Brag
06-18-09, 02:06 PM
Note:
If you have missed the Bonus Balz from earlier this week, read that first. :woot:
Lt. Fritz Gwitz writes:
In the last episode of this biography of Johan Sebastian Balz, the great U-boat Teutonic hero, we left him in deep trouble. Sandokan was very upset because pirates get upset when they end up with a big hole on their ship. You too would be upset. But being an extraordinary seaman, Balz was not upset because he was already thinking beyond the upsetting events.
Sandokan aimed his revolver at Balz. “We came for the mucho gold. Not to get my ship damaged and hung up like a harpooned whale. I’ll be the laughing stock of the pirates’ den.”
Eying the big revolver, the great Balz did not lose his aplomb and assumed a heroic pose. “If you shoot me, you’ll never get to London’s West End.”
“Pfooey, why would I want to go to London?”
Balz gestured in a magnanimous way, showing great magnaminity. He was a magnanimous sailor. “You will star in a superlative pirate musical production with lots of hoochie-woochie. After enormous success in London, we’ll do a brilliant season in Broadway.”
“Really?” Sandokan asked, not believing what he had just heard. “And what will be the title of this musical?”
“The Pirates of Pensang,” Balz answered. “But first, we have to make you famous.”
“I am famous,” Sandokan holstered his huge revolver.
“You will be more famous than Captain Blight.”
“How?”
Balz pointed at the lifeboats of the Flying Dutchman. “By sailing on a lifeboat to Australia.”
“They will hang me in Australia.”
“Well, we’ve met in Australia.” Balz argued.
“I went there to watch a hanging, not to be hung.”
“Ah,” Balz said, seeing the pirate’s logic. “Then, we’ll sail to your pirates’ den and get a new ship.”
“Good idea,” Sandokan scratched his turban. “How do we recover the strong box with the mucho gold?”
“Easy,” Balz said. “First, we burn the Mariana so we can lower the anchor, which will pull the cable up as the anchor goes down because the box comes up as the anchor gets lowered. When the box comes up because the anchor went down we stop the anchor, which will stop the box because the anchor will be stopped as the box is stopped, too. Then we put das mucho gold box into the lifeboat and sail away.”
“Very well, execute your plan,” Sandokan said.
The pirates set fire to the Mariana, roasted sausages and sang songs.
Balz had an Amstel beer.
The Dutch captain came down from what was left of his demolished bridge. “You fools,” he said.” While you were barbequing, I’ve sent an SOS. The Royal Dutch Navy is underway and steaming full speed ahead, to hang you ruffians.”
“Oh, oh,” Balz said, smelling trouble.
Has Balz run out of hoochie-woochie? Will Balz get captured by the nefarious Dutch? Will he go to Jail?
Log in next week for another exciting chapter in The Life of Balz.
If you have missed the Bonus Balz from earlier this week, read that first. :woot:
Lt. Fritz Gwitz writes:
In the last episode of this biography of Johan Sebastian Balz, the great U-boat Teutonic hero, we left him in deep trouble. Sandokan was very upset because pirates get upset when they end up with a big hole on their ship. You too would be upset. But being an extraordinary seaman, Balz was not upset because he was already thinking beyond the upsetting events.
Sandokan aimed his revolver at Balz. “We came for the mucho gold. Not to get my ship damaged and hung up like a harpooned whale. I’ll be the laughing stock of the pirates’ den.”
Eying the big revolver, the great Balz did not lose his aplomb and assumed a heroic pose. “If you shoot me, you’ll never get to London’s West End.”
“Pfooey, why would I want to go to London?”
Balz gestured in a magnanimous way, showing great magnaminity. He was a magnanimous sailor. “You will star in a superlative pirate musical production with lots of hoochie-woochie. After enormous success in London, we’ll do a brilliant season in Broadway.”
“Really?” Sandokan asked, not believing what he had just heard. “And what will be the title of this musical?”
“The Pirates of Pensang,” Balz answered. “But first, we have to make you famous.”
“I am famous,” Sandokan holstered his huge revolver.
“You will be more famous than Captain Blight.”
“How?”
Balz pointed at the lifeboats of the Flying Dutchman. “By sailing on a lifeboat to Australia.”
“They will hang me in Australia.”
“Well, we’ve met in Australia.” Balz argued.
“I went there to watch a hanging, not to be hung.”
“Ah,” Balz said, seeing the pirate’s logic. “Then, we’ll sail to your pirates’ den and get a new ship.”
“Good idea,” Sandokan scratched his turban. “How do we recover the strong box with the mucho gold?”
“Easy,” Balz said. “First, we burn the Mariana so we can lower the anchor, which will pull the cable up as the anchor goes down because the box comes up as the anchor gets lowered. When the box comes up because the anchor went down we stop the anchor, which will stop the box because the anchor will be stopped as the box is stopped, too. Then we put das mucho gold box into the lifeboat and sail away.”
“Very well, execute your plan,” Sandokan said.
The pirates set fire to the Mariana, roasted sausages and sang songs.
Balz had an Amstel beer.
The Dutch captain came down from what was left of his demolished bridge. “You fools,” he said.” While you were barbequing, I’ve sent an SOS. The Royal Dutch Navy is underway and steaming full speed ahead, to hang you ruffians.”
“Oh, oh,” Balz said, smelling trouble.
Has Balz run out of hoochie-woochie? Will Balz get captured by the nefarious Dutch? Will he go to Jail?
Log in next week for another exciting chapter in The Life of Balz.