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View Full Version : Scientists have discovered the heaviest element


FIREWALL
06-12-09, 01:07 PM
Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The newly discovered element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 5 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothesized quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as little energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons

antikristuseke
06-12-09, 01:09 PM
It would be a better joke if it was at least slightly more scientificaly correct.

Sailor Steve
06-12-09, 01:17 PM
It's a great joke. At least it's philosophically correct, if not politically correct.

FIREWALL
06-12-09, 01:17 PM
And your point ? :-?

antikristuseke
06-12-09, 01:19 PM
My point is that this joke would be even better if the element described was a bit more correctly described when compared to an actual atom.

FIREWALL
06-12-09, 01:23 PM
My point is that this joke would be even better if the element described was a bit more correctly described when compared to an actual atom.


It's a ****ing joke for Christsake ! :-?

SteamWake
06-12-09, 01:26 PM
Its an old joke been around for a few years now but still funny.

In spite of the teeny tiney font :rotfl:

You know your old when you start bitchen about font size ! :oops:

antikristuseke
06-12-09, 01:29 PM
It's a ****ing joke for Christsake ! :-?

Noone is disputing that, Im just saying it could be EVEN BETTER! FFS.

Sailor Steve
06-12-09, 01:35 PM
Now even joke threads are turning into fistfights.


COOL!:woot:

FIREWALL
06-12-09, 01:37 PM
Its an old joke been around for a few years now but still funny.

In spite of the teeny tiney font :rotfl:

You know your old when you start bitchen about font size ! :oops:

That's the Spirit. :up: :haha:



Noone is disputing that, Im just saying it could be EVEN BETTER! FFS.

Then you be Jack Benny.:O:

Stealth Hunter
06-12-09, 03:36 PM
I lol'd.

Wolfehunter
06-12-09, 08:34 PM
Good one dude. :haha:

Blacklight
06-13-09, 12:24 AM
I have the book that that one is from. It's from the Satire Wire book and was also on the website. I used to LOVE Satire Wire better than The Onion. It's a shame that after a couple years of good stories that the guy writing it decided to move on.

FIREWALL
06-13-09, 02:48 AM
Its an old joke been around for a few years now but still funny.

In spite of the teeny tiney font :rotfl:

You know your old when you start bitchen about font size ! :oops:

And to think. August used to always give me hell for useing #3 Font. :rotfl: