Subsim Fantasy Football Reports

[Gut Wrench]

Two weeks ago I'd been lying in wake in the depth of the Atlantic, embedded with the Kreigsmarine during what they called "the happy times". A codded message had come through and I'd been left behind at a milchcow, to be picked up by army transport. For a week I criss crossed oceans and frontlines, slowly making my way to the America seaboard, and then, inland to Las Vegas.

The assignment: cover a new outbreak of the submarine war. I had to check my atlas first, but sure enough, my informants were correct, the Nevada desert was about to erupt, before it would spread across the nation and international borders, to become an intense 16 week fight for some, while others would have to slog it out until late January.

The Subsimmers were coming, and had moved into the fantasy football league.

Commissioner McBee had bought out the Las Vegas MGM Grand for the draft, and spared no expense at accommodating the new arrivals. There was some concern that the valets may not be able to park the Type VII's, but Donald Trump was able to secure nearby parking at no cost to the League.
http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MGM.jpg


I arrived the night before, and the League saw to it that all the media were treated like kings. Roman Kings, the girls from Ceasers more then happy to join a few of the celebrities in a late night toga party. In the morning though, it was all business, as the 16 team owners arrived, with their accompanying entourage, staked their place at reserved tables, an open bar tab, and the draft being carried live on Subsim TV.

In true dynamic fashion, the opening was resplendent, including a fly over by the Thunderbirds. The indoor pyrotechnic show went off, and from the showering flames, emerged the Commissioner to a standing ovation.

A mix up in press credentials had me sitting beside Pat Summerall and John Madden, doing the special broadcast for SubSim TV. The opportunity was too great to resist, and when I asked John, he said "the bus was late getting in, but there was no way I would miss this draft." Later in the broadcast, he began drawing circles on the TV, so they cut to a commercial.

Behind the owners at their tables, sat the many former, current, and upcoming stars of the NFL. Even the prison team had their own table, with everyone in a three piece orange suite, with Michael Vick honorary Captain of the team that included Plexico Burress.

After the formalities, the Commissioner moved aside and retired to his table complete with the finalists from Miss Boston Terrier. And suddenly, we were down to business.

There were no surprises with the first few drafts, the purple Jesus Adrian Peterson, Maurice Two Dads, and Larry Fitzgerald going early. LT was drafted by one of the international teams, but otherwise, the opening round went by the numbers.

The second round was a mixed bag, with WR and RB being traded among the first QB pick of Drew Brees. Following the obligatory "Go Daddy" wet tshirt competition, it was late in round 4 before the surprises begun. The value of a TE rose to match QB status, and from the second level of the car park, you could hear the howls of glee as the Detroit Lions defensive team were picked. (Their table had been moved out there to make way for extra vacant space on the draft floor.)

Strategists and owners conversed as each player was selected, amid the occasional "Oh crap" and "Damm, I was just going to pick him." Surprisingly, one owner even quiped that there was no way he would draft anyone from Satan's Team, not two minutes before selecting a Cowboy.

Jason Elam was the first kicker selected, as the bench players started to saddle up, collecting their new uniforms, and be paraded for photographers. Not many left the draft early, and some of the players stayed on afterward in attempts to increase their value.

At the end of the day, the largest SubSim League Draft ever was over, and the owners returned to their respective rooms, accompanied by Hooters, Go Daddy and other "wannabe seen with you" girls entourage, to plot out, the forthcoming 16 week war.

For the SubSim network, Gut Wrench, Las Vegas, Nevada.

[FIREWALL]

:salute:

[Gut Wrench]

The pre season frilly dates are over, and it's down to business. The real games are about to begin.

But hold the phone, let's not assume that the "silly season" is restricted just to the month of December. Owner of the "The Ded Poets" was slow awakening this morning to the news that on both sides of the line of scrimmage, he's lost two keys members of his team. Back Up QB for the Poets - Jeff Garcia, in perhaps the ultimate symbol of "career over" has been cut by his feeder team, the Raiders. A little further south his defence may also be in trouble, this time with the law as Shaun Merriman is arrested overnight in a domestic dispute.

The arrest of Merriman adds substance to next week's Match of the Day, when last years Subsim Bowl winner, the Dragons host the Ded Poets.

[Chad]

:har:

Well done Gut Wrench. I was in the chatroom, as the Green Beans are going all the way this year :)

[Gut Wrench]

COMMISIONER McBEE END PLAYERS STRIKE.
"I don't care who they are, get out there and play football."


Commissioner McBee has put his beer down and forced the last three "hold outs" of the Subsim League to "surface" and put their players forward for the first round of the year.

At a televised conference, Commissioner McBee (surrounded by a bevy of Miss Universe contestants who didn't make the final round) delivered an awe inspiring speach.

"I don't care who they are" he shouted in the microphone, slamming his beer down but not spilling a drop. "Get out there and play football."

The Commissioners' action brings all four divisions of the Subsim League into focus, and betting at the Subsim Gaming Lounge reflected this.

Pit Boss Cowboy Neal reported that a lot of money has been placed on the Dragons to win the Old Schooners Division, and to take the Title. The Surface Skimmers Division looks to be a two horse race between the Mudville 9 and the Helmand Nighthawks pending injuries. Most of the money has been wagered in the Norris Division, where all four franchises are heavily backed. The Sub Simmers Division hasn't seen a lot of money, most punters waiting to see how the foreign based teams tackle the arduous traveling schedule.

With all 16 teams now finalized for Week One, Subsim Scheduling sees the Match of the Day to be Show Me Your TD's, lead by Ben "You'll Not Get My Apology" Roethlisburger at home to the Miners, with starting QB Tony "Who's Jessica" Romo.

[mr chris]

Great stuff Gut Wrench:haha:

I wonder if the Commissioner can get the legend that is Chuck to present the trophy to the winner of the Norris division at the end of the season.

[Gut Wrench]

SHOOT OUT IN WEEK ONE.
"Who invited these guys" snarls 0-1 owner.


It took five days, a shoot out in both Massachusetts and Oakland, but finally, we have a better picture after Week One of just how cruel the draft can be.

The defending Subsim Torpedo Bowl Champions, the Dragons, with QB Phillip Rivers and WR Larry Fitzgerald, failed to live up to their first and second round draft picks, falling short in their first game.

Owner RickC was heard to say "It's week one and you're crazy if you think we're out of it already" he mused, pushing aside the paparazzi upon leaving the Monday Night game.

It was big scores across the league with the high scoring games of the Mudville Nine at the BP Badasses combining for over 201 points.

The week was not without it's surprises however. In the significantly stronger Norris Division, all the local teams sustained a loss, handing the Dead Poets, the division lead. The Dead Poets are one of three international teams, the other teams of Helmand Nighthawks and the Australian Taipans also scoring wins in week one. All three international teams host their first home game next week.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

In week one, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present, for his performance of 6 passing touchdowns and 358 passing yards, QB Drew Brees of the Green Beans, the Week One MVT.


http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg
http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/%5BIMG%5Dhttp://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg%5B/IMG%5D

[Gut Wrench]

100 POINTS SHOULD GET A WIN.
...except in week two.


"In any given week, if your team can score 100 points, you should get a win," Coach AraMike was heard to say. "But not today."

Both Every Given Sunday and the Miners were outscored over the 100 point mark, the Miners falling to the Cyprus based Nighthawks, who become one of three internationally based teams to move to 2-0. In so doing, it sets up two top of the table contests, the Ded Poets against the Green Beans and the Nighthawks against the Australian Taipans, who blew out their opposition by 60 points.

But the Taipans' have been the fuse that brought about a schedule adjustment, when they discovered that their opposition wasn't ranked correctly. Commissioner McBee has acted and reshuffled some of the late season games, and in turn, given a dream run into the finals to the Surface Skimmers two horse race, the Nighthawks and the Mudville Nine.

Defending Torpedo Bowl Champions the Dragons earned their first win of the season, dropping the Wild Boston Terriers into a gaggle of four teams at 0-2 looking for their first win. When asked, all four owners had the same response.

"We're just getting started, there's plenty of time left."

Some owners were counting their wins a little early this week. The Sunday afternoon games weren't even into the second half before Coach Casey of the Mudville Nine was proclaiming a win. The Canadian based Dead Poets would have none of it, and with three minutes remaining in the Monday Night game, the Mudville team finally fell to the Dead Poets.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

In week two, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present, for his performance of scoring 27 points and lifting them to their first win, WR Steve Smith of the Huge Manatee, the Week Two MVT.


http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

[Gut Wrench]

THEN THERE WERE TWO.
...accompanied with lots of cliche's.


The big match up between the top four teams has not lived up to the expected hype, with both games being virtually one sided affairs. The only surprise of the a meeting between the top 4 is that the two winners....are both from overseas.

The Canadian Ded Poets accounted for the number one ranked Green Beanz by setting a new blow out points scoring record, completely dominating their opposition 123.13 - 54.54.

From their Kansas City base, Coach Chad responded to the loss.
"Naturally, we like to bank on wins at home, but in fairness, they came in and just played better football then us."

In Cyprus, Coach Pioneer of the Australian Taipans spoke to the media after their 109.99 - 77.77 loss.

"We have been decimated by injuries this week, but we just need to get back to basics. We didn't score on TD inside the Red Zone, and we can't pass up those opportunities."

The win lifts the Helmand Nighthawks to 3-0 and cements them as the number one seed in the league. The schedule though does not have the Nighthawks playing the Ded Poets in the regular season. The twin defeat of both the Beans and Taipans shuffls the Sub Simmers division, with three teams tied at 2-1. There is a small amount of controversy after it was revealed that both the Beans and the Taipans have been incorrectly scored an additional 100 points against them.

In the first two weeks one team stood out as having the toughest schedule and narrowly missing on two wins. The Wild Boston Terriers showed they were in for the championship handing the Reapers some significant terrier snoring and gas.

"They really took it to us," Coach McBee said after the game. "We knew we were in a fight but we played hard, stayed with our gameplan, and grateful to come away with the win."

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

In week three, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present, for his performance of scoring 24 points, 269 yards passing, 38 yards rushing including a TD, and putting them back into competition of the Sub Simmers division, QB Aaron Rodgers of the Every Given Sunday, the Week Three MVT.


http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

[Gut Wrench]

DED POETS STAND ALONE.
Undefeated!


A third of the way through the Subsim Fantasy League race to the Torpedo Bowl and the Ded Poets have emerged as the only undefeated team, pummeling Phants Rage 134.26 - 27.43. In so doing, The Ded Poets set a new league blow out record, eclipsing the previous record set the week prior by the Poets.

"It's nice to be the best so far," their coach was heard to say. "But we're coming into the ugly schedule, just look at Mookie's avatar."

Phants Rage QB Dante Caulpepper was heard to say after the game "We were beaten worst then a Raiders Assistant Coach" as they slump to 0-4.

In a wild week of scoring where 72 points gave the Miners a win, 102 points was not enough for Helmans Nighthawks as they fell to the #13 ranked Collared Greenz by 16 points. Coach 1480 of the Greens was partying hard after the win, shouting "More beer, more beer", in anticipation of their match up next week with the Drunk Ground Hogs.

After starting the season with a loss, the former championship team Dragons have quietly stepped out to 3-1 in their division, but close behind them at 2-2 are the Miners. The Dragons and Miners meet each other (with the exception of a Wild Night in Bangkok) next week.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

In week four, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present, for the effort of 8 sacks, 1 interception, 1 fumble recovery, and 1 safety, the Viking defensive unit of the Mudville Nine, the Week Four MVT.


http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg


Edit: pressed publish instead of preview.....trying to meet deadline.

[Gut Wrench]

POETS FALL.
Spanked On Their Divisional Badass!


Week 5 in the Subsim Torpedo League and the #1 ranked team has fallen. Spanked by the #7 ranked BP Badasses 96.07/84,38 the Poets never even looked lyrical as they suffered their first defeat of the season.

"The bye was not our friend this week," their coach was heard to sob into his hard earned end of game beer. "But, we're still number one."

The Poets at 4-1 lead the intense Norris Division, one game ahead of their divisional rivals. The Wild Boston Terriers improved to 3-2 accounting for Phants Rage fifth consecutive loss of the season. The Basasses win over the Poets move them to 3-2 while the Collared Greenz upset loss to the Drunk Ground Hogs, drops them to 2-3.

In week five, a total of five games hung in the balance until the last quarter of the Monday Night. In fact, so close was one game, that Coach Pioneer threw a red flag 20000km to challenge a Braylon Edwards (Green Beans) touchdown, only to have his own Thomas Jones (Taipans) finish off the score. The Taipans finish the night 1 yard short of taking the division lead.

In a round of upsets, #13 team Show Me Your Td's plucked the #2 team, Helmand Nighthawks, when their defense failed to score a point, allowing the TD's to win 105.74/95.74 The win for Mookie closes up the Sub Simmers division into a three way tie.

Ever so quietly, in the Old Schooners Division, the defending Dragons have quietly improved to 4-1, leading the division and asserting themselves as a potential threat as the # 3 team in the league.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

In week five, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present, for the effort of 5 sacks, 1 fumble recovery, and 1 safety, and lifting them to their first win, the Panther defensive unit of the Drunk Ground Hogs, is the Week Five MVT.


http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

As a sidenote, you have no idea how hard it is to write a weekly fantasy report when the results of five games changed seven times in the last quarter of Monday Night Football.:salute:

[Chad]

Hey glad you do, keep up the good work :D

[mr chris]

Great Stuff. I always look forward to reading each weeks reports.:up:

[nikimcbee]

When your wide recievers have a total of >60 points combined, you can't go wrong.:woot:

[Gut Wrench]

WILD SIX.
Let the shoot outs begin.


Week 6 in the Subsim Torpedo League and high flying scores continue. Helmands Nighthawks 154, BP Badasses 141.44, and Green Beans 130.88. In a wild week of shoot outs across the leagues, the end results are not much clearer then they were a week ago. And the frustration is beginning to set in.

Coach Mookie of Show Me Your TD's; "I have 5 of 7 players in double digits, my defence scores 25 points in a 59-0 blowout, and I still loose." Coach Rick of the league leading 4-2 Dragons who lost to the number 11 team "That's part of the Doh factor in this game." And then we have Coach Pioneer of the Australian Taipans, who has listed his three wide receivers on Ebay for a minimum bid of $1.

Although expected to be a huge week, no body expected the major blow outs of the Giants - Saints, Patriots - Titans and the surprise upset of the Raiders - Eagles game.

In an exclusive interview, former all time great Coaches Bill Cowper, Jimmy Johnson and John Madden all reminded the league that on a wild weekend, there's little you can carry into the next week, irrespective of what elevated ratings might say. Bill Walsh naturally had little to say, but claimed he'd get back to us Halloween night.

The week of big scores though has had a significant impact on the strong Norris Division. The Poets having lead the division, now stand 4-2 and on the point of post season relegation to the consolation series, having sustained two divisional games losses. The Wild Boston Terriers having lost the first two games of the season, now lead the division 4-2 with 2 divisional game wins.

The Dragons, last years Torpedo Bowl winners, despite the loss have quietly opened up a one game lead in the Old Schoolers division on the Reapers and Miners who squabble at 3-3. The Surface Skimmers Division remains a two horse race between the Nighthawks and the Mudville Nine, with the Huge Manatee and Phant's Rage wrestling for first pick of the draft next year.

The Sub Skimmers Division is a wild affair, with all four teams tied at 3-3, and seperated by just 35 points in the fore/against. With a mixed bucket of divisional games played, it's impossible to pick a clear leader from the four.

The all knowing Neal Steven (who else would have picked the Raiders over the Eagles) has chaired a panel and at the end of Week 6, predicted the regular season divisional winners.

1. Dragons
2. Helmand Nighthawks.
3. Wild Boston Terriers.
4. Every Given Sunday.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

In week six, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present, for the effort of 300 yards, 2 passing TD's, 34 rushing yards and topping the league leading Dragons, QB Jay Cutler of the Collared Greenz is the Week Six MVT.


http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

[Gut Wrench]

HALFWAY TO A CHAMPIONSHIP.
The Field Thins Out.


Week 7 in the Subsim Torpedo League and as the field thins out, the chatting rises, and the smack talk begins.

"Your mother wears army boots?"
"Cause your father likes his women ugly."

Ugly was not the word to describe the fury of week seven games. The Huge Manatee, with no positional changes at all, earn their third win of the season with a total of 58 points against the Collared Greenz. At the other end, the Mudville Nine blow out Phant's Rage 113.86 - 55.75, relegating the Rage to first pick of the draft next year.

Let's not assume however, that with the field thinning out, that there was any less excitement. Going into the last game of the week, a mere .21 points separated the Dead Poets and the Reapers. The Dead Poets, early season favorite to go 13-1 against the inconsistent Reapers, had their hands full, trading the lead throughout the final game of the weekend. Eventually, the game came down to who was better, the arm of McNabb or the hands of Santana Moss. (Moss was eventually worth 4 points more.)

Once the final whistle had blown, the field of contenders was revealed, including, possibly one or two pretenders.

In the Old Schools Division, defending Torpedo Bowl Champions, the Dragons, have quietly stepped out to 5-2, a one game lead against the Miners at 4-3, who potentially could missing out on the post season with a rugged schedule.

In the tough Norris Division, the surprise loss by the Wild Boston Terriers hands a one game lead to the "where did they come from?" BP BadAsses team, who have put together a three game streak. However, the Ded Poets, after starting the season 3-0, find themselves a half game back and potentially needing to win all their remaining games, having already suffered two divisional losses.

The two horse race of the Surface Skimmers sees the Mudville Nine at 5-2, leading the Helman Nighthawks, who after being the #1 team at 3-0, fall to 4-3.

The lottery of the Sub Simmers division sees Every Given Sunday retain the lead, but, the Australian Taipans, defeated divisional rival Show Me Your TD's and moves up to be 2-0 against divisional rivals.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

In week seven, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present, for the effort of 311 passing yards, 31 rushing yards and 3 TD's, Tony Romo of Miners is the Week Seven MVT.


http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg


Sidenote: 27 game changes from the Monday Night Game made this a messy, excessive strike-through review.

[Onkel Neal]

This is getting good:D

[Gut Wrench]

HOW MANY UPSETS?
How the mighty have fallen.


Week 8 in the Subsim Torpedo League and as we all know, on any weekend, no matter how heavily favored your team is, they will get beaten. And it didn't just happen once, but three times this week.

There was no Sunday Night game this week, Commissioner McBee getting kicked out of Philadelphia by some young punks visiting from the Bronx. With a realigned day schedule, the fall of the mighty teams begun.

Game one, the Australian Taipans, heavy favorites by more then 20 points to take Every Given Sunday, ended up getting their tails whipped by more then 40 points.

Game two, the defending champions Dragons favored by 25 points, loose to Show Me Your TD's by 12 points.

Game three, the Mudville Nine expected to clobber the Wild Boston Terriers, fought a tight tussle through Monday night, to end up losing by 14 points.

Only the Dead Poets expected to win by 50 points against the Collared Greenz, had to suffer a late game surge, to finally put the Greenz away by a mere 10 points.

The juggled scores, it has been suggested, arose from the multitude of transactions that occurred during the week. While the usual drop and add went on Tuesday, it was later in the week that the big numbers showed up. On the day prior to the first game, no fewer then 30 players traded positions, while in the early hours of Sunday, another 12 guys changed teams.

Week 8 also saw the first trade of the season. The Australian Taipans traded Darren Sproles to the Green Beans for Heinz Ward. It didn't help either team as they both suffered a loss. Ward was on a bye in week 8, and Sproles also had a bye against the Raiders.:D

The mixed results doesn't help clear the league standings. In the tough Norris Division, the Dead Poets are the league's #1 seed at 6-2, a half game ahead of the BP Badasses who somehow won their week 8 match by scoring a mere 63 points. The Wild Boston Terriers go to 5-3, and potentially, position 3 of the 4 divisional teams to appear in the post season.

In the two horse race of the Surface Skimmers, Helmans Nighthawks reclaim the divisional lead with 5-3 over the Mudville Nine. In the Old Schoolers Division, the Dragons at 5-3 hold a half game lead over the improving Miners also 5-3 but 1-1 in divisional games. Every Given Sunday leads the Sub Simmers Division at 5-3 by a clear one game.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

In week eight, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present, for the effort of 240 passing yards, 14 rushing yards and 3 TD's, Donovan McNabb of the Reapers is the Week Seven MVT.


http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

[nikimcbee]

Yahoo's scoring is on crack this week.:shifty: First, they don't have any stats for the Carolina game until the third quarter. Then when they were reversing calls, they rounded the score UP:o I'm glad my game was not any closer, or I would have been pissed if I lost and the margin of victory was <2 points, because I swear yahoo screwed me out of 2 points and in this game, it could have made a big difference, (until the red flag came out and they took the td away from atlanta):woot:

I do love the red flag though.:woot:

[Aramike]

I'm sorry, did someone say Every Given Sunday was the underdog? Okay, TECHNICALLY yes. But really, a 60 point swing? And a solid 10 point contribution from a FREE AGENT WR signed SUNDAY MORNING???

And TOP score in the LEAGUE for the week?

Just sayin', fellas... :cool:

[Gut Wrench]

HALF WAY HOME.
The Top Seeds Sprout a One Game Lead...and our first scoring win error.


Week 9 in the Subsim Torpedo League and finally, the cream of the crop, the pick of the bunch, the best of the best has finally risen to the top. Well, it has in at least three divisions...or it will by tomorrow morning. A scoring error has handed the Green beans a last second win over the Mudville Nine, however, it is expected that the league Commissioner will overturn it, giving the win to the Mudville Nine 109.18 - 107.40.

After a couple of mid season losses, the Canadian based Ded Poets have put together a three game streak to lead the significantly harder Norris Division at 7-2. They top the table by the barest of margins, squeaking home a 2.22 win over the continuing to impress Miners at 5-4. One game back at 6-3 the Wild Boston Terrier lead the BP Badasses with a 2-0 divisional game wins.

Defending Torpedo Bowl Champions the Dragons at 6-3 have scored 926 points, the second most of any team in the league. Red hot favorites the Dragons are already being picked as the final #2 seed, giving them the easier path into the finals. The Miners, Reapers and Drunk Ground Hogs all helped out the Dragons by sustaining loses through the week.

In the Sub Simmers, where potentially only the divisional winner will advance, the inter divisional tussle sees Every Given Sunday with a two game lead over both Show Me Your TD's and the Australian Taipans at 4-5. Both teams were in need of some points even before the Monday Night Game, Show Me Your TD's needing Big Ben to throw for 800 yards, and the Taipans needing Hines Ward to catch 6 TD's.

In week one the ASW Writers predicted that the Cyprus based Helmand Nighthawks would be the top Surface Skimmers seed, and now they are tied with the Mudville Nine at 6-3. However, the Nighthawks have outscored everybody with 944 points, but, the Mudville Nine are 2-0 in the division. The Nighthawks set themselves up for the top of the table game in week 10 when they play the Dragons.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

In week nine, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present, for the effort of one 50 yard field goal, one 40 - 49 yard field goal, one 30 - 39 yard field goal, and 2 extra points, kicker Jason Hanson helping the Phants Rage to their first win of the seasons, is the Week Nine MVT.


http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

[Chad]

What was the scoring error? I don't see anything wrong :D

I need a W bad, don't take it from me :O:

[Pioneer]

I hate to take a W away from anyone but looking at my own stat counter for that game, I see an error.

Steelers won the game 24-10. They had two sacks (1 each) 3 interceptions (2 each) 1 defensive TD (6) and by our leagues settings for 10 points scored against (7)

2+6+6+7 = 21

Stat counter has credited the Steelers only with 6 points scored against which would be 10 points, equaling 24.

This one's coming back, the Mudville Nine should get the W on a recount, but Thursday is a long time to wait for a decision. Having said that, Yahoo has still not accounted for a question I raised in week one.

And I still have an Australian championship I'm bitter about since 1982, cause some f*cker can't count either. (Another story for another time.)

[Gut Wrench]

Anomoly corrected, and my apologies to both teams involved.
From the Yahoo Scoring Standards...

The number of points allowed by a team defense in Yahoo! Sports Fantasy
Football will not always match the final score posted by their opponent
in their real-life game.

A team's defense is not responsible for those points allowed while
their team's offense is on the field. They are, however, responsible for all kickoff and punt return points allowed.

In Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Football, scoring for the Points Allowed
category in leagues using Team Defenses will include the following
situations:

- All TDs scored against the defense.

- All FGs scored by the opponent.

- All PATs (Extra Points and 2-PT conversions.)

- Special Teams Scoring (kickoff and punt returns for touchdowns, as
well as blocked punts returned for Touchdowns.)

- All other scoring categories chosen within the league.

Note: Points scored against the team's offensive unit (i.e.,
interception and fumble returns for TDs, FG blocks returned for
Touchdowns, and safeties) will NOT be counted in the Points Allowed
category.

Scoring in the Points Allowed category is standard in all leagues and
cannot be modified to include or exclude points of a certain type.

Therefor: the TD scored by the Broncos against the Steelers on the fumble, does not count against the Steelers.


The Green Beans win stands!

[RickC Sniper]

Thank you for clearing that up. If yahoo actually does dismiss defensive scores against your defense, it was a change made at some point. In the past, they just took the total points scored by the other team and that total counted as points your defense gave up.

I'm glad they made this change.

RickC
Dragons

[Gut Wrench]

WEEK 10 - AND QUESTIONS ARE RAISED.
Interference On The Way To The Bowl.


Week 10 in the Subsim Torpedo League and questions are being raised.

What were the Browns even doing on a Monday Night's telecast?
How does McNabb throw for 450 yards and still lose?
Why did Every Given Sunday win with just 61 points and the Dragons loose with 112?
Who's in, and who's out?

Thursday night and the early start to the weekend saw every vote cast for Show Me Your Td's - he was the only one who voted and he voted for himself. A big shootout brings the realization that Coach Mookie can beat the two best teams in the league, but no one in his own division. The win moves him to 5-5, two games back from divisional leaders Every Given Sunday at 7-3.

Sunday morning and Coach Pioneer of the Australian Taipans make an appearance on the Yahoo Fantasy Football Show, putting the question of starting LT or Moreno. The guru's said Moreno, but that didn't help his cause as he was whipped 103-69 by the Mudville Nine. The win keeps the Nine in touch with divisional leaders Nighthawks who needed the Ravens defense to cease being good in order to defeat the Dragons.

The Wild Boston Terrier extend their winning streak to 3 soundly defeating the Collarred Greenz 107 - 53. With the win by the BP Badasses over the Miners and the loss by the Dead Poets, a three way tie exists in the Norris Division, and the Dead Poets suddenly find themselves 1-2 in the division. After leading the league for so long, they are now looking at best for the wild-card race.

The Nighthawks and the Dragons are the first two teams to score 1000 points in the season, but scoring points doesn't win you the championship. The Associated Subsim Writers have put together their predictions as the teams head into the last four weeks, with only eight teams to advance.


PROBABLE SEEDING DIVISIONAL WINNERS
Team.....Record..... Remaining Opponents Records

Nighthawks...7-3.... 15-25
Dragons...... 6-4.... 19-21
Wild Terriers. 7-3.... 23-17
EG Sunday... 7-3.... 23-17

WILDCARD RACE
Team....... Record.... Remaining Opponents

Dead Poets... 7-3.... 15-25
BP Badasses. 7-3.... 20-20
Green Beans. 5-5.... 14-26 (Easiest)
Mudville Nine. 6-4.... 18-22
Miners.......... 5-5.... 19-21
Show MY TD's 5-5.... 21-19
Reapers........ 5-5.... 25-15


MATHEMATICAL MIRACLES NEEDED
Team............ Record..... Remaining Opponents

Collared Greenz.... 4-6.... 20-20
Australian Taipans 4-6.... 26-14 (hardest)

The Huge Manatee, Phants Rage and Drunk Ground Hogs are the only teams which have been mathematically eliminated.

However, all these ranking could change once the League Commissioner steps in. While researching, it's been ascertained that the Huge Manatee play the Drunk Ground Hogs in week 12 for a second time, but more importantly, Show Me Your TD's meet the Mudville Nine in week 14. In their previous encounter in week 4, The Mudville Nine beat the TD's 105 -55. It appears that the final weeks games need to be realigned so that Show Me Your TD's play either the Drunk Ground Hogs or the Collared Greenz, and the Mudville Nine play either the Miners or the Collarred Greenz.

The problems lies in that realignment forces another games to a ghost team match ups, Australian Taipans against Huge Manatee. Good luck working that out. The ASW are suggesting that in order to avoid the last week rematch the TD's should meet the Greenz and the Mudville Nine meet the Miners.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

In week ten, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present, for the effort of 131 rushing yards, 1 rushing TD, and 9 receptions for 45 yards, running back Steven Jackson of Show Me Your TD's, is the Week Ten MVT.


http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg[/quote]

[Gut Wrench]

EIGHT POINTS.
Makes All The Difference.


I usually start writing this column about the time that Faith Hill bounces into my bedroom and starts singing about how she's waiting all week for me. Somehow, it didn't matter how short she wore that black skirt, or how high she wore those booties, there was something more interesting in Week 11 of the Subsim Torpedo League.

Both the Raiders and Chiefs got a win? (Questions are already being asked as to how many nights on the Cavalla that little bribe cost Commander Neal.

But in the Torpedo League, where all the games matter no matter how bad some of the teams are (yes, I'm looking at you 1-10 Phants Rage) fingernails were chewed and other hot looking women were tossed aside as Coaches ground out the late games accompanied by the words "Not now, I'm 8 points behind."

Eight points doesn't sound like much but it was enough for Every Given Sunday to move ahead to 8-3 with the narrow win over Collared Greenz. The loss by the Greenz eliminates the team from the post season.

Eight points doesn't sound like much but two points is even less, for the Green Beans to leapfrog the Reapers and move to 6-5. At 6-5 the Beans have had the third most points scored against them, however, they sit in second place two games back of Every Given Sunday and still eligible to win the division.

You have to feel for Coach Mookie of Show Me Your TD's, going into the Monday Night game more then 40 points ahead of the BP Badasses, he could have done with an extra eight points. He was sunk with a 53 yard field goal with 47 seconds left in the game.

And how about that SubSimmers division, with the upset game of the week, the #12 ranked Australian Taipans dropped the #2 Wild Boston Terriers, forcing them a game back from divisional rivals, the Dead Poets.

In other games the #1 seed Helmand Nighthawks disposed of Phants Rage, and the Mudville Nine did likewise to the Drunk Ground Hogs.

The trade deadline for the league passed on Friday night, with only one trade being effected. Anquan Bolden of the Ded Poets was traded for LeSean McCoy of Show Me Your TD's late Wednesday.

And thus after a grueling four day spread of football, we head into the Thanksgiving Day week with the questions being asked. Who will get carved up Thursday? (Neal, I'm looking at your Raiders.) Who will be served up on a platter, and perhaps most importantly, who will be plucked for the season?

Let's go to the Subsim Torpedo Bowl ratings for Week 11.

The Nighthawks, Every Given Sunday and Dragons hold their place in the Championship Post Season. The loss by the Wild Boston terriers moves them a game behind the Dead Poets and the Badasses, but, they still hold a 3-0 record on the division. The Boston Terriers meet Show Me Your TD's, while the Poets are up against Every Given Sunday. The Poets have beaten the Basasses, and both teams look to be going to the post season, one in the Championship Round, the other to the Consolation Round.

PROBABLE SEEDING DIVISIONAL WINNERS
Team.....Record

Nighthawks...8-3
Dragons...... 7-4
Dead Poets.. 8-3
EG Sunday... 7-3

And here's where the mathematicians go crazy, trying to compute if it's plausible, before they consider is it attainable.

The BP Badasses lead the wildcard with a key matchup against the Reapers in week 12. The Wild Boston Terrier move to be a "chase dog" still with a chance to win the division. They line up against, Show Me Your TD's next week. However, at 0-3 within the division, Show Me Your TD's need the win to avoid being eliminated.


WILDCARD RACE
Team....... Record

BP Badasses...8-3
Wild Terriers...7-4
Mudville Nine..7-4
Green Beans.. 6-5
Reapers........ 5-6
Miners.......... 5-6
AU Taipans.... 5-6
Show MY TD's. 5-6

...and suddenly, there are three teams from the SubSimmer division and two from the Old Schoolers Division fighting it out for the #8 play off position.


WHAT ABOUT THE SCHEDULE COMMISSIONER?

No decision has yet been made by the Commissioner relating to the second meeting of the Mudville Nine and Show Me Your TD's. Without altering the schedule, once of those two coach's will miss out on the playoffs, and two more are in jeopardy.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

In week eleven, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present, for the effort of 384 passing yards and 3 passing TD's, Eli Manning of the Australian Taipans is the Week Eleven MVT.


http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

[Gut Wrench]

WEEK TWELVE - 2 DIVISIONS CLINCHED.
Wildcard Brawl Between 9 teams over 4 spots.


With just two weeks to go in the regular season of the Subsim League, the first two divisional titles have been clinched, but with some key results, the wildcard race for the 4 open positions in the Consolation Final, is being waged between nine other teams.

In the Surface Skimmers Division, Helmands Nighthawks 113-76 win over divisional rivals Mudville Nine has secured the divisional championship, and potentially, either the first or second seeding in the Championship Finals. Having already beaten two of the other three divisional leaders, only Every Given Sunday or the Dead Poets can knock the Nighthawks off. Every Given Sunday beat the Nighthawks in week 7, and the Nighthawks do not play the Ded Poets in the regular season.

The loss by the Mudville Nine drops them 2 games back, relegating them, at best, to the Consolation Finals. The Nine, having lost earlier in the season to the Green Beans, places them in the 8th and final playoff position. Even then their position is not secured as teams below them, have already beaten the Nine.

The Dragons are the second team to clinch, opening up a two game lead over the Miners in the Old Schoolers Division. At 3-0 within the division, the Dragons are only playing for their seeding in the Championship Round.

With 2 decided that leaves the other 2 divisions to be sorted out. In the Sub Simmers Division, which suddenly houses three teams with the hardest schedule in the league, the loss by Every Given Sunday against the Ded Poets drops them to 8-4, and keeps the division alive. The Green Beans, with the easiest schedule of all teams in the last two weeks, advance to 7-5 and sets up a two horse race for the divisional lead.

But if you want a three horse race throw a blanket over the BP Badasses, the Ded Poets and the Wild Boston Terriers in the Norris Division. At 9-3, only the BP Badasses have clinched a playoff position this week, but, they will have to wait at least another week to know if it's in the Championship or Consolation Finals. The Badasses have their last divisional game to play in week 12 against the Collared Greenz (4-7). A win against them will advance them to 2-1 in the division, but, a loss earlier in the season against the Wild Boston Terriers leaves all three teams still viable to win the division.

Which brings us to the entire line up of the wildcard chase. Fortuitous results in other games keep the 5-7 Reapers and the Australian Taipans still in with a chance, but, eliminates Show Me Your TD's with their 0-3 divisional record.

Let's go to the Subsim Torpedo Bowl rankings for Week 11.

The Nighthawks and Dragons advance to the Championship Finals. The BP Badasses lead their divisional and are assured a playoff position. Every Given Sunday lead their division, but, must wait on other results before advancing to either finals. They can still miss out on the playoffs. So the picture looks something like this:

CURRENT DIVISIONAL CHAMPIONS
Team.....Record

Nighthawks...9-3
Dragons...... 8-4

WILDCARD RACE
Team....... Record

BP Badasses...9-3 (Clinched playoff position)
Ded Poets......9-3
Every Given Sunday 8-4
Wild Terriers...8-4
Green Beans...7-5
Mudville Nine..7-5
Miners...........6-6
Reapers........ 5-7
AU Taipans.... 5-7

Nine teams, two to advance to the Championship Finals, the rest to brawl over the last spots in the Consolation Final.

Show Me Your TD's joins the Collared Greenz, Huge Manatee, Drunk Ground Hogs and Phants Rage as eliminated from the playoffs.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

In week twelve, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present, for the effort of 317 passing yards, 2 passing TD's plus an extra 4 yards rushing, Phillip Rivers of the Dragons is the Week Twelve MVT.


http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

[Gut Wrench]

The Week 13 Subsim league Torpedo Bowl report for this week will be late by about 14 hours after the conclusion of the final game.

Apparently the Raiders are booked on the same flight...and we had to make an emergency landing in Sugarland to replenish the strippers.

[Gut Wrench]

ONE WEEK TO GO.
Still undecided - 1 division and wildcards.


After a flight delay in which I saw more women celebrating with the Raiders then there are mistresses still hiding in Tiger Woods closet, we're arrive at the end of week thirteen and still the play off picture remains undecided. But let's start with who is going into the Post Season.

In the Surface Skimmers Division, Helmands Nighthawks having already clinched a placed in the Championship Bowl, had a scare when the Drunk Ground Hogs had a season high score before eventually being put to bed 100-78. The win by the Cyprus based Nighthawks doesn't clarify their seeding, as they must still meet the Wild Boston Terriers in the final week, who have their own dilemma's to overcome.

The Dragons, having also clinched a Championship berth, were also given a scare by the 3-10 Huge Manatee who leading into the Monday Night game looked like causing the upset of the season. The win by the Dragons still doesn't clarify their seeding as they are dependent on other games.

In the Sub Simmers division, Every Given Sunday, beaten by the Wild Boston Terriers 95-55, secured the Divisional Title with key losses around the league. By taking the division, they secure themselves the #4 seeding in the Championship Series, possible against the Nighthawks. In week 7 of the Subsim league, Every Given Sunday beat the Nighthawks 108-83.

The only division winner not yet confirmed is the Norris Division, with three teams still wrestling to take control. The BP Badasses 10-3 lead the division after defeating the Collared Greenz 92-81, and were already assured a play off berth last week. The Badasses play the Dragons in the final week, and a win will given them the divisional title.

The early season favorites, the Canadian based Ded Poets, became the fourth team this season to put up career high scoring numbers against the Australian Taipans. Losses earlier in the season to both the Wild Boston terriers and the BP Badasses relegate the Poets to the Consolation series.

The Wild Boston Terriers have their divisional hopes resting on the result of two games in the final week. The Terriers play the Nighthawks and need the win to finish 10-4, plus, a Badasses loss to the Dragons to take the title. The Wild Boston Terriers enter the final week 3-0 in the division needing help to take the title. All three teams are headed to the post season, but two of them will be seeing each other in the Consolation Series.

Not enough intrigue for you, then have a look at the wildcard race. Two of the three teams in the Norris Division will take the first two wildcard spots, leaving two undecided spots. Three teams at 7-6, the Green Beans, Mudville Nine and the Miners all have playoff aspirations, but they're all looking behind them at the 6-7 Reapers, who with wins earlier in the season against them, look like playing the spoiler.

The Green Beans has the easiest week game against the Huge Manatee, but, they have struggled to get home against the weaker teams. The Miners play the Australian Taipans, but must rely on other games as they have not played the Mudville Nine in the regular season. The Mudville Nine in their loss against the Reapers 137-86, place them in danger of missing the playoffs having already loss to the Green Beans.

So after twelve weeks of arguing, scraping and missed chances, the playoff picture with one week to go looks something like this


DIVISIONAL CHAMPIONS
Team.....Record

Nighthawks...10-3 (Playing for home field advantage)
Dragons...... 9-4 (Playing for #2 or #3 seeding)
Every Given Sunday (#4 seed)

WILDCARD RACE
Team....... Record

BP Badasses...10-3 (Playing for Divisional Championship)
Ded Poets.......10-3 (Secured wildcard position)
Wild Terriers....9-4 (Playing for Divisional Championship)
Miners...........7-6
Green Beans...7-6
Mudville Nine..7-6
Reapers........ 6-7

The Australian Taipans join Show Me Your TD's, Collared Greenz, Huge Manatee, Drunk Ground Hogs and Phants Rage as eliminated from the playoffs.

Seven teams still contesting for both a Divisional Championship and Wild Card positions, this is where it all comes down to. Who will be there? Find out seven days from now.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

In week thirteen, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present, for the effort of 2 sacks, 2 interceptions, 1 fumble recovery and 1 defensive TD, the Denver defensive unit of the Wild Boston Terriers, is the Week Thirteen MVT.


http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

[Gut Wrench]

SHOCK NORRIS DIVISION WINNER.
...and final Wildcards stolen by Green Beans and Mudville Nine.


A wild final week of the regular season has seen a couple of the league favorites fail to reach expectations, and a couple of other teams literally steal their way into the Subsim Torpedo Bowl finals.

Already assured of the divisional titles, Every Given Sunday of the Sub Simmer division rested the starters, slumped to their third consecutive loss allowing the Reapers to score a season high record win of 131-75, and give them an opportunity to make the playoffs pending the results of other games.

Helmands Nighthawks, having acquired the Surface Skimmers Division and assured the #1 playoff position, had little to play for. Their opponents however, the Wild Boston Terriers needed the win to take the division, but it was not to be. The Nighthawks relegated the Terriers to the Consolation Series winning the game 114 - 90, even with Kurt Warner's substandard Monday Night performance.

The Dragons, having already clinched a Championship berth, were only playing for the #2 or #3 seed in the Championship Series. A win or a loss would make no difference to their position, they were always going to be dependent on other results to learn whom they would be playing in the post season. But they did get a close look at the BP Badasses as they defeated the Dragons 113-105

The highest ranked team fighting for the last two positions, the Miners were scheduled to play the Australian Taipans, the only international team not to make the playoffs. Someone forgot to tell them that and the arm of Eli Manning throwing for 391 yards led to the Taipans beating the Miners 92 - 88. The loss didn't eliminate the Miners, but their post season rested on the Mudville Nine - Show Me Your TD's game.

In week 4, the Mudville Nine annihilated the TD's, and on the return match, showed it was no fluke by defeating them again 87-67. The win put the Nine into the consolation series, but, the Miners future would rest on the Green Beans - Huge Manatee game. The Beans, playing one of the "ghost" teams, took the game easily 83-52, and dropped the Miners to spectators for the remainder of the season.

And after fourteen regular season weeks, the league looks like this.

DIVISIONAL CHAMPIONS
Team.....Record

Nighthawks...11-3
BP Badasses..11-3
Dragons...... 9-5
Every Given Sunday 8-6

WILDCARD PLAY OFFS
Team....... Record

Ded Poets.......11-3 (Norriss Division)
Wild Terriers....9-4 (Norris Division)
Green Beans...8-6 (Sub Simmers Division)
Mudville Nine..8-6 (Surface Skimmers)

SUNK
Team....... Record

Reapers........ 7-7
Miners...........7-7
AU Taipans.....6-8
Show Me TD's..6-8
Collared Greenz.5-9
Huge Manatee..3-11
Drunk Hogs......2-11
Phants Rage.....1-13


The playoff schedule starting next week goes like this.

The Nighthawks, with home field advantage, host Every Given Sunday in Cyprus. In week 5, Show Me Your TD's stunned the Nighthawkls with a 105-95 victory. As the #2 seed, the BP Badasses host the Dragons, having only just played each other this week.

In the Consolation Series, the highest seed is the 11-3 Ded Poets with a record good enough to win any division (except their own) and drawn the Mudville Nine, a team they narrowly defetaed in week 2 with a 77-72 win. The Wild Boston Terriers (9-5) host the Green Beans, a team that they lost to in the opening week 78-123.

A wild post season looms as the race to the Torpedo Bowl continues.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

In week fourteen, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present, for 11 receptions, 193 yards, 3 rushing TD's for a score of 37.8 points, Andrew Johnson of the BP Badasses is the Week Fourteen MVT.


http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

[Gut Wrench]

EVERY GIVEN SUNDAY THERE'S A SHOCK.
...and an unpredicted Torpedo Bowl Matchup.


The Pro Pick Em in the first week of the post season - Raiders, Browns, Bucs, ... and Every Given Sunday.

Are you kidding me? Not even Guru Neal Stevens would have picked those four, and naturally, the $4M jackpots to next week...meaning, DONATE TO SUBSIM.

Commercial break is over, back to the football.

After back dooring their way into the post season with three straight losses, and then needing favorable results in other games to win the SubSimmers division, and what many consider "lucky" to make the playoffs', have recreated the magic of their week 7 win over Helmand Nighthawks. Proving it was no fluke by spoiling the run of the #1 seeded Nighthawks, defeating them 100 - 86. Every Given Sunday advance to the Torpedo Bowl final.

No one saw that coming, in particular the defending Torpedo Bowl champions, the Dragons, who after getting bruised in the final week of the regular season against the BP Badasses, came back to avenge their loss with a 136 - 103. In week 5, the Dragons defeated Every Given Sunday 88-70, and the Torpedo Bowl match up looks intense.

"We're going in there with our game plan, to match up, and come away with our second trophy," Coach Rick of the Dragons stated in a press conference.

Every Given Sunday Coach Aramike had a different approach to the game. "Free beer and lap dances if we win."

The losses in the Championship round relegate the Helmand Nighthawks to hosting the BP Badasses, the number #1 and #2 seeds in the play off for the bronze medal.

In the Consolation Series, the premier game was the Wild Boston Terriers hosting the Mudville Nine. The Nine were able to get their nose slightly in front in a low scoring game, taking the win 92-75. The Mudville Nine advance to the 5th place game against the Ded Poets, who decimated the Green Beans 121-87. The Green Beans will meet the Wild Boston terriers in the playoff for 7th place.

"Not where we wanted to be," Coach McBee was heard to say.

There were a few other Coaches having word this weekend. Steve Smith of the Australian Taipans and Ben Roethlisberger of the Show Me Your TD's both put up great numbers, (157 yards and 508 yards respectively) to no avail, both Coaches left watching the post season from their respective couches.

So here we are, one final week, and the biggest game of the year sees the Dragons (#3) hosting Every Given Sunday (#4) in perhaps the most unpredicted Torpedo Bowl game. Next week, we will know who the best coach is. Can Coach Rick do it again and make it two in a row, or will the new upstart "party-hard" Coach Aramike pull off the biggest upset of the year, and steal the crown?

Stick around, the best game of the year is about to begin.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

In week fifteen, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present, for 308 yards, 4 TD's and scoring 33 points, Peyton Manning of the Ded Poets is the Week fifteen MVT.


http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

[mookiemookie]

Ben Roethlisberger of the Show Me Your TD's both put up great numbers, (157 yards and 508 yards respectively) to no avail, both Coaches left watching the post season from their respective couches.

Damn right! Rape-lesberger waited until I was out of the running to put up a quality day. It's a conspiracy I tell you!

[Onkel Neal]

Man, these are great writeups. Count me in for FF next year :salute:

[ReallyDedPoet]

Very nice work here GW, thanks :yep::up:

[Aramike]

I got insanely lucky this week. It seemed as though I either got no production at all or ridiculous production.

Rodgers helped me out a bit, too. :cool:

[RickC Sniper]

These writeups have been a lot of fun to read. Thanks, GW.

I thought Nighthawks would smoke us all in the playoffs. It just goes to show how hard it is to predict these things. It's 90% luck once the playoffs start IMO.

Good Luck to you Mike, in the championship game.

Rick
Team Dragons

[Gut Wrench]

TORPEDO BOWL LINEUPS.
...subject to some last minute Christmas drafting.


Well, the teams have finally arrived at the last game of the year, the one that matters the most, the chance to hoist the converted Torpedo Bowl trophy high aloft, and race off home sticking their tongue out saying "Nhah nhah nhah na nah nah."

But who are the teams? Who are these gladiators that have fought through the fifteen weeks to finally arrive at this concluding game, where some guys will go home with smiles, and the others will be wondering what happened.

Let's meet the teams...right after this commercial break.

DONATE TO SUBSIM.

Welcome back, we're just about to meet the two teams that will be taking the field starting Christmas night, in the Championship game.

With a regular season record of 8-6, and winning the Sub Simmers Division, Coach Aramike has been met with a barrage of criticism. The underdogs in this match-up, Aramike was asked at the Press Conference "what business he had in the finals with an 8-6 win".

"Yeah it was ugly," he said. "But we made it to the big game, and 14 other teams didn't. How ugly do they look?"

Touche.

And now....the Every Given Sunday team.

Quarterback: Aaron Rodgers (Green Bay)
Wide Receivers: Vincent Jackson (San Diego)
Deion Branch (Seattle)
Jordy Nelson (Green Bay)
Running Backs: Marion Barber (Dallas)
Michael Turner (Atlanta)
Tight End: Jeremy Shockey (New Orleans)
Kicker: Ryan Longwell (Minnesota)
Defense: New Orleans

and on the bench, Ahmad Bradshaw ( New York Giants), Antwann Randle El (Washington) Jason Snelling (Washington) Josh Johnson (Tampa Bay) Tony Scheffer (Denver) and the Philadelphia defense.

Ladies and Gentlemen....Every Given Sunday.:woot:


On the other side of the pigskin, and no stranger to the Grand Final, the defending Torpedo Bowl Champions, the Dragons. Lead by Coach Rick, the Dragons finished the regular season as the #3 seed, taking the Ol Schoolers division with a 9-5 record. They looked strong the whole year, leading their division despite some unexpected losses.

"We came to play," Coach Rick grinned at the Press Conference. "And if we got some W's, that was even better."

And now....the Dragons make their way on to the field.

Quarterback: Phillip Rivers (San Diego)
Wide Receivers: Larry Fitzgerlad (Arizona)
Miles Auston (Dallas)
Mike Sims-Walker (Jacksonville)
Running Backs: Lawrence Maroney (New England)
Quinten Ganther (Washington)
Tight End: Dallas Clark (Indianapollis)
Kicker: Lawrence Tynes (New York Giants)
Defense: Baltimore

and on the bench, Juston Forsett (Seattle), Joshua Cribbs (Cleveland) Kevin Walter (Houston ) Ryan Moats (Houston) Maurice Morris (Detroit) and Kris Brown (Houston)

Ladies and Gentlemen....The Dragons.:woot:

Interesting enough, neither team has one player in the scheduled Monday night game, meaning that this Bowl will be decided by, late Sunday night. The Dragons are heavily favored to win, however, Every Given Sunday didn't make it this far on their good, umm, ugly looks.

There are three other games playing out this the final weekend in Subsim Fantasy Football. Full report after the Monday night game.

For the Subsim Football Network, this is Gut Wrench reporting from the Torpedo Bowl.

[mr chris]

Good luck to both teams in the Bowl.
The Nighthawks will be back next season if invited.
Have had a blast in my first FF season.
Thanks for the invite and the help with the draft Niki:up:
Oh and by the way my WR Core you are all fired.

[Aramike]

Good luck to both teams in the Bowl.
The Nighthawks will be back next season if invited.
Have had a blast in my first FF season.
Thanks for the invite and the help with the draft Niki:up:
Oh and by the way my WR Core you are all fired.Damn, pretty good for the first time out! I got super lucky. If it wasn't for a 5 game winning streak before limping in I would have been toast.

But don't fret too much about WRs. They are notoriously inconsistant, and really depend on how they are gameplanned. Hell, Vincent Jackson has either been my ace or flop every single week.

[Gut Wrench]

DRAGONS WIN.
...in a low scoring Torpedo Bowl.


They came into the season as the defending champions. They fought through some big victories and at least one one major upset to finish as the number #3 seed in the playoffs. And then it fell into their lap, they won their first playoff game and were handed, what most expected was a gift match up against Every Given Sunday. But they did it the hard way through 7 minutes of Monday Night overtime, to become back to back Torpedo Bowl Champions.

Let's find out how...right after this commercial break.

DONATE TO SUBSIM.

Welcome back. We join the Dragon team as they begin celebrating their second Torpedo Bowl win. Between beers after the game, Coach Rick said "Ughhh, blah erg Sunday huh, blur blur blur, duh Dragons win."
(Translation: "Well done Sunday, they played hard, but on the day, Dragons win.")

In one of the lowest scoring games of the season, the Dragons beat Every Given Sunday 67.43 - 62.89, but they needed from Thursday - Monday to get it done . Every Given Sunday made some late changes to their team (coincidentally on Sunday) removing their injured tight end Jeremy Shockey and running back Michael Turner. By Monday night, their entire season was resting on the boot of Ryan Longwell. Despite some high scoring games across the league, this game was an all round low performance effort, with most players in the Torpedo Bowl only earning single digit scores. The missed point after attempt by Longwell only punctuated the lack of scoring, giving the Dragons, their second championship.

Had Every Given Sunday played to their 8-6 divisional winning level, they could have pulled off the upset of the season.

In the bronze medal game, both Helmand Nighthawks and the BP Badasses more then made up for the low scoring Bowl game, turning it into a thrilling gunslinger match, as the scored rolled up to a Nighthawks win 115.96 - 112.32. In their first season as an expansion team, the Helmand Nighthawks after dominating the regular season, clearly earned the Rookie of the Year Award, if we had one.

Two other games were played to determine the Consolation Bowl placings in the league.

In the 5th place game, The Ded Poets and Mudville Nine (the Nine starting one RB short) needed all of the weekend before Adrian Peterson finally scored a 1 yard touchdown run on Monday Night to put the Ded Nose of the Poets in front. The Poets and Nighthawks showed that the internationally based teams can be a force...if they can survive the draft.

And the battle continued on down the line, the Wild Boston Terriers just too strong for the Green Beans, dominating them and asserting themselves as a deservedly higher seed then the winner of the 7th place game. Final score Wil Boston Terriers 126 - Green Beans 85.

But we cant conclude the last game of the Subsim season without the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) nominating their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance. The player who lifted their team to victory, quite possibly, may end up taking the "lower division" NFL MVP.

For 264 passing yards and 2 TD's earning a (relative) high score of 16.73 points, the Torpedo Bowl MVT is Phillip Rivers of the Torpedo Bowl Champions, the Dragons.

http://i654.photobucket.com/albums/uu266/PioneerXI/MVT.jpg

For the Subsim Football Network, this is Gut Wrench reporting from the Dragons Clubhouse where the beer is flowing, the strippers are working, and there's not a camera to be seen.:woot:

See ya next year.:salute:

[Gut Wrench]

ALL SUBSIM TEAM NAMED.
...in honor of a fallen.


In recent weeks my email box has been inundated (well, one anyway) with a request. What about a pro bowl team? At the same time the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) have been reading over the threads and watched the discussions on various players in the league. One evening while having a drink (or two) we decided to nominate our best of the best, with a catch.

As we are a sub-gaming community, it made no sense to nominate our all star team after anyone outside of the forums. And as efforts vary from year to year, the ASW decided that it would be more then fitting that the name of the best team can change from year to year.

So, after a long night of drinking, arguments, more drinking, animated discussions, a late night pizza delivery and a little bit more drinking, the final ballots were counted from all the eligible players in the Torpedo Bowl League.

So without further ado, let me present to you, the all star team, named in honor of one of our fallen members.

2009 ABRAHAM ZEEGERS ALL STAR WOLVERINES.


QB: Drew Brees - The Green Beans
WR: Andrew Johnson - BP Badasses
Wes Walker - Mudville Nine
Miles Austin - Dragons
RB: Chris Johnson - Helmand Nighthawks
Maurice Jones Drew - Wild Boston Terriers
TE: Dallas Clark - Dragons
K: Nate Keeding - Helmand Nighthawks
DEF: New York Jets - Miners

Bench:
Peyton Manning - The Ded Poets
De Dean Jackson - Show Me Your TD's
Sidney Rice - Miners
Thomas Jones - Australian Taipans
Adrian Peterson - Ded Poets
Vernon Davis - Reapers
Ryan Longwell - Every Given Sunday
Baltimore Defense - Dragons