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View Full Version : 20 Things you need to know if you visit Germany and other fun stuff..


Thomen
12-12-08, 05:28 PM
Don't take it too seriously ;)
........................................

http://www.tobsy.de/?p=22


1. We know beer - you don’t.
I don’t know who labeled your dishwater “beer”, but it’s misleading. When you order a beer in Germany - don’t expect it to be ice cold. And yes, the foam is intended to be there.

2. The Autobahn
This much is true: On the autobahn no speed limit sign actually means no speed limit.

3. Soccer is not for chicks. Well, not only.
In Germany most women don’t care about soccer. Men do. Combine the American fondness for football, basketball and baseball, and you have an idea what soccer means to us.

4. When you want to see people wearing “Lederhosen” - go to Bavaria.
Bavaria is the German Texas. People speak in a funny way, wear strange things and the rest of the country makes fun of them. The Bavarian “Lederhosen” are like the Texan cowboy hats.

5. Sundays are for relaxation, not for shopping. The same goes for holidays - and we’ve got lots of them.
Yes, Germans like rules and this is one most foreigners don’t understand. Shopping of all kind is done weekdays from 8 am to 9 pm (every shop has different times, but most open in this timeframe). The only exception: Gas stations. That’s why some of them look like small grocery stores.

6. Don’t expect us to smile. We’re not at Wal-Mart.
In the 90s Wal-Mart spent billions to become a big shot in Germany’s retail market. Greeting customers, smiling, being friendly,suppressing unions - the whole package. In 2006 they sold their stores and left. We’re not big at smiling for no reason.

7. Don’t speak German? Try English.
Most Germans, age 40 and below, speak English. Maybe their English is not perfect, but you should get by. Oh, and should you feel the urge to laugh about their accent - Try to speak German. We like a good laugh now and then, too.

8. When you hear “Volksmusik” - RUN!
It’s like an endless polka of hell. Although I don’t have scientific proof, I am sure that Volksmusik can melt your brain.

9. Yes, we have a public transportation system.
With the exception of tiny villages you can go nearly everywhere without a car. If you don’t understand why this is important to us, fill up your gas tank at a German gas station and look at your bill. And we tend to be environmentalists.

10. You don’t like to see two men kissing? Look the other way (And don’t go to Cologne).
Like I said in another post - unless we want to be involved, we don’t care about other people’s sexuality. Oh, and Cologne is like the gay capital of Germany.

11. I don’t care what you have heard about European liberality when it comes to sex and drugs - This is not Holland!
No coffee shops, no legal drug supply. When it comes to drugs, Germany is not much different from the US.

12. If you don’t want to see nipples, don’t turn on the tv.
I’m serious. Especially the program of the private stations at night can be a series of phone sex commercials.

13. It’s not pessimism when you know that everything is bad.
One day god told the people: “The world is going to end.” The Germans were pissed and went home. Then he continued: “It will take a couple of billion years.” The Americans were happy. Okay, I can’t proof it, but I guess that’s how it happened.

14. Should you travel with kids age 16 or older: Watch them.
They are legally allowed to drink beer and wine. No hard liquor, though.

15. No math needed. Our stated prices include taxes.
I never understood why you put price tags on products, that don’t state what you have to pay.

16. Don’t wait to be seated.
Look, there is an empty nice table. Have a seat. Easy concept.

17. Tips are nice, but not mandatory.
In Germany a waiter’s salary is enough to get by. It’s not much, but makes a tip not mandatory. In Germany it is a pure sign of gratitude for a good service.

18. We use 220/230 V instead of 110 V. Buy an adapter.
Seriously, you wouldn’t believe how many tourists come here unprepared.

19. The nazi-times are long gone.
But that doesn’t mean that there are not some leftovers. If someone looks like a Skinhead, shouts like a skinhead and smells like a skinhead - trust your judgement and try to avoid him. Especially in Eastern Germany.

20. Don’t believe everything you read on the web. Not even this list.
It’s a generalization. Most people you meet in a German city are not that much different than the ones at home. We can be friendly and funny and very hospitably.


----------------------------------------


And since we see it here on the forum every once in a while:


http://www.tobsy.de/?p=30

10 common German prejudices about the USA


Whenever people talk about the USA, it doesn’t take long until you hear sentences that start with “That’s typical. Americans are all…”. Well, what are you? I’ve asked around, talked to people and this is a list of the 10 prejudices I’ve heard most often.

- Americans are extremely superficial.
I tend to blame this on the celebrity culture on both sides. I hear that superstition a lot, but I can’t really see us Germans being different. Yes, I guess you are superficial, but so are we.

- What’s with all the fast food?
The biggest fast food chains in Germany: McDonald’s & Burger King. Of course there are also some Subways, KFC and Pizza Huts. When we think fast food, we think America. And to be honest: I think Americans DO eat more fast food, although I have never heard of a decent Doener Kebap in the US. That’s Germany’s favorite fast food.

- You like to watch how people die, but not how they are made.
This is one of my prejudices about the US. After the “Janet Jackson incident” at the Superbowl, I got an IM from an American. It went something like this: He: “You wouldn’t believe what happened. JJ’s tit fell out. I could totally see it!” Me: “So?”. On the other hand you have no problem with violence in movies. That’s where I’m some kind of wuss. What can I say? I’m more of a productive type ;).

- Americans are war mongers.
Sorry, but you’ll have to live with this prejudice. Foreigners will always judge you by the actions of you government. I don’t know anyone personally who voted for Bushes second term. But if you did, let me use this opportunity to say: You ****ed up!

- Beer will kill you, guns won’t.
Minimum age to drive: 16. To own a gun: 18 (depends on state, I know). To drink a beer: 21. Uhm, do I need to explain, why this sounds a little bit weird to a German?

- Go to America and you’re gonna get killed.
It’s easy to understand why people think that. News about violence simply sell better than a documentary about neighbors hugging each other. In 1993 there was a series of murders in Miami. A couple of German tourists were killed in carnappings, if I remember correctly. Even 14 years later, people still remember that. It seems that fear has got a long lasting durability.

- Americans are religious nutjobs.
Jesus Camp, no premarital sex, “I don’t believe in evolution”, homophobia, a president who believes to have dialogs with god - Again, I have never met anyone personally who shows symptoms like that. I don’t think that many Americans are such religious nutjobs, but if you meet a German with this prejudice, don’t be too hard on him. Stuff like that is really hard to comprehend.

- Americans don’t give a **** about their poor people.
In Germany everyone is entitled to certain benefits. If you can’t afford a place to stay, clothes to wear, food to eat, health care, you get help. That’s how we believe it should be, and we pay a load of money for it. You get a lot more help than in the US. Some Germans see that and think of the US as a country where no one cares about the poor. In Germany we don’t have your culture of voluntary work or public service.

- Everything needs to be XXL (houses, cars, refrigerators, Burgers, breast implants,…).
Okay, this is more of an observation than a prejudice. What do you need SUVs for? The place? Don’t you have station wagons? And who needs these huge fridges? And who eats this gigantic portions at your restaurants? Hey, I am fat, and even I don’t need that much. Seriously, could someone explain that to me?

- Americans are a bunch of self-centered ignorant people.
I wouldn’t say it that harsh, but self-centered? Yes, I think so. Your news, no matter what medium, concentrate a lot more on your own issues than the news in other countries. It’s easy to get the impression that you simply don’t care about the rest of the world. Although from my own experience, I got a totally different impression of the Americans I’ve met (on- and offline).

Okay, take a deep breath and calm down. It’s over. After compiling this list, I’ve become curious about the way you Americans see us Germans. So, I’d like you to tell me, what your prejudices are about us. Take your time and tell me what you think about Germany and why. The more, the better. Leave it in the comments, use the contact form or send me an email (tobsy@tobsy.de). I’d be happy to hear from you.

UnderseaLcpl
12-12-08, 06:29 PM
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:


I enjoyed that. If Bavaria is the Texas of Germany, that's where I'm going when I next visit Europe (after the Denmark meet, of course:D )

My favorite American beliefs about Germans are that the average German is composed of 6 right-angles and twelve 45-degree angles, and that every morning, the average German irons their trousers, shirt, jacket, hat, and skin to achieve the sharpest possible creases.
Contrary to popular belief, the Germans are a very affectionate people. Couples typically greet each other with a stern glare every morning, and a firm handshake upon returning home.
Germans are an efficient people. So efficient, in fact, that their national anthem has been reduced to chanting "Germany over all" for about 3 minutes, without regress to poetic nonsense.

Skybird
12-12-08, 07:55 PM
Germans are an efficient people. So efficient, in fact, that their national anthem has been reduced to chanting "Germany over all" for about 3 minutes, without regress to poetic nonsense.

It's not our anthem. Indeed, it is forbidden. And even the now forbidden version did not sing that for 3 minutes. Where did you get that?

This is the now valid German anthem, this, not more and not less, and nothing else:

Unity and law and freedom
For the German Fatherland
Let us all strive for that
In brotherhood with heart and hand!
Unity and law and freedom
Are the foundation for happiness
Bloom in the glow of happiness
Bloom, German Fatherland.



Bavaria is a good place for holiday, so is the coast of the Baltic.

Task Force
12-12-08, 08:07 PM
:rotfl: some funny stuff on your list Thomen.:yep:

August
12-12-08, 08:43 PM
http://www.nowtoronto.com/issues/2004-04-01/cover_story-2.jpg



http://www.wildaboutmovies.com/images_2/BeerfestPhoto5.jpg

http://blog.hanon-mckendry.com/images/10.png


:D:D

Task Force
12-12-08, 08:56 PM
:rotfl: GERMANY:rotfl: Land of Polka.:o (Ive always wondered if it is considered a sport.)lol

Thomen
12-12-08, 09:23 PM
Germans are an efficient people. So efficient, in fact, that their national anthem has been reduced to chanting "Germany over all" for about 3 minutes, without regress to poetic nonsense.
It's not our anthem. Indeed, it is forbidden. And even the now forbidden version did not sing that for 3 minutes. Where did you get that?

This is the now valid German anthem, this, not more and not less, and nothing else:

Unity and law and freedom
For the German Fatherland
Let us all strive for that
In brotherhood with heart and hand!
Unity and law and freedom
Are the foundation for happiness
Bloom in the glow of happiness
Bloom, German Fatherland.



Bavaria is a good place for holiday, so is the coast of the Baltic.

/facepalm

Did you forget your sense of humo(u)r when you got out of the bed this morning? ;)

Thomen
12-12-08, 09:29 PM
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:


I enjoyed that. If Bavaria is the Texas of Germany, that's where I'm going when I next visit Europe (after the Denmark meet, of course:D )

My favorite American beliefs about Germans are that the average German is composed of 6 right-angles and twelve 45-degree angles, and that every morning, the average German irons their trousers, shirt, jacket, hat, and skin to achieve the sharpest possible creases.
Contrary to popular belief, the Germans are a very affectionate people. Couples typically greet each other with a stern glare every morning, and a firm handshake upon returning home.
Germans are an efficient people. So efficient, in fact, that their national anthem has been reduced to chanting "Germany over all" for about 3 minutes, without regress to poetic nonsense.
I can tell you.. it was quite shocking for me to discover that I have to say Goodnight, Honey and Good Morning Honey *smooch* everyday (if I want to wake up the next morning that is). :hmm:

UnderseaLcpl
12-12-08, 09:52 PM
Germans are an efficient people. So efficient, in fact, that their national anthem has been reduced to chanting "Germany over all" for about 3 minutes, without regress to poetic nonsense.

It's not our anthem. Indeed, it is forbidden. And even the now forbidden version did not sing that for 3 minutes. Where did you get that?

This is the now valid German anthem, this, not more and not less, and nothing else:

Unity and law and freedom
For the German Fatherland
Let us all strive for that
In brotherhood with heart and hand!
Unity and law and freedom
Are the foundation for happiness
Bloom in the glow of happiness
Bloom, German Fatherland.



Bavaria is a good place for holiday, so is the coast of the Baltic.

Not that I was being serious but Deutschland Uber Alles is a pretty good anthem, in any case.

edit-Come to think of it, this should be the U.S. anthem

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWS-FoXbjVI

Edit-Whoops! Disclaimer: May Contain Coarse Language

Skybird
12-13-08, 02:59 AM
Germans are an efficient people. So efficient, in fact, that their national anthem has been reduced to chanting "Germany over all" for about 3 minutes, without regress to poetic nonsense.
It's not our anthem. Indeed, it is forbidden. And even the now forbidden version did not sing that for 3 minutes. Where did you get that?

This is the now valid German anthem, this, not more and not less, and nothing else:

Unity and law and freedom
For the German Fatherland
Let us all strive for that
In brotherhood with heart and hand!
Unity and law and freedom
Are the foundation for happiness
Bloom in the glow of happiness
Bloom, German Fatherland.



Bavaria is a good place for holiday, so is the coast of the Baltic.

/facepalm

Did you forget your sense of humo(u)r when you got out of the bed this morning? ;)
Bah, i am even not that anthem-type of guy anyway, but in this forum "Deutschland Deutschland über alles" has so often been misgiven as the german anthem in an attempt to minimise Germany and make it appear as still being megalomaniac, that I have become a bit sensitive about this "joke".

Bewolf
12-13-08, 06:16 AM
Aaaactually, the Deutschlandlied in its original form is not forbidden, it's simply not the official version anymore. Only the third stanza is sung and thus the german anthem today.
The other two were left out for two reasons. First, the geographical description of the first stanza, true for imperial Germany, is no longer valid and any motivation to get these areas back is done with.
The second stanca is considered too old fashioned, especially in the way women are presentend. Nothing overly bad, but not fitting in todays world of emancipation.

That said, I got a good laugh out of your list, Thomen :rotfl:

Frame57
12-13-08, 01:27 PM
1981 we pulled into Wilhelmshaven. Found a little Mom and Pop pub and was treated like a son. This elderly couple had a son in the German Navy and Fred the Papa was in WW2. They let us call the states using their phone and would not allow us to pay for it. All fred wanted was an Archerfish ball cap. I did one better than that. I gave him a Cap and an embroided SSN-678 sweatshirt. The XO gave him a framed picture of the boat with its sail sticking out of the polar ice cap. The rest of our stay we were treated to copious amounts of Warsteiner beer and homemade saurbraten with german dumplings. Back then I was not a fan of WW2 era submarines as i am today. If I ever go back I will see if that old bar is still there and see if any remains of the old U-boats still exhist...

AntEater
12-13-08, 01:42 PM
W'haven and Kiel are two worlds.

Kiel regards sailors basically as walking wallets, but wants nothing else.
People there are traditionally unfriendly to the navy.
W'haven is a navy town through and through, you're really welcome there if you wear blue.
Both are about equally sized and both are terribly ugly towns.
Ok, Kiel has the much nicer surroundings and nicer neighbouring towns, while W'haven (Mudtown) is in the middle of nowhere.

But this thread revealed something else Americans should realize.
Older west germans (above 40 I'd reckon) can still be tackled with the nazi club. Younger ones like me just don't care.
East germans of all age are immune to political correctness anyway.
I feel no reason to educate each and every american or other foreigner in the finer aspects of (west)german PC. It sucks anyway so why should I bother foreigners with it?
It really is just of historical value which verse of the Deutschlandlied is sung officially.
We got used to the third one, its quite ok, the borders in the first one are a bit dated anyway so that's that.
We should get over this taboo based thinking. It is irrational.
I got over it at least, not the least due to contact with foreign people, especially americans.

Sailor Steve
12-13-08, 06:28 PM
Great and fun stuff, Thomen.:yep: :rock:

As for some the observations on Americans, I can only quote the old phrase "Hey! I resemble that remark!"

To the observations on Germany, well, they made me laugh too.

@ Skybird: Don't feel defensive at all. Our National Anthem is a poem by a man who watched a battle, and a great poem it is. Only problem is, it was put to the tune of a dirty English drinking song, and you have to be drunk to sing it, or at least to listen to anyone but a professional sing it. It wasn't even our National Anthem for 100 years after it was written, and there are several songs about America which would make better ones. Except the most popular is a rip-off of 'God Save the Queen', and 'America the Beautiful' is just a bit silly.

Yes, Americans are inhibited about sex, or at least about seeing it publically, and our beer is not as good, except for the locally-brewed ones, which I hear are wonderful, and we'd rather shoot the bad guys ourselves that wait for some cop to show up five minutes after we're dead. But at least we're not Germans.

And I'm sure you feel exactly the same way.:rotfl: :up:

Janus
12-14-08, 08:57 AM
This list is hilarious, I liked the one about Volksmusik in particular :D

Jimbuna
12-14-08, 10:03 AM
Love it......and concur with the first point (but not in all its entirity)...(beer is wonderful.

http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd320/pasquarade/drunkcob.gif

A Very Super Market
12-14-08, 12:27 PM
You also have to remember that most maps in Germany are incorrect, due to a certain (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bielefeld_Conspiracy) town that ceases to exist, that is no more, and is an ex-town.

No.. not Konigsberg

SUBMAN1
12-14-08, 01:32 PM
http://www.nowtoronto.com/issues/2004-04-01/cover_story-2.jpg



http://www.wildaboutmovies.com/images_2/BeerfestPhoto5.jpg

http://blog.hanon-mckendry.com/images/10.png


:D:DAs they say, a picture is worth a thousand words. I'd say you got 3000 of them easy right here! :rock:

-S

Schöneboom
12-14-08, 02:36 PM
http://media.outnow.ch/movies/images/2003/SchultzeGetsTheBlues/movie.fs/01.jpg

Jimbuna
12-14-08, 04:09 PM
How does he manage to play that thing whilst sleeping :hmm:

Falkirion
12-14-08, 05:56 PM
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
Nice list. I got a couple of laughs out of it. I still dont get the whole German stance on violence, you miss out on some good games because of it.

August
12-14-08, 10:25 PM
As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words. I'd say you got 3000 of them easy right here! :rock:

-S

The question was about prejudices and I think those characters are a composite of the most common prejudicial German stereotypes in the US.

bookworm_020
12-14-08, 11:27 PM
Liked the list, but there a couple of things they need pointing out. Call them the Australian version!

1. We know beer - you don’t.
I don’t know who labeled your dishwater “beer”, but it’s misleading. When you order a beer in Germany - don’t expect it to be ice cold. And yes, the foam is intended to be there.
Room tempreture beer here in Australia is a no no! 35 degree beer!:huh: Do agree on the foam, we are not England!

On the autobahn no speed limit sign actually means no speed limit.
Here we have speed limits, just that no one can reach them in peak hour, let alone break it!:roll:

3. Soccer is not for chicks. Well, not only.
Soccer it not a main line sport here in Australia, why would it be with grown men crying over someone slapping them in the face?:doh:

The Bavarian “Lederhosen” are like the Texan cowboy hats.
I have pictures of Neal in stockings going through my head!:damn:

Sundays are for relaxation, not for shopping. The same goes for holidays - and we’ve got lots of them.
A.K.A. BBQ at the beach day!:up:

When you hear “Volksmusik” - RUN!
Agree, also run if you see Rolf Harris armed with a wobble board!:eek:

Yes, we have a public transportation system.
We do too, but that will make you want to drive after putting yourself at the mercy of it! Just wait till I'm a train driver!:D

You don’t like to see two men kissing? Look the other way (And don’t go to Cologne).
and King's Cross in Sydney!:doh:

If you don’t want to see nipples, don’t turn on the tv.
Why should I??? I'll just go to Bondi beach or Manly!:p

It’s not pessimism when you know that everything is bad.
It's just accepting the fact that it's all screwed up!:yep:

Should you travel with kids age 16 or older: Watch them.
They will steal your wallets if you don't!:shifty:

No math needed. Our stated prices include taxes.
Unless if your trying to buy a car!:damn::damn:

Don’t wait to be seated.
Otherwise the 16 year old kids wil sit there first!:x

Tips are nice, but not mandatory.
"Work hard, and be good to your mum!";)

We use 220/230 V instead of 110 V. Buy an adapter.
Ditto! But you will need a different adaptor here as the socket is different!

Don’t believe everything you read on the web. Not even this list.
Including this forum!:smug:

OneToughHerring
12-15-08, 12:54 AM
I'd definitely like to visit Germany one day, and the neighboring countries. I've heard much good things about the southern Germany, Austria and the region of the Alps.

Bewolf
12-15-08, 05:17 AM
I'd definitely like to visit Germany one day, and the neighboring countries. I've heard much good things about the southern Germany, Austria and the region of the Alps.

What?
you prefer this:
http://www.wellness-beauty-hotel.info/ludwig/images/neuschwanstein600.jpg
http://www.javivicente.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/01/Neuschwanstein.jpg (http://www.terjenet.com/2004%20-%20Germany%20&%20Austria/Bigpics/Schloss%20Neuschwanstein%201.jpg)
(no, Hitler did not build it)

over this?:

http://g-emdm.co.uk/images/c/c2/Brandenburg_Gate.JPG
(no, Hitler did not build this either)

oh why oh why do I understand your preferences :rotfl:

Clichés are a bliss, after all :rotfl: