Reasons to Fear Canada

[Stealth Hunter]

Ninety-percent of population is massed within 100 miles north of the United States' border.

Seems not to mind that one of its provinces being almost entirely French.

Excessive politeness only makes sense as cover for something truly sinister.

Citizens seem strangely impervious to cold.

Decriminalization of marijuana and acceptance of gay marriage without corresponding collapse of social institutions indicate Canada may very well be indestructible.

Has infiltrated entertainment industry with singers, actors, and comedians practically indistinguishable from their American counterparts.

Consistently stays just below cultural radar yet never quite disappears totally.

Parliamentary government and common-law judiciary appear to function acceptably yet remain completely inscrutable.

Never had a "disco phase".

Seemingly endless supply of timber, donuts, and Scotch-plaid hats with earflaps.

Keeps insisting it "has no designs on America" and "only wants peace".

Plays a mean game of pond hockey.

Has a universal health care system considered to be Socialist and yet it's citizens remain healthy, showing the people may invulnerable to disease.

[Mush Martin]

President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which country to invade next, when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, President Bush" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Archie, up ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada eh? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on ya!"

"Well Archie," George replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"

George paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!" Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. “Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Archie?” George asked.

"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor."

President Bush sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."

Lard T'underin' bye", said Archie, I'll be getting back to ya."

Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "President Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four byes from the Legion have joined us as well!"

George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Jumpins," said Archie,” I’ll have ta call youse back."

Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President Bush! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said George. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners."

CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN!

[Torplexed]

The Redcoats are coming....and they're so well-behaved. ;)

http://www.rightwingnews.com/graphics/mountie.jpg

[Mush Martin]

:rotfl:

[Max2147]

More reasons to fear Canada....

They have beavers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqOI7KejIng

And they sing their anthem better than anybody else: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meLpuF9UMvk

[August]

The Redcoats are coming....and they're so well-behaved. ;)

http://www.rightwingnews.com/graphics/mountie.jpg

Sorry but those guys look like they're posing for the sequel to Brokeback Mountain. "Brokeback Mountie"

[Monica Lewinsky]

Ninety-percent of population is massed within 100 miles north of the United States' border.

And they run contests like this. Nuke 'em I say:

http://learnabit.homeserver.com/lab/beavercontest.wmv

[Max2147]

And they run contests like this. Nuke 'em I say:

http://learnabit.homeserver.com/lab/beavercontest.wmv
They also enjoy chasing beaver: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y09YOkVmGg0

I do like the "What to drink when you're chasing beaver" slogan. It doesn't beat around the bush. Ahem.

[SteamWake]

Personally I fear Canada because there beer sucks. :salute:

[ETR3(SS)]

Idk about that. Blue Moon is pretty good. :yeah:

[Task Force]

http://pix.motivatedphotos.com/2008/6/16/633492552440829456-canada%27s-army.jpg
Heres canada's secret weapon...:o

[Kptlt Thomsen]

Ninety-percent of population is massed within 100 miles north of the United States' border.

Seems not to mind that one of its provinces being almost entirely French.

Excessive politeness only makes sense as cover for something truly sinister.

Citizens seem strangely impervious to cold.

Decriminalization of marijuana and acceptance of gay marriage without corresponding collapse of social institutions indicate Canada may very well be indestructible.

Has infiltrated entertainment industry with singers, actors, and comedians practically indistinguishable from their American counterparts.

Consistently stays just below cultural radar yet never quite disappears totally.

Parliamentary government and common-law judiciary appear to function acceptably yet remain completely inscrutable.

Never had a "disco phase".

Seemingly endless supply of timber, donuts, and Scotch-plaid hats with earflaps.

Keeps insisting it "has no designs on America" and "only wants peace".

Plays a mean game of pond hockey.

Has a universal health care system considered to be Socialist and yet it's citizens remain healthy, showing the people may invulnerable to disease.

LOL...sounds like you have spent some time here...but I beg to differ with you on a point...yes we had a "disgusting disco" phase in the late 70's-early 80's..glad it's long dead.:rock:

[Kptlt Thomsen]

Personally I fear Canada because there beer sucks. :salute:
Your taste buds are dead..:haha:

[Torplexed]

http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/e/e4/Canadiannavy.jpg

[Rilder]

http://i31.tinypic.com/faaq9v.jpg

The Canadian Airforce takes off for their bombing campaign south.

[Task Force]

Canadas biggest carrier...
http://img.moronail.net/img/0/0/1000.jpg

http://members.gamedev.net/nordwindranger/images/canada.jpg (http://members.gamedev.net/nordwindranger/images/canada.jpg)

[Kptlt Thomsen]

http://i31.tinypic.com/faaq9v.jpg

The Canadian Airforce takes off for their bombing campaign south.

Very nice...you'll notice the "pilots" in the above photo are making use of the very latest in USAF aircraft technology...

[Kptlt Thomsen]

:yawn:http://pix.motivatedphotos.com/2008/6/16/633492552440829456-canada%27s-army.jpg
Heres canada's secret weapon...:o
:yawn::yawn:

[OneToughHerring]

Ninety-percent of population is massed within 100 miles north of the United States' border.
...

Hmm, what does it all mean...:hmmm:

A 'Lovecraftian' interpretation would point to possibly one or two sources, either extraterrestial or some ancient entity, possibly of nautical origin. Beware USA. :cool:

http://img62.imageshack.us/img62/8641/lolcthulhuot3.jpg

[Jimbuna]

http://i31.tinypic.com/faaq9v.jpg

The Canadian Airforce takes off for their bombing campaign south.

Their latest weapon system is quite unique :DL

http://img9.imageshack.us/img9/716/nzairforceby6.jpg (http://img9.imageshack.us/i/nzairforceby6.jpg/)

Canada: Home of the largest French population never to surrender to Germany

[ReallyDedPoet]

Your taste buds are dead..:haha:

:up::up::D

[Onkel Neal]

You guys are forgetting Capt. Kirk is from Canada.

You better call of the invasion!

[Sailor Steve]

They also invented the sport of Murderball, AKA Wheelchair Rugby.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0436613/

On the other hand they didn't win much until they hired an American coach, whom they promptly fired again. Just saw this the other day - great film!

[Kapt Z]

Oh, to have such problems....:salute:

Even for a little while.;)

[FIREWALL]

@ Stealth Hunter Please keep your Gene Pool on your side of the Border. :haha: :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

[Sledgehammer427]

Neal, it says so Capt. Kirk was born in Iowa, Unless you mean shatner....

[Highbury]

http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/e/e4/Canadiannavy.jpg

Why does this pic always come up with something about the Canadian Navy when it has a US Coast Guard logo on the side? :hmmm:

[Rilder]

Why does this pic always come up with something about the Canadian Navy when it has a US Coast Guard logo on the side? :hmmm:

Canada can't afford to actually own it so they have to lease it from the US. ;)

[Sailor Steve]

That's not it at all. They didn't have a logo of their own, so they paid a local artist to make them one and didn't bother to read it before they put it on.

"We wuz robbed!"

[Highbury]

Canada can't afford to actually own it so they have to lease it from the US. ;)

Canada actually has the most potent weapon in the world, the only one that can bring down the US...

Power switch for the Eastern Seaboard :P

[Jimbuna]

http://www.solidarity.com/hkcartoons/teachertoons/images/huckfunding1.gif