View Full Version : Female orgasm.
Spike88
03-03-09, 10:07 PM
Today, me and my girlfriend were watching some show about sex on the discovery channel. The topic of female orgasms came up and she said, "Wow, I wonder what that's like?" We've been dating and sexually active for three years.
breadcatcher101
03-03-09, 10:10 PM
Either she is a dizzy blonde or that was a personal shot at you. Funny, though.
rubenandthejets
03-03-09, 10:15 PM
Zing!
Monica Lewinsky
03-03-09, 10:30 PM
"Wow, I wonder what that's like?" We've been dating and sexually active for three years.
Maybe, she's not a morning person? , egh?
http://LearnAbit.HomeServer.com/lab/Notamorningperson.wmv
baggygreen
03-03-09, 10:49 PM
Come on spike, after the thread about 1894, you oughta know better!:O:
Spike88
03-03-09, 11:26 PM
Just to set the record straight. or slightly crooked,(kudos to all who know where that joke is from), this did not actually happen, at least not to me. Although she did send me the joke through msn. :P.
Overboard
03-03-09, 11:57 PM
What..No..Wait, You mean females have ORGASMS"? :D
Just to set the record straight. or slightly crooked,(kudos to all who know where that joke is from), this did not actually happen, at least not to me. Although she did send me the joke through msn. :P.
http://www.kmfdmsucks.net/ksa/ars_cliche/dr_evil_right.thumb.jpg
antikristuseke
03-04-09, 04:11 AM
Just to set the record straight. or slightly crooked,(kudos to all who know where that joke is from), this did not actually happen, at least not to me. Although she did send me the joke through msn. :P.
That's not what she told me after "Yes, yes, oh god, yes.";)
You mean like this. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDADTMqDDL8)
antikristuseke
03-04-09, 04:51 AM
At least she put in the effort to fake it.
Kapitan_Phillips
03-04-09, 05:23 AM
The trick isnt to make her orgasm, its having the nads to ask for a sandwich after.
UnderseaLcpl
03-04-09, 05:24 AM
Okay, one question; Have any guys here ever faked an orgasm or is that totally limited to girls?
P.S. this is strictly concerning heterosexual relationships, you bastards:DL
baggygreen
03-04-09, 05:54 AM
Guilty.
A real minga, who had just beaten her brother with a vaccuum. too scared to say no!
antikristuseke
03-04-09, 06:17 AM
Guilty, due to exessive alcohol.
I can't believe no-one has posted this old chestnut:
"How do you make a woman orgasm?
Who cares?:arrgh!:
Jimbuna
03-04-09, 06:45 AM
This bloke in the pub last night was boasting that when he orgasms, he ejaculates up to a pint of semen at a time.
I found that a bit hard to swallow.
:D
Today, me and my girlfriend were watching some show about sex on the discovery channel.
Sligtly OT, but there was this show about life of the elderly ppl and their sexlife this morning... never has my morning wood disappeared so quickly. :o
Platapus
03-04-09, 07:31 AM
Today, me and my girlfriend were watching some show about sex on the discovery channel. The topic of female orgasms came up and she said, "Wow, I wonder what that's like?" We've been dating and sexually active for three years.
You should have told her that "it" only happens after she cleans the house and fixes dinner.
<rimshot>
:D
never has my morning wood disappeared so quickly. :o
So far... :yep:
Aramike
03-04-09, 12:30 PM
The trick isnt to make her orgasm, its having the nads to ask for a sandwich after."Lois, less talkey, more fetchy". :|\\
Etienne
03-04-09, 01:52 PM
The trick isnt to make her orgasm, its having the nads to ask for a sandwich after.
If your girl refuses to do anything for you after sex - especially something as trivial as a sandwich - you haven't been doing it right.
Of course, it is more polite to wait until she stops shaking and / or regain consciousness.
antikristuseke
03-04-09, 02:07 PM
Of course, it is more polite to wait until she stops shaking and / or regain consciousness.
I thought I was the only one who actualy use "Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?" as a pickup line.
Of course, it is more polite to wait until she stops shaking and / or regain consciousness.
I thought I was the only one who actualy use "Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?" as a pickup line.
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
d@rk51d3
03-04-09, 03:25 PM
Of course, it is more polite to wait until she stops shaking and / or regain consciousness.
I thought I was the only one who actualy use "Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?" as a pickup line.
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
x2
:haha: :har:
geetrue
03-04-09, 04:14 PM
Okay, one question; Have any guys here ever faked an orgasm or is that totally limited to girls?
P.S. this is strictly concerning heterosexual relationships, you bastards:DL
You can fake having a good time ... but its almost impossible to fake the wet spot :salute:
Falkirion
03-04-09, 05:08 PM
This bloke in the pub last night was boasting that when he orgasms, he ejaculates up to a pint of semen at a time.
I found that a bit hard to swallow.
:D
That's what she said!
Couldnt resist sorry
baggygreen
03-04-09, 07:45 PM
Okay, one question; Have any guys here ever faked an orgasm or is that totally limited to girls?
P.S. this is strictly concerning heterosexual relationships, you bastards:DL
You can fake having a good time ... but its almost impossible to fake the wet spot :salute:Easier when playing things safe though :yeah:
Platapus
03-05-09, 05:27 PM
The trick isnt to make her orgasm, its having the nads to ask for a sandwich after.
If your girl refuses to do anything for you after sex - especially something as trivial as a sandwich - you haven't been doing it right.
Of course, it is more polite to wait until she stops shaking and / or regain consciousness.
Or untie her.
Frame57
03-05-09, 05:43 PM
Do not tell any muslims about this because they will make their women have clitorectomies....OUCH!
geetrue
03-05-09, 06:20 PM
Do not tell any muslims about this because they will make their women have clitorectomies....OUCH!
Speaking of Muslims ... Did you know that all Muslim women are required by law to shave their pubis area?
How do I know this?
I was doing a normal rotation of shore patrol duty for my boat the USS Ethan Allen SSBN 608 blue crew in Rota, Spain back in the 70's when I walked into a popular bar and low and behold there's my Chief sonar supervisor Chief Ostroski.
He saw me and told me to come over to the bar where he was sitting that he wanted to show me something. I slowly left my other partner doing shore patrol that evening and moved closer to his side.
Chief Ski picks up some change off the bar and moves it over towards the casually perched bar hostess from the North African country of Morocco. She was of course a Muslim on a circuit of bars that get moved around from country to country on a contract.
Anyway the chief says, "Hey take my picture" She comes over to the bar with her stool ... picks up the change and lifts her skirt and puts one leg on the bar showing her clean shaved pus**y.
Me and the other shore patrolman had to get out of there before we got into trouble, but I'll never forget it. Later I heard it was a Muslim law.
Not a story you'll hear on CNN of course. Now you know why their men practice bowing down seven times a day :woot:
Frame57
03-05-09, 10:34 PM
Do not tell any muslims about this because they will make their women have clitorectomies....OUCH!
Speaking of Muslims ... Did you know that all Muslim women are required by law to shave their pubis area?
How do I know this?
I was doing a normal rotation of shore patrol duty for my boat the USS Ethan Allen SSBN 608 blue crew in Rota, Spain back in the 70's when I walked into a popular bar and low and behold there's my Chief sonar supervisor Chief Ostroski.
He saw me and told me to come over to the bar where he was sitting that he wanted to show me something. I slowly left my other partner doing shore patrol that evening and moved closer to his side.
Chief Ski picks up some change off the bar and moves it over towards the casually perched bar hostess from the North African country of Morocco. She was of course a Muslim on a circuit of bars that get moved around from country to country on a contract.
Anyway the chief says, "Hey take my picture" She comes over to the bar with her stool ... picks up the change and lifts her skirt and puts one leg on the bar showing her clean shaved pus**y.
Me and the other shore patrolman had to get out of there before we got into trouble, but I'll never forget it. Later I heard it was a Muslim law.
Not a story you'll hear on CNN of course. Now you know why their men practice bowing down seven times a day :woot::arrgh!: Interesting. I always figured they would be au natural...
Jimbuna
03-06-09, 04:27 AM
Do not tell any muslims about this because they will make their women have clitorectomies....OUCH!
Speaking of Muslims ... Did you know that all Muslim women are required by law to shave their pubis area?
How do I know this?
I was doing a normal rotation of shore patrol duty for my boat the USS Ethan Allen SSBN 608 blue crew in Rota, Spain back in the 70's when I walked into a popular bar and low and behold there's my Chief sonar supervisor Chief Ostroski.
He saw me and told me to come over to the bar where he was sitting that he wanted to show me something. I slowly left my other partner doing shore patrol that evening and moved closer to his side.
Chief Ski picks up some change off the bar and moves it over towards the casually perched bar hostess from the North African country of Morocco. She was of course a Muslim on a circuit of bars that get moved around from country to country on a contract.
Anyway the chief says, "Hey take my picture" She comes over to the bar with her stool ... picks up the change and lifts her skirt and puts one leg on the bar showing her clean shaved pus**y.
Me and the other shore patrolman had to get out of there before we got into trouble, but I'll never forget it. Later I heard it was a Muslim law.
Not a story you'll hear on CNN of course. Now you know why their men practice bowing down seven times a day :woot:
Not much of a demand for tooth picks over there then :hmmm:
OneToughHerring
03-06-09, 04:32 AM
Do not tell any muslims about this because they will make their women have clitorectomies....OUCH!
Actually they don't but be my guest and go on believing it.
Frame57
03-06-09, 01:42 PM
Do not tell any muslims about this because they will make their women have clitorectomies....OUCH!
Actually they don't but be my guest and go on believing it.Well, seeing as you have made yourself the hall monitor here. Thanks for your permission on what I can believe. I really appreciate it, because I would be lost without your insight. But, yes indeed clitorectomies are practiced by our Muslim friends on occaision, for what purpose, I have no idea. Other than more of their sick twisted belief system at work.
Etienne
03-06-09, 02:03 PM
And it's now proven : There is not a single topic on the GT forum that will not end in an argument about the muslim faith.
Awesome.
Platapus
03-06-09, 02:47 PM
And it's now proven : There is not a single topic on the GT forum that will not end in an argument about the muslim faith.
Awesome.
And it does not take long huh? :nope:
Etienne
03-06-09, 02:53 PM
And it's now proven : There is not a single topic on the GT forum that will not end in an argument about the muslim faith.
Awesome.
And it does not take long huh? :nope:
Heh, could've been worst. (http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=148354)
OneToughHerring
03-06-09, 06:12 PM
Do not tell any muslims about this because they will make their women have clitorectomies....OUCH!
Actually they don't but be my guest and go on believing it.Well, seeing as you have made yourself the hall monitor here. Thanks for your permission on what I can believe. I really appreciate it, because I would be lost without your insight. But, yes indeed clitorectomies are practiced by our Muslim friends on occaision, for what purpose, I have no idea. Other than more of their sick twisted belief system at work.
It's practiced in some parts of Africa due to being a part of local, unpleasant, customs. It's also performed in some areas where Christianity is prevalent. Muslim scholars have gone as far as banning it in relation to Islam. I'm not aware of Christianity banning it.
Frame57
03-06-09, 07:14 PM
Maybe you are confusing circumcision. The male genitalia does not have a clit...:yep:
antikristuseke
03-06-09, 07:35 PM
Nope, he is not confusing it, both are practiced in Africa due to various religious and other reasons.
Frame57
03-06-09, 07:40 PM
I understand the practice and history of circumcision, it has its roots in Judaism. But there is no doctrinal practice in Judaism nor Christianity regarding a clitorectomy. Which is a far more invasive proceedure than the former and can only be so that women cannot enjoy sex.
Jimbuna
03-07-09, 05:07 AM
I phoned up the clinic the other day to enquire about circumcision.....I got cut off.:doh:
Frame57
03-07-09, 01:32 PM
:har: :har: :har:
OneToughHerring
03-07-09, 01:32 PM
Maybe you are confusing circumcision. The male genitalia does not have a clit...:yep:
As antikristuseke wrote, it's a local custom. Female genital cutting (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_genital_cutting) is the entry for it in Wikipedia.
I phoned up the clinic the other day to enquire about circumcision.....I got cut off.:doh:
:nope: :doh: :haha: :har: :har: :har: :rotfl:
Do you have a book on your desk with these in or something Jim? :shucks:
I remember hearing a lyric years ago :
"He makes love like a footballer...........he dribbles before he shoots"
Jimbuna
03-07-09, 04:24 PM
I phoned up the clinic the other day to enquire about circumcision.....I got cut off.:doh:
:nope: :doh: :haha: :har: :har: :har: :rotfl:
Do you have a book on your desk with these in or something Jim? :shucks:
I just make them up as I go along http://imgcash3.imageshack.us/img524/1262/pinocchioij9.gif
A man enters the hospital for a circumcision. When he comes to after the procedure, he's perturbed to see several doctors standing around his bed.
"Son, there's been a bit of a mix-up," admits the surgeon. "I'm afraid there was an accident, and we were forced to perform a sex-change operation. You now have a vagina instead of a penis."
"What?" gasps the patient. "You mean I'll never experience another erection?"
"Oh, you might," the surgeon reassures him. "Just not yours."
Two little children are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room---the first surgeries of the day.
The first child leans over and asks, 'What are you in here for?'
The second child says, 'I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous.'
The first child says, 'You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jelly and Ice Cream. It's a breeze.'
The second child then asks, 'What are you here for?'
The first child says, 'A circumcision.'
'Whoa!' the second child replies. 'Good luck, man. I had that done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year.'
Did you hear about the baby who was born with no eyelids, and the doctors had to take his foreskin from his circumcision and make eyelids for him?
The kid is going to be alright, he's just going to be a little cock-eyed!
:DL
I remember hearing a lyric years ago :
"He makes love like a footballer...........he dribbles before he shoots"
What kind of football dribbles before taking a shot? Did you mean basketball?
A Very Super Market
03-07-09, 06:31 PM
Bah, Americans...
antikristuseke
03-07-09, 06:48 PM
I remember hearing a lyric years ago :
"He makes love like a footballer...........he dribbles before he shoots"
What kind of football dribbles before taking a shot? Did you mean basketball?
I think he was talking about football, not handegg.:D
I think he was talking about football
Which one? Girly man spotted ball or British field brawling? :O:
antikristuseke
03-07-09, 10:33 PM
Heh, if we take this any further we will both come out loosing, lets call this a draw.:salute:
Heh, if we take this any further we will both come out loosing, lets call this a draw.:salute:
Agreed. But I was genuinely interested in what he meant by dribbling before taking a shot (i assume on goal).
The only sports related use of that term that i know of refers to basketball. How does it apply to European football?
A Very Super Market
03-08-09, 12:29 AM
I've heard the term used at school, but Canada probably doesn't count.
Anyways, it is just lightly kicking the ball in front of you, moving it. Actually, quite similar to basketball dribbling.
I've heard the term used at school, but Canada probably doesn't count.
Anyways, it is just lightly kicking the ball in front of you, moving it. Actually, quite similar to basketball dribbling.
Ahh thanks!
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