dough, slapped the unleavened bread into shape and stuck it under the embers. “We’ll wait ‘til daylight so that the villagers don’t think we’re bandits,” he said as he dug the fresh bread out. “We then go to the holy wise man’s cave and he’ll explain the Seven Pillars of Wisdom to you.”
“How far to the village?”
“Just over the mountain.”
One of the escorts poured coffee into small cups.
“Coffee,” Jimbuna said, “Must be a dark as a desert night, as hot a the desert sun and as sweet as a woman’s lips.”
“Is that part of the seven pillars of wisdom?”
“HA, we are on a fools errand. You will never understand the seven pillars of wisdom, but I like to bathe in the pools of Wadi Bani Khalid and eat fresh dates. If we make it back alive, you will remember this trip—that’s my wisdom.”
First light revealed a panorama of steep pink, naked mountains and sheer cliffs. The camels trudged up a narrow path carved out by caravans thousands of years ago.
A twist around a rock and a stunning view opened in front of Balz. A deep gorge with vertical cliffs painted gold by the raising sun held a green valley and--Water!
From a labyrinth of rocks poured a small stream and formed a lake. “Incredible,” Balz said,
“Magic,” BabaJimbuna added. “Now you know what magic carpets are for.
The wise man lives in a cave here. I bring dry fish and salt and trade it for dates.” The merchant led the way down a steep path until they reached an aqueduct shaded by tall palms.
They rode past a group of smiling villagers and then entered a narrow rock passage barely wide enough for a camel to pass. Reaching a courtyard-like open space, the camels knelt. Balz followed Babajimbuna up another passage.
“Holy man,” Jimbuna shouted. “I brought you a visitor from the sea.”
“If he comes in peace, he is welcome,” a voice answered from above.
After a short climb, they entered a cave where an old man sat.
Jimbuna explained that Balz wanted to learn the seven pillars of wisdom. The old man invited them to sit.
“The seven pillars of wisdom?” the holy man asked.
“Yes.” Balz sat and made himself comfortable.
“Islam is based on them, how many years are you willing to spend learning them?”
“Years?“
“Yes, years.”
“Can I have the short version?”
The old man sighed, “All right.”
“Wisdom number one. You must learn to be humble.”
Balz lowered his head. “I am humble, I am the humblest humbler in all humbledom.”
The holy man nodded. “Wisom number two. You must be mournful, hate evil, sigh and cry for the abominations in the land.”
“I am an antiabominationalist. The biggest antiabominationalist you have ever seen.”
The holy man pointed at Balz and asked Jimbuna. “Where did you find him?”
“A bird brought him. He is German.”
“Ah, long live the Keiser.”
“The Keiser is gone now,” Balz said.
“Pity, Arabs liked the Kaiser.”
“Wisdom number three. You must be meek, mild in disposition, subtle, wise as serpents, harmless as doves. Is this you?”
“It’s me.” Balz pointed at himself. “I am mildness itself. I am sure you appreciate my subtleness. Real wiggly and serpent-like. Coo-coo dove-like, makes me real lovable.”
The holy man looked up and closed his eyes. “To conform to the pillar of widom number four, you must be a seekerof righteousness. Obeying the law because it is good and our Father said so.”
Balz raised his arms. “You are talking about me. I seek, look for, search for righteousness every minute of the day and find it within myself all the time.”
“Wisdom number five requires you to be merciful, compassionate, sympathetic, and empathic.”
“I am famous for being merciful, super compassionate. People know I’m emphatic”
“Wisdom number six is being free of corruption.”
Balz jumped on his feet. “I am totally free of corruption.”
“Sit down!” The holy man said.
Balz sat down
“The last and most important pillar is being a peacemaker. Are you a Peacemaker?”
“Sure, I’ll fight anyone to make peace.” Balz turned to Jimbuna. “See, I am a great seven pillar wisdomer.”
Jimbuna nodded.
The holy man cleared his throat. “Did you know that mathematics were invented in Arabia?”
“Yes,” Balz answered.
“We also invented the number zero. That is how many times you are allowed to claim to know the seven pillars of wisdom. If you do, you will be cursed seven times seven.”
“Oh, oh.” Balz shifted in his seat. “Can I practice the seven pillars in Japanese?”
http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/9053/dancewithpiratevi9.gif
Next week: B&B, Balz Meets Bernard