What do you make of this?

[JALU3]

CNN (http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/04/23/bullying.suicide/index.html#cnnSTCText)
ATLANTA, Georgia (CNN) -- Eleven-year-old Jaheem Herrera woke up on April 16 acting strangely. He wasn't hungry and he didn't want to go to school.

But the outgoing fifth grader packed his bag and went to school at Dunaire Elementary School in DeKalb County, Georgia.

He came home much happier than when he left in the morning, smiling as he handed his mother, Masika Bermudez, a glowing report card full of A's and B's. She gave him a high-five and he went upstairs to his room as she prepared dinner.

A little later, when his younger sister called him to come down to eat, Jaheem didn't answer.

So mother and daughter climbed the stairs to Jaheem's room and opened the door.

Jaheem was hanging by his belt in the closet.

"I always used to see these things on TV, dead people on the news," says Bermudez. "I saw somebody die and to see this dead person is your son, hanging there, a young boy. ... To hang yourself like that, you've got to really be tired of something."

Bermudez says bullies at school pushed Jaheem over the edge.
Now taking the sexuality arguements about this case aside, what do you make out of bullying, and the suicides that sometimes occur due to said acts?

Now I have seen several outcomes due to bullying, as I think we all have seen:
Extreme violence against the percieved bully(ies), sometimes leading to death of multiple individuals.
Fighting back against the bully.
Bullying ending on its own.
Bullied taking the continued negative events.
Bullied removing themselves from the situation, sometimes leading to their own death.

Now kids, can be very VERY cruel. I am sure many of us know this first hand, maybe some of us were on the other side of the coin when they were younger. And I am sure that there must be acts like this story in the past, that maybe weren't as well publisized, irregardless, are these events more frequent than in the past? If that is the case, why? If that is not the case, does this make this story less important, or make it less significant?

[Platapus]

I was always one of the biggest kids in my schools. I think I was 6'1" by age 5 it seems :)

Being the biggest kid, I was constantly picked on and bullied. It was not fun and I can understand how this can drive a kid to take extreme measures.

My father, gave me the advice to "fight back". His reasoning was that once you stand up to a bully, they will back down and not bother you again.

My father was mistaken. Like many adults, he was subscribing a logic to the bully that bullies simply don't have. Kids do not act/react like an adult!!!

I stood up to my bully. We had a fight and like every fight, both of us lost. My father was partly correct. After that the bully never bothered me again....alone.

The day after the fight, the bully and two of his friends beat the crap out of me. After that the three of them continued to harass and beat me.

What makes adults think that a bully is going to take a beating and suddenly decide "oh wow, what I was doing was wrong, I won't do that again" Bullocks!!

Bullies bully because they want to exert power over someone. A "fair" fight aint gonna change that. All they will do is get some of their friends and beat the crap out of you.

I have heard other adults advise me that I should have gotten two of MY friends and beat the three of them up. I honestly don't understand what happens to adult's brains when they "grow" up. :doh:

If I did that the bully would have gotten five of his friends..... and ultimately one of us would run out of friends or someone would get seriously hurt.

So no, based on my experiences, standing up to a bully accomplishes nothing and can result in worst treatment. Logic and reason do not apply to kid bullies!

I wish I know what the "solution" to the bully problem is. I am afraid I don't. I don't know if bullying is getting worse, the it seems to be getting more cruel and violent. It is a terrible problem and one that adults need to solve. You can't expect kids to solve this problem.

Maybe standing up to a bully in a "fair fight" worked for some. But in my school, it just got you a worse beating. But then I was in a big city school. Perhaps the type, size, and location of the school makes a difference?

[Platapus]

irregardless,


If you use the word "irregardless" again, I will meet you in back of the Gym during lunch, OK? :D:D:D:D

[FIREWALL]

Stories like that Sadden and make me Angry at the same time.

My heart go's out to his family. :cry:

[Platapus]

Although people commit suicide for many reasons. It is my opinion that this kid committed suicide because he felt there was no solution to his problem.

If you are a parent, please listen to your kids when they talk about bullies. Don't brush it off. The last think a child needs to hear is that his or her parents "don't care".

[AVGWarhawk]

To be honest and I'm not being inconsiderate here, kids can be the most nasty, verberally, physically and mentally because they know no better. The guilty conscience has not really set in at a young age. Thinking of other feelings is usually not considered before an act is done. It is not because they want to be mean or they see it as mean spirited, they just do not know any better. I used to ridicule the odd-ball kid and I as I grew up and wiser, I truly felt remorse and enough to wish I did not do those things as a kid.

With that thought in mind, yes, I see bullying physically, verbally or otherwise is enough to drive a kid to taking his/her life. Young minds are very impressionable and can be easily persuaded into believing anything. Good, bad or indifferent. It is truly sad to read the quote you posted. Some kids can take the BS or talk about with their folks which usually helps them sort it out. Some don't or can not for whatever reason. As you know, we can not find out why they did not talk about because the deed was already done. Very sad.....

[CaptHawkeye]

His name is Jaheem and he's living in Georgia? I smell racism.

[AVGWarhawk]

His name is Jaheem and he's living in Georgia? I smell racism.


Huh:06:

[Platapus]

His name is Jaheem and he's living in Georgia? I smell racism.


According to some of the news reports (who knows how accurate they are), this was more anti-gay than racism related.

[GoldenRivet]

Racism???

Been to Atlanta?

There was probably a lot more Jaheems, jamals, Juans and Jose's in that school than there were Johnny's and Jessicas.

[Respenus]

Hang the bullies! Hang the belly lot of them! It might seem hard, yet until we remove them from the gene pool, this world will never get better.

We had one at my primary school and since discipline is generally better here in Slovenia (so far, yet it is getting steadily worse from generation to generation) I didn't have too much trouble. But one day, a kid got "smart". Next day he was "visited" by my dad. A huge fellow, not as high (more than 1.80m), yet "big" and strong. The kid saluted me with sir and still says I must say Hi to my dad from that day onwards. Yet mine was a "happy" case with my dad standing behind me. I've had a classmate in primary school which would fall to the ground if your showed him a finger (not the finger) and was spineless and did everything one told him to do. Still feel sorry for the lad and I am sure that bullying had a strong influence on his behaviour.

[Jimbuna]

Bullying should not be tolerated in any environment and particularly in schools.

It's so sad that this probably went unnoticed by the teachers...the very people best equipped to deal with the situation or at least get expert advice and help.

What a tragic waste of a young life :nope:

[AVGWarhawk]

Bullying should not be tolerated in any environment and particularly in schools.

It's so sad that this probably went unnoticed by the teachers...the very people best equipped to deal with the situation or at least get expert advice and help.

What a tragic waste of a young life :nope:

It goes unnoticed all the time Jim. Hell, I had two clowns after me all through Jr High school. Every lunch period they said to come outside and they would kick my arse. I would always say no problem, let me finish my lunch. I prefer to have my arse kicked on a full stomach. Everyday after lunch I would show up but they never did anything. Called their bluff and they backed off. :88) Anyway, teachers never noticed. I never said anything because it did not bother me.

[Schroeder]

It goes unnoticed all the time Jim.

It's even worse. People look the other way. I have a relative who is a part time teacher. Once she noticed that some guys were bullying someone. As a part time teacher who hasn't been teaching for some years she asked some of her colleagues how such cases are addressed nowadays. She got the answer: Look the other way. :damn:

[Digital_Trucker]

Racism???

Been to Atlanta?

There was probably a lot more Jaheems, jamals, Juans and Jose's in that school than there were Johnny's and Jessicas.

And you would be absolutely correct, especially in parts of DeKalb county. What kills me is the advice the child was given when he complained to school authorities about the bullying. "Man up" is not what you tell a child to do when he complains about being bullied.

[AVGWarhawk]

It's even worse. People look the other way. I have a relative who is a part time teacher. Once she noticed that some guys were bullying someone. As a part time teacher who hasn't been teaching for some years she asked some of her colleagues how such cases are addressed nowadays. She got the answer: Look the other way. :damn:

I'm guessing most teachers are afraid of being sued if anything physical might become of it...and students do get physical with teachers. Countless cases in the city of Baltimore MD last year. It is a hard situation to address. What is the legal definition of bullying? Is there one. Harrassment? What term does one use?

[Platapus]

Each state has their own definition of bullying (if any).

That is one of the many problems with this problem: How to define it.

Extremes are easy to define

Kid repeatably getting the crap beaten out of him would probably be considered bullying.

Kid choosing not to play with another kid would probably not be considered bullying.

Where is the "line" between the two extremes?

If you are going to have a policy or a law prohibiting bullying, you have to have a standard where an authority can determine that

This is bullying.

That is not.

A very very hard issue to solve. :nope:

A bully is a lot like art. You know it when you see it, but it can be hard to define.

[GoldenRivet]

"Man up" is not what you tell a child to do when he complains about being bullied.

i can only envision one type of individual who would give such advise to a youngster :nope:

[Jimbuna]

Well, seeing as how examples are being posted.....heres mine.

About 13 years of age and my school teamed up with another local school and went on a weeks stay in log cabins at an area in the UK known as The Lake District.

This individual from the other school obviously took an instant dislike to me and started name calling in front of his peer group.

My peer group started questioning me and asking why I didn't retaliate.

I wasn't entirely honest in my response when I said I didn't like conflict because tbh, this guy frightened me.

After a few days and a steady escalation of his verbal bullying of me my peer group started asking me if I was a man or a mouse.

There are few things in a young persons life that are more traumatic than losing the respect of his peer group IMO.

You could say that was the final straw, so the next day I approached this guy in a well populated area of the camp to ensure there were witnesses and offered him a fight.....I can tell you the cheeks of my arse were chewing themselves to death LOL.

To my utter amazement the guy backed down saying he was only joking and he never bothered me again.....we have been friends ever since.

[GoldenRivet]

I recall being about 6 years old playing little league soccer (football to most of you)

most of the kids were there just to kick a ball around and not really understand the point of the game so much.

i recall one kid running along side of me and spitting into my face :nope:

i walked off the field in disgust, and my parents and a few other parents pulled their kids out of the league... i haven't played soccer since.

Another incident, in 7th grade I was one of the lucky ones to get hooked up with 4th period spanish. I would say that nearly every bully in the 7th grade had 4th period spanash just by pure happenstance.

so there i sat, nearly every day with the group verbally abusing me to no end. it was torture - but nothing worth hanging myself over obviously.

4th period spanish was the only class i made an out right "F" in.

some years later, in the 11th grade, the head bully of the group approached me i thought to myself "great... i thought by 11th grade we would outgrow this nonsense"

he walkes squarely up to me with a humble...

"Hey... listen, im sorry for the way i treated you back then... it wasnt cool and i was wondering if you would accept my apology."

the guy still looked like a meat head, smelled like a meat head, and dressed like a meat head... i smelled a trap.

i accepted his apology anyway and we went our separate ways. He never sent cross words in my direction again.

a young lady who was pretty much the queen of my middle school was pure evil to most of us folks who were not dropped off in front of the school in a porshce in the morning.

she would constantly ride me and my friends about everything from our parents cars, to our looks, to our choice in clothes etc etc.

she switched to another middle school abotu the same time i did... and we wound up going to the same high school a few years later.

her tune had soundly changed... she was nice to me and my friends, and even apologetic for her abuses.

appears the school she switched to - she was considered "low class" just as she had considered us "low class" - and she was teased daily.

after a dose of her own medicine.

"i cant imagine how it must have felt to deal with me every day... i feel very bad about it and im sorry."

now that im grown up - and with those two experiences - its easy for me to say to myself... "they were kids who were scared, or trying to fit in with their crowd or just trying to make themselves feel better by bullying others."

i have long since forgiven those who never apologized.

but i will always remember what it felt like... and any children i might some day have - they will know better than to contribute to bullying.

[AVGWarhawk]

To my utter amazement the guy backed down saying he was only joking and he never bothered me again.....we have been friends ever since.


Exactly, most will back down, however, those that don't and kick your arse look stupid to others in the school/peer group. A lot of times it can be a win/win situation for the target



I can tell you the cheeks of my arse were chewing themselves to death LOL.


That is just too funny. :har: