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Jimbuna
03-01-09, 02:22 PM
The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy indian war party.
The indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In honor of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days. But, before I kill you, I will grant you three requests. What is your first request?"
The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."
The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who whispers in Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away.
Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back.
As the indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's Tent and spends the night.
The next morning the indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have very fine and loyal horse, but I will still kill you in two days. What is your second request?"
The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.
As before, Silver takes off across the plains and disappears over the horizon. Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a brunette, even more attractive than the blonde.
She enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night. The following morning the indian Chief is again impressed. "You are indeed a man of many talents, but I still kill you tomorrow.
"What is your last request?"
The Lone Ranger responds," I'd like to speak to my horse....ALONE."
The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.
Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says:
"Listen very carefully, you dickhead, for the last time.......... . BRING POSSE!!!!"

A Very Super Market
03-01-09, 02:30 PM
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Where are these coming from?

Jimbuna
03-01-09, 02:59 PM
That one was told to me by my friend The Lone Ranger :03:

Morts
03-01-09, 03:08 PM
dont get it

Jimbuna
03-01-09, 03:26 PM
Then your too young :DL

I thought you liked cats :hmmm:

A Very Super Market
03-01-09, 03:28 PM
Well, he's Danish?

I dunno, but I got it.

Frame57
03-02-09, 11:08 AM
:har: :har:

bookworm_020
03-03-09, 12:40 AM
:haha::haha::haha:

Before my time, but I still got it!

U-84
03-03-09, 08:51 AM
:har: haha:haha: , that was a pretty good one jimbuna

rubenandthejets
03-03-09, 09:37 AM
What's the closest thing to silver?

The Lone Ranger's butt.

Platapus
03-03-09, 06:22 PM
What's the closest thing to silver?

The Lone Ranger's butt.

Actually that would be the Saddle blanket but that answer is not as funny I guess :oops:
:D

Overboard
03-04-09, 02:23 AM
I like it" Very Funny Thanks, :har: I needed that.

Jimbuna
03-04-09, 06:38 AM
The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding into town when they come across the local tavern, The Lone Ranger suggests they pop in for a beer, so they go in, walk up to the bar and ask for 2 pints, to which the landlord replies "Sorry but we don't allow Apaches in here", undeterred by this, the Lone Ranger asks Tonto if he'd mind waiting outside while he has a quick beer. Tonto being the friend he is agrees and stands outside with their horses. The Lone Ranger is having his beer, chatting away and gets bought another beer, knowing Tonto is outside he reluctantly accepts it and tries to drink it as quick as he can. Outside Tonto is starting to feel the cold and decides to start jogging round in circles to keep warm. By this time, The Lone Ranger is on his fourth beer when a cowboy walks in and shouts "Is there someone in here called the Lone Ranger?", The Lone Ranger raises his hand and the cowboy says "you've left your injun running".

bookworm_020
03-05-09, 06:05 AM
:haha::haha::haha::haha:

Nice!

I told my wife the first joke and she got a laugh out of it!:up:

Jimbuna
03-05-09, 01:59 PM
:haha::haha::haha::haha:

Nice!

I told my wife the first joke and she got a laugh out of it!:up:

Can you ask her if she wouldn't mind explaining it to Morts :DL

longam
03-05-09, 02:05 PM
:haha: At both jokes.....

bookworm_020
03-06-09, 05:06 AM
:haha::haha::haha::haha:

Nice!

I told my wife the first joke and she got a laugh out of it!:up:
Can you ask her if she wouldn't mind explaining it to Morts :DL

I would but she's asleep!:zzz:

Jimbuna
03-14-09, 01:28 PM
The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto woke the Lone Ranger and said, "Kemo Sabe, look at sky. What you see?"

The Lone Ranger replied, "I see millions of stars."

"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger pondered for a minute said, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be about a quarter past three in the morning. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?"

"You dumber than buffalo patties. It means someone stole the tent!"