Noob errors

[mmm...Dönitz]

Thought it might be a giggle sharing anecdotes about howlers you made while you were a trainee Kaleun. Here's my best so far.

1) Forgetting what zoom my periscope was on and running smack bang into the side of a ship while watching it sink.
2) Setting up a perfect shot only to forget that I was firing from tube 5. Those eels don't make 180degree turns very well :)
3) Running into the bottom while at 50meters on 32x TC.

[Sailor Steve]

Back in 2005, when the game was new, I was doing the gunnery training for about the fifth time (I keep starting over when new mods are released). I was shooting at a merchant from about 300 meters when he exploded, killing my entire bridge crew.

Shortest career ever.

[polynike]

Sailing into the quayside wall in Kiel (repeatedly)

[Piggy]

I did a major booboo this weekend, apparently I dont learn from my mistakes...

Note to self: Back up careers after every night of playing. (second time Ive said this to myself)

I had been having a few wobbly pops when I fired up SH3 the other night, I was a little pre-occupied talking to my wife when I selected my long running career, this would have been my 21st patrol, mid 43 except that I hit "new career" instead of "saved career"

A months worth of work gone!!!

:cry: :cry: :cry: :damn:

[Penelope_Grey]

The best one for me was when I was at 256 TC and I hit the D key... needless to say it dived and never resurfaced.:haha:

[kranz]

yesterday I forgot how to use wheel for AOB, I was approaching medium cargo from her starboard but while seeking for AOB at the wheel I always got backboard value. After 1 hour I figured out that I forgot the basic formula for "real" AOB:damn:

[nikbear]

After one to many beers told a friend of mine"thiiiis gammme's Bloody bbrrilliant,I'll fire it up and youuuuo can see"and he did,as I died rapidly after forgetting its quite shallow round the UK:har: Never again:woot:

[Platapus]

My classic nub mistake:

Setting up the perfect approach (O'Kane set up)

ID target - confirmed ID!

Get range - repeated range calculations match up!

Calculate speed - multiple calculations always the same!

Soon to be doomed ship fat dumb and happy on course going to pass from my port side to my starboard side.

Set AoB to read Port 80

Open doors, wait for juicy parts to pass hairline

Torpedos LOS!

Missed! :damn: :wah:
:oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:

AoB should match the side of the ship you are looking at. :know:

Wish I had a Deuchmark for every time I made that mistake. :know:

[Laufen zum Ziel]

"Nikbear
After one to many beers told a friend of mine"thiiiis gammme's Bloody bbrrilliant,I'll fire it up and youuuuo can see"and he did,as I died rapidly after forgetting its quite shallow round the UK:har: Never again:woot:


What, no Death Card? We need to honor our fallen.:shifty:

[A Very Super Market]

A daring night surface raid... ruined when I physically hit the juicy tanker I was trying to light up! ><

[bgey]

Attacking the Hood, selecting a salvo and forgetting the spread angle... 2 torps passed in front of her and 2 behind... :damn:

The entire task force sailed along happily, totally unaware that the only thing between them and Davy Jones' Locker was the IQ of a silly kaleun... :88)

Did this many times but this was the only time the neighbours could hear my head banging on my desk... :D

Benny

[coronas]

Everytime I sail, must repeat: port is left, starboard is right! :har:

[sharkbit]

Sailing into the quayside wall in Kiel (repeatedly)

Did the same thing in Wilhelmshaven at high TC.

"WTF....Why am I getting damage reports?!?!?"
Pause....Zoom.
"Oh." :oops: :oops: :oops:

Pre-GWX:
Bernard leaned against the torpedo launch control("ENTER" key) by mistake while cruising thru the North Sea and launched an eel against the fishies.
Thankfully, GWX put a guard over the switch ("CTRL+ENTER") to prevent a reoccurence.

My latest:
Had some damage and minor flooding. I got clear and surfaced. Stopped the boat and put her with decks awash to load some external torpedoes (just a little something I do for realism sake) and hit the TC to speed up the process a little. The flooding was enough to pull me down off the surface. Next thing I know, I'm in the control room with the depth gauge winding around the dial. :o
I can't remember where it was when I got it under control and was able to blow tanks and get back up to the surface. :sunny:

[Jay]

I've been playing SH3 for a long time, but still make "noobie" mistakes. Here's the latest.

It's November, 1941; south of Ireland. My sonarman detects two ships, so I set an intercept course. It's night time, and I'm surfaced. The first vessel (lit up like the proverbial X-mas tree) is a hospital ship. Honour forbids attacking it.

I turn my attention to the second ship, a small ocean liner, suspiciously running without lights. Anticipating that the liner may be a legitimate target, I click on the "surface attack" button, and immediately switch to the weapons officer's station. To my surprise, I hear the sound of gun fire. :o I go to the bridge and discover that my gunner is shooting at the hospital ship! Before I can order "hold fire", the hospital ship has been hit twice. :wah: My goof here was twofold. First, I forgot that when sea conditions permit, the surface attack command orders the deck gun to be manned. Second (and more critically), earlier in this mission, I had given the gunner the "fire at will" order, and forgot to change it.

To make matters worse, the attack on the hospital ship alerted the ocean liner, and it began to fire at me. In response to this hostile action, my adrenaline kicked in. I went to periscope depth, and launched two torpedoes. Both hit. As the liner began to sink, I calmed down and took the time to look at its flag. Another goof: it's American, and the US is still officially neutral. :oops:

I'm embarrassed to admit that this was the second neutral ship I managed to sink on this patrol (the first was part of a large convoy which I had attacked at night). My renown for this mission was -54. What will my fellow kaleuns be saying about me at the Nightclub?

[Lzs von swe]

Mistakes? I don´t do mistakes, it´s always Bernards fault:woot:

OK, OK, some may be my fault, or many of them:hmmm:

Attacking a convoy by the Rockalls. Pressing on the attack. Swing the scope around and here comes a Flower from our 6. ALLAARM, crash dive and, CLANK...
We planted our bow firmly into the Rockalls, our stern pointing to the sky.
Now, if that Flower did not already have our pos she did now. Reversing on full tilt and blowing ballast did nothing. I then ordered silent running, as if that would help now:O: Did not:dead:

Note to self: Keep track of your possition at all times. Do not follow your targets up on the shallows, and it is shallow on parts of the Rockalls.

[kuchciol]

I remember getting a message from the BdU saying that it's ok to sink neutrals in the North Sea if they are armed. I think it was still in '39. Little did I know that it was the "immersion thing". A day later, lo and behold, I met a Dutch ship, sitting quietly, 0 speed, lotsa guns. Sent it down with a pretty hit. After I came home from what woul;d have been a nice patrol I noticed I got a huge renown hit. And ship's been counted as a neutral. Freakin' Adolf got me screwed again.
I consider it a noob mistake, and the lesson learned is: forget the BdU messages, do your stuff.

[papa_smurf]

First time I played the game, I was at St Nazaire and set for all ahead full, only to crash into the sea wall and promptly sunk:damn:

[Schroeder]

When I was new to SH 3 I took my first Type VIIB out of Wilhelmshaven. About 200km out of port I wanted to try to crash dive to determine how long it would take to submerge.... well.... the waters around there aren't that deep... (I actually managed to hit the bottom of the sea at least once every patrol for my first three or four patrols:damn: )

[Puster Bill]

Wish I had a Deuchmark for every time I made that mistake. :know:

Ditto here.

I now prevent that mistake by physically rotating my body to the orientation of the target ship and wiggling the hand closest to my sub.

Sound stupid? It is, but it is less stupid than firing a full salvo at a nice fat battleship or aircraft carrier and seeing all the torpedoes head well aft...

[Robert Fulton]

...

Note to self: Keep track of your possition at all times. Do not follow your targets up on the shallows, and it is shallow on parts of the Rockalls.


It would be nice if we could order the Navigator to read out depth under keel at regular intervals in the same way we can order the sonar man to read out bearings.

[magicsub2]

mine is acting cool and staying under a ship while it sank, it took me to the UNDERWORLD (the place under the ocean) i was flooding and i could not have surfaced if i wanted to.

[mmm...Dönitz]

I've often thought this too. I'm ot sure how things really worked on a U-boat, but I would have thought that the person controlling the depth would have an idea of the depth of the surrounding water at least from charts, and would be able to warm his Kaleun if things were getting a bit shallow.

[Sailor Steve]

In certain areas (around well-known and well-charted coastal areas) the actual depths were, well, known. The problem is that a submerged submarine has no way of knowing exactly where it is, and the only way to test the depth is to use the echelot, or depth-sounder. This was a form of active sonar, and anybody listening in the area could hear it. If the water was shoaling (getting shallower) they would have no way of knowing but by guessing. On the other hand, scraping the bottom wasn't usually problematic as long as there weren't too many large rocks.

[gordonmull]

It was the end of an early war successful mission sailing back through the gap between Shetland and Orkney and the weather turned calm then it was deck gun heaven! The pattern was "Schiffe gesichtet!", "Wahrsinniger fahrt voraus", TC x32 till close, "Feuer frei"

Anyway, the tonnage was racking up fast and I was loving it. Lots of shiny medals for the crew.

The last ship I spotted on that patrol I prosecuted in the same way. Only to hear "Das boot is beschadicht Herr Kaleun!"

WTF?!?!?

I raced to the bridge only to see a DD bearing down on me guns ablaze.

ALARM!!!!!

ping ping ping....

Boom boom boom

:dead:

Stare at death screen in disbelief. Make mental note not to race towards unidentified ships at flank on high TC assuming them to be merchants.

[Jazer]

I love ramming my own escort leaving Wilhelmshaven:salute:

[RegioSommergibile]

I love ramming my own escort leaving Wilhelmshaven:salute:


I did this but not intentionally, I believe that those sailors on board were not happy at all to see me running into them at 10 knots!!! Luckily, no damage for anybody.

Another thing I did was the following: try to torpedo an Elco. I did this three times in three patrols, wasting a total of 5 torpedoes. Only one of those torpedoes hit, and at least I had the gratifying scene of a mangificent flying Elco Torpedoboat.

("Engage STOL Rockets!!!" "Aye Aye, sir!" ZOOOM :rock:)

Mental note to self: it's a waste of time to torpedo Elcos.

In exasperation I attacked once one of those with the cannon: I left it burning and shooting at me, showing an unsuspected degree of resilience (what were they made of, 50 cm steel plates?), however in the meantime al my crew using the cannon was severely wounded or dying.

Note to self n° 2: By all means leave those Elcos alone under all circumstances.

[ralphnader23]

Sinking a hospital ship (this ended my shoot first, check flag later policy). On the bright side I learned enough to avoid accidentally sinking a German ship last night, that I was targeting because I saw some red on the flag when I first spotted it.

Thinking that the destroyers in the convoy wouldn't notice me if I surfaced and came up behind the convoy at flank, just because it was very dark.:dead:

Running into the bottom (oooohhh...that's what the lighter blue on the map means).

Hitting a small freighter with one torpedo (not a bad idea). Surfacing to use my deck gun when it doesn't sink after 30+ minutes (not a bad idea). Deciding to go 1v1 with it when it starts to open fire on me (my gun is bigger right?) (bad idea). I guess those merchants must have been some old WWI vets or something, because U-108 is at the bottom now. :dead:

Not firing your eels as quickly as possible and then crash diving when spotted by the destroyers. I used to try and hang around the surface and popup somewhere else. (bad idea) :dead::dead::dead::dead::dead:

[Herr-Berbunch]

A nice thread to reopen! :DL

I think the one that gets us all is definately leaving port for the first couple of times:

"Ahead Standard"

Map Room, start plotting, external view to watch the band and any other ships in port to size them up... :salute:

We'll turn soon..., any moment..., why is the Nav not following the course... aaaargh shiiiiiiiiiiii...! (No, it's not Silent Hunter 12)

"We're taking damage, Sir"

Nav, Reports, Return to plotted course!

"Returning to plotted course"

Which by now also takes you through another obsticle :damn:

Thank goodness for SH3Commander's start patrol at sea! :yeah:

[maillemaker]

My most common mistake is not checking my spread angle on salvo shots.

[Brer Rabbit]

Enroute to Blecher for refueling and rearming I came across a tramp steamer. I manned the guns and quickly sank the steamer and continues my course to Bleucher. Unfortunately I forgot to unman the guns, and as we approached Bleacher my gun crew opened highly effective fire setting Blecher on fire.

Fortunately the fire did not prevent me from resupply and I beat feet away as fast as I could.

On a similar note while heading for the North Atlantic, sonar detected a ship and I decided to attack on the surface as it was night and early in the war. I manned the guns and made my aproach at about 3000 meters the gun crew began firing, quickly setting the ship on fire. In the light of the fire I could just make out the German Flag. I immediately returned to course, brough the gun crew below decks and sped away at flank spped and I apparently made it beyond the range necessat to get credit/blame for sinking -- if it had indeed sunk.:smug:

[frau kaleun]

Enroute to Blecher for refueling and rearming I came across a tramp steamer. I manned the guns and quickly sank the steamer and continues my course to Bleucher. Unfortunately I forgot to unman the guns, and as we approached Bleacher my gun crew opened highly effective fire setting Blecher on fire.

I'm sure I remember a post on another thread where someone recounted a patrol where they were going to rendezvous with a German tanker for refueling at sea (not in some friendly or neutral port). While patrolling the appropriate area in anticipation of the supply ship, they sighted a tanker coming into range that appeared to be flying the red British ensign, and sank it. Then continued to cruise around looking for that German tanker they were supposed to be meeting, which really ought to have been around there somewhere... only to realize that it wasn't a Union Jack they'd seen up in the corner of that "British" tanker's flag but the, er, swastika of a German flag. On a German tanker. That was waiting to refuel them. Oopsie!

Am I imagining things or did I really read that? Can't remember who posted it.

I have never left my gun crew on duty by accident and had them start firing on a friendly, but I have ordered the guns manned, finished off a big-a$$ merchant, gone back to the nav map with a grand feeling of accomplishment, then returned to the bridge several hours later to find my WO keeping watch alone in the tower in a vicious storm while the rest of the lads are still dutifully manning the gun, to which they are now hanging on for dear life because they're spending three minutes out of every four underwater.

Still my favorite, from my first few forays into plotting a course on the nav map: not realizing that a coastline that looks like a relatively straight line at one magnification will actually turn out to have lots of little jagged bits that jut out into the water once you zoom in close enough to see them. And then plotting a course along said coastline at minimal magnification that does not take into account all those little jagged bits, which become even easier to see when you are running aground on one at full ahead.

Also: painstakingly navigating my boat all the way back up into the pen from which I started my patrol, even turning her around and backing her in, and then sitting there waiting for the game to say "Mission Complete" or some such, then moving the boat back out and into the pen, trying to "hit the magic spot" that will tell the game that, like MacArthur, I have returned. Then getting frustrated and wondering WHY WON'T THIS STUPID GAME ACKNOWLEDGE THAT I HAVE DOCKED MY BOAT, WTF?

All because I've forgotten that there is no "magic spot" and I need to hit Esc to end the patrol. :88)

[Sailor Steve]

Am I imagining things or did I really read that? Can't remember who posted it.
You're imagining things. :O:

I remember reading it too, and not so long ago, but I also can't remember who it was.

[sergei]

Yep, I remember that story. I damn near laughed myself to death. :DL

Here it is for anyone who missed it
http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showpost.php?p=1066864&postcount=5

[Jimbuna]

Yep, I remember that story. I damn near laughed myself to death. :DL

Here it is for anyone who missed it
http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showpost.php?p=1066864&postcount=5

Location: Ireland....say no more :O:

[CherryHarbey]

I have made many mistakes but worst series of mistakes was..

1st patrol out of Kiel before the war had even started.
Asked Nav to plot course through Kiel canal
Set ahead standard
go to kitchen to make cup of tea
return to find that because I had not told the Nav to follow the plotted course the boat had just ran straight out until it hit the land opposite
boat damaged beyond repair and I died despite being a stone's throw from the shore.

like to think I survived to be shot for gross mis-conduct

[Sailor Steve]

:rotfl2::rock:

They don't shoot you for that kind of thing, though. There are always uses for a captain of your talents. Garbage scows need kaleuns too. :D

[U777]

1. Forgot to move the watch officer from the forward bunks to the tower.

2. Tried to sink a torpedo boat with the deck gun.

3. Forgot to set the torpedo crew to load automatically, discovered the error when trying to sink a freighter and found all my tubes to be empty thus requiring a 180 to use one of the stern tubes.

[Jimbuna]

I have made many mistakes but worst series of mistakes was..

1st patrol out of Kiel before the war had even started.
Asked Nav to plot course through Kiel canal
Set ahead standard
go to kitchen to make cup of tea
return to find that because I had not told the Nav to follow the plotted course the boat had just ran straight out until it hit the land opposite
boat damaged beyond repair and I died despite being a stone's throw from the shore.

like to think I survived to be shot for gross mis-conduct

Done that more times than I care to admit http://www.psionguild.org/forums/images/smilies/wolfsmilies/wacko.gif

[CherryHarbey]

1. Forgot to move the watch officer from the forward bunks to the tower.

2. Tried to sink a torpedo boat with the deck gun.

3. Forgot to set the torpedo crew to load automatically, discovered the error when trying to sink a freighter and found all my tubes to be empty thus requiring a 180 to use one of the stern tubes.

That watch officer is the laziest man on the boat, pretty soon, kicking him out of his bunk every time you surface is one of the things you do without realising you are doing it.

[Arctic wolf]

I was starting my second patrol from Kiel. In free cam mode, moving around admiring my new emblem while my boat's slowly moving forward at 4/5 knots. Suddenly I press "p" (didn't really know what it did back then). Before I know it I get screeching noises from my boat and my crew trying to raise hell with damage reports all around. :o

Ohhh so it dives to periscope depth with "p"? Lesson learnt at the cost of 45 lives.

[Gerald]

I was starting my second patrol from Kiel. In free cam mode, moving around admiring my new emblem while my boat's slowly moving forward at 4/5 knots. Suddenly I press "p" (didn't really know what it did back then). Before I know it I get screeching noises from my boat and my crew trying to raise hell with damage reports all around. :o

Ohhh so it dives to periscope depth with "p"? Lesson learnt at the cost of 45 lives.

:hmm2:

[sharkbit]

That watch officer is the laziest man on the boat, pretty soon, kicking him out of his bunk every time you surface is one of the things you do without realising you are doing it.

Mod of the Year to the modder who can fix that. I assume it is a hard code thing though or it would have been done.

....pretty soon, kicking him out of his bunk every time you surface is one of the things you do without realising you are doing it.

It does become second nature after a while.

:)

[frau kaleun]

Mod of the Year to the modder who can fix that. I assume it is a hard code thing though or it would have been done.

It does become second nature after a while.

:)

Yep, it just becomes part of the routine. I give the order to surface the boat, then hang out in the crew management screen until the rest of the watch appears up in the tower, then drag the lazy WO up there with them. My hands and fingers have pretty much memorized the process at this point.

[K-61]

I remember chasing a ship one night forever, after I decided to do the hydrophone job myself. I kept detecting a contact at my 160 to 180 bearing, but couldn't find it. Then it hit me, I was like a dog chasing its own tail. The "contact" I was hearing was the sound of my own screws. A few here have also made another one of my rookie mistakes, colliding with my target, or being too close to it while using the deck gun and being hit by flying debris. Crash dives while under time compression is another famous one.

My all time biggest boo boo was a patrol off the coast of Norway, where I sank well over a dozen ships, came back to port and found that all of my victories were neutral Norwegians!

[OSU]

I tried to get into Scapa Flow in my IX-B in the middle of the day once. What a dumb mistake. :damn:

Another one was when I tried to shoot down a British plane near Gibraltar. Lost seven crew members including my watch officer. Great man, i had him promoted and decorated and qualified and everything. Limped into the Thalia in Spain to fix my boat and get new crew. Returned to Lorient afterwards without sinking a ship. Ended my career in disgust after that. Then started a new one with a shiny new VII-B at the beginning of the war. I love that boat!

A word of the wise (or not so wise) to all the other noobs like me out there: when you see a plane, DIVE. Trying to duke it out with them on the surface is not smart at all. Just crash and get the hell out of there.

[Flaxpants]

Making the mistake of not turning off silent rinning whilst the boat is flooding, hence the repairs aren't being carried out. I discovered this not so long ago- it's changed my life!:woot:

[Arctic wolf]

:hmm2:

Lol I think only my bridge was visible so I could admire my emblem better. And also I think it was the 7th flotilla base, the shallow one. :damn: I kinda love going into free cam mode and looking at my boat from underwater. It's lovely. :yep:

[Tolkemec]

And what about spending 3 hours real time making an approach to get to 500 meters of a juicy merchant, carefully preparing the perfect solution for a one torpedo kill (because of course I have only one torpedo left), putting the mouse in the fire button waiting for the right time... the right time, the right time...

...

And then just forgeting where the cursor is, and thinking it is in the periscope lens, pushing it to rotate the periscope only to hear loud and clear TORPEDO LOSS!

... and there it goes, swiming happily onto the horizon.

Back to base...

[Gaijin]

Location: Ireland....say no more :O:

OI!

I resemble that comment.

And anyway, its not like I was seriously drunk. I'd only had about 6 beers. That's like, officially considered sober over here. :()1:

[Gaijin]

I'm sure I remember a post on another thread where someone recounted a patrol where they were going to rendezvous with a German tanker for refueling at sea (not in some friendly or neutral port). While patrolling the appropriate area in anticipation of the supply ship, they sighted a tanker coming into range that appeared to be flying the red British ensign, and sank it. Then continued to cruise around looking for that German tanker they were supposed to be meeting, which really ought to have been around there somewhere... only to realize that it wasn't a Union Jack they'd seen up in the corner of that "British" tanker's flag but the, er, swastika of a German flag. On a German tanker. That was waiting to refuel them. Oopsie!

Am I imagining things or did I really read that? Can't remember who posted it.


You make it sound so much more 'professional' then it really was. :oops:

I'm still surprised that I haven't managed to torpedo my own boat yet. Though, if I survive my current career for another year I may just get the chance once homing eels are available.

[OSU]

Elco PT boats are a LOT more dangerous than you think. 5th patrol out in that $&@#ing harbor Hull a PT boat puts a million holes in my hull. Be careful around those damned things.

[desirableroasted]

The noob mistake I make just about every patrol....

"Hey...these tubes aren't going to reload themselves, people!"

[Jimbuna]

OI!

I resemble that comment.

And anyway, its not like I was seriously drunk. I'd only had about 6 beers. That's like, officially considered sober over here. :()1:

LOL :DL



http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_jjqlEoLFDNQ/S6QGG6wfUAI/AAAAAAAABqs/TOShGz7OGxs/s400/JBMonge7.jpg

[U777]

A word of the wise (or not so wise) to all the other noobs like me out there: when you see a plane, DIVE. Trying to duke it out with them on the surface is not smart at all. Just crash and get the hell out of there.

Good idea, the only time I would employ the AA guns are if the sub is too damaged to dive or its too shallow.

[JokerOfFate]

Oh, I have a very long list of noob mistakes:
1) Driving into my own fat eel.
2) Killing myself with 2 of my own homing eels.
3) Attacking a convoy, thinking I was submerged.
4) Surfacing under a destroyer while it was dropping DCs.
5) Exploded
6) While using hot keys, a set the speed to back emer. while leaving port.
7) Rammed a sinking C3 cargo.
8) Sunk a ship,dove to 15m, sinking ship lands on top of me and brings me down with it.

One time not too long ago, I was having a beer and biscut while reloading the externals 'bout 4 mins left.
"Aircraft spotted"
I drop my biscut which lands on a clean plate (Good day),
I drop my beer which lands on my pants (Bad day),
I spot the plane all it is is a search plane,
but that thing made me drop my beer, so flak crew on deck.
"Fire at will"
They blow the thing out of the sky,now it's his turn.
He crashes into the side of the ship, blowing me out of the water.(Karma on the spot)

[Sailor Steve]

:rotfl2:

That's a pretty impressive list! :rock:

[Weiss Pinguin]

At least your biscuit was okay :haha:

[JokerOfFate]

But that was a great beer, I guess it counts as a KIA at least for my morale.

Steve thats not even the whole list I think there was about 50 or so I might post the whole list just to show how bad I was, and still am, at this game.

[flag4]

Back in 2005, when the game was new, I was doing the gunnery training for about the fifth time (I keep starting over when new mods are released). I was shooting at a merchant from about 300 meters when he exploded, killing my entire bridge crew.

Shortest career ever.

CLASSIC! :yep:

[klh]

My list are repeats of others' and most happened in SH2.

1) Trying to drive and fire the deck gun at the same time, only too late realizing that nobody else was watching where we were going. "Collision Alarm!"

2) Forgetting to negate the "silent running" order and wondering why the sub is filling with water and the repair crews are just whistling Dixie.

3) Order crash dive on a harbor raid when spotting a DD heading for me.

4) Ordering "rudder amidships" and the crew hears "Torpedo los" as I fat finger the ENTER key by mistake (before modding the key map).

5) Believing I could shoot down aircraft any better than the rest of my idiot crew.

6) Setting my time warp too high while leaving base and running into black holes.

7) Trying to transfer external torpedoes while chasing a convoy only to be spotted by some eagle-eyed Tommy.