Jimbuna
01-24-09, 01:17 PM
General Custer is standing on a hill overlooking the Little Big Horn. In the distance he can hear Sitting Bull's braves pounding on their drums.
He turns to a little geordie soldier in his ranks, "listen" he says, "they have war drums."
The geordie replies, "why, man! The f*ckin', thievin' bas*ards..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My wife has started visiting a new hairdressers run by a geordie girl.
Today my wife asked for a 'perm'.
The geordie girl started, "I wandered lonely as a cloud..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A geordie and a mackem get into a nasty car accident. Both vehicles are really wrecked, but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the Mackem says, "so you're a geordie, that's interesting. I'm a Sunderland fan... Wow! Just look at our cars. There's nothing left but, fortunately, we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days."
The geordie replied, "I totally agree - this must be a sign from God!" The geordie went on, "and look at this - here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of whisky didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink it, to celebrate the fact we are alive and kicking?"
He hands the bottle to the Mackem who nods his head in agreement, opens it and takes few big swigs from the bottle, then hands it back to the geordie. The geordie takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the Mackem. The Mackem asks, "aren't you having any?"
The geordie replies, "nah...I think I'll just wait for the police......"
He turns to a little geordie soldier in his ranks, "listen" he says, "they have war drums."
The geordie replies, "why, man! The f*ckin', thievin' bas*ards..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My wife has started visiting a new hairdressers run by a geordie girl.
Today my wife asked for a 'perm'.
The geordie girl started, "I wandered lonely as a cloud..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A geordie and a mackem get into a nasty car accident. Both vehicles are really wrecked, but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the Mackem says, "so you're a geordie, that's interesting. I'm a Sunderland fan... Wow! Just look at our cars. There's nothing left but, fortunately, we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days."
The geordie replied, "I totally agree - this must be a sign from God!" The geordie went on, "and look at this - here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of whisky didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink it, to celebrate the fact we are alive and kicking?"
He hands the bottle to the Mackem who nods his head in agreement, opens it and takes few big swigs from the bottle, then hands it back to the geordie. The geordie takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the Mackem. The Mackem asks, "aren't you having any?"
The geordie replies, "nah...I think I'll just wait for the police......"