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View Full Version : Lady in red (racy joke)


GoldenRivet
03-27-09, 10:01 AM
warning - i cleaned it up the best i could :haha:

======================

A man walks into a bar and sees a beautiful lady in a red dress sitting at the bar a few stools down the way.

realizing the man's obvious interest, the lady in red walks over and sits next to him and whispers in his ear "I'll give you the best hand job you've ever had for $250."

the man says "$250!!?? you've lost your mind how do you justify such a price?"

the lady in red points out the window and says "see that Porsche sitting in the parking lot? its mine, and i purchased it in cash with hand job money... i promise its the best you will ever have."

so the man agrees and pays the money and gets the hand job and it is the best he has ever had.

the next day he comes in and sits next to the lady in red and after a few drinks he says to her "that hand job was pretty amazing... but what about a BJ?"

the lady in red says "sure thing, for $1,000."

the man says "what?! $1,000?! you're kidding right?"

the lady points out the window to the high rise apartments across the street and says "you see those high dollar high rise apartments across the street? i own those and i paid for them in cash with BJ money and i promise it will be the best you ever had!"

so reluctantly the man agrees and he gets his BJ and exchanges the money and leaves the bar fully satisfied.

so the third day the man comes back and sits next to the lady in red and has a few drinks. "Ok" he says "lets get down to business... how much for sex?"

so the lady in red points out the window and says ... "well you see the sky scraper buildings, the giant banks, ALL the high rise apartments of downtown around that beautiful park area and ALL the land beyond them as far as you can see to the horizon?"

"Yes" the man says excitedly

"well" says the lady... "once the sex change operation is completed i'll own all of that too!"

FIREWALL
03-27-09, 10:48 AM
:har: :har: :har:

Digital_Trucker
03-27-09, 11:21 AM
:hmmm::timeout::o:D:haha::har:

Iron Budokan
03-27-09, 11:28 AM
:har:

HunterICX
03-27-09, 11:55 AM
:haha:nice!

HunterICX

Kratos
03-27-09, 01:16 PM
http://img23.imageshack.us/img23/6441/laughv.gif reminds me of a weekend in Amsterdam, I met a gorgeous brunette on the corner of canal street and asked her if she was on her own and how much? ''50 euros she relpied'' 50 euros! thats why your on your own i told her. :O:

Jimbuna
03-27-09, 03:48 PM
http://imgcash3.imageshack.us/img152/9959/rollingaroundlaughingly2.gif

Frame57
03-27-09, 04:47 PM
:har::har::har:

Jimbuna
03-28-09, 07:56 AM
Got a text off my friend earlier, it read:

"Hey mate, I've found a local prostitute who charges by the inch. I can't afford her, but I thought it would be a cheap night out for you."

What a twunt!!
I've forwarded that to his wife.

sunvalleyslim
03-28-09, 08:13 PM
Got a text off my friend earlier, it read:

"Hey mate, I've found a local prostitute who charges by the inch. I can't afford her, but I thought it would be a cheap night out for you."

What a twunt!!
I've forwarded that to his wife.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::har::haha:

bookworm_020
03-29-09, 11:33 PM
Got a text off my friend earlier, it read:

"Hey mate, I've found a local prostitute who charges by the inch. I can't afford her, but I thought it would be a cheap night out for you."

What a twunt!!
I've forwarded that to his wife.

:o:o:o:o

So when's the divorce???

Jimbuna
03-30-09, 11:29 AM
:o:o:o:o

So when's the divorce???

After my divorce, I realised that poker isn't the only game that starts with holding hands and ends with a staggering financial loss. :DL