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GoldenRivet
06-14-09, 01:02 AM
Two friends go down to the lake one day and set up on a pier to catch some fish.

they put the cooler down and set up their chairs and notice that there is a man they don't recognize fishing off the end of the pier and appears to have been there for quite some time - yet the sun is only just now coming up.

the two men comment on what a dedicated fisherman he must be.

after a full day of fishing, the two friends pack up to head home, yet the fisherman at the end of the pier shows no signs of packing it up - even though night is fast approaching.

the next day, the two friends return to the pier, the first thing they notice is that even though the sun has barely begun to peak across the horizon, the fisherman at the far end of the pier is already set up and has been there long enough to catch a few fish!

"wow" they comment "that guy is hard core"

after another full day of fishing, the two friends pack it up to head home, but not the fisherman at the end of the pier... he just sits there and continues to fish - seemingly oblivious to the fact that night is setting in.

on the third day the two friends return to their spot on the pier, showing up even earlier in the morning to attempt to beat the fisherman at the end of the pier to the fish.

yet as soon as they arrive, before they even unload the truck they notice that the fisherman is already set up at the end of the pier in his usual spot.

"My God!" one of the friends says "that guy IS hard core"

around lunch, as the two friends are fishing, the man at the end of the pier packs it up and heads into the bait shop cafe for lunch.

unable to contain their curiosity, the two friends decide to follow the obviously hard core fisherman and see what his story is.

taking a seat next to the fisherman at the bar they ask..

"Hi stranger, we noticed you out here the past few days fishing from sun up to sun down and didnt recognize you from around these parts... did you come here just to fish?"

the fisherman says...

"No... im here for my honeymoon."

taken back the two friends ask...

"Honeymoon?! well friend you have been out here all day every day for the past 3 days, shouldn't you be back at the honeymoon suite with that new bride having all kinds of crazy sex all day and all night?"

the fisherman explains...

"I cant have sex with her because she has gonorrhea."

the friends ask

"wow.. thats too bad... well couldn't you cuddle up in the bed next to her and pet on her and kiss her passionately at least?"

the fisherman explains...

"cant do that either, because she has piarea, and if i kiss her i'll get it!"

the friends ask...

"thats too bad! well couldnt you stay with her in the hotel and enjoy your time with the woman you love?"

the fisherman explains...

"i cant do that because she has diahrea and is locked up in the bathroom all day crapping her brains out."

the friends just dont know what to say and finally ask

"Well if she has all of those conditions why on earth would you marry her???!"

the fisherman explains...

"well... she has worms too, and you know... i love to fish!"

Jimbuna
06-14-09, 06:29 AM
Nice one :DL

In a small fishing village, a fisherman was walking up the wharf carrying two - at least three-pound live lobsters - one in each hand.
It was three weeks after the season closed! Whom should he meet at the end of the wharf but the Federal Fisheries Officer who, upon viewing the live and wiggling lobsters, says: "Well me Laddie I got you this time - with two live lobsters three weeks after the season closed!"
The fisherman says, "No - My Son you are wrong! These are two trained lobsters that I caught two weeks before the season ended."
The Fisheries Officer says, "Trained like how?"
"Well my son, each day I takes these two from my house down to the wharf and puts them in the water for a swim. While they swim I sits on the wharf and has me a smoke, or two. After about 15 minutes I whistles and up comes me two lobsters, and I takes them home!"
"Likely story", the Fisheries Officer says! "Let's take them on down the wharf and see if it's true."
So, the fisherman goes ahead of the Fisheries Officer to the end of the wharf where, under supervision, he gently lowers both lobsters into the water.
The fisherman sits on a wharf piling and lights up a smoke, then another! After about 15 minutes the Fisheries Officer says to the fisherman, "How about whistling?"
The fisherman says "What For?"
The Fisheries Officer says, " To call in the Lobsters"
The fisherman says, " What Lobsters?"

sunvalleyslim
06-14-09, 01:57 PM
Great jokes.......:haha::haha::haha::haha: