Goodbye Grandad

[TarJak]

Poor old Granddad's passed away, cut off in his prime,

He never had a day off crook - gone before his time,

We found him in the dunny, collapsed there on the seat,

A startled look upon his face, his trousers around his feet,

The doctor said his heart was good - fit as any trout,

The Constable he had his say, 'foul play' was not ruled out.

There were theories at the inquest of snakebite without trace,

Of redbacks quietly creeping and death from outer space,

No-one had a clue at all - the judge was in some doubt,

When Dad was called to have his say as to how it came about,

'I reckon I can clear it up,' said Dad with trembling breath,

'You see it's quite a story - but it could explain his death.'

'This here exploration mob had been looking at our soil,

And they reckoned that our farm was just the place for oil,

So they came and put a bore down and said they'd make some trials,

They drilled a hole as deep as hell, they said about three miles.

Well, they never found a trace of oil and off they went, post haste,

And I couldn't see a hole like that go to flamin' waste,

So I moved the dunny over it - real smart move I thought,

I'd never have to dig again - I'd never be 'caught short'.

The day I moved the dunny, it looked a proper sight,

But I didn't dream poor Granddad would pass away that night,

Now I reckon what has happened - poor Granddad didn't know,

The dunny was re-located when that night he had to go.

And you'll probably be wondering how poor Granddad did his dash--

Well, he always used to hold his breath

Until he heard the splash!!

[CastleBravo]

Lost my grand dad in 1997. Thanks for reminding me!

[FIREWALL]

Poor old Granddad's passed away, cut off in his prime,

He never had a day off crook - gone before his time,

We found him in the dunny, collapsed there on the seat,

A startled look upon his face, his trousers around his feet,

The doctor said his heart was good - fit as any trout,

The Constable he had his say, 'foul play' was not ruled out.

There were theories at the inquest of snakebite without trace,

Of redbacks quietly creeping and death from outer space,

No-one had a clue at all - the judge was in some doubt,

When Dad was called to have his say as to how it came about,

'I reckon I can clear it up,' said Dad with trembling breath,

'You see it's quite a story - but it could explain his death.'

'This here exploration mob had been looking at our soil,

And they reckoned that our farm was just the place for oil,

So they came and put a bore down and said they'd make some trials,

They drilled a hole as deep as hell, they said about three miles.

Well, they never found a trace of oil and off they went, post haste,

And I couldn't see a hole like that go to flamin' waste,

So I moved the dunny over it - real smart move I thought,

I'd never have to dig again - I'd never be 'caught short'.

The day I moved the dunny, it looked a proper sight,

But I didn't dream poor Granddad would pass away that night,

Now I reckon what has happened - poor Granddad didn't know,

The dunny was re-located when that night he had to go.

And you'll probably be wondering how poor Granddad did his dash--

Well, he always used to hold his breath

Until he heard the splash!!


:up: :haha:

[Kptlt Thomsen]

Sorry to hear of your loss. My condolences

[FIREWALL]

Get a grip on yourselfs. TarJak posted a joke. :roll:

[Task Force]

Good joke TJ.:up:

err poem I should say.:lol:

[bookworm_020]

:har::har::har::har::har:

Adds new meaning to a long drop toilet!:D

[Biggles]

Get a grip on yourselfs. TarJak posted a joke. :roll:

This is no place for joking!!!!!!!!:x:stare:





















Ah, comeon, you know I'm not humourless:O:

[Jimbuna]

Nice one mate http://img101.imageshack.us/img101/2772/thumbsupgv0.gif

http://www.freefever.com/animatedgifs/animated/men9.gif

[Shearwater]

Nice one :DL
Here's one of mine. Shorter, but it rhymes as well.

There once was a man from Down Under
Who, on crapping, was louder than thunder.
So his folks found a trick:
They shoved in a stick
That tore his intestines asunder.

Enjoy :D

[Kptlt Thomsen]

It would appear that I have been hooked, llined and sinkered!! :haha: I thought the poor fellow lost his grandfather....:ping:

[longam]

For some reason I started picturing a gusher while gramp's was sitting there.

[TarJak]

It would appear that I have been hooked, llined and sinkered!! :haha: I thought the poor fellow lost his grandfather....:ping:LOL I lost one of my grandfathers when I wasn 5 the other one is still kicking at 98! Long may he keep on going. And I don't live in the sticks where longdrop dunny's are needed.:DL

[Falkirion]

Nice one Tarjak. Sound aussie humor that.:rotfl::har::har:

[Letum]

Tarjak:
I'm sorry to hear that. Please accept my condolences.

His passing should be taken by all of us as a lesson about breath control
during bowel movements.

I do think you should relocate your facility again Tarjak. Such a deep hole
might pose a hazard to small children using your facility, not to mention
the danger to anyone else who does not exhale until his excretion has
landed.

Everyone else:
Shame on you for laughing!

[Jimbuna]

LOL I lost one of my grandfathers when I wasn 5 the other one is still kicking at 98! Long may he keep on going. And I don't live in the sticks where longdrop dunny's are needed.:DL

Yeah, but you told me in Houston you still long for electricity and running water :hmmm:

[Sailor Steve]

TJ, I'll see your 'Grandad' and raise you one I heard when I was driving charter vans:

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my dad did; not screaming in terror like his passengers.

[Task Force]

lol@sailorsteve.:rotfl:

[Biggles]

lol@sailorsteve.:rotfl:

Bah that was an old joke.:O: I don't have a better one though:shifty:

[Sailor Steve]

Bah that was an old joke.:O: I don't have a better one though:shifty:
Well, I'm an old dude. And who knows how old you were when I was driving charter vans, which was twenty-five years ago.

Oh, wait, I did it a second time, and that was only eight years ago.

But which time did I hear it first? I don't remember.

I hate getting old. I think I'll start getting younger again.

[Jimbuna]

The old uns are still the best Steve :up:

.....even their jokes :03:

[Sailor Steve]

OUCH!

[FIREWALL]

TJ, I'll see your 'Grandad' and raise you one I heard when I was driving charter vans:

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my dad did; not screaming in terror like his passengers.


That is Hilarious Steve :haha: :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

[Jimbuna]

We call our grandad "Spiderman".

He hasn't got any super powers - he just finds it difficult to get out of the bath.